Hi! This is Charlie. Do you have plans this morning?
This is like the 4th inbox I've christened with dumb shit
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proprietrix
2024-05-09 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
( that ain't dad. IT NEVER IS. )
Counseling in dreams?
Oh uh
Want to grab brunch? I actually meant to message someone else but I think this phone is out to embarrass me or something. Not that I don't want to go with you! I'm always happy to meet new people!
Counseling in dreams?
Oh uh
Want to grab brunch? I actually meant to message someone else but I think this phone is out to embarrass me or something. Not that I don't want to go with you! I'm always happy to meet new people!
I promise it's not! I'm just not sure how this Oracle thing works I guess! It keeps bouncing my texts around to random people.
But I wouldn't mind getting some fancy frittatas and mimosas with you if you want! No pressure!
But I wouldn't mind getting some fancy frittatas and mimosas with you if you want! No pressure!
I know theres a nice bakery in town. Worst case scenario I just make it myself! Easy!
I'll bring some champagne just in case! I'm sure they won't mind. Wear your best, uh, suit?
Wear your best whatever! It doesn't have to be fancy!
Everything is fine on my end, outside of the bizarre anomalies of course.
But there's no need to apologize. A counselor's duty isn't to master lucid dreaming - I can hardly blame you for what happened.
Though I have to say it was troubling to see you consumed in such a way.
But there's no need to apologize. A counselor's duty isn't to master lucid dreaming - I can hardly blame you for what happened.
Though I have to say it was troubling to see you consumed in such a way.
[Oh my GOD what the hell happened between point a and point b to make Maruki Eren's personal soccer ball. He came in here with a Different Question, but now he has about 20 brand new ones.]
That's a creative solution to your problem, though for your body's sake I would suggest finding a different kind of alarm.
How did you meet Eren?
That's a creative solution to your problem, though for your body's sake I would suggest finding a different kind of alarm.
How did you meet Eren?
[A flash of pooled blood, a child in the middle proclaiming rot and love in equal measure. A world destroyer.
Akechi's a bit disappointed for a reason he can't fully peg, but who gives a shit what Eren does. He can whisper his woes to a 'kind hearted' doctor all he wants. Absolutely pathetic.]
I'm happy to hear it. Under your care, I'm sure Eren will become a healthier, happier individual.
As for how I know him, we're allies. We have been since the day I was brought here.
[There's a small delay, a pause in his words. Even if it's all a bizarre front, they should each play their part. They're-]
We're friends, actually.
Akechi's a bit disappointed for a reason he can't fully peg, but who gives a shit what Eren does. He can whisper his woes to a 'kind hearted' doctor all he wants. Absolutely pathetic.]
I'm happy to hear it. Under your care, I'm sure Eren will become a healthier, happier individual.
As for how I know him, we're allies. We have been since the day I was brought here.
[There's a small delay, a pause in his words. Even if it's all a bizarre front, they should each play their part. They're-]
We're friends, actually.
I'm so happy to hear that! He's a genuinely good person.
Ah, I'm sure I'll meet your other friends eventually,
business does seem to be preemptively booming... Is there anyone specific I should look out for?
That goes for non-friends too. I'm not naive.
Ah, I'm sure I'll meet your other friends eventually,
business does seem to be preemptively booming... Is there anyone specific I should look out for?
That goes for non-friends too. I'm not naive.
[Wow, Eren's a piece of shit, actually. Maybe he gave Maruki too much credit - it's not like the kid's good at subterfuge or lying. Too blunt, too honest - a worn, withered heart on a bloody sleeve.
Thinks of Aubrey and how her hand gripped his tight and-]
Yes, I'm sure you will. Though friends may be a generous overestimation of my relationship with others here. It's important not to get too attached, no matter how kind the people are.
While this is a valuable experience, it's temporary. The people we meet included. I understand how harsh that sounds and I dislike bluntly stating such things. However, it's the truth.
No names come to mind for either request.
Thinks of Aubrey and how her hand gripped his tight and-]
Yes, I'm sure you will. Though friends may be a generous overestimation of my relationship with others here. It's important not to get too attached, no matter how kind the people are.
While this is a valuable experience, it's temporary. The people we meet included. I understand how harsh that sounds and I dislike bluntly stating such things. However, it's the truth.
No names come to mind for either request.
Trust me, I agree. Like I said before, while I'm here I want to help people as much as I can. Counseling is the only way that I can help - as sad as I'm sure that sounds, hah!
But beyond that, it's already proving valuable. This is my own way of investigating.
But beyond that, it's already proving valuable. This is my own way of investigating.
I'm sure you won't be lacking in clientele. There are many here who are looking for a helpful ear, whether you get my input or not.
Did you learn anything of note? Of course, I understand you may not be able to provide details given the confidential nature of your position.
Did you learn anything of note? Of course, I understand you may not be able to provide details given the confidential nature of your position.
Yes, I was told that too. And offered a personal demonstration when I didn't believe it. People here are certainly interesting.
I'm actually more interested in the deaths that do stick. People appearing after deaths back in their realities, impermanent deaths here... To me, that's simply cognitive manipulation. But then, how to explain the consequences of a permanent death?
I'm actually more interested in the deaths that do stick. People appearing after deaths back in their realities, impermanent deaths here... To me, that's simply cognitive manipulation. But then, how to explain the consequences of a permanent death?
[A personal demonstration - that's kind of funny.
Less funny is the cognitive manipulation comment - harmless on its own, but a reminder of Maruki's connection to Shujin. Of his appearance here. Of many little coincidences of fate that Akechi doesn't believe in.]
Do you mean permanent deaths occurring here?
The only time I've heard of such a thing is with the natives of this place, though...
[The viscera in the dungeon felt like a permanent end, but they were whisked away after the sleeping gas was let loose. Were they really dead?
The looping world and townspeople - an answer feels close. At the tip of his fingers, right outside his peripheral vision.]
I suppose I can't be certain of that at all.
Less funny is the cognitive manipulation comment - harmless on its own, but a reminder of Maruki's connection to Shujin. Of his appearance here. Of many little coincidences of fate that Akechi doesn't believe in.]
Do you mean permanent deaths occurring here?
The only time I've heard of such a thing is with the natives of this place, though...
[The viscera in the dungeon felt like a permanent end, but they were whisked away after the sleeping gas was let loose. Were they really dead?
The looping world and townspeople - an answer feels close. At the tip of his fingers, right outside his peripheral vision.]
I suppose I can't be certain of that at all.
Yes. I was told that sometimes death is permanent and sometimes it isn't. I believe she was speaking specifically about dreamers.
Anyhow, it's still too early for me to develop any solid theories. But it isn't dissimilar to what I've studied in the past, so I'm hopeful we can discover something important together.
Anyhow, it's still too early for me to develop any solid theories. But it isn't dissimilar to what I've studied in the past, so I'm hopeful we can discover something important together.
[That is new information to him. Vital. It changes the game, makes a warped palace theory seem more plausible. Kill the cognition, death is permanent - but what's the distinction or what kills a cognition in full?
He needs Loki back.]
You truly did get some remarkable information. Thank you for sharing it with me - that's useful.
What did you study?
He needs Loki back.]
You truly did get some remarkable information. Thank you for sharing it with me - that's useful.
What did you study?
[Another tick, another mark - a large one, bolded, underlined and pressed into pinboards with little red lines crossing it.
A brain scavenged like a bird ripping apart carrion. Memories pulled up and twisted to the forefront - Wakaba Isshiki's last words, anything to note. The research in her cognitive world - the way she begged the way she had a daughter the thought of an orphaned daughter a daughter who will be-
He thinks about the walls - unknown words written and unrecognizable. The research on her person - collected from scattered puddles of blood, ripped car parts, through a daughter's distortion forming, through the loss of a mother, the 'suicide' of a mother, a mother's feet dangling over a tipped chair and-
He thinks about the papers in his hands, before he gave them to Shido. Not the full collection that his cleaners picked apart from her home. Enough for him to glean his own conclusions - Maruki wasn't named there, was he? Wakaba - he only remembers her name plastered in small, weathered font.
Maruki is not a coincidence - not here, not in Shujin.
The wall starts to shift - images forming from the pearlescent lines scratching across his vision and the divots in stone and wall.
Time passed - quite a bit. His phone glitched - it does that. He decided it does that a long time ago.]
Apologies, my phone sometimes acts up.
It may surprise you, but I am familiar with it on a basic level. Though I can't claim any kind of in-depth knowledge on the topic.
I'm sure you've heard that my work dealt with mental shutdowns and psychotic breaks. Cognitive Psience naturally appeared in my own investigation and I found myself fascinated with it.
A brain scavenged like a bird ripping apart carrion. Memories pulled up and twisted to the forefront - Wakaba Isshiki's last words, anything to note. The research in her cognitive world - the way she begged the way she had a daughter the thought of an orphaned daughter a daughter who will be-
He thinks about the walls - unknown words written and unrecognizable. The research on her person - collected from scattered puddles of blood, ripped car parts, through a daughter's distortion forming, through the loss of a mother, the 'suicide' of a mother, a mother's feet dangling over a tipped chair and-
He thinks about the papers in his hands, before he gave them to Shido. Not the full collection that his cleaners picked apart from her home. Enough for him to glean his own conclusions - Maruki wasn't named there, was he? Wakaba - he only remembers her name plastered in small, weathered font.
Maruki is not a coincidence - not here, not in Shujin.
The wall starts to shift - images forming from the pearlescent lines scratching across his vision and the divots in stone and wall.
Time passed - quite a bit. His phone glitched - it does that. He decided it does that a long time ago.]
Apologies, my phone sometimes acts up.
It may surprise you, but I am familiar with it on a basic level. Though I can't claim any kind of in-depth knowledge on the topic.
I'm sure you've heard that my work dealt with mental shutdowns and psychotic breaks. Cognitive Psience naturally appeared in my own investigation and I found myself fascinated with it.
Edited (why did they SPELL it like psience i s2g) 2024-05-11 21:35 (UTC)
[ The gap in communication doesn't bother Maruki or even register as odd. He's used to Akira, pulled in so many different directions and apologizing for leaving him hanging. No worries and no expectations for immediacy.
Good thing this conversation didn't happen in person, huh! ]
Oh, that's right! You would be familiar with it then. It's an engrossing topic, isn't it? If you ever want to learn more, I'm happy to share my knowledge. It really was my passion before counseling.
Ah, but I also don't want to bore you! Nobody likes to listen to a middle aged guy ramble on.
Good thing this conversation didn't happen in person, huh! ]
Oh, that's right! You would be familiar with it then. It's an engrossing topic, isn't it? If you ever want to learn more, I'm happy to share my knowledge. It really was my passion before counseling.
Ah, but I also don't want to bore you! Nobody likes to listen to a middle aged guy ramble on.
Edited 2024-05-11 21:48 (UTC)
[It's bait. It's a trap. It's both and he can't tell who's dangling the hook.]
I would love nothing more than to hear what you have to say. It won't bore me in the slightest.
Please, let's find a time to meet up soon to discuss this. I'll be taking notes and would like for the time to be uninterrupted. I'll work around your schedule, of course.
I would love nothing more than to hear what you have to say. It won't bore me in the slightest.
Please, let's find a time to meet up soon to discuss this. I'll be taking notes and would like for the time to be uninterrupted. I'll work around your schedule, of course.
[Eren's adheres to a pretty strict routine, designed to keep his mind off of anything other than What He's Currently Doing, which always must be something, lest it be nothing, and he ends up alone with his thoughts. When that happens, he shifts into one of his animal forms. He'd tended to favor his bird form for a while after he first discovered it, but with the state of the world now (fish falling from the sky, etc.), he's back to relying on the tried and true Wolf of Escapism and Avoidance.
[It's just easier not to think so much this way...
[Most people don't blink an eye at him wandering the edges of town, even if he does venture close to the shops or houses. A docile wolf is hardly the strangest thing people here have to worry about (though, after all of the wolf attacks last month, he's a little more careful, at least).
[He picks up Maruki's scent before he sees him, which is weird. Must be out and about, Eren figures - shopping or something like that? Eren sees him come into view. He knows Maruki won't recognize him, but he can't really help himself; see friend, go to friend - his brain operates half on canine instinct. So, over bounds a very large brown wolf, eyes somehow even wider and greener than usual.
[He stops a few paces away from Maruki, though his large tail gently swishes, betraying affection he isn't even full conscious of. He barks.]
[It's just easier not to think so much this way...
[Most people don't blink an eye at him wandering the edges of town, even if he does venture close to the shops or houses. A docile wolf is hardly the strangest thing people here have to worry about (though, after all of the wolf attacks last month, he's a little more careful, at least).
[He picks up Maruki's scent before he sees him, which is weird. Must be out and about, Eren figures - shopping or something like that? Eren sees him come into view. He knows Maruki won't recognize him, but he can't really help himself; see friend, go to friend - his brain operates half on canine instinct. So, over bounds a very large brown wolf, eyes somehow even wider and greener than usual.
[He stops a few paces away from Maruki, though his large tail gently swishes, betraying affection he isn't even full conscious of. He barks.]
[ You know, Eren might be onto something there. While waiting for his business license to clear and failing to find a decent place to live, Maruki is completely unmoored from any semblance of a schedule that he had before, and it's beginning to make him a bit stir crazy. There's only so much sleeping and dreaming counseling one can do, especially when it only serves to wake him up more tired than before. He would like to at least enjoy this free time and catch up on his variety shows that were always on at his favorite late night cafe, but this world has neither variety shows nor late night cafes. It's essentially hell.
For want of anything better to do, and despite his distrust of the suddenly violent locals and other bizarre phenomena inherent to this place, he forces himself out to go for walks. Usually he ends up looping in circles and drawing the ire of some goblin, or getting rained on by fish, so it's not, like, a pleasant experience. Ever. But he does it anyway just for something to do at all.
And this walk is no exception to the rule: Just as he's managed to unstick himself from a loop and try making his way back to the housing district, there is a fucking wolf heading straight for him.
Are you supposed to make yourself big and scary with wolves, or play dead? He has never done a day of wilderness survival training in his life. He's going to die here. He'll get to experience Inferna like Maki threatened, because a fucking wolf mauled him to death.
He ducks down, covering his head with both arms and yelping out a panicked litany of ohgodohgodohgodohno until– ]
... O-oh?
[ He peeks out from beneath one arm. Takes in the sight of the wolf just staring at him. Blinks. Tries to remember how to breathe. ]
Um... hi. Are wolves friendly here?
[ Who is he asking? THE WOLF? He's losing his mind. ]
For want of anything better to do, and despite his distrust of the suddenly violent locals and other bizarre phenomena inherent to this place, he forces himself out to go for walks. Usually he ends up looping in circles and drawing the ire of some goblin, or getting rained on by fish, so it's not, like, a pleasant experience. Ever. But he does it anyway just for something to do at all.
And this walk is no exception to the rule: Just as he's managed to unstick himself from a loop and try making his way back to the housing district, there is a fucking wolf heading straight for him.
Are you supposed to make yourself big and scary with wolves, or play dead? He has never done a day of wilderness survival training in his life. He's going to die here. He'll get to experience Inferna like Maki threatened, because a fucking wolf mauled him to death.
He ducks down, covering his head with both arms and yelping out a panicked litany of ohgodohgodohgodohno until– ]
... O-oh?
[ He peeks out from beneath one arm. Takes in the sight of the wolf just staring at him. Blinks. Tries to remember how to breathe. ]
Um... hi. Are wolves friendly here?
[ Who is he asking? THE WOLF? He's losing his mind. ]
[...Eren straight up pretended he was going to attack Akechi, and he didn't react like this...It's more than a little pathetic.
[Eren lays down in front of Maruki, placing his head on his paws. His ears flatten amicably, tail swishing faster. There's a little rumble in his chest that might sound like a growl, but he can't really help it - this is just how he talks!]
[Eren lays down in front of Maruki, placing his head on his paws. His ears flatten amicably, tail swishing faster. There's a little rumble in his chest that might sound like a growl, but he can't really help it - this is just how he talks!]
[ AKECHI IS INSANE, DON'T USE AKECHI AS A METRIC FOR ANYTHING!!
Maruki stares wildly at the wolf's behavior, mind racing. It could be a trap. Generally, he isn't predisposed to paranoia or even much suspicion – he is a trusting man to his bones. But this place has been getting under his skin, and he's wary.
But the wolf is pretty cute, for a huge wolf. What's the worst that could happen? ]
You are friendly, aren't you?
[ He reaches out a hand, visibly trembling. ]
... Good wolf??
Maruki stares wildly at the wolf's behavior, mind racing. It could be a trap. Generally, he isn't predisposed to paranoia or even much suspicion – he is a trusting man to his bones. But this place has been getting under his skin, and he's wary.
But the wolf is pretty cute, for a huge wolf. What's the worst that could happen? ]
You are friendly, aren't you?
[ He reaches out a hand, visibly trembling. ]
... Good wolf??
[Eren could eat him. That's probably the worst that could happen in this scenario. He won't do that though-- although? No, just kidding. He won't.
[Maybe though?
[He won't, he won't. Relax.
[Maruki is so clearly nervous that Eren doesn't even have the heart to fuck with him; aside from that, Maruki's really been nothing but kind to Eren, and they aren't exactly friends, just...
[Whatever they are, he supposes. Patient and doctor? Weird...
[Eren slowly lifts his head, pressing his face against Maruki's outstretched hand, eyes blinking. There's no way for him to talk like this, and he's not ready to change back. Eren wonders if there's any way to let Maruki know it's him. Probably not, huh...]
[Maybe though?
[He won't, he won't. Relax.
[Maruki is so clearly nervous that Eren doesn't even have the heart to fuck with him; aside from that, Maruki's really been nothing but kind to Eren, and they aren't exactly friends, just...
[Whatever they are, he supposes. Patient and doctor? Weird...
[Eren slowly lifts his head, pressing his face against Maruki's outstretched hand, eyes blinking. There's no way for him to talk like this, and he's not ready to change back. Eren wonders if there's any way to let Maruki know it's him. Probably not, huh...]
[ Oh, the fur is soft.
That's Maruki's immediate first thought, nerves quelled by a pleasant sensation. His survival instincts are zero.
He stays staring at the wolf as he rubs its cheek. Weird. So weird.
His first instinct is to call Akechi – he has offered to help with anything Maruki runs into trouble with, after all – but they've spoken so recently that it feels a bit pathetic. He shouldn't cling to the one person from his reality. Besides, Akechi was able to distract the goblins that were after them well enough, but he's just a high schooler slash detective slash celebrity. He wouldn't be able to fight off a wolf if need be.
On the other hand... ]
Ah, no sudden movements...
[ Slowly, very slowly, he reaches into his coat pocket with his other hand and pulls out his phone to dial Eren.
It rings through until he can leave a message. ]
Hi there, Eren-kun, this is Dr. Maruki. Thank you again for your hospitality the other night, it really is unmatched. Ah, if you get this, I'm currently on the outskirts of the housing district and I've been cornered by a wolf. I'd appreciate your assistance if you're available. If not, no worries! I'm sure I'll be able to handle it! Bye!
[ He hangs up, pauses for a moment, dials again and sighs when it still doesn't connect. ]
That's Maruki's immediate first thought, nerves quelled by a pleasant sensation. His survival instincts are zero.
He stays staring at the wolf as he rubs its cheek. Weird. So weird.
His first instinct is to call Akechi – he has offered to help with anything Maruki runs into trouble with, after all – but they've spoken so recently that it feels a bit pathetic. He shouldn't cling to the one person from his reality. Besides, Akechi was able to distract the goblins that were after them well enough, but he's just a high schooler slash detective slash celebrity. He wouldn't be able to fight off a wolf if need be.
On the other hand... ]
Ah, no sudden movements...
[ Slowly, very slowly, he reaches into his coat pocket with his other hand and pulls out his phone to dial Eren.
It rings through until he can leave a message. ]
Hi there, Eren-kun, this is Dr. Maruki. Thank you again for your hospitality the other night, it really is unmatched. Ah, if you get this, I'm currently on the outskirts of the housing district and I've been cornered by a wolf. I'd appreciate your assistance if you're available. If not, no worries! I'm sure I'll be able to handle it! Bye!
[ He hangs up, pauses for a moment, dials again and sighs when it still doesn't connect. ]
["No sudden movements." Now this is funny. Eren disobeys. When Maruki says his name, he pulls his head away and loudly, brightly barks, tail wagging rapidly. Maruki finishes his message, and Eren gets up from the ground, butting his head repeatedly into the hand that holds Maruki's phone. Although Eren is pretty subdued most of the time, there's only so much a wolf can do to communicate (that, and the...embarrassing dog instincts); point being, it's an energetic, enthusiastic motion, the way he nudges at that phone, yipping all the while.]
Wh– ah!!
[ For a brief moment he's terrified again, freezing in place – but then it becomes clear that the motion isn't aggressive. It's still scary, being from a huge wolf, but it's...
Familiar, almost?
And those eyes...
Oh, he really is losing his mind. ]
Eren-kun?
[ For a brief moment he's terrified again, freezing in place – but then it becomes clear that the motion isn't aggressive. It's still scary, being from a huge wolf, but it's...
Familiar, almost?
And those eyes...
Oh, he really is losing his mind. ]
Eren-kun?
[ ............................................
He picks up the phone and dials again. ]
Hi, Eren-kun. It's Dr. Maruki again. Ignore my last message. The wolf is you.
[ He hangs up, pockets the phone, and laughs helplessly. ]
What on earth are you doing out here?
He picks up the phone and dials again. ]
Hi, Eren-kun. It's Dr. Maruki again. Ignore my last message. The wolf is you.
[ He hangs up, pockets the phone, and laughs helplessly. ]
What on earth are you doing out here?
[Eren might only feel this way because he's in his less thought-heavy form, but he really does think he'd laugh right now if he could. He yips instead - little staccatos that almost sound like he's making conversation. He paces around in a circle a few times - just taking a walk! His tail continues to swish in a friendly manner.
[He sits down and barks at Maruki, tilting his head heavily to the side? What on Earth are you doing out here? Maruki?]
[He sits down and barks at Maruki, tilting his head heavily to the side? What on Earth are you doing out here? Maruki?]
[ Maruki finally stands up from his pathetic ball of accepting death, knees audibly cracking as he does, and rests a hand on Eren's head to scritch between his ears. Weird, won't stop being weird, but so long as he's a wolf it's probably okay... ]
Are you going to make it a habit to join my mandatory mental health walks, then? I wouldn't mind, now that I know not to fear for my life.
Are you going to make it a habit to join my mandatory mental health walks, then? I wouldn't mind, now that I know not to fear for my life.
[He can't deny head-scratching while in this form, it's true. They don't have to talk about it later - it's fine!
[At Maruki's question, Eren nudges his big head into Maruki's side, signaling to pay attention. He paces back a few steps, hunkering down low as if he's about to pounce, run, or something else.
[If he doesn't get this right, it's going to be really embarrassing; he's been practicing...
[Passing Maruki, he runs a few yards and then leaps - nails it! Half-way through the jump, wolf morphs seamlessly into a white seabird. Eren circles in the air, letting out a cry. He always get a little too carried away with flying, at first, swooping around and soaring up high. He's used to going a little crazy like this, but he hasn't forgotten Maruki. He circles slowly back down and lands on his shoulder.]
[At Maruki's question, Eren nudges his big head into Maruki's side, signaling to pay attention. He paces back a few steps, hunkering down low as if he's about to pounce, run, or something else.
[If he doesn't get this right, it's going to be really embarrassing; he's been practicing...
[Passing Maruki, he runs a few yards and then leaps - nails it! Half-way through the jump, wolf morphs seamlessly into a white seabird. Eren circles in the air, letting out a cry. He always get a little too carried away with flying, at first, swooping around and soaring up high. He's used to going a little crazy like this, but he hasn't forgotten Maruki. He circles slowly back down and lands on his shoulder.]
What the–!!
[ It cannot be overstated that Maruki is possibly the most normal Persona user to ever use a Persona. He has seen nothing out of the plain and ordinary fare that modern Tokyo has to offer besides (static noises) and even that was the briefest glimpse. He has most definitely never seen a wolf, who used to be a human, transform into a bird.
He falls back flat on his ass in his shocked flailing when the bird lands on his shoulder. ]
Eren-kun, if you turn into a dolphin next, I'm going to need some advanced warning!
[ ... The bird is pretty though. He'll hold up the back of his hand to see if it'll perch there. ]
[ It cannot be overstated that Maruki is possibly the most normal Persona user to ever use a Persona. He has seen nothing out of the plain and ordinary fare that modern Tokyo has to offer besides (static noises) and even that was the briefest glimpse. He has most definitely never seen a wolf, who used to be a human, transform into a bird.
He falls back flat on his ass in his shocked flailing when the bird lands on his shoulder. ]
Eren-kun, if you turn into a dolphin next, I'm going to need some advanced warning!
[ ... The bird is pretty though. He'll hold up the back of his hand to see if it'll perch there. ]
[Perch, he does, hopping onto Maruki's finger when its offered. He has no idea what the fuck a dolphin is, so he doesn't plan to turn into one (knows who Dolph is, but doesn't particularly plan on transforming into him either).
[Eren lifts his wing and preens. Pretty cool, right? His feathers flutter across Maruki's nose when he pulls his wing back.]
[Eren lifts his wing and preens. Pretty cool, right? His feathers flutter across Maruki's nose when he pulls his wing back.]
Ah– hey.
[ It tickles and makes him laugh, very genuinely – possibly for the first time around Eren, all of his guards he puts up in counselor mode dropped.
He will analyze this later, of course. But for now it's nice to take a break.
He stands, huffing a little oof at his knees again, and holds his hand up higher to look bird Eren in the eye. ]
Do you have a preference between the two?
[ It tickles and makes him laugh, very genuinely – possibly for the first time around Eren, all of his guards he puts up in counselor mode dropped.
He will analyze this later, of course. But for now it's nice to take a break.
He stands, huffing a little oof at his knees again, and holds his hand up higher to look bird Eren in the eye. ]
Do you have a preference between the two?
[A preference? Eren spreads out his wings, giving a few wide, heavy flaps. He takes off into the air, soaring fast and high, high, high above Maruki, so far up into the sky that he should only be a small speck. He's wondered how far he would be able to fly like this. Is there another world on the other side of Somnius's ocean? They can't be sure...
[He circles slowly, slowly, slowly back down from the top of the sky, landing gracefully back down on Maruki's shoulder, or hand if he holds it back out.]
[He circles slowly, slowly, slowly back down from the top of the sky, landing gracefully back down on Maruki's shoulder, or hand if he holds it back out.]
[ Maruki watches him, neck craned back and hand shielding his eyes, a wide smile over his face. It's almost meditative to witness. He can only imagine how calming it must feel to get to do.
He does indeed hold his hand out. Even strokes his other hand over Eren's feathers, down his back. It might be weird, but he likes animals, okay!! ]
Yes, I think that would be my preference too if I had animal transformation powers of mysterious origin. You're full of surprises, Eren-kun.
[ And then a quick glance around. ]
That's not... not an effect going on right now or anything, is it? Like the fish?
He does indeed hold his hand out. Even strokes his other hand over Eren's feathers, down his back. It might be weird, but he likes animals, okay!! ]
Yes, I think that would be my preference too if I had animal transformation powers of mysterious origin. You're full of surprises, Eren-kun.
[ And then a quick glance around. ]
That's not... not an effect going on right now or anything, is it? Like the fish?
[Well, it seems about time to explain. Eren hops off of Maruki's hand and soars up into the sky again, just for a few more minutes before he has to change back. As he comes to land, he transforms back into the Eren Maruki met (stumbles a little on the landing - whatever). Not only is he fully clothed in his usual outfit (casual, long black coat - not his Scout attire), but he's apparently armed with some strange weapon, as well.
[He starts up conversation again, casual as anything (his mood has gone back to its usual disenchantment, as well).]
I drank the gold potion when I first got here. I could only transform into a wolf at first. I figured out how to change into the bird myself, later. [The crystal helped, but he doesn't know that.]
[He starts up conversation again, casual as anything (his mood has gone back to its usual disenchantment, as well).]
I drank the gold potion when I first got here. I could only transform into a wolf at first. I figured out how to change into the bird myself, later. [The crystal helped, but he doesn't know that.]
Ah!!
[ Okay, yes, theoretically he knew that was Eren, but seeing him transform back into the usual Eren still takes him off guard. He clutches his chest over his heart and then laughs, high and disbelieving. ]
Oh, that's what the potions do? I've been ignoring mine–
[ Wait. ]
You drank yours right away?
[ Okay, yes, theoretically he knew that was Eren, but seeing him transform back into the usual Eren still takes him off guard. He clutches his chest over his heart and then laughs, high and disbelieving. ]
Oh, that's what the potions do? I've been ignoring mine–
[ Wait. ]
You drank yours right away?
Eh...[Eren makes A Face.] Jean was being a huge asshole about his, so I wanted to take mine and see if I could use it to kick his ass.
[Husbandly love!]
Different color potions do different things, though. He took the red potion, which gives elemental powers. Gold potions give animal transformations. Blue potions give healing abilities.
[Husbandly love!]
Different color potions do different things, though. He took the red potion, which gives elemental powers. Gold potions give animal transformations. Blue potions give healing abilities.
[ The explanation of a potion taken purely out of competitive spite makes him laugh – a rare moment where Eren reminds him of any random Shujin student, young and reckless and so very endearing. ]
Thank you for letting me know. Guess it makes sense why mine is blue.
[ Not that he intends on drinking it. When he moves in with Akechi he will probably end up smashing it. It's Fine
He cocks his head to smile at Eren. ]
You can go back to being an animal, if you prefer. Or not! It's good to see you either way.
Thank you for letting me know. Guess it makes sense why mine is blue.
[ Not that he intends on drinking it. When he moves in with Akechi he will probably end up smashing it. It's Fine
He cocks his head to smile at Eren. ]
You can go back to being an animal, if you prefer. Or not! It's good to see you either way.
Guess so, yeah - doctor and all. [Eren frowns, his hands finding their way into the pockets of his coat.
[He recalls that dream. He talked about his father so callously; when he first learned the news, he sprinted to Commander Erwin's bathroom to vomit.]
Ah. What did you say? Sorry.
[He recalls that dream. He talked about his father so callously; when he first learned the news, he sprinted to Commander Erwin's bathroom to vomit.]
Ah. What did you say? Sorry.
No worries. I just said if you wanted to be a wolf or a bird again, that's fine by me.
[ The lapse in attention doesn't escape his notice.
Maruki tucks his own hands into his pockets and jerks his head back toward the path he was taking before he got wolf'd. ]
Either way, will you walk with me?
[ The lapse in attention doesn't escape his notice.
Maruki tucks his own hands into his pockets and jerks his head back toward the path he was taking before he got wolf'd. ]
Either way, will you walk with me?
[Eren doesn't have to consider long; an appropriate pause, and then he nods. It's tempting to turn back into a wolf, but his energy is running low now, and he doesn't...hate the idea of talking to Maruki. Maybe it won't turn into a counseling session this time.]
Are you headed somewhere in particular?
Are you headed somewhere in particular?
[ It isn't Maruki's intention to try counseling him now – just as it wasn't over lunch, but at least they'd been in a safe, enclosed space then. Doing it out in the open, in a world where anything bizarre or dangerous could happen at the drop of a hat? With someone whose emotional state is as volatile as Eren's? Absolutely not.
He shrugs amicably as they wander off. ]
No, I've just been making myself go on walks to try to keep some sort of routine while I'm spinning my wheels. I was going to do one more loop and then head back to see if I can get some work done.
[ He inclines his head toward Eren and smiles, zero compunction to share about himself if he can be self-deprecating. ]
In other words, Eren-kun, you're a welcome distraction for a boring guy like me.
He shrugs amicably as they wander off. ]
No, I've just been making myself go on walks to try to keep some sort of routine while I'm spinning my wheels. I was going to do one more loop and then head back to see if I can get some work done.
[ He inclines his head toward Eren and smiles, zero compunction to share about himself if he can be self-deprecating. ]
In other words, Eren-kun, you're a welcome distraction for a boring guy like me.
[ GOD THE TEMPTATION IS SO REAL. But no. Resist the urge to prod and analyze and advise. Have a normal conversation. Think of Akira. Actually maybe don't think of Akira or it's bound to get sad. ]
We have that in common then! And everything I would have done with my free time back in Tokyo doesn't exist here, so...
[ So walking. Through nature. Not something a perennial Indoor Guy has ever done for fun. He kind of hates it too. ]
Mm. I'll eventually need new hobbies, I suppose.
We have that in common then! And everything I would have done with my free time back in Tokyo doesn't exist here, so...
[ So walking. Through nature. Not something a perennial Indoor Guy has ever done for fun. He kind of hates it too. ]
Mm. I'll eventually need new hobbies, I suppose.
Well, I'm not sure what kind of stuff you like, but...
I train throughout the day. Swords in the morning with my friend, Aubrey, and then later with my Captain and Jean and Mikasa most days. Once a week I clean my Commander and my Captain's place, then meditate. I do that sometimes on my own too, but I'm not very good at it.
In the afternoons, I deliver food. We're trying to make it a business, so I guess that'll take up more time soon too.
[The schedule isn't nearly full enough. He hates sitting around. He spent so many weeks just lying in one spot after he first learned the truth.
[Never mind that none of those things sound particularly like hobbies either.]
I train throughout the day. Swords in the morning with my friend, Aubrey, and then later with my Captain and Jean and Mikasa most days. Once a week I clean my Commander and my Captain's place, then meditate. I do that sometimes on my own too, but I'm not very good at it.
In the afternoons, I deliver food. We're trying to make it a business, so I guess that'll take up more time soon too.
[The schedule isn't nearly full enough. He hates sitting around. He spent so many weeks just lying in one spot after he first learned the truth.
[Never mind that none of those things sound particularly like hobbies either.]
[ That's okay, very little of what Maruki did counted as hobbies either!!! They're in the same boat and Maruki can see it clear as day. ]
Meditation? Really? That's great. Honestly, you sound like you've gotten a nice routine down!
[ Ah, but there is one part of that list that is starting to sting keenly. Maruki purses his lips, mentally weighing whether this might go down a dark path, but Eren did bring up training first.
He kicks a rock out of their path as they walk. ]
I'm staunchly pacifistic, but everything I'm hearing about this reality has made me begin to wonder if I wouldn't benefit from some training too.
Meditation? Really? That's great. Honestly, you sound like you've gotten a nice routine down!
[ Ah, but there is one part of that list that is starting to sting keenly. Maruki purses his lips, mentally weighing whether this might go down a dark path, but Eren did bring up training first.
He kicks a rock out of their path as they walk. ]
I'm staunchly pacifistic, but everything I'm hearing about this reality has made me begin to wonder if I wouldn't benefit from some training too.
Edited (everything's about realities with this bitch not worlds) 2024-05-12 10:18 (UTC)
You would. [Simple as that. One of Eren's hands comes to rest idly on one of the holsters on his hip.]
I've been here since December. The threats here are nowhere near as bad as titans, but they happen often. Just before you got here, we went through almost two weeks of hell. There were corrupted animals everywhere, blindly attacking.
I'm sure people died. I know gelflings and goblins did. [Interesting how he separates "people" and the locals. Hm. No concerning ideology displaying itself there, whatsoever.]
I did an awful lot of rescuing during that time.
[He looks at Maruki.] You should prepare, and you shouldn't waste any time doing it.
I've been here since December. The threats here are nowhere near as bad as titans, but they happen often. Just before you got here, we went through almost two weeks of hell. There were corrupted animals everywhere, blindly attacking.
I'm sure people died. I know gelflings and goblins did. [Interesting how he separates "people" and the locals. Hm. No concerning ideology displaying itself there, whatsoever.]
I did an awful lot of rescuing during that time.
[He looks at Maruki.] You should prepare, and you shouldn't waste any time doing it.
Edited (importan reword) 2024-05-12 10:25 (UTC)
[ Excellent! Everything he didn't want to hear.
It would be difficult for him to explain all the reasons, global and personal, why this goes against every fiber of his being. Especially to someone like Eren who came from such a hellish reality. The worst things that happened to Maruki would make for a banner day to a lot of people here, and he's becoming all too aware of that.
He listens intently, nods along, but he's quiet for a while. When he finally speaks, his voice is very carefully measured, even more so than usual. ]
I'm sorry. I don't intend for you or anyone else to need to rescue me. I won't be that sort of burden to anyone.
[ A beat and then one corner of his mouth does quirk up. ]
Ah, well, I say that, but you saw firsthand that I called you for a harmless wolf encounter.
It would be difficult for him to explain all the reasons, global and personal, why this goes against every fiber of his being. Especially to someone like Eren who came from such a hellish reality. The worst things that happened to Maruki would make for a banner day to a lot of people here, and he's becoming all too aware of that.
He listens intently, nods along, but he's quiet for a while. When he finally speaks, his voice is very carefully measured, even more so than usual. ]
I'm sorry. I don't intend for you or anyone else to need to rescue me. I won't be that sort of burden to anyone.
[ A beat and then one corner of his mouth does quirk up. ]
Ah, well, I say that, but you saw firsthand that I called you for a harmless wolf encounter.
[Maruki's attempt at levity seems to fall flat. Eren gives him a dull look, though his expression is every-so-slightly pinched with...something.]
Would you rather let yourself die than be a burden? That's pretty stupid, if you ask me.
You should call.
Would you rather let yourself die than be a burden? That's pretty stupid, if you ask me.
You should call.
Well, when you put it that way...
[ lmao. yes. The answer to that question is unequivocally yes.
BUT HE IS THE MENTALLY HEALTHY COUNSELOR HERE AND HE WILL SET A GOOD EXAMPLE ]
I'll call, Eren-kun. I just don't want you to worry about me! I have to toughen up sometime.
[ False. If the world is ugly enough to force you to need to toughen up, then you change the world, not yourself. But he may not have an option here. ]
[ lmao. yes. The answer to that question is unequivocally yes.
BUT HE IS THE MENTALLY HEALTHY COUNSELOR HERE AND HE WILL SET A GOOD EXAMPLE ]
I'll call, Eren-kun. I just don't want you to worry about me! I have to toughen up sometime.
[ False. If the world is ugly enough to force you to need to toughen up, then you change the world, not yourself. But he may not have an option here. ]
Doesn't matter.
[Eren stops when Maruki does, turning toward him.]
There's a girl here I really care about. She isn't from a world like mine. She didn't know how to fight - not in a way that really matters.
We trained every single day for months - hours, like war was on our doorstep.
I think she probably survived those two weeks because of that training, and a friend of hers too.
[He's worried that Aubrey thinks she failed, somehow. She didn't. She came back. No one had to explain to the people she cares about that she died in vain...]
We may not have the time to prepare newbies as well as they should be, but it's better than nothing. Do you even know how to hold a weapon?
[Eren stops when Maruki does, turning toward him.]
There's a girl here I really care about. She isn't from a world like mine. She didn't know how to fight - not in a way that really matters.
We trained every single day for months - hours, like war was on our doorstep.
I think she probably survived those two weeks because of that training, and a friend of hers too.
[He's worried that Aubrey thinks she failed, somehow. She didn't. She came back. No one had to explain to the people she cares about that she died in vain...]
We may not have the time to prepare newbies as well as they should be, but it's better than nothing. Do you even know how to hold a weapon?
[ The story lodges somewhere between his ribs. He has to fight the urge to ask who the girl is. He has to fight the urge to reject this reality outright. His rebellion doesn't fit here. He needs– ]
No, I don't. I never have.
[ Even the idea of holding a weapon is anathema to him.
Like war was on our doorstep. He would rather do anything, anything else. ]
Eren-kun. I appreciate the offer. And... I'm aware that I do need to take you up on it.
[ He almost asks for time to think on it, but no amount of time will make him want this any more, and Eren has already told him there's precious little to waste.
He swallows hard, buttons up his expression. ]
I apologize in advance for what an irritating pupil I'll probably be.
No, I don't. I never have.
[ Even the idea of holding a weapon is anathema to him.
Like war was on our doorstep. He would rather do anything, anything else. ]
Eren-kun. I appreciate the offer. And... I'm aware that I do need to take you up on it.
[ He almost asks for time to think on it, but no amount of time will make him want this any more, and Eren has already told him there's precious little to waste.
He swallows hard, buttons up his expression. ]
I apologize in advance for what an irritating pupil I'll probably be.
A-ah, I wish you would... I have a bad back...
[ He starts walking again, more than a little embarrassed that the focus has turned on him, the tips of his ears red. ]
Seriously, if after a few sessions you decide I'm a lost cause, I won't be offended!
[ He starts walking again, more than a little embarrassed that the focus has turned on him, the tips of his ears red. ]
Seriously, if after a few sessions you decide I'm a lost cause, I won't be offended!
I'm not. I just–
[ There is no good way to say this, so fuck it. Just say it. ]
You have a tremendous amount of strength, physical and mental. Counseling isn't easy, but you persevere and you do it well. It won't be the same for me with training. I don't have that sort of strength.
[ Maruki offers him a smile then, genuine despite its sadness. ]
I wouldn't want to disappoint you, that's all.
[ There is no good way to say this, so fuck it. Just say it. ]
You have a tremendous amount of strength, physical and mental. Counseling isn't easy, but you persevere and you do it well. It won't be the same for me with training. I don't have that sort of strength.
[ Maruki offers him a smile then, genuine despite its sadness. ]
I wouldn't want to disappoint you, that's all.
Edited 2024-05-12 11:39 (UTC)
[Eren's strong, sure; something about the way Maruki words it makes him not want to agree. He's plenty weak in plenty of ways, and the world suffered for that as much as it suffered for his strength. Eren doesn't really understand how just talking about things that have happened to him makes him "good" at counseling, but he's not exactly the expert.]
When I joined the Cadet Corps, I couldn't finish a single fight myself.
I wouldn't have wanted to admit it back then, but it's true. It took me years to learn how to hold my own against a comrade my own size, let alone against a fifteen-meter titan.
You won't have years to prepare, but if you can't defend yourself, then you always will be the burden you're afraid you are.
Someone who just sits around, waiting to die...
I have no respect for people like that.
When I joined the Cadet Corps, I couldn't finish a single fight myself.
I wouldn't have wanted to admit it back then, but it's true. It took me years to learn how to hold my own against a comrade my own size, let alone against a fifteen-meter titan.
You won't have years to prepare, but if you can't defend yourself, then you always will be the burden you're afraid you are.
Someone who just sits around, waiting to die...
I have no respect for people like that.
Edited 2024-05-12 11:47 (UTC)
[ And there's that mental strength.
Maruki will have time to spiral about this later. It isn't worth wasting Eren's time with an ideology that is completely alien to his own. The plain truth of the matter is that he does need to be able to defend himself, at the very least – if he can't do that, then he can't help anyone and he certainly can't take back reality.
So, with Eren's final pointed words, he squares his shoulders and nods. ]
Alright. We have a deal.
[ He holds out a hand for Eren to shake, the smile now hopeful, mask firmly in place. ]
I'll put my trust in you to teach me, Eren-kun. I'll do my best.
[ To be clear, his best categorically sucks, but by god he will do it!!! ]
Maruki will have time to spiral about this later. It isn't worth wasting Eren's time with an ideology that is completely alien to his own. The plain truth of the matter is that he does need to be able to defend himself, at the very least – if he can't do that, then he can't help anyone and he certainly can't take back reality.
So, with Eren's final pointed words, he squares his shoulders and nods. ]
Alright. We have a deal.
[ He holds out a hand for Eren to shake, the smile now hopeful, mask firmly in place. ]
I'll put my trust in you to teach me, Eren-kun. I'll do my best.
[ To be clear, his best categorically sucks, but by god he will do it!!! ]
[ Maruki sees the ghost of a smile. Of course he does. He's always watching Eren like a hawk now.
It's enough of a win to get him through the next few days of double-booking his waking and sleeping hours' appointments. ]
It's enough of a win to get him through the next few days of double-booking his waking and sleeping hours' appointments. ]
[They meet on the crest of a hill, beneath a shady tree. Eren is clearly Eren, but he appears much younger, leaning back on his hands in the grass. He watches birds circle in the sky; doesn't seem to notice Maruki yet.
[The landscape of the dream doesn't quite make sense. No matter which direction one looks, they'll find themself staring downhill to the city below. Sometimes it's Somnius, and sometimes it isn't. 50-meter stone walls surrounded them on all sides, not an exit in sight.
[Green eyes find Maruki.]
Did I fall asleep again? [His voice is young too; unlike the Eren Maruki knows, too, in that there's easy life to that voice - not so dull, not so dreary.]
[The landscape of the dream doesn't quite make sense. No matter which direction one looks, they'll find themself staring downhill to the city below. Sometimes it's Somnius, and sometimes it isn't. 50-meter stone walls surrounded them on all sides, not an exit in sight.
[Green eyes find Maruki.]
Did I fall asleep again? [His voice is young too; unlike the Eren Maruki knows, too, in that there's easy life to that voice - not so dull, not so dreary.]
[ It's probably the curse of his own obsessive knowledge of and experimentation with the cognitive world that makes him so aware in these dreams within dreams. Even back at home in Tokyo, he always remembered his dreams vividly, but this sort of lucidity is unique to Somnius.
A transparent attempt to manipulate his own cognition by some unseen force. Wear him down, wear him out. Force him to give until he has nothing left of himself to fight back. It won't work. People here think him weak, but his battle won't ever be physical.
Still: Sleep takes him, and when he doesn't find himself in that office, it's such a profound relief that he doesn't know what to do with himself at first.
The tree, the walls, the shifting mirage of a city– and the boy, instantly familiar from the eyes alone.
Maruki grins down at him, wide and genuine even as another fissure forms in his heart. ]
Eren-kun. I think you did.
[ He sits next to him on the grass, knees pulled up in front of him and forearms draped loosely around them. ]
Is this your home?
A transparent attempt to manipulate his own cognition by some unseen force. Wear him down, wear him out. Force him to give until he has nothing left of himself to fight back. It won't work. People here think him weak, but his battle won't ever be physical.
Still: Sleep takes him, and when he doesn't find himself in that office, it's such a profound relief that he doesn't know what to do with himself at first.
The tree, the walls, the shifting mirage of a city– and the boy, instantly familiar from the eyes alone.
Maruki grins down at him, wide and genuine even as another fissure forms in his heart. ]
Eren-kun. I think you did.
[ He sits next to him on the grass, knees pulled up in front of him and forearms draped loosely around them. ]
Is this your home?
Edited (what the fuck are words) 2024-05-15 07:41 (UTC)
[Eren watches Maruki as he sits down, a little wrinkle in his nose. He recognizes him, though, despite the age he seems. He himself has his legs spread out in the grass, his palms still flat on the ground behind him.
[At Maruki's question, he nods.]
Shiganshina. [He looks down the slope of the hill (very, very, very long - too long). The scenery continues to shift, it...doesn't look quite right, but...Eren can see his house very clearly. He points to it. In the dream, it stands out quite plainly.]
Right there. I can't go back, though.
[At Maruki's question, he nods.]
Shiganshina. [He looks down the slope of the hill (very, very, very long - too long). The scenery continues to shift, it...doesn't look quite right, but...Eren can see his house very clearly. He points to it. In the dream, it stands out quite plainly.]
Right there. I can't go back, though.
[ The one thing that his counseling dreams do have – for the most part, a few blips here and there and certain Aubrey- and tentacle-related exceptions noted – is a consistency with the true reality. The office in his dreams is exactly as it was at Shujin, right down to the familiar sight of the sun setting over Aoyama-Itchome at the end of a long day. Were it not for the strange and varied people who enter, he could easily convince himself that all he would need to do in these dreams is update his notes for his students and head home himself. It's that normal, that banal, like everything else about how people perceive him here.
Others' dreams are a welcome respite from the stress of dream counseling, but they are far less consistent. The seemingly endless slope of the hill and the unnatural wavering of the city discomfit him.
But Eren's house is clear, a fixed point. Maruki focuses on it. ]
Why not?
[ It doesn't look dangerous yet, but he's learned not to get too attached to that notion. ]
Others' dreams are a welcome respite from the stress of dream counseling, but they are far less consistent. The seemingly endless slope of the hill and the unnatural wavering of the city discomfit him.
But Eren's house is clear, a fixed point. Maruki focuses on it. ]
Why not?
[ It doesn't look dangerous yet, but he's learned not to get too attached to that notion. ]
[ Well, that makes more sense. It's not real. It's a dream, so nothing is, but this is clearly Not Real in a different way for Eren.
Maruki can't help the fond upwards tic of one corner of his mouth at the sigh. It's cute to see Eren in a different state. ]
Are you stuck? I could help you up.
[ Does he mean it literally? Who knows! DREAMS!! ]
Maruki can't help the fond upwards tic of one corner of his mouth at the sigh. It's cute to see Eren in a different state. ]
Are you stuck? I could help you up.
[ Does he mean it literally? Who knows! DREAMS!! ]
[ IT'S SO ADORABLE TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY MAKING FACES... IT'S TOO MUCH...!!!
Maruki wrinkles his nose right back. He's always liked kids. ]
Don't they have to let you back in eventually? You can't live up here on a hill. You're shrimpy.
[ And yes, he's going to give Eren's forehead a gentle, teasing push. ]
Maruki wrinkles his nose right back. He's always liked kids. ]
Don't they have to let you back in eventually? You can't live up here on a hill. You're shrimpy.
[ And yes, he's going to give Eren's forehead a gentle, teasing push. ]
Watch it. [Eren slaps Maruki's hand away, but there's no real malice to it.] What are you talking about? They're keeping us in...
[Eren's glare scans the length of the walls, a perfect semi-circle pressed up against a large curve; they're surrounded.]
We can't just sit around, waiting to die...
[Eren's glare scans the length of the walls, a perfect semi-circle pressed up against a large curve; they're surrounded.]
We can't just sit around, waiting to die...
Ah. I see.
[ The world we dreamt of was more awful than we could have ever imagined.
To hear of it is one thing; to see it, another. A stone placed on one side of the scale that he's barely aware of, but he feels the heaviness all the same.
He drops the teasing tone, looks at Eren more seriously. This is not the teenager who's all but outright told him he'll protect him from danger while he's still teaching him to protect himself. This is a child. ]
I don't intend on dying either. So what do you suggest we do?
[ The world we dreamt of was more awful than we could have ever imagined.
To hear of it is one thing; to see it, another. A stone placed on one side of the scale that he's barely aware of, but he feels the heaviness all the same.
He drops the teasing tone, looks at Eren more seriously. This is not the teenager who's all but outright told him he'll protect him from danger while he's still teaching him to protect himself. This is a child. ]
I don't intend on dying either. So what do you suggest we do?
[Blink and you'll miss it, but for a split second, Eren looks--
[No. He was never anything but a child. He makes his expression serious too; maybe that expression should look a bit silly on such a young face, but there's something...discomfiting about its intensity. Eren's little fists are balled up at his sides now, no longer leaning against the ground. He sits in an odd, tense curl.]
We have to fight! This place...It won't be safe forever! We're cattle, waiting to be slaughtered!
[No. He was never anything but a child. He makes his expression serious too; maybe that expression should look a bit silly on such a young face, but there's something...discomfiting about its intensity. Eren's little fists are balled up at his sides now, no longer leaning against the ground. He sits in an odd, tense curl.]
We have to fight! This place...It won't be safe forever! We're cattle, waiting to be slaughtered!
[ It's the same conviction he's seen in Eren every time they've talked. In their reality, it's a quiet, smouldering intensity – and here it has all the fire of youth. It would be endearing if he wasn't acutely aware of how things are going to go for this young boy in the future.
Maruki keeps his tone firm and even, trying to ground some part of Eren here that he can still reach. That brief flash–
If he's here, he might as well see how this cognition will respond to a little pushback. ]
Your fate – this place's fate isn't set in stone. There's always something that can be done. How will you fight?
Maruki keeps his tone firm and even, trying to ground some part of Eren here that he can still reach. That brief flash–
If he's here, he might as well see how this cognition will respond to a little pushback. ]
Your fate – this place's fate isn't set in stone. There's always something that can be done. How will you fight?
["...this place's fate isn't set in stone," Maruki says; Eren's heard it before. He doesn't quite know what Maruki's talking about, at this current moment, too entrenched in the dream; the words still make him prickle.]
Nothing will change if we don't fight. [There's a terrible sound - a rumbling. All around them, the massive stone walls begin to shake and fracture, large fissures crackling through the stone.]
I will fight. [That brief flash again - a tall body in dark clothes, hair tied up. It doesn't last.] If no one else will, then that's what I have to do! I can't just let her die!
[He hasn't answered the question - or, at least, not with words. The walls continue to quake.]
Nothing will change if we don't fight. [There's a terrible sound - a rumbling. All around them, the massive stone walls begin to shake and fracture, large fissures crackling through the stone.]
I will fight. [That brief flash again - a tall body in dark clothes, hair tied up. It doesn't last.] If no one else will, then that's what I have to do! I can't just let her die!
[He hasn't answered the question - or, at least, not with words. The walls continue to quake.]
[ Oh, well, he's been pulled into two abysses but he hasn't died in his dreams yet. He assumes that's about to change, in a violent fashion.
And then his mind fights back: He doesn't want to die, not even in dreams, and especially not in front of someone who has already seen so much in his waking life.
Maybe if he tries to go along with this, his cognition will play nicely and he won't be entirely useless.
So he stands and extends a hand for Eren, entirely serious. ]
Then I'll fight with you. But you have to show me.
And then his mind fights back: He doesn't want to die, not even in dreams, and especially not in front of someone who has already seen so much in his waking life.
Maybe if he tries to go along with this, his cognition will play nicely and he won't be entirely useless.
So he stands and extends a hand for Eren, entirely serious. ]
Then I'll fight with you. But you have to show me.
Huh? [He looks his age again, but something still isn’t quite right. He still isn’t nearly as subdued, and something about his general demeanor just seems younger than the Eren Maruki knows, if only slightly. He’s still lost in the dream. They may as well be having two different conversations. He shakes his head.]
You can’t help. Only I can do it.
[The walls continue to rumble, but they don’t crumble; they seem to be in some sort of suspension for the time being.]
You can’t help. Only I can do it.
[The walls continue to rumble, but they don’t crumble; they seem to be in some sort of suspension for the time being.]
[ new life mission: dream shrimpy baby eren and take him to get some gelato and have one (1) nice day
Maruki blinks at this new-old Eren, closer to how he recognizes him but still with more– life, he supposes.
If he's about to witness whatever changes that, so help him god, he is expediting this Azathoth regain JUDICIOUSLY ]
Only you? That seems like a lot of undue responsibility on one guy's shoulders, Eren-kun.
Maruki blinks at this new-old Eren, closer to how he recognizes him but still with more– life, he supposes.
If he's about to witness whatever changes that, so help him god, he is expediting this Azathoth regain JUDICIOUSLY ]
Only you? That seems like a lot of undue responsibility on one guy's shoulders, Eren-kun.
[ WELL. The stillness seems like a good sign? Maybe?? Unless this is a calm before the storm type of situation. In which case, Maruki will start making peace with his many-tentacled god.
He needs to understand. ]
Then what do you intend to do on your own?
He needs to understand. ]
Then what do you intend to do on your own?
[The boy is gone. There sits a man in his place, but no less a child. This is a different Eren; infinitely colder than the subdued, broken-hearted boy Maruki met in his office. The sky has grown dim, and the ground rattles down as large pieces of the wall begin to crumble and fall to the ground. Screams echo in this distance all around them, but stones continue to fly.]
I will protect my people. [His voice, deep, dark. This isn't a soul to be saved - no, this soul is rotten, rotten, rotten. Its stench permeates the air all around them.
[Heat. Humidity. It builds up to the point of boiling. Giants break from the walls. The noise is unbearably loud, the ground shaking uncontrollably where Eren sits, still.
[Surely, they'll all be crushed, right?
[But, although disembodied voices around them continue to shriek and scream, the titans don't march inward; they march out, out, out across the world, their numbers neverending.
[Look back to Eren. He curls forward where he sits. There's something wrong. Rib bones just out from his sides, tearing through clothes and growing, white and wide, burrowing under the ground and back up again to trap Maruki and he inside of the same cage.
[They're stuck still, but Eren says:] I will keep moving forward.
[ The horror of it all robs him of his perception for a while – long moments that only stretch impossibly longer in dreams. The sight of the giants, the screams, the destruction – it's already the worst thing Maruki has seen in his uneventful life.
His mute terror doesn't last. When Eren's ribs burst forth and engulf them, he screams like he hasn't in years, many years, not since that February night–
It should be enough to wake him up in a frantic cold sweat.
Should be, but then– ]
What?
[ It doesn't make sense. They're both trapped in here, sitting ducks, except– ]
Eren-kun.
[ Perhaps it's unwise, what with the uhhhh exploding bone cage and all, but he shifts closer and rests a hand on Eren's hunched shoulder.
Nothing is coming for them.
Maruki blinks heavily. Voice still shaking with fear, but now a little awe as well. ]
Are you protecting me?
His mute terror doesn't last. When Eren's ribs burst forth and engulf them, he screams like he hasn't in years, many years, not since that February night–
It should be enough to wake him up in a frantic cold sweat.
Should be, but then– ]
What?
[ It doesn't make sense. They're both trapped in here, sitting ducks, except– ]
Eren-kun.
[ Perhaps it's unwise, what with the uhhhh exploding bone cage and all, but he shifts closer and rests a hand on Eren's hunched shoulder.
Nothing is coming for them.
Maruki blinks heavily. Voice still shaking with fear, but now a little awe as well. ]
Are you protecting me?
( SPECIAL DELIVERY. There is a box waiting for Maruki that is almost comically heavy when he lifts it. Inside are countless notebooks filled with pages of notes started the day of Lioriley's arrival back in February, all the way to about two days ago when she wrote about more odd shit happening around town and the locals weird behavior when she tried to buy a dress from a pig in a peacoat.
Everything is dated and labeled appropriately and her handwriting is immaculate; swirling script perfectly aligned despite there being no lines to write on. She did not leave a letter, if only because it seemed obvious what this was about, but she did leave a diagram of where her cottage is located so he could visit if so desired. )
Everything is dated and labeled appropriately and her handwriting is immaculate; swirling script perfectly aligned despite there being no lines to write on. She did not leave a letter, if only because it seemed obvious what this was about, but she did leave a diagram of where her cottage is located so he could visit if so desired. )
[ he and akechi are going to stay up all day and night reading these, thank you, this is the worst possible thing someone could have done for them and vash literally made them roommates so that's saying something
HE WILL FEEL EXTREMELY BAD LATER AND REPAY HER SOMEHOW. TIME WILL TELL HOW ]
HE WILL FEEL EXTREMELY BAD LATER AND REPAY HER SOMEHOW. TIME WILL TELL HOW ]
My tastes tend to be picky in this area, but it's not bad for such a small town.
[He hates it, actually. It's shit compared to LeBlanc and its only purpose is as a shot of caffeine.]
Take care to avoid that in the future. Aubrey and I happened to be there while a rather volatile argument was looping. We were almost hit with a stray knife. Who knows when that might happen again.
[He hates it, actually. It's shit compared to LeBlanc and its only purpose is as a shot of caffeine.]
Take care to avoid that in the future. Aubrey and I happened to be there while a rather volatile argument was looping. We were almost hit with a stray knife. Who knows when that might happen again.
Yes. I know quite a few people here after so many months, whether they know it or not.
[Stalking the network is a vibe - even if 50% of the information shared is useless, petty drivel.
The next text is delayed - a pause as his fingers refuse to hit send, and-]
However, she's a friend of mine. We tend to talk often.
[Stalking the network is a vibe - even if 50% of the information shared is useless, petty drivel.
The next text is delayed - a pause as his fingers refuse to hit send, and-]
However, she's a friend of mine. We tend to talk often.
I can't deny that.
It's a detective's duty to use every viable resource available. People are eager and comfortable providing information on it, so it seems prudent to take advantage.
Even personal accounts tend to be very interesting. The variety of worlds and realities represented is vast. Sometimes I can hardly believe what I'm reading - it's almost like a fantasy novel.
It's a detective's duty to use every viable resource available. People are eager and comfortable providing information on it, so it seems prudent to take advantage.
Even personal accounts tend to be very interesting. The variety of worlds and realities represented is vast. Sometimes I can hardly believe what I'm reading - it's almost like a fantasy novel.
Duly noted! I will make all of my messages private.
Just kidding (￣▽￣*)ゞ
Ah... yes, it's presenting some unique challenges for me. Just because the emotional wounds that need to be dealt with are the same across realities doesn't mean that I take it in stride when the set dressing to those wounds involves fairies, Norse gods, cyborgs, aether, etc.
I suppose it's never dull!
Just kidding (￣▽￣*)ゞ
Ah... yes, it's presenting some unique challenges for me. Just because the emotional wounds that need to be dealt with are the same across realities doesn't mean that I take it in stride when the set dressing to those wounds involves fairies, Norse gods, cyborgs, aether, etc.
I suppose it's never dull!
Who says I wasn't trained in decryption techniques? Feel free to private all your back woes. It changes nothing.
[The altruist counselor persona again - what a tedious ordeal to go through. It's Maruki's business though, ridiculous as it is to continue in a temporary world.]
You really plan to start counseling here? I know you spoke of it in a previous conversation, but I wasn't sure of your final decision.
I have to say it's noble of you take on such a task with our limited time here.
[The altruist counselor persona again - what a tedious ordeal to go through. It's Maruki's business though, ridiculous as it is to continue in a temporary world.]
You really plan to start counseling here? I know you spoke of it in a previous conversation, but I wasn't sure of your final decision.
I have to say it's noble of you take on such a task with our limited time here.
[ Brief interlude to check to see if he's posted anything incriminating or embarrassing. Not really, pathetic excuse for flirtation aside. Lotta confidential patient stuff though! Fucking oops!!! Should he add a "Don't message me over Oracle" clause to the contracts that no one will want to sign anyway? god dammit ]
Oh, yes. I already forked over the shards for the business license, so it's in progress. I guess even magical crystals have to go through the red tape of paperwork.
My reasoning remains the same. It's all I know how to do. If I can help while I'm here, it's my duty to do so. And it's how I gather information, so ultimately, it serves our larger goal.
[ Kinda like how specifically seeking out Akira to counsel was done both out of true altruism and an ulterior motive to learn about the cognitive world? Yep! It Can Be Both. ]
If I can admit something to you, though... it's shocking how eager people are. At Shujin it was like pulling teeth. It's strange.
Oh, yes. I already forked over the shards for the business license, so it's in progress. I guess even magical crystals have to go through the red tape of paperwork.
My reasoning remains the same. It's all I know how to do. If I can help while I'm here, it's my duty to do so. And it's how I gather information, so ultimately, it serves our larger goal.
[ Kinda like how specifically seeking out Akira to counsel was done both out of true altruism and an ulterior motive to learn about the cognitive world? Yep! It Can Be Both. ]
If I can admit something to you, though... it's shocking how eager people are. At Shujin it was like pulling teeth. It's strange.
[Because the people at Shujin knew better than to trust one more 'well meaning' adult in their lives after being exploited over and over.]
I'm sure you're aware of the phenomenon where people find it easier to speak to a stranger than someone they know.
Everyone here is aware you won't be in their world after this situation is resolved. I imagine it must feel comforting to speak your mind to someone you know will never be able to relay the secrets you tell them.
Those in Tokyo don't have such protections. Well meaning and kind as you are, those barriers can be difficult to cross.
I'm sure you're aware of the phenomenon where people find it easier to speak to a stranger than someone they know.
Everyone here is aware you won't be in their world after this situation is resolved. I imagine it must feel comforting to speak your mind to someone you know will never be able to relay the secrets you tell them.
Those in Tokyo don't have such protections. Well meaning and kind as you are, those barriers can be difficult to cross.
You're correct, and I've certainly had that thought too. The eagerness seems excessive even considering that, though.
Not that I'm complaining. It's great that people want to pursue their own healing so badly! Better that than the opposite.
Although... that does bring me to a topic I've been encountering and wanted your thoughts on.
What do you make of the dreamers who genuinely believe their lives are better here and have no interest in returning to their realities?
Not that I'm complaining. It's great that people want to pursue their own healing so badly! Better that than the opposite.
Although... that does bring me to a topic I've been encountering and wanted your thoughts on.
What do you make of the dreamers who genuinely believe their lives are better here and have no interest in returning to their realities?
[A conversation shared with Eren again and again - it's the only way their volatile first meeting became allyship. A promise to fight so everyone could choose.
Akechi doesn't give a shit whether they live their life placated by false gods or die in their rotten worlds.
But they talk - Maruki and Eren. Justice and an image are more important than his true thoughts. It doesn't matter. He just needs to get back with minimal issue, minimal problems.]
I'm sympathetic to their plight. When given the opportunity to live an easier life, most would accept it in a heartbeat. I can't fault anyone for that decision - who would willingly choose to live in hell over purgatory? I think very few.
I have no interest in trying to change the minds of others. My sole goal is to find the truth of this world and return to our true reality. The decisions made by others are their own.
However, in saying that -
I will not accept anything less than returning to Tokyo. Should the goals of others get in the way of that, it will be necessary to reassess and negotiate with them as needed.
Akechi doesn't give a shit whether they live their life placated by false gods or die in their rotten worlds.
But they talk - Maruki and Eren. Justice and an image are more important than his true thoughts. It doesn't matter. He just needs to get back with minimal issue, minimal problems.]
I'm sympathetic to their plight. When given the opportunity to live an easier life, most would accept it in a heartbeat. I can't fault anyone for that decision - who would willingly choose to live in hell over purgatory? I think very few.
I have no interest in trying to change the minds of others. My sole goal is to find the truth of this world and return to our true reality. The decisions made by others are their own.
However, in saying that -
I will not accept anything less than returning to Tokyo. Should the goals of others get in the way of that, it will be necessary to reassess and negotiate with them as needed.
All good points. Generally I agree with you, but I guess I think about it with a slightly different framework because of my background.
People can be convinced of anything when they're vulnerable. If the goal is to keep dreamers here as a means to whatever end, it makes sense to prey upon people who have little to return to.
There's power in collective thought. If that sense of complacency grows, it could easily affect this reality. Every time something changes, I think about it in terms of how the cognitions of the masses might be swaying things.
I could be chasing after nothing, of course. It's just a thought I've had.
Anyhow, we have the same goal! I can't tell you how much of a relief that is.
People can be convinced of anything when they're vulnerable. If the goal is to keep dreamers here as a means to whatever end, it makes sense to prey upon people who have little to return to.
There's power in collective thought. If that sense of complacency grows, it could easily affect this reality. Every time something changes, I think about it in terms of how the cognitions of the masses might be swaying things.
I could be chasing after nothing, of course. It's just a thought I've had.
Anyhow, we have the same goal! I can't tell you how much of a relief that is.
[That new perspective into the situation is troubling - a reminder that hypotheticals to Maruki, are reality to him. Mementos shifts with the collective thought. Walls raise and fall, graves and distortions appear, shadows warp and twist and-
That isn't good. A problem. Complacency in the the mindless morons who blithely accept whatever is handed to them is an issue he didn't care about in the slightest.
Eren's desire to stay - many others who feel the same. A cognitive shift that traps them in labyrinths and shitty fucking towns and-
All at once, he's livid.
It's a good theory - a great one. If Mementos has warped due to the collective thoughts of the majority - if there's a cabal exploiting that in the background, then there's a big goddamn problem in the making.
In the same vein, it's nothing Loki couldn't slash down. The solution, at once, sudden and simple. Turning citizens of this shithole to ash is easier than the nonsense they're dealing with now.
The response is-
Delayed. Weighted down. Sudden realizations combined with previous paranoia - morphing into solutions. Simple. Easy. Get back to Shido.]
Apologies - my phone froze. It is a relief.
Your theory may be plausible. If such thoughts are being exploited by those in charge, then many things start to make sense.
I will be operating with this perspective in mind. I thank you for sharing it and look forward to more in-depth discussions on the matter.
In fact, if you have time tonight, I would like for you to teach me whatever you can. That way I can be prepared to notice outliers and patterns to prove or disprove your statement.
That isn't good. A problem. Complacency in the the mindless morons who blithely accept whatever is handed to them is an issue he didn't care about in the slightest.
Eren's desire to stay - many others who feel the same. A cognitive shift that traps them in labyrinths and shitty fucking towns and-
All at once, he's livid.
It's a good theory - a great one. If Mementos has warped due to the collective thoughts of the majority - if there's a cabal exploiting that in the background, then there's a big goddamn problem in the making.
In the same vein, it's nothing Loki couldn't slash down. The solution, at once, sudden and simple. Turning citizens of this shithole to ash is easier than the nonsense they're dealing with now.
The response is-
Delayed. Weighted down. Sudden realizations combined with previous paranoia - morphing into solutions. Simple. Easy. Get back to Shido.]
Apologies - my phone froze. It is a relief.
Your theory may be plausible. If such thoughts are being exploited by those in charge, then many things start to make sense.
I will be operating with this perspective in mind. I thank you for sharing it and look forward to more in-depth discussions on the matter.
In fact, if you have time tonight, I would like for you to teach me whatever you can. That way I can be prepared to notice outliers and patterns to prove or disprove your statement.
As you've astutely noted in the past... even just the Sleepr bios hint toward the ability to use our own thoughts against us. That's small potatoes compared to widespread manipulation via collective thought, of course, but they have the same source. If one is possible - and indeed, already happening! - then the other is as well.
But that's just one researcher's opinion!
[ WHICH. WELL. SPEAKING OF! ]
Do I have time to talk about cognitive psience tonight??? Akechi-kun, I'd make time for it if I didn't.
But I do! After dinner?
But that's just one researcher's opinion!
[ WHICH. WELL. SPEAKING OF! ]
Do I have time to talk about cognitive psience tonight??? Akechi-kun, I'd make time for it if I didn't.
But I do! After dinner?
[It's not like he didn't read the cognitive psience research pressed into his hands to be delivered to Shido. It's a matter of the content being out of reach, the subject matter appealing only from a basic sense - his ultimate goal doesn't line up with learning the inner workings of that unknown world.]
There is likely a collective point where those feelings merge - or so I would assume, if that's the case. An area where all feel a sense of connection. We should also make time to visit such areas.
[The garden. The crystal. A few notable places come to mind.]
Though for our talk, after dinner suits me. If you find yourself wanting to speak while you're cooking or eating too, I wouldn't be opposed to hearing as much as I can in the time we're able to spend together.
There is likely a collective point where those feelings merge - or so I would assume, if that's the case. An area where all feel a sense of connection. We should also make time to visit such areas.
[The garden. The crystal. A few notable places come to mind.]
Though for our talk, after dinner suits me. If you find yourself wanting to speak while you're cooking or eating too, I wouldn't be opposed to hearing as much as I can in the time we're able to spend together.
[ Kinda adorable that Akechi is just as eager as he is, if not more, actually. Oh, it's horrible how fond Maruki is becoming of him. ]
I know from experience that no matter how much I enjoy cooking, if I get on a roll talking about cognitive psience, I can and will become absorbed in it and burn everything. Even the rice. It's my one fatal flaw.
See you tonight!
[ Listen, if the promise of a rousing academic discussion with very real consequences for the mess they're currently in is what gets him through the day, then so be it. Maruki never thought he'd have reason to discuss cognitive psience again once he got here, much less someone so excited to hear it. Akechi really is full of surprises.
He comes back home earlier than normal, arms full of fresh ingredients from the marketplace as they are almost every night. Even with how volatile the shopping area can be, it's become a soothing routine, picking out what he'd like to make for everyone after a long day. He fully intends to continue it when he's counseling full-time in an official capacity. Like a meditation, helping him to process the day's thoughts and emotions.
All that to say, he really would fuck up this Attempted Veggie Yakisoba if he had Akechi asking him questions about the collective unconscious while making it. Way, way too excited.
Mission successful: He's nearly done and ready to plate up when Akechi returns to the castle and joins him in the kitchen, as welcome a presence as ever. Maruki calls him in and chatters on as he finishes up,
a dish towel slung over one shoulder and his glasses half-fogged. ]
Welcome home! Let me say up front that I make no promises this will taste anything like what we could get back home. I'm improvising a lot with the sauces available here... Ah, if I get desperate, I might have to start making my own mirin... I've considered asking the crystal for some more familiar ingredients, but that seems like a gamble, doesn't it? Which reminds me!
[ Collective points where feelings merge. He's thought about it all day. ]
I'm up for visiting any areas we consider to be highly cognitively concentrated any time. Sorry, forgot to tell you that when we were chatting earlier! Long day.
[ He also wants to get in that labyrinth, but that's getting ahead of things. ]
I know from experience that no matter how much I enjoy cooking, if I get on a roll talking about cognitive psience, I can and will become absorbed in it and burn everything. Even the rice. It's my one fatal flaw.
See you tonight!
[ Listen, if the promise of a rousing academic discussion with very real consequences for the mess they're currently in is what gets him through the day, then so be it. Maruki never thought he'd have reason to discuss cognitive psience again once he got here, much less someone so excited to hear it. Akechi really is full of surprises.
He comes back home earlier than normal, arms full of fresh ingredients from the marketplace as they are almost every night. Even with how volatile the shopping area can be, it's become a soothing routine, picking out what he'd like to make for everyone after a long day. He fully intends to continue it when he's counseling full-time in an official capacity. Like a meditation, helping him to process the day's thoughts and emotions.
All that to say, he really would fuck up this Attempted Veggie Yakisoba if he had Akechi asking him questions about the collective unconscious while making it. Way, way too excited.
Mission successful: He's nearly done and ready to plate up when Akechi returns to the castle and joins him in the kitchen, as welcome a presence as ever. Maruki calls him in and chatters on as he finishes up,
a dish towel slung over one shoulder and his glasses half-fogged. ]
Welcome home! Let me say up front that I make no promises this will taste anything like what we could get back home. I'm improvising a lot with the sauces available here... Ah, if I get desperate, I might have to start making my own mirin... I've considered asking the crystal for some more familiar ingredients, but that seems like a gamble, doesn't it? Which reminds me!
[ Collective points where feelings merge. He's thought about it all day. ]
I'm up for visiting any areas we consider to be highly cognitively concentrated any time. Sorry, forgot to tell you that when we were chatting earlier! Long day.
[ He also wants to get in that labyrinth, but that's getting ahead of things. ]
Edited 2024-05-18 10:20 (UTC)
[For a second, he's back in Tokyo - wandering into trendy food stalls promoted on Instagram, hot sun blaring against his back in a steam filled space too small for than a couple people. There's a solitary moment of peace before-
No shoulder to shoulder touch, a room too large and spaced out, steam racing for the ceiling instead of an open stall window.
There's a peculiar comfort in the smell of fried noodles and vegetables. One he didn't expect to get hit with. Maruki said he would cook and by god, he's doing it every day. A trend he doesn't suspect will last much longer, once he realizes Vash truly is a moron who won't kick them out for not contributing.
He edges up to his tiptoes for a second - eyeing the meal in the pan before taking a-
Those half fogged glasses look ridiculous. Familiar. He blinks and sees a fluffy haired teen huddled over a curry pot in LeBlanc instead of -
A seat. He takes a seat across the kitchen bar - still watching.]
It smells like home. I thought I walked into a stall in Kichijoji when I came through those doors. It's impressive how you worked with the minimal items available at the market for our home cuisine.
[God he's actually excited to eat?? What a world.]
When we visit, you could take the opportunity to request something small like that. Your skepticism isn't unfounded though - many people don't get what they want. Some get other items entirely. Those who request their own innate abilities back often find them nerfed or not returned in full. It's entirely random.
No shoulder to shoulder touch, a room too large and spaced out, steam racing for the ceiling instead of an open stall window.
There's a peculiar comfort in the smell of fried noodles and vegetables. One he didn't expect to get hit with. Maruki said he would cook and by god, he's doing it every day. A trend he doesn't suspect will last much longer, once he realizes Vash truly is a moron who won't kick them out for not contributing.
He edges up to his tiptoes for a second - eyeing the meal in the pan before taking a-
Those half fogged glasses look ridiculous. Familiar. He blinks and sees a fluffy haired teen huddled over a curry pot in LeBlanc instead of -
A seat. He takes a seat across the kitchen bar - still watching.]
It smells like home. I thought I walked into a stall in Kichijoji when I came through those doors. It's impressive how you worked with the minimal items available at the market for our home cuisine.
[God he's actually excited to eat?? What a world.]
When we visit, you could take the opportunity to request something small like that. Your skepticism isn't unfounded though - many people don't get what they want. Some get other items entirely. Those who request their own innate abilities back often find them nerfed or not returned in full. It's entirely random.
[ It smells like home gets the widest, warmest, most satisfied grin out of Maruki. That's the goal. If they can't get back to their reality, then he'll do his best to approximate a bit of it here.
He gives it one last taste test and shrugs. The sauce is most definitely off, not even in the same realm as what he could make at home, but it'll do.
Two plates, the rest set aside for whenever Vash shows his face plus leftovers – he's still working out how to cook for more than just himself and keeps making way too much. He doesn't join Akechi at the bar, just leans against it from his side as they tuck in. ]
Hmm... I might try it. Even just a random assortment of staples would be nice. Although, then what's stopping me from just putting in an order at Ore no Beko or someplace...
[ A rhetorical question to belie his keen interest in the second part of what Akechi said. Maruki looks at him over the top of his glasses between bites. ]
Is that true, about the abilities? I can imagine how frustrating that is for those who have them, but I wonder... Surely that's not a random fluke of a temperamental crystal. That seems like deliberate intervention.
[ The choice to return powers, but some only up to a point, is an odd one. Perhaps Vaeros likes a challenge. Perhaps he's able to carefully measure out what will be enough to keep the requester complacent. Perhaps he just likes messing around. No telling.
But if Azathoth returns to him in anything less than the state they left things in, he doesn't know what he'll do. Maybe a bit of the concern shows on his openly expressive face. Maybe. ]
He gives it one last taste test and shrugs. The sauce is most definitely off, not even in the same realm as what he could make at home, but it'll do.
Two plates, the rest set aside for whenever Vash shows his face plus leftovers – he's still working out how to cook for more than just himself and keeps making way too much. He doesn't join Akechi at the bar, just leans against it from his side as they tuck in. ]
Hmm... I might try it. Even just a random assortment of staples would be nice. Although, then what's stopping me from just putting in an order at Ore no Beko or someplace...
[ A rhetorical question to belie his keen interest in the second part of what Akechi said. Maruki looks at him over the top of his glasses between bites. ]
Is that true, about the abilities? I can imagine how frustrating that is for those who have them, but I wonder... Surely that's not a random fluke of a temperamental crystal. That seems like deliberate intervention.
[ The choice to return powers, but some only up to a point, is an odd one. Perhaps Vaeros likes a challenge. Perhaps he's able to carefully measure out what will be enough to keep the requester complacent. Perhaps he just likes messing around. No telling.
But if Azathoth returns to him in anything less than the state they left things in, he doesn't know what he'll do. Maybe a bit of the concern shows on his openly expressive face. Maybe. ]
Or Triple Seven.
[A quiet afterthought added before his first bite. It's not the same, but it's close. Similar to what he would expect from a homecooked meal versus the generous seasonings of restaurants and-
Well, it is a homecooked meal. One accompanied with the same unfamiliar sensation it had the first day he walked into Maruki cooking for them.
It's all temporary anyway - Akechi's paid for his portion with the items set by the man's door. All he needs to do is eat and tie up any residual feelings into a neat box. Concentrate on his voice instead because he's talking - the words momentarily drowned out by his own hunger being appeased. It's good.
He mentally backtracks through chews - abilities, right. It's probably fascinating to someone without any and who's new to a world of people alight with strange powers.]
If I were to put myself in their shoes, it would be incredibly insulting over frustrating. Imagine having something that's yours ripped away, along with your agency and will, for the whims of another. [Chopsticks move to soak a piece of green in a pool of sauce - like he's trying to drown it.] I thought the same - deliberate, especially because of the potions that give you 'approved powers' - so to speak. Weak as they are in comparison to what I've heard others have.
[A deliberate pause - more noodles. Happy thoughts. Tokyo will be in their sights before long.]
At this point, given my experience with our temperamental captor, the logic used in any decision made by him, or the group behind him, is far beyond rational thought.
[A quiet afterthought added before his first bite. It's not the same, but it's close. Similar to what he would expect from a homecooked meal versus the generous seasonings of restaurants and-
Well, it is a homecooked meal. One accompanied with the same unfamiliar sensation it had the first day he walked into Maruki cooking for them.
It's all temporary anyway - Akechi's paid for his portion with the items set by the man's door. All he needs to do is eat and tie up any residual feelings into a neat box. Concentrate on his voice instead because he's talking - the words momentarily drowned out by his own hunger being appeased. It's good.
He mentally backtracks through chews - abilities, right. It's probably fascinating to someone without any and who's new to a world of people alight with strange powers.]
If I were to put myself in their shoes, it would be incredibly insulting over frustrating. Imagine having something that's yours ripped away, along with your agency and will, for the whims of another. [Chopsticks move to soak a piece of green in a pool of sauce - like he's trying to drown it.] I thought the same - deliberate, especially because of the potions that give you 'approved powers' - so to speak. Weak as they are in comparison to what I've heard others have.
[A deliberate pause - more noodles. Happy thoughts. Tokyo will be in their sights before long.]
At this point, given my experience with our temperamental captor, the logic used in any decision made by him, or the group behind him, is far beyond rational thought.
[ Insulting sounds closer to the truth for him as well, but he wasn't about to say it like that and incur any suspicion. Takuto Maruki, just a normal guy, PsiD.
Still, it's impossible not to consider. If he offers his shards to the crystal and Azathoth returns to him unable to affect any real change, what will it all have been for? Not just the work he's put in to make that exchange, but everything, his whole life–
He nods along to what Akechi's saying, affecting thoughtful calm as his own mind races. ]
I don't envy the people that happens to, as much as I might wish I had some offensive capability myself. The total loss of autonomy, even in powers that are inherent to them...
[ He shakes his head. Takes a bite, then another. Wishes he had bean sprouts here. Wishes he had a guarantee of Azathoth here. Then sighs and straightens up, an excitable smile starting to spread over his face. ]
Speaking of applying psience to the illogical! Was there somewhere in particular you wanted me to start?
[ A weather-worn, dogeared little journal pulled from his pocket. It isn't the notebook Akechi gave him, and it's already half full as he flips through the pages to find a blank section, just in case he needs to diagram something.
Real nerd hours: START! ]
Still, it's impossible not to consider. If he offers his shards to the crystal and Azathoth returns to him unable to affect any real change, what will it all have been for? Not just the work he's put in to make that exchange, but everything, his whole life–
He nods along to what Akechi's saying, affecting thoughtful calm as his own mind races. ]
I don't envy the people that happens to, as much as I might wish I had some offensive capability myself. The total loss of autonomy, even in powers that are inherent to them...
[ He shakes his head. Takes a bite, then another. Wishes he had bean sprouts here. Wishes he had a guarantee of Azathoth here. Then sighs and straightens up, an excitable smile starting to spread over his face. ]
Speaking of applying psience to the illogical! Was there somewhere in particular you wanted me to start?
[ A weather-worn, dogeared little journal pulled from his pocket. It isn't the notebook Akechi gave him, and it's already half full as he flips through the pages to find a blank section, just in case he needs to diagram something.
Real nerd hours: START! ]
Edited (oh my god sorry for all the edits never tag sneeby) 2024-05-20 07:38 (UTC)
[That's the question isn't it? One he mulls over with a lengthy chew. He can feign basic knowledge from casual research of dubious origin. The police have access to a world the general public doesn't. It's the minor details that are vital. In depeth research only someone who concentrated on the field would understand. Outside of the obvious desire to rip themselves free of this world, this is an opportunity to learn outside of Shido's gaze. Find ways to ruin that man's life in the most brutal way possible - distort and destroy his cognition beyond repair.
The man wants to talk and Akechi wants to listen. A win/win scenario that goes beyond their shared goal of leaving this shit world.
With a swallow, he drops his utensils to pat his pockets - a little notebook and pencil pulled from it.]
The collective unconscious is the obvious first subject. Assuming the world shifts due to the unconscious desires of those who dwell in it - it's obvious a single person's will cannot overcome such a thing. A handful versus the many aren't odds I enjoy dwelling on.
[Fingers curl under his chin - pencil wound tight in his grip.]
Is it possible because of the power over time and space, the collective unconscious is also made of up of desires of those who were here and those who have yet to arrive? Ones targeted for future capture. It makes me wonder - it would certainly explain the extensive hold over us.
[Hand down - back to the notebook. A flip through filled pages to find a blank one.]
Though despite my comment only a moment ago, I'm also fascinated by the fact we're all being controlled. There is a group behind the scenes. If a single person's will cannot overcome the collective of many enough to reshape this world out of existence or remove Vaeros from his so-called power, how can those few people do it? It's quite baffling. Does anything in your research touch on that?
[A beat. Then a laugh and-]
Those were rather specific questions weren't they? A general overview of collective unconscious is fine as well.
The man wants to talk and Akechi wants to listen. A win/win scenario that goes beyond their shared goal of leaving this shit world.
With a swallow, he drops his utensils to pat his pockets - a little notebook and pencil pulled from it.]
The collective unconscious is the obvious first subject. Assuming the world shifts due to the unconscious desires of those who dwell in it - it's obvious a single person's will cannot overcome such a thing. A handful versus the many aren't odds I enjoy dwelling on.
[Fingers curl under his chin - pencil wound tight in his grip.]
Is it possible because of the power over time and space, the collective unconscious is also made of up of desires of those who were here and those who have yet to arrive? Ones targeted for future capture. It makes me wonder - it would certainly explain the extensive hold over us.
[Hand down - back to the notebook. A flip through filled pages to find a blank one.]
Though despite my comment only a moment ago, I'm also fascinated by the fact we're all being controlled. There is a group behind the scenes. If a single person's will cannot overcome the collective of many enough to reshape this world out of existence or remove Vaeros from his so-called power, how can those few people do it? It's quite baffling. Does anything in your research touch on that?
[A beat. Then a laugh and-]
Those were rather specific questions weren't they? A general overview of collective unconscious is fine as well.
[ Is it his birthday and Christmas and White Day all rolled into one? Holy shit. Maruki can't help but look visibly pleased as Akechi speaks, so many solid concepts and good questions. This is fulfilling some deep and unattainable dream of being a professor.
Maruki knows full well that his food will begin its inexorable march toward being ice cold as soon as he gets started, so he finishes as much as he can while Akechi speaks and then sets it aside. Who cares about sustenance when you have rousing metaphysical discussion! On a related note, this is perhaps why he fainted a lot in grad school.
Regardless. ]
So, you touched on something I've been considering myself. Back in our reality, I would consider there to be three "planes," so to speak.
[ He draws them out on the paper, long thin rectangles stacked on top of one another. Between each one he draws arrows going both ways, and points to each layer from the top down as he explains. ]
There's our true reality, where we live out our daily lives. The cognitive reality, which impacts how we perceive the true reality. And the collective unconscious, where the very soul of all humanity resides. They can all influence one another in turn. Changes in the cognitive reality affect the true reality, as we both know, but I theorize that changes in the collective unconscious can do the same. This isn't proven by anything other than my own research, of course, and maybe I'm biased, but I do think there's merit to it.
[ He starts drawing multiple other layers of the cognitive reality alongside the original, filling up that middle section of the page with as many as he can. ]
But here in Somnius, with people pulled from potentially infinite different realities, we have potentially infinite cognitive planes. How you and I cognitively interact with the true reality – "true," of course, I'm only calling it that for the sake of simplicity but we both know that's not the case – is very different from, say, how Vash does. Our vastly different experiences, times in history, powers... Those all inherently affect our cognitions.
[ Very aware he's rambling, he tries to get to the point and taps the collective unconscious rectangle again. ]
Yet there is still only one collective unconscious that all of our different realities pull from. And that's what links us together, in my opinion. No matter how different I may be from someone from a much more fanciful reality, our souls draw from the same collective well. So then, to your point–
[ Maruki straightens up from where he's been bent over the notebook and laces his hands behind his head, stretching out his back and sighing before going on. ]
Why wouldn't the collective unconscious be able to draw from all realities, even those that belong to people who aren't currently here? It's not as if the different cognitive realities can be unlinked from the collective unconscious just because someone from them isn't physically present in the true reality. Based on everything so far, I'm more inclined to believe in limitless potential than limited. And if someone – a cabal of someones, perhaps – is tapped directly into that, they have a nearly incomprehensible amount of power over reality itself.
[ Pause. Deep breath. There is much more he could say to address Akechi's other points and questions, but he shuts up and spreads his hands wide, glad to take in whatever Akechi has to say to All Of That so far. ]
Maruki knows full well that his food will begin its inexorable march toward being ice cold as soon as he gets started, so he finishes as much as he can while Akechi speaks and then sets it aside. Who cares about sustenance when you have rousing metaphysical discussion! On a related note, this is perhaps why he fainted a lot in grad school.
Regardless. ]
So, you touched on something I've been considering myself. Back in our reality, I would consider there to be three "planes," so to speak.
[ He draws them out on the paper, long thin rectangles stacked on top of one another. Between each one he draws arrows going both ways, and points to each layer from the top down as he explains. ]
There's our true reality, where we live out our daily lives. The cognitive reality, which impacts how we perceive the true reality. And the collective unconscious, where the very soul of all humanity resides. They can all influence one another in turn. Changes in the cognitive reality affect the true reality, as we both know, but I theorize that changes in the collective unconscious can do the same. This isn't proven by anything other than my own research, of course, and maybe I'm biased, but I do think there's merit to it.
[ He starts drawing multiple other layers of the cognitive reality alongside the original, filling up that middle section of the page with as many as he can. ]
But here in Somnius, with people pulled from potentially infinite different realities, we have potentially infinite cognitive planes. How you and I cognitively interact with the true reality – "true," of course, I'm only calling it that for the sake of simplicity but we both know that's not the case – is very different from, say, how Vash does. Our vastly different experiences, times in history, powers... Those all inherently affect our cognitions.
[ Very aware he's rambling, he tries to get to the point and taps the collective unconscious rectangle again. ]
Yet there is still only one collective unconscious that all of our different realities pull from. And that's what links us together, in my opinion. No matter how different I may be from someone from a much more fanciful reality, our souls draw from the same collective well. So then, to your point–
[ Maruki straightens up from where he's been bent over the notebook and laces his hands behind his head, stretching out his back and sighing before going on. ]
Why wouldn't the collective unconscious be able to draw from all realities, even those that belong to people who aren't currently here? It's not as if the different cognitive realities can be unlinked from the collective unconscious just because someone from them isn't physically present in the true reality. Based on everything so far, I'm more inclined to believe in limitless potential than limited. And if someone – a cabal of someones, perhaps – is tapped directly into that, they have a nearly incomprehensible amount of power over reality itself.
[ Pause. Deep breath. There is much more he could say to address Akechi's other points and questions, but he shuts up and spreads his hands wide, glad to take in whatever Akechi has to say to All Of That so far. ]
Edited 2024-05-21 10:18 (UTC)
[The diagrams help - a method he was about to ride off as childish drivel for a kindergartener. He doesn't need pictures to understand a goddamn circle, but-
The words combined with the rapid movements of pen against paper, his own gaze attentive on every movement marked with every explanation of the concept.
This guy wasn't lying - it's on par with Wakaba Isshiki's own 'lost' papers, folded in the desk of some half assed, paid off scientist who isn't worth his weight in shit.
His body leans forward to assess the visual. Chaotic and unexplainable - it's the Metaverse. Too many aspects he could easily confirm in this moment, new problems to add into the mix, but that's not the act he's trying to convey.
Detective prince, budding interest in cognitive psience, a desire to learn to leave -
That's all.
And so he leans back, arms folding over his chest with that last thought poised his way. Mementos.
They need to go to Mementos.]
If that's the case, shouldn't it stand to reason this collective unconscious is accessible?
[Slow. Neutral. Thoughtful - as if he hasn't confirmed it for years.]
And if the cabal can access it, so can we. It's a matter of investigating what - perhaps attempting to alter the cognition of those here to 'make' a door form, so to speak. Offer the possibility and wait for an opening to appear or force it ourselves. If we all believe, then it must 'be'. If we all 'perceive' something, then it will appear. They are doing the same thing to us.
[Unleashing hell in his own turf, his own area of expertise - he can't wait to rip their captor's throat from their body.]
Although in asking this - the collective unconscious sounds equal and just, in the sense all are represented inside. The group controlling us included and all the puppets they've deemed enough to sate us.
[He flips the pages of his small notebook to a blank one - notes taken while Maruki was talking, his own thoughts hemming along the borders in small, clipped print.]
If we could find a true captor then the whole ordeal could be as simple as showing them we 'exist' where we shouldn't. A door opens that should be locked. A world opens that should be lost. My, it may be enough that we just 'appear' in front of them, when they thought they could stay hidden forever.
[Another note, smaller print - he avoids the word Mementos like a plague.]
I thought the dolls were useless, but it may be our simplest route to the true ruler of this place, if we can distort their cognition in our favor or break the world in an unexpected way.
The words combined with the rapid movements of pen against paper, his own gaze attentive on every movement marked with every explanation of the concept.
This guy wasn't lying - it's on par with Wakaba Isshiki's own 'lost' papers, folded in the desk of some half assed, paid off scientist who isn't worth his weight in shit.
His body leans forward to assess the visual. Chaotic and unexplainable - it's the Metaverse. Too many aspects he could easily confirm in this moment, new problems to add into the mix, but that's not the act he's trying to convey.
Detective prince, budding interest in cognitive psience, a desire to learn to leave -
That's all.
And so he leans back, arms folding over his chest with that last thought poised his way. Mementos.
They need to go to Mementos.]
If that's the case, shouldn't it stand to reason this collective unconscious is accessible?
[Slow. Neutral. Thoughtful - as if he hasn't confirmed it for years.]
And if the cabal can access it, so can we. It's a matter of investigating what - perhaps attempting to alter the cognition of those here to 'make' a door form, so to speak. Offer the possibility and wait for an opening to appear or force it ourselves. If we all believe, then it must 'be'. If we all 'perceive' something, then it will appear. They are doing the same thing to us.
[Unleashing hell in his own turf, his own area of expertise - he can't wait to rip their captor's throat from their body.]
Although in asking this - the collective unconscious sounds equal and just, in the sense all are represented inside. The group controlling us included and all the puppets they've deemed enough to sate us.
[He flips the pages of his small notebook to a blank one - notes taken while Maruki was talking, his own thoughts hemming along the borders in small, clipped print.]
If we could find a true captor then the whole ordeal could be as simple as showing them we 'exist' where we shouldn't. A door opens that should be locked. A world opens that should be lost. My, it may be enough that we just 'appear' in front of them, when they thought they could stay hidden forever.
[Another note, smaller print - he avoids the word Mementos like a plague.]
I thought the dolls were useless, but it may be our simplest route to the true ruler of this place, if we can distort their cognition in our favor or break the world in an unexpected way.
Edited (Worm) 2024-05-23 03:49 (UTC)
[ Maruki stares.
The whole time Akechi is speaking. He just– stares. Whatever is happening on his own face, he's not aware of it. It probably shifts between some mixture of disbelief, delight, and a tiny bit of the mania that comes from infodumping about one's special interest and receiving the same energy in return.
With the talk of doors unlocked and worlds revealed, he presses his hands together as if in prayer, fingertips resting against his lips. When Akechi wraps his thoughts up, he inhales deeply through his nose and holds both hands out, palms up. ]
Exactly. That's exactly it. That's what I've been trying to prove! You have no idea... It's difficult enough trying to convince anyone in academia that changing just one person's cognition is possible and even useful. Bring the collective unconscious into it and you might as well be asking for the moon– ah, sorry to bring her up!
[ The inadvertent little teasing joke is good, it stops him from derailing this to rant about the woes of trying to make a career as a researcher, all the bureaucracy of academic institutions and red tape and funding. God, you know what asshole cut off his funding?
No, it's definitely good that he doesn't go off on that tangent.
:) ]
But you're onto something. This might sound crazy, but I really do believe it's possible to access the cognitive world – I mean that literally. Tangibly.
[ The memory of Takamaki doubled over in exhaustion between the buildings, Akira and Sakamoto hovering nearby to offer their support.
It's possible. He knows it is. ]
So, as you said, it stands to reason the collective unconscious functions in the same way. Honestly, on my worst nights I wonder if we aren't already almost there, in some capacity. It would make sense, wouldn't it? If we truly live in dreams, whatever cognitive plane we exist on in this state can't be too far off from it. Maybe accessing it would be easier than we think.
[ Which definitely is starting to sound crazy, probably even to someone as seemingly open-minded about these esoteric concepts as Akechi is. If that ends up being a step too far, he can brush it off as Just A Theory; A Psience Theory.
Maruki leans an elbow on the counter again and grabs his pen, clicking it a few times as he turns to another blank page in his journal. ]
Ah, my apologies for the stupid question, but– dolls?
[ Big, sincere, earnestly curious eyes. Pen poised. Ready to write. What the fuck are you talking about, Akechi. ]
The whole time Akechi is speaking. He just– stares. Whatever is happening on his own face, he's not aware of it. It probably shifts between some mixture of disbelief, delight, and a tiny bit of the mania that comes from infodumping about one's special interest and receiving the same energy in return.
With the talk of doors unlocked and worlds revealed, he presses his hands together as if in prayer, fingertips resting against his lips. When Akechi wraps his thoughts up, he inhales deeply through his nose and holds both hands out, palms up. ]
Exactly. That's exactly it. That's what I've been trying to prove! You have no idea... It's difficult enough trying to convince anyone in academia that changing just one person's cognition is possible and even useful. Bring the collective unconscious into it and you might as well be asking for the moon– ah, sorry to bring her up!
[ The inadvertent little teasing joke is good, it stops him from derailing this to rant about the woes of trying to make a career as a researcher, all the bureaucracy of academic institutions and red tape and funding. God, you know what asshole cut off his funding?
No, it's definitely good that he doesn't go off on that tangent.
:) ]
But you're onto something. This might sound crazy, but I really do believe it's possible to access the cognitive world – I mean that literally. Tangibly.
[ The memory of Takamaki doubled over in exhaustion between the buildings, Akira and Sakamoto hovering nearby to offer their support.
It's possible. He knows it is. ]
So, as you said, it stands to reason the collective unconscious functions in the same way. Honestly, on my worst nights I wonder if we aren't already almost there, in some capacity. It would make sense, wouldn't it? If we truly live in dreams, whatever cognitive plane we exist on in this state can't be too far off from it. Maybe accessing it would be easier than we think.
[ Which definitely is starting to sound crazy, probably even to someone as seemingly open-minded about these esoteric concepts as Akechi is. If that ends up being a step too far, he can brush it off as Just A Theory; A Psience Theory.
Maruki leans an elbow on the counter again and grabs his pen, clicking it a few times as he turns to another blank page in his journal. ]
Ah, my apologies for the stupid question, but– dolls?
[ Big, sincere, earnestly curious eyes. Pen poised. Ready to write. What the fuck are you talking about, Akechi. ]
Edited (wtf html OKAY LAST EDIT JESUS) 2024-05-24 01:45 (UTC)
[It's laughable. If Akechi were alone in his condo, he wouldn't able to refrain from the irony in this man's words. The fight to prove the existence of an all too real plane of reality, that hits the news almost every single day between himself and the Phantom Thieves.
Or did, rather. For the both parties. A life meant to end, whether through a line of corpses or the natural loss of will that comes from losing their lynchpin.
He's about to add onto that, but he mentions the moon and Akechi can't help the way his face contorts into an expression of pure annoyance. A held back sigh, a contained eyeroll that only makes it to the side of his vision and-
We're back. It doesn't damper the discussion. Only tempers his expectations and gives an opportunity to think about how much to discuss. In Tokyo, he could either speak freely or not at all. The team-up with the Phantom Thieves was the first time he had to hold a delicate balance and even then, feigned ignorance worked.
He reaches for the slips of lined paper, erratic circles that remind him of Mementos. Taps the edges with his finger and-]
Maybe they don't overlap.
[Cautious - inquisitive. Like he's thinking out loud, in the moment.]
The collective unconscious - I mean. If you think about them being stacked, connected and layered-
[His own pencil etches into a newly blank page in his own journal, a seemingly nonsensical of blocks, paths, and lines. Only a few areas, connected and disconnected in bizarre ways.]
The reason I say this is because while the unconscious may be an unsolidified area, it's also just as likely that it takes a form similar to an experience most share. It feels like it could be right in front of our eyes. Maybe under our feet or perhaps in a mysterious, closed off labyrinth. A tree within a forest, so to speak.
[Back to the doll comment? He has some nasty words to say - all held back with a thoughtful hum.]
As for my doll comment, my apologies - I consider the Moon and Vaeros nothing more than figureheads at this point. Dolls. Puppets - whatever you wish to describe them as. That's a humble opinion. They are proposed to us as all knowing, all powerful entities. I doubt they're anything of the sort. If we can find a way to-
[Rip them apart. Break them. Tear them in half in front of the real pieces of shit hiding in the shadows-]
Use them to our advantage, that may be enough of a jolt to the status quo and the foundation of this world, plane, or reality to show us an answer to all these queries.
Or did, rather. For the both parties. A life meant to end, whether through a line of corpses or the natural loss of will that comes from losing their lynchpin.
He's about to add onto that, but he mentions the moon and Akechi can't help the way his face contorts into an expression of pure annoyance. A held back sigh, a contained eyeroll that only makes it to the side of his vision and-
We're back. It doesn't damper the discussion. Only tempers his expectations and gives an opportunity to think about how much to discuss. In Tokyo, he could either speak freely or not at all. The team-up with the Phantom Thieves was the first time he had to hold a delicate balance and even then, feigned ignorance worked.
He reaches for the slips of lined paper, erratic circles that remind him of Mementos. Taps the edges with his finger and-]
Maybe they don't overlap.
[Cautious - inquisitive. Like he's thinking out loud, in the moment.]
The collective unconscious - I mean. If you think about them being stacked, connected and layered-
[His own pencil etches into a newly blank page in his own journal, a seemingly nonsensical of blocks, paths, and lines. Only a few areas, connected and disconnected in bizarre ways.]
The reason I say this is because while the unconscious may be an unsolidified area, it's also just as likely that it takes a form similar to an experience most share. It feels like it could be right in front of our eyes. Maybe under our feet or perhaps in a mysterious, closed off labyrinth. A tree within a forest, so to speak.
[Back to the doll comment? He has some nasty words to say - all held back with a thoughtful hum.]
As for my doll comment, my apologies - I consider the Moon and Vaeros nothing more than figureheads at this point. Dolls. Puppets - whatever you wish to describe them as. That's a humble opinion. They are proposed to us as all knowing, all powerful entities. I doubt they're anything of the sort. If we can find a way to-
[Rip them apart. Break them. Tear them in half in front of the real pieces of shit hiding in the shadows-]
Use them to our advantage, that may be enough of a jolt to the status quo and the foundation of this world, plane, or reality to show us an answer to all these queries.
[ Maruki watches what he sketches with hawk-eyed, careful intent.
At first, he wants to push back against it. He's so used to the way he's always considered the collective unconscious – the way all cognitive psientists consider it, some great primordial soup pot of all human pathos. But is there any factual confirmation of that? Are the theories really even built on anything truly, unshakably solid? No, it's just the accepted way of things. And he's a researcher. He never takes anything at face value.
It feels so stupid, in hindsight.
And the diagram Akechi draws looks promising.
He's still staring at it even as Akechi prattles on, his own mind whirling with the possibility of layers on layers, winding corridors and twisted connections.
He needs Azathoth back. He needs him back so, so badly.
It's the explanation about the dolls that finally gets Maruki to lift his eyes. ]
That tracks. My thought from the very beginning was that any reality, especially one that contracts so many potentially volatile people into its existence, would not be so transparent and forthcoming about the true ruler in charge.
[ The very first dreamers who entered his cognitive Shujin office said it like such a simple fact. Vaeros, the ruler of this place. Why believe that on its face? After all– ]
It's the same in our comparatively mundane reality, isn't it?
[ He traces his fingers idly along the marble top of the bar, in meaningless patterns that reflect the jagged version of the collective unconscious that Akechi drew. ]
Tokyo alone is powered by people pulling strings in the shadows. To say nothing of the rest of the country, or the rest of the world. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. So, to your point, I agree. A place like this needs figureheads to maintain an illusion.
[ He leans his cheek into his other hand, elbow resting on the counter, and lets his gaze wander away from Akechi. ]
I don't know. Maybe it's as simple as altering just one cognition to get the dominoes to start to fall. Nothing is without consequence, after all.
At first, he wants to push back against it. He's so used to the way he's always considered the collective unconscious – the way all cognitive psientists consider it, some great primordial soup pot of all human pathos. But is there any factual confirmation of that? Are the theories really even built on anything truly, unshakably solid? No, it's just the accepted way of things. And he's a researcher. He never takes anything at face value.
It feels so stupid, in hindsight.
And the diagram Akechi draws looks promising.
He's still staring at it even as Akechi prattles on, his own mind whirling with the possibility of layers on layers, winding corridors and twisted connections.
He needs Azathoth back. He needs him back so, so badly.
It's the explanation about the dolls that finally gets Maruki to lift his eyes. ]
That tracks. My thought from the very beginning was that any reality, especially one that contracts so many potentially volatile people into its existence, would not be so transparent and forthcoming about the true ruler in charge.
[ The very first dreamers who entered his cognitive Shujin office said it like such a simple fact. Vaeros, the ruler of this place. Why believe that on its face? After all– ]
It's the same in our comparatively mundane reality, isn't it?
[ He traces his fingers idly along the marble top of the bar, in meaningless patterns that reflect the jagged version of the collective unconscious that Akechi drew. ]
Tokyo alone is powered by people pulling strings in the shadows. To say nothing of the rest of the country, or the rest of the world. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. So, to your point, I agree. A place like this needs figureheads to maintain an illusion.
[ He leans his cheek into his other hand, elbow resting on the counter, and lets his gaze wander away from Akechi. ]
I don't know. Maybe it's as simple as altering just one cognition to get the dominoes to start to fall. Nothing is without consequence, after all.
[Nothing else registers.
A familiar paranoia rises to the surface with that comment. Maruki, cognitive psience researcher. Wakaba Isshiki, cognitive psience researcher. One alive, one dead, and both have knowledge of a shady underbelly they shouldn't. It could be written off as a mindless comment about the state of society. From anyone else, Akechi would have. If Eren, Aubrey, Vash or any number of others made a passing statement about the illusory state of cities, even Tokyo specifically -
He wouldn't be staring at them with a wild eyed intensity he can't control. It takes one blink. Then two. Three before he breathes again and four to remind himself not to get comfortable.
Maruki is amenable, docile and gentle. Maruki is a threat. This is a threat. Shido is a threat. A soon to be gone threat. A series of slits against against throat and bulging, black spewing eyes from his fingers pressing too deep into-
He wonders if Maruki is on a list in Shido's office somewhere. If the second Akechi gets back, it won't be the thieves, but someone too close to the truth, with a map handed to him on a silver platter.
A desire to be acknowledged and praised acting as a death warrant to another.
He laughs. There's no joy in it. There's nothing in it, as he tears out the half assed Mementos sketch. Rolls it between his fingers to use as a stress ball.]
Everything has a consequence - every action, every word, every map.
[He forces another laugh out complete with a token smile - one that reaches his eyes in a practiced, precise way.]
This was enlightening, Maruki-san. Perhaps we should call it a night and think about the discussion we had. Your knowledge is an asset and has opened my eyes to a different perspective that I need time to assess.
A familiar paranoia rises to the surface with that comment. Maruki, cognitive psience researcher. Wakaba Isshiki, cognitive psience researcher. One alive, one dead, and both have knowledge of a shady underbelly they shouldn't. It could be written off as a mindless comment about the state of society. From anyone else, Akechi would have. If Eren, Aubrey, Vash or any number of others made a passing statement about the illusory state of cities, even Tokyo specifically -
He wouldn't be staring at them with a wild eyed intensity he can't control. It takes one blink. Then two. Three before he breathes again and four to remind himself not to get comfortable.
Maruki is amenable, docile and gentle. Maruki is a threat. This is a threat. Shido is a threat. A soon to be gone threat. A series of slits against against throat and bulging, black spewing eyes from his fingers pressing too deep into-
He wonders if Maruki is on a list in Shido's office somewhere. If the second Akechi gets back, it won't be the thieves, but someone too close to the truth, with a map handed to him on a silver platter.
A desire to be acknowledged and praised acting as a death warrant to another.
He laughs. There's no joy in it. There's nothing in it, as he tears out the half assed Mementos sketch. Rolls it between his fingers to use as a stress ball.]
Everything has a consequence - every action, every word, every map.
[He forces another laugh out complete with a token smile - one that reaches his eyes in a practiced, precise way.]
This was enlightening, Maruki-san. Perhaps we should call it a night and think about the discussion we had. Your knowledge is an asset and has opened my eyes to a different perspective that I need time to assess.
Edited 2024-05-28 03:39 (UTC)
[ He's so in his own head about all of this, it doesn't register when Akechi's breath catches and holds. Maruki doesn't look at him until the laugh jolts him out of his own thoughtful reverie, and when he does, he winces apologetically. ]
Of course. I'm sorry, I know I tend to go off into left field when I get started on these topics.
[ He straightens up, closes his own journal and loops the leather cord around it again. Takes both of their empty plates to the sink, turns on the water to let it get hot as he packages up the leftovers to go in the fridge. Going through the motions as he speaks. ]
I feel the same. I never expected to be able to discuss cognitive psience at all here, let alone at the level you understand it on. Your perspective is invaluable, and you've given me a lot to think about.
[ Sleeves rolled up, a genuine smile tossed over his shoulder back at Akechi, bright and warm. ]
Any time you want to regroup and discuss it further, you only have to say the word. I'm always available to you.
Of course. I'm sorry, I know I tend to go off into left field when I get started on these topics.
[ He straightens up, closes his own journal and loops the leather cord around it again. Takes both of their empty plates to the sink, turns on the water to let it get hot as he packages up the leftovers to go in the fridge. Going through the motions as he speaks. ]
I feel the same. I never expected to be able to discuss cognitive psience at all here, let alone at the level you understand it on. Your perspective is invaluable, and you've given me a lot to think about.
[ Sleeves rolled up, a genuine smile tossed over his shoulder back at Akechi, bright and warm. ]
Any time you want to regroup and discuss it further, you only have to say the word. I'm always available to you.
[ He gives up, tucks his phone away again, closes his eyes.
Three minutes pass while that sinks in.
His eyes fly open and he sits straight up in bed, typing furiously. ]
Scow?
What the hell is a scow???
What's the etymology of that????
Three minutes pass while that sinks in.
His eyes fly open and he sits straight up in bed, typing furiously. ]
Scow?
What the hell is a scow???
What's the etymology of that????
Edited 2024-05-22 15:25 (UTC)
Oh! Thank you!
If you could please get more eggs, that would be great. I took most of ours over to Maki-san's house to try to teach her how to make tomato egg... it didn't go well...
Buy whatever you'd like me to make! I'm open to anything.
If you could please get more eggs, that would be great. I took most of ours over to Maki-san's house to try to teach her how to make tomato egg... it didn't go well...
Buy whatever you'd like me to make! I'm open to anything.
[Why did he take THEIR EGGS to HER HOUSE?? Of all people to share shit with. He's so irritated.]
It didn't? I'm surprised. She seems well suited to beat eggs. That's a compliment, of course. [It's not.]
But I will grab some. As for meals, I don't have any preference. Whatever you want to make is fine with me.
It didn't? I'm surprised. She seems well suited to beat eggs. That's a compliment, of course. [It's not.]
But I will grab some. As for meals, I don't have any preference. Whatever you want to make is fine with me.
[ WHEN WILL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE LET HIM TAKE CARE OF THEM ]
Vash is somehow even less forthcoming about his preferences than you are...
Fine. Please also pick up some potatoes, a couple carrots and ears of corn, and a cucumber if they have them. I'll make potato salad with dinner tonight.
Vash is somehow even less forthcoming about his preferences than you are...
Fine. Please also pick up some potatoes, a couple carrots and ears of corn, and a cucumber if they have them. I'll make potato salad with dinner tonight.
[THANK YOU was that so hard?? God. No good deed, etc etc.]
Thank you. I'll grab what I can.
To be frank, I'm not trying to be obstinate. I truly have no preference. Even at home, I only ate instant meals for dinner.
Though I suppose it's a burden to request you both come up with the meals and make them...
Maybe we should get a cookbook from the library for ideas.
Thank you. I'll grab what I can.
To be frank, I'm not trying to be obstinate. I truly have no preference. Even at home, I only ate instant meals for dinner.
Though I suppose it's a burden to request you both come up with the meals and make them...
Maybe we should get a cookbook from the library for ideas.
Oh, no! Please don't misunderstand. It's not a burden at all, I enjoy doing both. I'd just like to treat you two if I can, that's all.
Zazie is comparatively easy to cater to. I recently taught them what sausage is.
A cookbook wouldn't go amiss, though! How well-stocked is the library? I haven't been yet.
Zazie is comparatively easy to cater to. I recently taught them what sausage is.
A cookbook wouldn't go amiss, though! How well-stocked is the library? I haven't been yet.
Did you? I'm sure they liked it. Don't let them take it into their closets though.
[He doesn't really know?? How?? They eat??? But somehow the thought of festering raw closet sausage makes him want to gag.]
It's got a variety of books from different worlds. The genre assortment is vast. You won't be bored should you decide to pay the place a visit. Please keep in mind it's nowhere near as organized as the libraries we're used to though.
[He doesn't really know?? How?? They eat??? But somehow the thought of festering raw closet sausage makes him want to gag.]
It's got a variety of books from different worlds. The genre assortment is vast. You won't be bored should you decide to pay the place a visit. Please keep in mind it's nowhere near as organized as the libraries we're used to though.
[ yeah yeah he'll clean the closet or whatever YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THIS INFORMATION AND EXPECT HIM TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT MEATS ]
That is... beyond strange, even for a cognitive reality. Books, of all things. That's not nothing.
Have you found any from our Tokyo?
That is... beyond strange, even for a cognitive reality. Books, of all things. That's not nothing.
Have you found any from our Tokyo?
[Yeah well he remembers. Now he's gonna check the closets when he gets home - sorry Zazie. No meat pits.]
Our world, yes. Our Tokyo? Impossible to say. There are many titles I recognize and many more that I don't.
It's definitely odd. I've thought so from the moment I've arrived, so I'm happy to see you've reached the same conclusion.
My question is more - why does it stop at books? If the collective unconscious is able to be represented in this form, why do we live in a hovel of a town with no amenities or items from other worlds? It's baffling it ends at the library.
Our world, yes. Our Tokyo? Impossible to say. There are many titles I recognize and many more that I don't.
It's definitely odd. I've thought so from the moment I've arrived, so I'm happy to see you've reached the same conclusion.
My question is more - why does it stop at books? If the collective unconscious is able to be represented in this form, why do we live in a hovel of a town with no amenities or items from other worlds? It's baffling it ends at the library.
I'm with you there.
Books... Here's my initial thought. Books would be uniquely dangerous objects to allow to exist in a place like this, with people from so many other realities. Have you met men by the name of Loki, or Puck? Both come from their own unique realities, but they're represented in mythologies in ours - and, I assume, in many others. When I met them in my dreams, very early on... that was when I first began considering the role of the collective unconscious here.
So then, what happens if a person here whose very existence draws from a figure in the collective unconscious encounters a book from someone else's world that they appear in, even if only as a representation?
Perhaps nothing. I'm fully aware that I may be overthinking things. It wouldn't be the first time. But there is a liability there, a manipulation within a manipulation, so it shocks me that our captors would risk it.
And then, to your point: Why not anything else? Why only the riskiest possible cognitions of objects from our realities? There has to be a reason for it.
It's a strange game they're playing. I don't enjoy being a part of it.
Sorry for writing so much. That threw me. I'll need to visit the library soon.
Books... Here's my initial thought. Books would be uniquely dangerous objects to allow to exist in a place like this, with people from so many other realities. Have you met men by the name of Loki, or Puck? Both come from their own unique realities, but they're represented in mythologies in ours - and, I assume, in many others. When I met them in my dreams, very early on... that was when I first began considering the role of the collective unconscious here.
So then, what happens if a person here whose very existence draws from a figure in the collective unconscious encounters a book from someone else's world that they appear in, even if only as a representation?
Perhaps nothing. I'm fully aware that I may be overthinking things. It wouldn't be the first time. But there is a liability there, a manipulation within a manipulation, so it shocks me that our captors would risk it.
And then, to your point: Why not anything else? Why only the riskiest possible cognitions of objects from our realities? There has to be a reason for it.
It's a strange game they're playing. I don't enjoy being a part of it.
Sorry for writing so much. That threw me. I'll need to visit the library soon.
Edited (SORRY I REREAD AND REALIZE HOW MUCH I REPEAT MYSELF AS ALWAYS) 2024-05-26 00:25 (UTC)
[He didn't consider that - manipulation within manipulation, mythologies turned real. It's less jarring knowing what lies in Mementos and palaces - figures, gods, and holy representations are easily found.
But here-]
No need to apologize - you provided a good argument. I have little to add on the matter at this time, though it's not for lack of thought over it.
I think we can reasonably assume this 'game' ends with someone, or a group, gaining power via our exploitation. While not proven, that tends to be the motive in most scenarios. Something about us here helps them, but I know we've spoken about this before. I won't rehash old points.
However-
Maybe the library is an unintentional consequence to someone trying to usurp. Find a way to break the hold the main group has and use use to gain power themselves.
Wouldn't that be an interesting development?
That's a bit outlandish given our lack of evidence though.
[Hey, he found a carrot though!!! Score. Don't give this shit to Maki.]
But here-]
No need to apologize - you provided a good argument. I have little to add on the matter at this time, though it's not for lack of thought over it.
I think we can reasonably assume this 'game' ends with someone, or a group, gaining power via our exploitation. While not proven, that tends to be the motive in most scenarios. Something about us here helps them, but I know we've spoken about this before. I won't rehash old points.
However-
Maybe the library is an unintentional consequence to someone trying to usurp. Find a way to break the hold the main group has and use use to gain power themselves.
Wouldn't that be an interesting development?
That's a bit outlandish given our lack of evidence though.
[Hey, he found a carrot though!!! Score. Don't give this shit to Maki.]
Oh, I don't doubt it. There's a lot of set dressing that can obfuscate the core truth, but isn't everything about a desire for power, in the end?
[ lol. ]
Hey, hypotheses exist to be tested. Hah, I just realized that's an interesting way our professions diverge... As a detective, you gather the evidence and draw conclusions as you go. As a researcher, I think of a conclusion that could possibly be reached and work to see if there's evidence for it.
Anyhow, what I meant to say is that it would be an interesting development. Do you know if the library was started by the creatures here, or by our fellow captives? If not, I can find out when I go.
[ lol. ]
Hey, hypotheses exist to be tested. Hah, I just realized that's an interesting way our professions diverge... As a detective, you gather the evidence and draw conclusions as you go. As a researcher, I think of a conclusion that could possibly be reached and work to see if there's evidence for it.
Anyhow, what I meant to say is that it would be an interesting development. Do you know if the library was started by the creatures here, or by our fellow captives? If not, I can find out when I go.
Then between the two of us, I'm certain we will find the truth. Our goals align and our direction is the same, even if our paths slightly differ.
To my current knowledge, the library has always been here. At one point, a group was upholding it to stricter standards than now in terms of organization. The books seem to appear at random.
[Potato - he found you! Bless.]
Cabbage is on sale - should I get one?
To my current knowledge, the library has always been here. At one point, a group was upholding it to stricter standards than now in terms of organization. The books seem to appear at random.
[Potato - he found you! Bless.]
Cabbage is on sale - should I get one?
[This is probably the second time ever he's visited this grocery area. Tofu? Who knows. He's shocked there's a fresh cabbage in front of him.]
No, though I wonder if they have an alternative made from an item other than soy.
I received green milk from the labyrinth. Obviously, I didn't drink it, but it makes me wonder if there could be green or blue tofu hidden somewhere in this market. We may need to adjust our expectations to find the items we want.
No, though I wonder if they have an alternative made from an item other than soy.
I received green milk from the labyrinth. Obviously, I didn't drink it, but it makes me wonder if there could be green or blue tofu hidden somewhere in this market. We may need to adjust our expectations to find the items we want.
A different detective here told me that he was in a room in the labyrinth made entirely out of cheese and had to eat his way out. I'm sensing a theme.
Well. Yuck! Maybe I'll learn to make my own tofu then.
[ ... ]
You really only ate instant meals back home? There was no one to cook for you?
Well. Yuck! Maybe I'll learn to make my own tofu then.
[ ... ]
You really only ate instant meals back home? There was no one to cook for you?
[Now he's grateful for cereal. All that cheese? Disgusting.]
Maybe this place has a vendetta against detectives in particular. I would say I'm joking, but I suppose I'll confirm that during the next exploration.
And no, I live alone and have for some time. My schedule is so busy between school, work and media appearances that those became a necessary staple. They work well enough.
Maybe this place has a vendetta against detectives in particular. I would say I'm joking, but I suppose I'll confirm that during the next exploration.
And no, I live alone and have for some time. My schedule is so busy between school, work and media appearances that those became a necessary staple. They work well enough.
[ It makes sense, and it doesn't. Detective Prince or not, Akechi was still a high school student. Living alone for some time at that age isn't entirely unheard of, but it is strange.
He won't press for more information. The refreshing thing about having him as a friend rather than a patient is not needing to do that. But it's noted. ]
Maybe this is presumptuous, but... Could I join you during the next exploration? I'm eager to see it myself.
He won't press for more information. The refreshing thing about having him as a friend rather than a patient is not needing to do that. But it's noted. ]
Maybe this is presumptuous, but... Could I join you during the next exploration? I'm eager to see it myself.
[A GUN. HIS GUN. HIS LOKI. When he can get THEM BACK.]
A knife, for the time being. It was suitable for defense last month. You should find something just as versatile and functional that you're comfortable with.
Of course, I have the training between us. Yours would only need to be used in the event of my incapacitation or if we're separated.
Let's hope that doesn't happen.
A knife, for the time being. It was suitable for defense last month. You should find something just as versatile and functional that you're comfortable with.
Of course, I have the training between us. Yours would only need to be used in the event of my incapacitation or if we're separated.
Let's hope that doesn't happen.
Edited 2024-05-26 03:55 (UTC)
[ He would rather die than have to use a knife, or anything else, even in self-defense, but apparently pacifism suffers a swift and quiet death in Somnius. ]
I appreciate that more than I can say, Akechi-kun. But I don't intend to be a burden for you to carry through whatever we encounter, so I'll be sure to figure something out.
Have you gotten injured in other explorations you've done?
I appreciate that more than I can say, Akechi-kun. But I don't intend to be a burden for you to carry through whatever we encounter, so I'll be sure to figure something out.
Have you gotten injured in other explorations you've done?
Edited 2024-05-26 04:05 (UTC)
I know you will. It's not a concern I have.
While I would like to tell you otherwise - Yes. Though it was from the recent dungeon exploration and during the attack on the town, not the labyrinth.
No injuries were life threatening and I was healed at the clinic a short time after returning.
While I would like to tell you otherwise - Yes. Though it was from the recent dungeon exploration and during the attack on the town, not the labyrinth.
No injuries were life threatening and I was healed at the clinic a short time after returning.
[Wow, hilarious. Despite how funny that is, he only lets out a little chuckle. Sorry cabbage man, he'll move in a second.]
Thank you for your offer and concern over the matter.
It may not come to that at all. Imagine, all this preparation only for us to land in a room full of okonomiyaki to eat out of.
Thank you for your offer and concern over the matter.
It may not come to that at all. Imagine, all this preparation only for us to land in a room full of okonomiyaki to eat out of.
That was the last meal I really splurged on before my job ended and money ran tight again. It was so incredible that I wouldn't want to even attempt to recreate it here. Nothing could compare.
When we make it back to our reality, I'd gladly treat you. I have a feeling we'll have more than earned it.
Although I guess it's a little ridiculous to plan for something like that... Call it a rain check for a hopeful future.
When we make it back to our reality, I'd gladly treat you. I have a feeling we'll have more than earned it.
Although I guess it's a little ridiculous to plan for something like that... Call it a rain check for a hopeful future.
[Thinking about the future - when they slink back to reality, Maruki will be nothing more than a faded memory of a shitty time in some rural nightmares. He doubts they'll cross paths again. Could care less if they did, but-]
A rain check it is.
Though given what you said, perhaps I should be the one to treat you. It's the least I could do given all the meals you've tried to recreate here.
I can already predict what you'll say to that offer, so I have a proposition. It's a simple one.
When we get back to reality, we'll play a game - the winner decides who pays for the meal.
A rain check it is.
Though given what you said, perhaps I should be the one to treat you. It's the least I could do given all the meals you've tried to recreate here.
I can already predict what you'll say to that offer, so I have a proposition. It's a simple one.
When we get back to reality, we'll play a game - the winner decides who pays for the meal.
Being able to read people is a requirement for detectives too.
I propose three options - billiards, darts or chess. Of course, these are only suggestions. I enjoy learning new games, so if you have one in mind I'm willing to try it out.
I propose three options - billiards, darts or chess. Of course, these are only suggestions. I enjoy learning new games, so if you have one in mind I'm willing to try it out.
[The irony isn't lost on him. In their easily fallen into routine, upheld without effort, the city comes up more often than it doesn't. Missed food, stores, different areas neither had explored on their own. Casual. Nostalgic. Too grossly sentimental for Akechi, but a welcome topic all the same.
How kind of this goddamn shithole to give them a taste of it again.
In a way, he's happy. The monsters are shadows - a great value reaper in disguise. They're large - bigger than anything he ever fought in a palace, but there's an unshakeable thrill in new danger, new battles, and from being too long settled from the destruction in last month's dungeon.
No, he's having a great time, except-
The Maruki situation. A gross representation of a teammate. An appearance needs to be kept, even as short bursts of muffled cackles escape him when a particularly volatile enemy falls. Robin Hood made an appearance immediately - megidola and kouga don't make quick work of creatures - sometimes they don't even die, but the attacks manage to knock down, distract, kill, on occasion. Robin Hood is weak. Weaker than normal. It pisses him off.
The Maruki situation is unfortunate. Keeps him from raining havoc across this amalgamation of a city, from blowing up buildings (he only blew up one to block their path) to throwing himself into every battle possible. It's image, appearance and maintaining the vision of a perfect prince.
And princes don't let people fall into danger or die under the heel of a monster. Princes don't seek volatility and rage against monsters - they assess, fight when necessary and back off.
It's so goddamn annoying.
He maintains his composure the whole time - surprise and concern feigned at critical moments, though the words never reach his wild eyes. Manic energy crushed - buried and trampled with nails dug into his palms, steady breathing, staring at Maruki as a reminder this isn't meant to be fun. That the blood coating his palms, splattering his outfit, stuck on the edges of his hair isn't a reward. At a certain point, it's a mixture of his own injuries and monster viscera. He doesn't really care. Nothing hurts, even as he plucks his shirt away from a gaping slash on his arm. Like he's trying to peel water soaked clothes from skin.
The first day ends with them in a pseudo-safe room, stuck between two aisles of unknown snacks, unorganized and strewn around. The only remaining light from a barely functioning drink shelf nearby. The earthquake-esque sensation of creatures who feel nearby, but aren't. The Maruki situation continues to be a baffling ordeal even now. Especially now.]
Well-
[He starts. They've barely had room to breathe since walking through that door, let alone hold a solid conversation.]
Perhaps you should bring a bigger knife next time. [A pause. He leans against a shelf of potato chips - the crunch overbearing under his weight.] This was certainly unexpected.
How kind of this goddamn shithole to give them a taste of it again.
In a way, he's happy. The monsters are shadows - a great value reaper in disguise. They're large - bigger than anything he ever fought in a palace, but there's an unshakeable thrill in new danger, new battles, and from being too long settled from the destruction in last month's dungeon.
No, he's having a great time, except-
The Maruki situation. A gross representation of a teammate. An appearance needs to be kept, even as short bursts of muffled cackles escape him when a particularly volatile enemy falls. Robin Hood made an appearance immediately - megidola and kouga don't make quick work of creatures - sometimes they don't even die, but the attacks manage to knock down, distract, kill, on occasion. Robin Hood is weak. Weaker than normal. It pisses him off.
The Maruki situation is unfortunate. Keeps him from raining havoc across this amalgamation of a city, from blowing up buildings (he only blew up one to block their path) to throwing himself into every battle possible. It's image, appearance and maintaining the vision of a perfect prince.
And princes don't let people fall into danger or die under the heel of a monster. Princes don't seek volatility and rage against monsters - they assess, fight when necessary and back off.
It's so goddamn annoying.
He maintains his composure the whole time - surprise and concern feigned at critical moments, though the words never reach his wild eyes. Manic energy crushed - buried and trampled with nails dug into his palms, steady breathing, staring at Maruki as a reminder this isn't meant to be fun. That the blood coating his palms, splattering his outfit, stuck on the edges of his hair isn't a reward. At a certain point, it's a mixture of his own injuries and monster viscera. He doesn't really care. Nothing hurts, even as he plucks his shirt away from a gaping slash on his arm. Like he's trying to peel water soaked clothes from skin.
The first day ends with them in a pseudo-safe room, stuck between two aisles of unknown snacks, unorganized and strewn around. The only remaining light from a barely functioning drink shelf nearby. The earthquake-esque sensation of creatures who feel nearby, but aren't. The Maruki situation continues to be a baffling ordeal even now. Especially now.]
Well-
[He starts. They've barely had room to breathe since walking through that door, let alone hold a solid conversation.]
Perhaps you should bring a bigger knife next time. [A pause. He leans against a shelf of potato chips - the crunch overbearing under his weight.] This was certainly unexpected.
[ There is only so long one can exist in a state of sustained fear and anxiety.
The sight of the city made them both laugh at first, sardonic and paranoid in their disbelief that the labyrinth would so conveniently show them something they'd been openly yearning for – and that lasted all of thirty seconds.
Since then, Maruki has experienced more action than ever in his relatively uneventful life. Running for his life despite the burning in his lungs and permanent stitch in his side and desperately searching for a safe haven is one thing, but watching Akechi and Robin Hood destroy these monsters is another thing entirely.
He hasn't had any ability to process it. At some point throughout the day, the constantly escalating fear for their lives leveled out into a sort of mental numbness. All of his panic and confusion dulled down to only the most basic of instincts: Escape danger, find shelter, survive.
It's only here, now, safe in a fucking convenience store of all places, that the fog of fight or flight clears from his mind and everything he's witnessed begins to slowly, slowly sink in.
He stares at Akechi, breathing hard in the silence of the abandoned shop. The Detective Prince who's anything but. Maruki has already seen tiny glimpses of his true personality here and there, just little slips from being in such close proximity to one another for nearly a month. Nothing major. Nothing out of line with an ordinary high schooler from Tokyo, celebrity status or not. But a phenomenal power over a creature of his own, a fire in his eyes that couldn't be completely smothered despite his best efforts – that's new.
It doesn't scare him. It only intrigues him further.
He drops the dagger in question and his satchel, scrubs both hands over his face and through his hair, laughing helplessly. Even though he couldn't help in a fight, he couldn't exactly entirely escape its consequences either – there's blood splattered across his clothes, his shoes, even his face. This is so deeply surreal, what else can he do but laugh? ]
Yeah. Next time I'll be sure to bring my grenade launcher. Good god.
[ Then he drops his hands, adjusts his glasses, and stoops back down to pull the first aid kit from his satchel. ]
Take a seat. You're bleeding.
The sight of the city made them both laugh at first, sardonic and paranoid in their disbelief that the labyrinth would so conveniently show them something they'd been openly yearning for – and that lasted all of thirty seconds.
Since then, Maruki has experienced more action than ever in his relatively uneventful life. Running for his life despite the burning in his lungs and permanent stitch in his side and desperately searching for a safe haven is one thing, but watching Akechi and Robin Hood destroy these monsters is another thing entirely.
He hasn't had any ability to process it. At some point throughout the day, the constantly escalating fear for their lives leveled out into a sort of mental numbness. All of his panic and confusion dulled down to only the most basic of instincts: Escape danger, find shelter, survive.
It's only here, now, safe in a fucking convenience store of all places, that the fog of fight or flight clears from his mind and everything he's witnessed begins to slowly, slowly sink in.
He stares at Akechi, breathing hard in the silence of the abandoned shop. The Detective Prince who's anything but. Maruki has already seen tiny glimpses of his true personality here and there, just little slips from being in such close proximity to one another for nearly a month. Nothing major. Nothing out of line with an ordinary high schooler from Tokyo, celebrity status or not. But a phenomenal power over a creature of his own, a fire in his eyes that couldn't be completely smothered despite his best efforts – that's new.
It doesn't scare him. It only intrigues him further.
He drops the dagger in question and his satchel, scrubs both hands over his face and through his hair, laughing helplessly. Even though he couldn't help in a fight, he couldn't exactly entirely escape its consequences either – there's blood splattered across his clothes, his shoes, even his face. This is so deeply surreal, what else can he do but laugh? ]
Yeah. Next time I'll be sure to bring my grenade launcher. Good god.
[ Then he drops his hands, adjusts his glasses, and stoops back down to pull the first aid kit from his satchel. ]
Take a seat. You're bleeding.
Edited 2024-05-28 02:30 (UTC)
Could you manage to carry that? Not to sound rude, but...
[A thought flickers to Haru - Maruki's lighthearted statement closer to reality than he realizes, when it comes to matters of the Metaverse. The satchel turns into a grenade launcher when he blinks and-
Just as fast, it's gone. It's not even funny - too out of the norm for this mild mannered therapist, who's holding his own in unexpected manner. No panic. No overwhelming stress for Akechi to console and damper. Navigating his own mental gymnastics and delicate balance during battle is a simple task with no one else to worry about.
To his credit, Maruki knows when to hide and-
Help, something he doesn't need. The adrenaline pounding blood in his ears, familiar stings over his body, Robin Hood a blooming, persistent reminder of more battles he can fight. It's not Loki, but it works. Still strong enough to deal with pitiful shadows.
He waves a hand, pinprick dots of mixed blood hitting the tile with it. Dried on that side. His other arm feels sticky. Something swiped his ankle earlier and-
No movement to sit. He continues to stand, leaning, and folds both hands atop one another against his stomach for comfortable idling.]
If you slide it over, I'll take care of myself. I'm accustomed to it and the injuries are minor. There's no need for both of us to stay awake if there's an opportunity to rest. You should take advantage.
[A thought flickers to Haru - Maruki's lighthearted statement closer to reality than he realizes, when it comes to matters of the Metaverse. The satchel turns into a grenade launcher when he blinks and-
Just as fast, it's gone. It's not even funny - too out of the norm for this mild mannered therapist, who's holding his own in unexpected manner. No panic. No overwhelming stress for Akechi to console and damper. Navigating his own mental gymnastics and delicate balance during battle is a simple task with no one else to worry about.
To his credit, Maruki knows when to hide and-
Help, something he doesn't need. The adrenaline pounding blood in his ears, familiar stings over his body, Robin Hood a blooming, persistent reminder of more battles he can fight. It's not Loki, but it works. Still strong enough to deal with pitiful shadows.
He waves a hand, pinprick dots of mixed blood hitting the tile with it. Dried on that side. His other arm feels sticky. Something swiped his ankle earlier and-
No movement to sit. He continues to stand, leaning, and folds both hands atop one another against his stomach for comfortable idling.]
If you slide it over, I'll take care of myself. I'm accustomed to it and the injuries are minor. There's no need for both of us to stay awake if there's an opportunity to rest. You should take advantage.
[ Maruki picks his head up from squinting through the dim at the contents of the kit to look up at him from the floor, unimpressed, mouth pressed into a thin line. ]
I told you I'm aware of my purpose here, didn't I?
[ He can't fight. He can run, dodge, hide – and help. The only thing he's ever known how to do.
Fine. If Akechi won't sit, then he'll stand. His bent knee cracks audibly as he does – irritating that even after a day of activity he's still as stiff and tense as ever, if not worse. ]
I can't rest yet. Far too much adrenaline. I could bore you to death with a lecture about cortisol spikes.
[ Truthfully, he doesn't know if he'll be able to rest at all. Now that imminent danger isn't breathing down their necks, seven stories high and ripped straight from a sci-fi movie he wouldn't have had time to see back home, his mind is beginning to work overtime again.
As he speaks, he crosses over to take a bottle of lukewarm water off the drink shelf and shoves aside some of the chip bags to rest the kit on the shelf Akechi leans on. Brows raised at Akechi, he gestures to the sleeve soaked in fresh, unstaunched blood. ]
Arm, please. We can argue for the rest of the night if you'd like, but I'm afraid you'll find I'm more stubborn than I've shown you yet.
I told you I'm aware of my purpose here, didn't I?
[ He can't fight. He can run, dodge, hide – and help. The only thing he's ever known how to do.
Fine. If Akechi won't sit, then he'll stand. His bent knee cracks audibly as he does – irritating that even after a day of activity he's still as stiff and tense as ever, if not worse. ]
I can't rest yet. Far too much adrenaline. I could bore you to death with a lecture about cortisol spikes.
[ Truthfully, he doesn't know if he'll be able to rest at all. Now that imminent danger isn't breathing down their necks, seven stories high and ripped straight from a sci-fi movie he wouldn't have had time to see back home, his mind is beginning to work overtime again.
As he speaks, he crosses over to take a bottle of lukewarm water off the drink shelf and shoves aside some of the chip bags to rest the kit on the shelf Akechi leans on. Brows raised at Akechi, he gestures to the sleeve soaked in fresh, unstaunched blood. ]
Arm, please. We can argue for the rest of the night if you'd like, but I'm afraid you'll find I'm more stubborn than I've shown you yet.
[A battle of obstinance and will all but guarantees victory for Akechi. That much he's assured of, as he chooses to temporarily ignore Maruki. His eyes shift to the opposite wall and the shuffling chips and drinks are zoned out. Really, he could just take the damn kit.
He isn't a child. There's no need to baby him - he's not some sobbing client in a chair lamenting every goddamn woe or gaping arm wound.
Liquid starts to pool in the cuff of his sleeve. He doesn't make a single movement, outside of shifting his weight to the uninjured ankle.
The issue is he can predict this stupid ass conversation - a back and forth that will have Akechi relenting anyway because he's playing the same act as he did with the Phantom Thieves. Licking wounds in safe rooms, sharing items and supplies, tending different injuries as a goddamn group activity.
He can already hear Maruki rebuke any comments made. The annoying circular conversation that will inevitably have Akechi rolling up his sleeve because that's the compliant front he's required to play. An irritating thought that bothers him more than his dwindling stamina and lack of Loki.]
While I appreciate your insistence on the matter, you don't need to coddle me over scrapes. I assure you I'm tougher than I look.
[He waits another one, two, three seconds and -
Exhales, annoyed.
Maybe it's as simple as a need to exchange favors. Akechi's protection for healing. Debts and recompense.
That, at least, makes sense.
He rolls up his sleeve to expose the slash - deep, inflamed and burning. His fingers squeeze the dampness out of the rolled up fabric against his elbow to add another series of red dots to the pinpricks on the floor. It's almost like art.
He kind of misses museums now.
The arm's held up to Maruki - Akechi knows he's not that kind of doctor, so this is bound to be rich.]
Though since we're on the subject, if I may offer some advice - simply because you have devoted your life to acts of service to others doesn't mean all deserve, or want, a piece of it. You may need to learn to pick your battles.
He isn't a child. There's no need to baby him - he's not some sobbing client in a chair lamenting every goddamn woe or gaping arm wound.
Liquid starts to pool in the cuff of his sleeve. He doesn't make a single movement, outside of shifting his weight to the uninjured ankle.
The issue is he can predict this stupid ass conversation - a back and forth that will have Akechi relenting anyway because he's playing the same act as he did with the Phantom Thieves. Licking wounds in safe rooms, sharing items and supplies, tending different injuries as a goddamn group activity.
He can already hear Maruki rebuke any comments made. The annoying circular conversation that will inevitably have Akechi rolling up his sleeve because that's the compliant front he's required to play. An irritating thought that bothers him more than his dwindling stamina and lack of Loki.]
While I appreciate your insistence on the matter, you don't need to coddle me over scrapes. I assure you I'm tougher than I look.
[He waits another one, two, three seconds and -
Exhales, annoyed.
Maybe it's as simple as a need to exchange favors. Akechi's protection for healing. Debts and recompense.
That, at least, makes sense.
He rolls up his sleeve to expose the slash - deep, inflamed and burning. His fingers squeeze the dampness out of the rolled up fabric against his elbow to add another series of red dots to the pinpricks on the floor. It's almost like art.
He kind of misses museums now.
The arm's held up to Maruki - Akechi knows he's not that kind of doctor, so this is bound to be rich.]
Though since we're on the subject, if I may offer some advice - simply because you have devoted your life to acts of service to others doesn't mean all deserve, or want, a piece of it. You may need to learn to pick your battles.
[ Maruki winces at the sight of the injury, but it doesn't put him off. No, he's not that kind of doctor. But one does need first aid training to work in a school, even as a temporary staff member, even at a place as steeped in corruption as Shujin – and in fact, housing his office alongside the school nurse while the students were still recovering from Kamoshida's abuse was good exposure therapy.
He stoops for the satchel again, pulls out the spare shirt he'd packed with nothing more than a passing thought that they might wind up somewhere wet, or cold, or otherwise disgusting. Without a second thought, he tears into it until he has a strip of cloth from the bottom, pours the bottled water on it, and begins to mop the worst of the blood from Akechi's arm.
His pointed words settle over Maruki's racing mind like a heavy blanket. Easier to focus on a passive argument than actually deal with anything else that's gone on. ]
I appreciate your concern, and I'll take it to heart when we escape this place and I'm spoiled for choice again. But as it stands, you're the only battle here that I can pick.
[ The wet cloth is quickly soaked red. Maruki pauses, pulls a face. Holds it up over the top of the shelf to wring it out on the other side, then continues cleaning the wound as best he can. ]
Anyhow, it's the least I can do. I would have been dead instantly if we hadn't come here together, and if you weren't so–
[ A pause as his own words pierce that blanket and seep into his mind. He really could have died. Would have died. He owes Akechi his life, several times over now, and for someone as pathologically avoidant of pain as Maruki, that is no small thing.
He shakes his head to clear it, drapes the cloth over his shoulder like a dish towel back in the castle kitchen and starts rooting through the kit for alcohol wipes. ]
Well, let's say that I can now clearly see you're stronger than you look.
[ An implied what the hell was all of that hangs in the stale air of the convenience store. He almost doesn't want to venture into that conversation now, better saved for when they couldn't be interrupted by the rumbling growing closer. But he can't avoid thinking about it.
Robin Hood.
The name lodged into his mind like the jagged edges of the collective unconscious that Akechi drew. ]
He stoops for the satchel again, pulls out the spare shirt he'd packed with nothing more than a passing thought that they might wind up somewhere wet, or cold, or otherwise disgusting. Without a second thought, he tears into it until he has a strip of cloth from the bottom, pours the bottled water on it, and begins to mop the worst of the blood from Akechi's arm.
His pointed words settle over Maruki's racing mind like a heavy blanket. Easier to focus on a passive argument than actually deal with anything else that's gone on. ]
I appreciate your concern, and I'll take it to heart when we escape this place and I'm spoiled for choice again. But as it stands, you're the only battle here that I can pick.
[ The wet cloth is quickly soaked red. Maruki pauses, pulls a face. Holds it up over the top of the shelf to wring it out on the other side, then continues cleaning the wound as best he can. ]
Anyhow, it's the least I can do. I would have been dead instantly if we hadn't come here together, and if you weren't so–
[ A pause as his own words pierce that blanket and seep into his mind. He really could have died. Would have died. He owes Akechi his life, several times over now, and for someone as pathologically avoidant of pain as Maruki, that is no small thing.
He shakes his head to clear it, drapes the cloth over his shoulder like a dish towel back in the castle kitchen and starts rooting through the kit for alcohol wipes. ]
Well, let's say that I can now clearly see you're stronger than you look.
[ An implied what the hell was all of that hangs in the stale air of the convenience store. He almost doesn't want to venture into that conversation now, better saved for when they couldn't be interrupted by the rumbling growing closer. But he can't avoid thinking about it.
Robin Hood.
The name lodged into his mind like the jagged edges of the collective unconscious that Akechi drew. ]
[This is a lesson in learning to dodge effectively. It doesn't matter when he's alone. The thrill of getting hit oscillates as a boost to finish a fight at best or a reminder of weakness at worst. All opportunities in their own way. The sensation of having someone gently wipe his arm with this level of care-
It's uncomfortable. He hates it. Embarrassing in an unexplainable way that makes him want to tear free to sit in a corner until they're required to move again. He hates him. Hates Maruki whose savior complex tendencies has him squeezing, tearing, and-
There's a lingering question with his relent on Akechi's strength. He shifts, uncomfortable and rapidly pulling together some kind of explanation from limbs of truth.
It's too late to sit down. A concession he's unwilling to make. He would rather stand until his legs go numb. Hopefully that punishes Maruki too.]
Robin Hood isn't from anything Vaeros provided or this world. I'm only stating this as a formal confirmation of what we both know.
[The distressing experience of being cared for buffered under a topic he doesn't want to discuss. Both are terrible, one is infinitely more distracting. He can ebb around certain topics, specific knowledge - just the basics. Just a little. He doesn't want Maruki knowing more than he needs and getting into places he doesn't belong back in their reality. ]
It's a manifestation of will that appears in the cognitive world, as you're so keenly aware of.
[Contracts, rebellion - all of that is unnecessary. Metaverse, applications, palaces, Mementos, treasures, shadows and-
Ugh.
He should've never drawn that map.]
Before you ask any questions on that matter, I'm not that familiar with it. I had recently been pulled in on accident and Robin Hood awakened when I was in danger. The 'how' and 'why' are beyond my current knowledge.
It's uncomfortable. He hates it. Embarrassing in an unexplainable way that makes him want to tear free to sit in a corner until they're required to move again. He hates him. Hates Maruki whose savior complex tendencies has him squeezing, tearing, and-
There's a lingering question with his relent on Akechi's strength. He shifts, uncomfortable and rapidly pulling together some kind of explanation from limbs of truth.
It's too late to sit down. A concession he's unwilling to make. He would rather stand until his legs go numb. Hopefully that punishes Maruki too.]
Robin Hood isn't from anything Vaeros provided or this world. I'm only stating this as a formal confirmation of what we both know.
[The distressing experience of being cared for buffered under a topic he doesn't want to discuss. Both are terrible, one is infinitely more distracting. He can ebb around certain topics, specific knowledge - just the basics. Just a little. He doesn't want Maruki knowing more than he needs and getting into places he doesn't belong back in their reality. ]
It's a manifestation of will that appears in the cognitive world, as you're so keenly aware of.
[Contracts, rebellion - all of that is unnecessary. Metaverse, applications, palaces, Mementos, treasures, shadows and-
Ugh.
He should've never drawn that map.]
Before you ask any questions on that matter, I'm not that familiar with it. I had recently been pulled in on accident and Robin Hood awakened when I was in danger. The 'how' and 'why' are beyond my current knowledge.
[ A manifestation of will that appears in the cognitive world.
Maruki's just torn open the alcohol wipe packet when he says that, and it gives him actual, physical pause.
The blood red sky only he could see. The white hot streak of furious conviction burning straight through his heart. The air around Rumi and Yoshizawa shimmering, aurora-like. The years of migraines, the voice made manifest. The creature he couldn't begin to comprehend or describe, and the way it suddenly all made perfect sense anyway.
He stares at Akechi, hand still wrapped around his arm to stabilize it, the apology on the tip of his tongue for the incoming sting dead on arrival. ]
That's–
[ It sounds crazy in his own mind, every time he so much as thinks about explaining it to someone. He never planned to need to. He never planned to say anything at all. Learn by doing, learn by trial and error, trust in the voice that guided him for years to tell him what he needs to know. That's the only way.
But somehow – unpredictably, unbelievably, somehow, he now knows it won't sound crazy to Akechi. ]
Me too.
[ It forces its way out of his mouth before he can think to word it any better than that. He can barely hear himself over the ringing in his own ears. ]
It happened to me too. Not– not like what you just described, exactly, but– a manifestation of will, yes, it–
[ He looks down at Akechi's arm, the wound deep and angry. Gently, so gently, he begins to swipe the alcohol wipe along the edges of the gash, if only for something to do with his hands while his mind flies away from him. ]
Sorry. I'm hardly making sense. I haven't told anyone. I didn't even have the words until just now.
Maruki's just torn open the alcohol wipe packet when he says that, and it gives him actual, physical pause.
The blood red sky only he could see. The white hot streak of furious conviction burning straight through his heart. The air around Rumi and Yoshizawa shimmering, aurora-like. The years of migraines, the voice made manifest. The creature he couldn't begin to comprehend or describe, and the way it suddenly all made perfect sense anyway.
I am the other you, dwelling in the realm of mankind's hearts.
He stares at Akechi, hand still wrapped around his arm to stabilize it, the apology on the tip of his tongue for the incoming sting dead on arrival. ]
That's–
[ It sounds crazy in his own mind, every time he so much as thinks about explaining it to someone. He never planned to need to. He never planned to say anything at all. Learn by doing, learn by trial and error, trust in the voice that guided him for years to tell him what he needs to know. That's the only way.
But somehow – unpredictably, unbelievably, somehow, he now knows it won't sound crazy to Akechi. ]
Me too.
[ It forces its way out of his mouth before he can think to word it any better than that. He can barely hear himself over the ringing in his own ears. ]
It happened to me too. Not– not like what you just described, exactly, but– a manifestation of will, yes, it–
[ He looks down at Akechi's arm, the wound deep and angry. Gently, so gently, he begins to swipe the alcohol wipe along the edges of the gash, if only for something to do with his hands while his mind flies away from him. ]
Sorry. I'm hardly making sense. I haven't told anyone. I didn't even have the words until just now.
What?
[It's not the sting of alcohol that jolts him or makes his arm lurch with a sudden twitch. It has nothing to do with the burning sensation running up his arm or the rattle of chips with every aftershock from a B-Movie monster film.
Me too.
And he's lying.
He has to be lying.
Manifestation of will, yes, it-
It doesn't make sense because he's lying.
A cognitive researcher with a persona - he would have to make it to the cognitive world. Proving it would be simple - a phone application would turn his research office into site zero. Mementos would have been familiar. A persona required a contract, one that came with facing your rebellion, with your fate, with a danger that required-
Akechi would have seen him. Would have noticed. Rats scurrying in from Tokyo's alleyways and buildings - a researcher would have been noted, reported, dealt a vicious hand that left no room for mercy. Maruki would be dead in the shadows of his draft papers. Another footnote in a line of mysterious deaths. Maruki is lying. He's alive, so he's lying. He's breathing, talking, with notes and diagrams and-
He's not lying.
How is he not lying?
A mind in scrambles, fingers and body still completely. He can navigate this. It's easy. Maruki's ignorant - hasn't got a goddamn clue what's going on. A barebones idea he can only put words to because Akechi gave a basic rundown.
It's fine. Salvageable. He inhales - quiet. Exhales - a little louder.]
Please explain - everything, if you don't mind. You're-
[The first one? No. A lie he can't maintain. Too broad, too unbelievable.]
I haven't heard of many who can manifest this. It's rare I get a firsthand account. I gave you my story - it seems only fair you share yours. The distraction would help.
[An implication - appeal to a savior complex. To a caretaker. To a pathetic piece of shit who had a persona the whole goddamn time. The alcohol doesn't register as anything anymore - his arm could be doused and he'd barely-
Maruki's too gentle. He's not delicate, not glass, not a kid, he wants to vomit at the goddamn tenderness of it all and-
Focus. He needs to focus. Get information and ignore everything else.]
[It's not the sting of alcohol that jolts him or makes his arm lurch with a sudden twitch. It has nothing to do with the burning sensation running up his arm or the rattle of chips with every aftershock from a B-Movie monster film.
Me too.
And he's lying.
He has to be lying.
Manifestation of will, yes, it-
It doesn't make sense because he's lying.
A cognitive researcher with a persona - he would have to make it to the cognitive world. Proving it would be simple - a phone application would turn his research office into site zero. Mementos would have been familiar. A persona required a contract, one that came with facing your rebellion, with your fate, with a danger that required-
Akechi would have seen him. Would have noticed. Rats scurrying in from Tokyo's alleyways and buildings - a researcher would have been noted, reported, dealt a vicious hand that left no room for mercy. Maruki would be dead in the shadows of his draft papers. Another footnote in a line of mysterious deaths. Maruki is lying. He's alive, so he's lying. He's breathing, talking, with notes and diagrams and-
He's not lying.
How is he not lying?
A mind in scrambles, fingers and body still completely. He can navigate this. It's easy. Maruki's ignorant - hasn't got a goddamn clue what's going on. A barebones idea he can only put words to because Akechi gave a basic rundown.
It's fine. Salvageable. He inhales - quiet. Exhales - a little louder.]
Please explain - everything, if you don't mind. You're-
[The first one? No. A lie he can't maintain. Too broad, too unbelievable.]
I haven't heard of many who can manifest this. It's rare I get a firsthand account. I gave you my story - it seems only fair you share yours. The distraction would help.
[An implication - appeal to a savior complex. To a caretaker. To a pathetic piece of shit who had a persona the whole goddamn time. The alcohol doesn't register as anything anymore - his arm could be doused and he'd barely-
Maruki's too gentle. He's not delicate, not glass, not a kid, he wants to vomit at the goddamn tenderness of it all and-
Focus. He needs to focus. Get information and ignore everything else.]
[ It probably doesn't help at all that Maruki is just as stunned at his own admission as Akechi is. The two of them, trapped in a cognitive city overrun with monsters, staring at each other dumbly between snack aisles. It would be comical if it didn't feel so–
Maruki licks his lips uselessly, draws a deep breath to try to steady his pounding heart. All the adrenaline from running and fighting for their lives that was gradually beginning to fade in their temporary shelter has resurfaced, now from the anxiety of talking about something so–
Pivotal. Integral to his whole self. Mysterious. Confusing. Desperately, deeply necessary.
There's so much to it, and so little he knows how to explain.
He nods, refocuses on cleaning the wound, which can only be delicate for so long. He knows it must hurt as he moves past the edges, blood soaking into the wipe and scent of ethanol sharp in the air between them, even if Akechi doesn't react. ]
I'll tell you, but I'll apologize in advance, as well. You'll likely find the story lacking. It's all– new to me. Very new.
[ Breathe. Steady. Remember. Remember. ]
I had horrible headaches for years. They were bad enough that I went to doctors, but there was nothing physically wrong with me. It was chalked up to stress from grad school and trying to secure work as a researcher.
[ He wants to be honest with Akechi, as requested, but there are parts he can't share. Not even because of what he'd done. Because it's still barred off from him, a room his mind doesn't allow him into for his own ability to stay upright. And now, more than ever, he needs to remain functional. So he edges around it, keeps his tone as even as it can be. ]
I was going through a lot at the time, and I had a bit of a breakdown. I cried out for help. And– Akechi-kun, I know it sounds like madness, but I heard a voice.
[ It had terrified him. It had been such a comfort. He misses it so much. ]
I would hear it occasionally over the years. Only in my times of greatest need. It was barely understandable, but it was undoubtedly present.
[ The wound is as clean as it will get. He folds the bloodied wipe up, lays it on the top of the shelf, barely cognizant of potential biohazard waste. What does it matter, in a cognitive world? What does any of this matter? What would happen to them if they let a monster trample them?
Focus.
Maruki uncaps a bottle of ointment and daubs it on the wound as he goes on, his movements methodical, his voice straining. ]
Just hours before I arrived here, I heard the voice again. Clearer than ever before. And it– manifested, as you said.
[ He hesitates for a moment and meets Akechi's eyes, apologetic. ]
I haven't been entirely truthful with you, but it's only because I've truly believed that what happened to me was a product of my own mind. The– what we saw in my dream, that's part of it. I don't think I could begin to describe what the rest of it looks like. And when I told you I had just signed something before being brought to this reality...
[ Back to focusing on the wound. ]
It wasn't a signature with pen and ink. I– contracted, I guess, with that– thing.
[ Azathoth. ]
And that was it. I woke up here without it. I haven't been able to make sense of it since then, until– now.
[ He finally trails off with an exasperated laugh, wipes his hand off on the wet cloth over his shoulder, and begins searching the kit for gauze and bandages. ]
Again, I'm sorry. It's hardly descriptive. I know less than you do by a wide margin. I can't believe I've told you any of this. God.
Maruki licks his lips uselessly, draws a deep breath to try to steady his pounding heart. All the adrenaline from running and fighting for their lives that was gradually beginning to fade in their temporary shelter has resurfaced, now from the anxiety of talking about something so–
Pivotal. Integral to his whole self. Mysterious. Confusing. Desperately, deeply necessary.
There's so much to it, and so little he knows how to explain.
He nods, refocuses on cleaning the wound, which can only be delicate for so long. He knows it must hurt as he moves past the edges, blood soaking into the wipe and scent of ethanol sharp in the air between them, even if Akechi doesn't react. ]
I'll tell you, but I'll apologize in advance, as well. You'll likely find the story lacking. It's all– new to me. Very new.
[ Breathe. Steady. Remember. Remember. ]
I had horrible headaches for years. They were bad enough that I went to doctors, but there was nothing physically wrong with me. It was chalked up to stress from grad school and trying to secure work as a researcher.
[ He wants to be honest with Akechi, as requested, but there are parts he can't share. Not even because of what he'd done. Because it's still barred off from him, a room his mind doesn't allow him into for his own ability to stay upright. And now, more than ever, he needs to remain functional. So he edges around it, keeps his tone as even as it can be. ]
I was going through a lot at the time, and I had a bit of a breakdown. I cried out for help. And– Akechi-kun, I know it sounds like madness, but I heard a voice.
[ It had terrified him. It had been such a comfort. He misses it so much. ]
I would hear it occasionally over the years. Only in my times of greatest need. It was barely understandable, but it was undoubtedly present.
[ The wound is as clean as it will get. He folds the bloodied wipe up, lays it on the top of the shelf, barely cognizant of potential biohazard waste. What does it matter, in a cognitive world? What does any of this matter? What would happen to them if they let a monster trample them?
Focus.
Maruki uncaps a bottle of ointment and daubs it on the wound as he goes on, his movements methodical, his voice straining. ]
Just hours before I arrived here, I heard the voice again. Clearer than ever before. And it– manifested, as you said.
[ He hesitates for a moment and meets Akechi's eyes, apologetic. ]
I haven't been entirely truthful with you, but it's only because I've truly believed that what happened to me was a product of my own mind. The– what we saw in my dream, that's part of it. I don't think I could begin to describe what the rest of it looks like. And when I told you I had just signed something before being brought to this reality...
[ Back to focusing on the wound. ]
It wasn't a signature with pen and ink. I– contracted, I guess, with that– thing.
[ Azathoth. ]
And that was it. I woke up here without it. I haven't been able to make sense of it since then, until– now.
[ He finally trails off with an exasperated laugh, wipes his hand off on the wet cloth over his shoulder, and begins searching the kit for gauze and bandages. ]
Again, I'm sorry. It's hardly descriptive. I know less than you do by a wide margin. I can't believe I've told you any of this. God.
[He listens. Intent on burning every word to memory, past conversations relaying in tandem with new information spewing from his mouth. Hesitant. Trusting.
He really told Akechi everything because of a shared ability. A simple request. That's all it took. It's why he would be dead, if not for Vaeros' power spiriting them away. If someone from Shido's shadow came by - whispered something about an ability, gave him comfort in a shared experience those words -
Would have died splattered against the wall of his shitty apartment. In black, murky liquid spewing from eyes and mouth with all will torn apart, piece by pathetic piece.
It stings. He doesn't care. It doesn't make sense - goes against the norms of the other persona users, the minor knowledge gleaned from Wakaba's research, the topics he overheard from Shido's private researchers.
Headaches. Extensive time. A voice. Manifested -
Later, much later. In the real world because Maruki didn't know about the cognitive world like he did and-
They talked about powers in a shared room - Maruki lied then. So did Akechi.
They conversed about the cognitive world over a shared meal - Akechi lied then. So did Maruki.
They spoke in vague, broad strokes on a dirt coated path to the castle - they both lied. Maruki is a liar. A good one. Akechi is a liar. A better one. Impossible to discern if he's being woven into another far fetched tale, but the hesitancy, the explanations, the it sounds like madness-
A churning sensation in his chest - Maruki's path is leading him to certain death. Anything Akechi relays propels him closer to that shadow. It's too much knowledge for someone in his position.
If he cared about the man in any capacity, he would rip this story to shreds. Make him question everything. Make him repress everything. Make him think he's insane for even uttering tales about this and-
He doesn't care - not one bit. Not for a second. It's easy to blink and breathe away static in his skull. He doesn't care about Maruki, so his mouth opens and-]
I see.
[His eyes stay strained against the bumpy, torn flesh on his arm, fixating on inflamed pink and red. Shifting of paper and tools. Loud slams in the ground. Groaning buildings. Distant shattering.
He doesn't care about Maruki, so he keeps talking.]
For the record, you aren't mad. While your awakening has some odd inconsistencies, certain aspects remain true to a known standard. Hearing a voice and agreeing to a contract, then-
[Robin Hood burns - bright and gentle throughout his chest. He hates it.]
It's always with you. There, when you need it most, even if you can't summon it. Vaeros may have dampened it for now, but your strength of will ensures it's never lost. Robin Hood is proof of that.
[A beat - he moves his arm a bit. Waves it to dry the alcohol and elicit more stings to ground him.]
Thank you for telling me. As usual, you are full of surprises. To think you had that kind of power - well, I'm certainly happy we're allied.
He really told Akechi everything because of a shared ability. A simple request. That's all it took. It's why he would be dead, if not for Vaeros' power spiriting them away. If someone from Shido's shadow came by - whispered something about an ability, gave him comfort in a shared experience those words -
Would have died splattered against the wall of his shitty apartment. In black, murky liquid spewing from eyes and mouth with all will torn apart, piece by pathetic piece.
It stings. He doesn't care. It doesn't make sense - goes against the norms of the other persona users, the minor knowledge gleaned from Wakaba's research, the topics he overheard from Shido's private researchers.
Headaches. Extensive time. A voice. Manifested -
Later, much later. In the real world because Maruki didn't know about the cognitive world like he did and-
They talked about powers in a shared room - Maruki lied then. So did Akechi.
They conversed about the cognitive world over a shared meal - Akechi lied then. So did Maruki.
They spoke in vague, broad strokes on a dirt coated path to the castle - they both lied. Maruki is a liar. A good one. Akechi is a liar. A better one. Impossible to discern if he's being woven into another far fetched tale, but the hesitancy, the explanations, the it sounds like madness-
A churning sensation in his chest - Maruki's path is leading him to certain death. Anything Akechi relays propels him closer to that shadow. It's too much knowledge for someone in his position.
If he cared about the man in any capacity, he would rip this story to shreds. Make him question everything. Make him repress everything. Make him think he's insane for even uttering tales about this and-
He doesn't care - not one bit. Not for a second. It's easy to blink and breathe away static in his skull. He doesn't care about Maruki, so his mouth opens and-]
I see.
[His eyes stay strained against the bumpy, torn flesh on his arm, fixating on inflamed pink and red. Shifting of paper and tools. Loud slams in the ground. Groaning buildings. Distant shattering.
He doesn't care about Maruki, so he keeps talking.]
For the record, you aren't mad. While your awakening has some odd inconsistencies, certain aspects remain true to a known standard. Hearing a voice and agreeing to a contract, then-
[Robin Hood burns - bright and gentle throughout his chest. He hates it.]
It's always with you. There, when you need it most, even if you can't summon it. Vaeros may have dampened it for now, but your strength of will ensures it's never lost. Robin Hood is proof of that.
[A beat - he moves his arm a bit. Waves it to dry the alcohol and elicit more stings to ground him.]
Thank you for telling me. As usual, you are full of surprises. To think you had that kind of power - well, I'm certainly happy we're allied.
Edited 2024-05-29 02:55 (UTC)
[ Maruki listens to him so, so intently. Every reassuring word another tether anchoring his panicked mind and beleaguered heart back to reality – or whatever poor excuse for a reality they're in now. The gratitude probably wears openly on his face. He doesn't know. He's not aware of anything he's doing for a moment.
Your strength of will ensures it's never lost.
What he won't admit, not to Akechi, not to anyone: Half of the time he's been in Somnius so far, he really has thought he's simply in the throes of another breakdown. It all aligned too perfectly. The voice made tangible in front of him, threading their souls together and aligning them perfectly with the collective unconscious, giving him the power he'd worked his whole life toward. And then nothing: A wish, a contract, in a strange new reality, when in his own his wish had already been fulfilled and his contract already signed.
He really had begun to convince himself that it couldn't have actually happened. That it was tied up in whatever manipulation done to his cognition to bring him here in the first place.
Akechi dispels those notions at once.
He doesn't know what to say. Doesn't say anything for a long while, only focuses on securing the gauze over the wound before wrapping Akechi's arm. The flickering barely-there light of the drink shelf. The chaos outside, far, but not far enough. His own heartbeat rattling through his ribs.
When he finishes, he takes a step back. Tries to form words. Fails. Pushes his glasses up into his hair and presses the heel of one palm to a closed eye. Laughs, not at himself, not at the ridiculousness of their situation, just at the way the universe works. ]
Sorry, I'm usually better with my words than this. Shit. Ah, I–
[ Deep inhale through the nose. Hold it. Exhale through the mouth, slow, deliberate. He drops his hand, straightens his glasses back onto his nose, and looks at Akechi in a whole new light. ]
Thank you. For understanding, and for showing me– that it's real. It can be real.
[ When they get out of this fucking labyrinth, he knows exactly where he's going. ]
I'm grateful to have you as an ally too. More grateful than ever.
[ He's already indebted to Akechi for protecting his life here, and now this. How Maruki will ever begin to repay him, he doesn't know.
No, he does. They just need to make it back to their reality intact.
His head is beginning to ache, right at the base of his skull, where it always used to. Too many thoughts. One thing at a time.
He grabs the kit and hands it to Akechi before lowering himself to the ground, leaning heavily against the opposite shelf. ]
Sit. Wrap your ankle. I can see you're favoring the good one. And– I'll have a thousand questions later, once my own abilities have been returned to me, but if I can ask one now... This power. These things. Why us?
[ Maruki knows full well why him.
He wants to know why Akechi. Why them. ]
Your strength of will ensures it's never lost.
What he won't admit, not to Akechi, not to anyone: Half of the time he's been in Somnius so far, he really has thought he's simply in the throes of another breakdown. It all aligned too perfectly. The voice made tangible in front of him, threading their souls together and aligning them perfectly with the collective unconscious, giving him the power he'd worked his whole life toward. And then nothing: A wish, a contract, in a strange new reality, when in his own his wish had already been fulfilled and his contract already signed.
He really had begun to convince himself that it couldn't have actually happened. That it was tied up in whatever manipulation done to his cognition to bring him here in the first place.
Akechi dispels those notions at once.
He doesn't know what to say. Doesn't say anything for a long while, only focuses on securing the gauze over the wound before wrapping Akechi's arm. The flickering barely-there light of the drink shelf. The chaos outside, far, but not far enough. His own heartbeat rattling through his ribs.
When he finishes, he takes a step back. Tries to form words. Fails. Pushes his glasses up into his hair and presses the heel of one palm to a closed eye. Laughs, not at himself, not at the ridiculousness of their situation, just at the way the universe works. ]
Sorry, I'm usually better with my words than this. Shit. Ah, I–
[ Deep inhale through the nose. Hold it. Exhale through the mouth, slow, deliberate. He drops his hand, straightens his glasses back onto his nose, and looks at Akechi in a whole new light. ]
Thank you. For understanding, and for showing me– that it's real. It can be real.
[ When they get out of this fucking labyrinth, he knows exactly where he's going. ]
I'm grateful to have you as an ally too. More grateful than ever.
[ He's already indebted to Akechi for protecting his life here, and now this. How Maruki will ever begin to repay him, he doesn't know.
No, he does. They just need to make it back to their reality intact.
His head is beginning to ache, right at the base of his skull, where it always used to. Too many thoughts. One thing at a time.
He grabs the kit and hands it to Akechi before lowering himself to the ground, leaning heavily against the opposite shelf. ]
Sit. Wrap your ankle. I can see you're favoring the good one. And– I'll have a thousand questions later, once my own abilities have been returned to me, but if I can ask one now... This power. These things. Why us?
[ Maruki knows full well why him.
He wants to know why Akechi. Why them. ]
[This is a mess. A baffling disaster in the making. It's akin to the Phantom Thieves traversing mindlessly through the Metaverse, not a goddamn care in the world. Stupid teenagers who didn't understand what they were messing with, on an supposed altruistic journey to fix distorted desires.
They ruined people. Akechi ruined people. Maruki will ruin people.
His arm feels better. That annoys him. The care taken to wrap the injury allowing some reprieve with the numbing ointment. His own self care is normally quick, intentional and rough. It always hurts after.
This doesn't hurt and -
Maruki steps back in a manner Akechi isn't accustomed to. Looks torn, utters a curse with a normally pleasant tongue that keeps those reactions in check and -
He smiles, because he's supposed to. Forgiving, gentle, kind Detective Prince who gives information, who comforts, who-
Sets people up to die by his own hand it's-
Funny, honestly. Maruki knew too much. Knows too much. Is interested in too much. He was likely always on someone's radar - his newfound power with expediate it and -
Maybe it won't matter if he can lay low until Shido's corpse lays at his feet. If Maruki can't, then Akechi's all too happy to walk over his rotting body first. It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. That twisted expression of relief for a power he didn't understand doesn't matter.
He smiles because none of this goddamn shit matters.
All he needs to do is see what power he's dealing with and how annoying it might be battle, if it comes to that.]
Of course, Maruki-san. It must have been frightening to deal with that alone. To be honest, I felt the same - after it happened, I thought...
[Nothing. Because it was planned, expected, known. It's all bullshit, except-
For a second, he remembers standing in the depths of some unknown person's palace, shorter, smaller, weaker. A gun in hand. A task in mind. The first run in with shadows - grotesque monsters he couldn't figure out how to give form too. He remembers-
Not caring. He doesn't. Didn't. It didn't matter because everything is planned.
Like the way he slides to the ground, ever compliant. Ever the shining example of how a perfect teenager should act.]
Well, never mind. To that question - I don't know, as disappointing as that is to hear. It almost makes a person feel like they were chosen for something greater, doesn't it? A goal beyond simple matters in everyday life. Why else would such a power be awakened in so few?
[He reaches forward to roll up the edge of his pant leg - a less prominent mark burning red across his ankle.]
Or maybe this is our tree of knowledge and our contract was a temptation we should have ignored. A bite from an apple to be resisted - now we failed and we're doomed to live our lives in some madman's dream.
[He chuckles - quiet and calm. Leans back against the chips with an intent to crush every one along his spine.]
I'm kidding on that last one. It's our will and it's always been within us. Our right, even, to hold and wield such awakened abilities. The truth will always come out. One day, the answer will be made clear.
They ruined people. Akechi ruined people. Maruki will ruin people.
His arm feels better. That annoys him. The care taken to wrap the injury allowing some reprieve with the numbing ointment. His own self care is normally quick, intentional and rough. It always hurts after.
This doesn't hurt and -
Maruki steps back in a manner Akechi isn't accustomed to. Looks torn, utters a curse with a normally pleasant tongue that keeps those reactions in check and -
He smiles, because he's supposed to. Forgiving, gentle, kind Detective Prince who gives information, who comforts, who-
Sets people up to die by his own hand it's-
Funny, honestly. Maruki knew too much. Knows too much. Is interested in too much. He was likely always on someone's radar - his newfound power with expediate it and -
Maybe it won't matter if he can lay low until Shido's corpse lays at his feet. If Maruki can't, then Akechi's all too happy to walk over his rotting body first. It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. That twisted expression of relief for a power he didn't understand doesn't matter.
He smiles because none of this goddamn shit matters.
All he needs to do is see what power he's dealing with and how annoying it might be battle, if it comes to that.]
Of course, Maruki-san. It must have been frightening to deal with that alone. To be honest, I felt the same - after it happened, I thought...
[Nothing. Because it was planned, expected, known. It's all bullshit, except-
For a second, he remembers standing in the depths of some unknown person's palace, shorter, smaller, weaker. A gun in hand. A task in mind. The first run in with shadows - grotesque monsters he couldn't figure out how to give form too. He remembers-
Not caring. He doesn't. Didn't. It didn't matter because everything is planned.
Like the way he slides to the ground, ever compliant. Ever the shining example of how a perfect teenager should act.]
Well, never mind. To that question - I don't know, as disappointing as that is to hear. It almost makes a person feel like they were chosen for something greater, doesn't it? A goal beyond simple matters in everyday life. Why else would such a power be awakened in so few?
[He reaches forward to roll up the edge of his pant leg - a less prominent mark burning red across his ankle.]
Or maybe this is our tree of knowledge and our contract was a temptation we should have ignored. A bite from an apple to be resisted - now we failed and we're doomed to live our lives in some madman's dream.
[He chuckles - quiet and calm. Leans back against the chips with an intent to crush every one along his spine.]
I'm kidding on that last one. It's our will and it's always been within us. Our right, even, to hold and wield such awakened abilities. The truth will always come out. One day, the answer will be made clear.
[ Like an icepick to the back of his neck, plunged in and twisted to drive straight up through the base of his skull, into his grey matter: It almost makes a person feel like they were chosen for something greater, doesn't it?
For a moment all he can see is brilliant, blinding light. White marble, expansive spiraling stairs, endless halls lined with flowers. Eden.
It's gone as quickly as it came. He blinks spots out of his vision, smiles at Akechi. Relieved, grateful. And something else. ]
No apologies necessary. As you've seen tonight, I clearly don't have any concrete answers to offer myself. And I like to hear your thoughts regardless.
[ He really does. Akechi has a way of taking in what he says and handing it back to him, reshaped and reconfigured to make him consider things in a new light. Just like Akira, seated across from him in that nurse's office, listening patiently to his theories and giving his honest, astute thoughts, guiding him by the hand down the twisting corridors of his own mind.
They're so alike. They're nothing alike at all. Maruki wouldn't know what to do without both of their influences on his life now.
He stretches his legs out in front of him, long enough that they touch the opposite shelf that Akechi rests against. Exhaustion and soreness are starting to seep into his body as adrenaline ekes out. ]
When it returns to me, we ought to...
[ He gestures vaguely between them, unsure of what to ask for. ]
I didn't know they could fight like that. I'll probably have to ask you to show me what to do. I apologize in advance.
[ A beat. He leans his head back against the stupid crunching chip bags, closes his eyes. ]
Azathoth, by the way. That's its name.
[ It's such a profound thing to finally say aloud. It only strengthens his conviction that he will be returned to him, wholly intact, and now with power that Maruki wasn't even aware of just ready to be ferreted out.
It can only help them in their shared goal here, and then whatever awaits both of them in their own reality. He doesn't ask. Save it for another time, a safer environment. Save it to ask alongside all of the other questions yet to come. ]
For a moment all he can see is brilliant, blinding light. White marble, expansive spiraling stairs, endless halls lined with flowers. Eden.
It's gone as quickly as it came. He blinks spots out of his vision, smiles at Akechi. Relieved, grateful. And something else. ]
No apologies necessary. As you've seen tonight, I clearly don't have any concrete answers to offer myself. And I like to hear your thoughts regardless.
[ He really does. Akechi has a way of taking in what he says and handing it back to him, reshaped and reconfigured to make him consider things in a new light. Just like Akira, seated across from him in that nurse's office, listening patiently to his theories and giving his honest, astute thoughts, guiding him by the hand down the twisting corridors of his own mind.
They're so alike. They're nothing alike at all. Maruki wouldn't know what to do without both of their influences on his life now.
He stretches his legs out in front of him, long enough that they touch the opposite shelf that Akechi rests against. Exhaustion and soreness are starting to seep into his body as adrenaline ekes out. ]
When it returns to me, we ought to...
[ He gestures vaguely between them, unsure of what to ask for. ]
I didn't know they could fight like that. I'll probably have to ask you to show me what to do. I apologize in advance.
[ A beat. He leans his head back against the stupid crunching chip bags, closes his eyes. ]
Azathoth, by the way. That's its name.
[ It's such a profound thing to finally say aloud. It only strengthens his conviction that he will be returned to him, wholly intact, and now with power that Maruki wasn't even aware of just ready to be ferreted out.
It can only help them in their shared goal here, and then whatever awaits both of them in their own reality. He doesn't ask. Save it for another time, a safer environment. Save it to ask alongside all of the other questions yet to come. ]
[Is he asking for tips? Unreal, but it's the natural progression of this conversation and truths laid bare. Akechi is the only other experienced persona user here. It's logical. It's beneficial. He learns about this goddamn annoyance and knows what to expect in the real world, when he inevitably figures out how to get to the Metaverse.
What a fucking day.
Azathoth is a familiar name - right on the tip of his tongue. Learning about Captain Kidd and the rest of the Phantom Thieves personas threw him into the depths of Google immediately after their first bout. He'll have to research the old fashioned way. There's a novelty in that.]
Then I look forward to it. We'll find out what Azathoth is capable of, though I have to warn you - my abilities were among the ones nerfed. Robin Hood doesn't have its usual repertoire and the ones that remain are weak in comparison to the power they had before.
[He stretches both arms - newly bandaged straining against the gauze, the tension in his muscles ebbing away.]
You may be surprised when we return to our world is all I mean by that. What we find out here may not be the full extent of what you can do. Don't be disappointed if it's not what you expect.
What a fucking day.
Azathoth is a familiar name - right on the tip of his tongue. Learning about Captain Kidd and the rest of the Phantom Thieves personas threw him into the depths of Google immediately after their first bout. He'll have to research the old fashioned way. There's a novelty in that.]
Then I look forward to it. We'll find out what Azathoth is capable of, though I have to warn you - my abilities were among the ones nerfed. Robin Hood doesn't have its usual repertoire and the ones that remain are weak in comparison to the power they had before.
[He stretches both arms - newly bandaged straining against the gauze, the tension in his muscles ebbing away.]
You may be surprised when we return to our world is all I mean by that. What we find out here may not be the full extent of what you can do. Don't be disappointed if it's not what you expect.
[ Easy to not be disappointed when he has no expectations to begin with.
They fall into idle chatter that quickly peters off into exhausted silence, trade off a couple hours of sleep each while the other stays alert. He wishes he could let Akechi sleep longer, watching him curled in on himself on the floor using his good arm as a pillow. It's incredible, how much pain was able to take – and deeply troubling in a way Maruki hasn't yet had time to grapple with. The last time he saw someone so injured–
There's no need to think about any of it. There's no need to think at all. He lets Akechi sleep, listens to the quiet metronome of his breath and the distant sounds of destruction. Stares into space, lets his eyes unfocus and mind go hazy.
When he does sleep, sprawled out on his back with an arm slung over his eyes and Akechi sitting watch, it's dead and dreamless. Thank god. Small blessings. If he had to counsel anyone in his cognitive Shujin office right now, he might actually snap.
Morning dawns, a weak and dingy light filtering into their temporary safe haven – and it is temporary, the rumbling having grown closer all throughout the night. They don't discuss much. It's implicitly understood that they will not wait here to see if it passes or if they're crushed and killed. Moving out is the more dangerous option, but it is at least an active one.
Maruki pours bottled water into Akechi's cupped hands for him to splash over his face, his fringe plastering against his forehead, and he marvels all over again at this strange companionship.
Their trek through the ruined city takes on a different tone on the second day. Akechi is no more subdued despite his injuries, still clearly tempering his delight at cleaving through the monsters, still commanding Robin Hood with a vicious efficiency. And Maruki–
Watches. Wants to watch.
He's still doing what he needs to do, taking cover until it's clear, seeking out paths of least resistance that they can follow. But his focus has shifted, and his new interest in the battles is sharpened, keen.
If this is power nerfed, he can't imagine what Akechi is capable of in the cognitive world.
If this is how Robin Hood does his work, he can't wait to see what the blind idiot god will be able to do, even in a weakened state.
Unfortunately, it doesn't keep him quite so far out of the fray as he was on the first day. There are a few close calls, bitten-off shouts from Akechi to please remain hidden where you belong, nothing too dicey until–
Robin Hood brings down a monster that's only mid-size compared to the others, that same fucking flash of light that Maruki knew he saw from Akechi's room – and it's down, certainly, crushing an abandoned drugstore beneath it as it goes, but it's not out.
He sees Akechi abandoning all pretenses with Robin Hood and going for it with his knife and ducks out from behind a mangled husk of a bus to– to do what, he doesn't know, shout at him to be careful, remind him they need to keep moving– it doesn't matter. Too close, too sudden, and he just barely dodges out of the way of the thing's flailing, writhing claws. ]
No–!!
[ It isn't an artful dodge at all. He hits the ground hard enough to rattle his head for a moment, eyes wide and wild on Akechi above him. Ears ringing. Dagger clutched uselessly in one hand. And the monster staggering closer to them with a grim grip on its remaining life. ]
They fall into idle chatter that quickly peters off into exhausted silence, trade off a couple hours of sleep each while the other stays alert. He wishes he could let Akechi sleep longer, watching him curled in on himself on the floor using his good arm as a pillow. It's incredible, how much pain was able to take – and deeply troubling in a way Maruki hasn't yet had time to grapple with. The last time he saw someone so injured–
There's no need to think about any of it. There's no need to think at all. He lets Akechi sleep, listens to the quiet metronome of his breath and the distant sounds of destruction. Stares into space, lets his eyes unfocus and mind go hazy.
When he does sleep, sprawled out on his back with an arm slung over his eyes and Akechi sitting watch, it's dead and dreamless. Thank god. Small blessings. If he had to counsel anyone in his cognitive Shujin office right now, he might actually snap.
Morning dawns, a weak and dingy light filtering into their temporary safe haven – and it is temporary, the rumbling having grown closer all throughout the night. They don't discuss much. It's implicitly understood that they will not wait here to see if it passes or if they're crushed and killed. Moving out is the more dangerous option, but it is at least an active one.
Maruki pours bottled water into Akechi's cupped hands for him to splash over his face, his fringe plastering against his forehead, and he marvels all over again at this strange companionship.
Their trek through the ruined city takes on a different tone on the second day. Akechi is no more subdued despite his injuries, still clearly tempering his delight at cleaving through the monsters, still commanding Robin Hood with a vicious efficiency. And Maruki–
Watches. Wants to watch.
He's still doing what he needs to do, taking cover until it's clear, seeking out paths of least resistance that they can follow. But his focus has shifted, and his new interest in the battles is sharpened, keen.
If this is power nerfed, he can't imagine what Akechi is capable of in the cognitive world.
If this is how Robin Hood does his work, he can't wait to see what the blind idiot god will be able to do, even in a weakened state.
Unfortunately, it doesn't keep him quite so far out of the fray as he was on the first day. There are a few close calls, bitten-off shouts from Akechi to please remain hidden where you belong, nothing too dicey until–
Robin Hood brings down a monster that's only mid-size compared to the others, that same fucking flash of light that Maruki knew he saw from Akechi's room – and it's down, certainly, crushing an abandoned drugstore beneath it as it goes, but it's not out.
He sees Akechi abandoning all pretenses with Robin Hood and going for it with his knife and ducks out from behind a mangled husk of a bus to– to do what, he doesn't know, shout at him to be careful, remind him they need to keep moving– it doesn't matter. Too close, too sudden, and he just barely dodges out of the way of the thing's flailing, writhing claws. ]
No–!!
[ It isn't an artful dodge at all. He hits the ground hard enough to rattle his head for a moment, eyes wide and wild on Akechi above him. Ears ringing. Dagger clutched uselessly in one hand. And the monster staggering closer to them with a grim grip on its remaining life. ]
[Furious. He's furious.
The one goddamn thing he required of Maruki brushed aside. A petulant child that can't keep his hand out of a cookie jar.
They had a routine, a system, a plan. Akechi kills, he hides. It's so fucking simple and yet-
Much like the Phantom Thieves, it's never an easy venture. Ignored maps, chests, swarms of enemies they can't handle provoked by an idiot stepping out of line-
Maruki hits the ground just as Akechi resigned to dig his blade into the side of the flailing creature instead of wasting Robin Hood's limited stamina - a plan ruined the second he hears 'No'.
It's his own fault and the consequences are immediate. Good. It's a fucking lesson.
Coiled and taut, his voice does nothing to hide his irritation. He doesn't lean down to pick up Maruki or assist. Doesn't check if there's an injury. No -
Get up or die. ]
I would ask what you were thinking, but there's clearly nothing happening in your head right now.
[Robin Hood is at its limit - summoned anyway as a last resort to a beast Akechi could kill with a dagger, if he wasn't standing guard near some limp limbed idiot who felt like his power of giving a cognitive lesson could defeat a monster.
He pushes Maruki's leg with his foot - half tempted to kick him out of the battle, right into the damp, desolate alleyway he should have been holing up in.
Except-
No. It's time to learn and while Maruki may be fond of coddling, Akechi isn't. Even with his act a thin veneer in the midst of this nightmare, it's still there. His voice is light. Doesn't match his words and there's a clear displeasure under the airy, strained tone.]
Now since you're so eager, let's start your first lesson - get the hell up.
The one goddamn thing he required of Maruki brushed aside. A petulant child that can't keep his hand out of a cookie jar.
They had a routine, a system, a plan. Akechi kills, he hides. It's so fucking simple and yet-
Much like the Phantom Thieves, it's never an easy venture. Ignored maps, chests, swarms of enemies they can't handle provoked by an idiot stepping out of line-
Maruki hits the ground just as Akechi resigned to dig his blade into the side of the flailing creature instead of wasting Robin Hood's limited stamina - a plan ruined the second he hears 'No'.
It's his own fault and the consequences are immediate. Good. It's a fucking lesson.
Coiled and taut, his voice does nothing to hide his irritation. He doesn't lean down to pick up Maruki or assist. Doesn't check if there's an injury. No -
Get up or die. ]
I would ask what you were thinking, but there's clearly nothing happening in your head right now.
[Robin Hood is at its limit - summoned anyway as a last resort to a beast Akechi could kill with a dagger, if he wasn't standing guard near some limp limbed idiot who felt like his power of giving a cognitive lesson could defeat a monster.
He pushes Maruki's leg with his foot - half tempted to kick him out of the battle, right into the damp, desolate alleyway he should have been holing up in.
Except-
No. It's time to learn and while Maruki may be fond of coddling, Akechi isn't. Even with his act a thin veneer in the midst of this nightmare, it's still there. His voice is light. Doesn't match his words and there's a clear displeasure under the airy, strained tone.]
Now since you're so eager, let's start your first lesson - get the hell up.
[ Oh, he deserves every bit of Akechi's thinly veiled ire that he gets and he's fully aware of that.
Watching a fight from a safe distance is one thing – lets him take mental notes on things to ask about later, lets him theorize and strategize in between cowering for safety. But being in the fight itself–
Akechi's right. There's nothing at all going on in his head. His mind is a perfect blank slate.
Terrifying.
Ideal for learning.
He gapes up at Akechi for a moment longer before his body acts on instinct, following instructions, fighting to keep him alive even if and when his mind won't. He rises unsteadily to his feet, glasses askew, clothes damp with the standing water that gathers in parts of the city as infrastructure breaks down and blood and viscera, breath coming almost rapid enough to be hysterical– but he's standing all the same.
The handle of the dagger stings against his palm, the skin torn to shreds from where they had to skid and stumble through obliterated structures. He grips it tighter anyway.
He's not a fighter. He never has been.
He has to be now.
Yours would only need to be used in the event of my incapacitation or if we're separated.
Hilarious. Here they are, side by side, and Akechi's going to make him use it anyway.
Maruki's voice is rough, strained. Hoarse from shouting over death and destruction for nearly two days straight. ]
Akechi.
[ It's asking so much of this young man, to teach him to fight with weapons physical and cognitive alike, and Maruki has never been in the habit of asking much of anyone at all – but there is some strange bond forged here between them, the only two from their reality, the only two with the powers they have, the only two alive in this whole godforsaken false city.
Maruki trusts him. Implicitly. And he knows he will find a way to pay back everything he's asked of Akechi and more. ]
Show me what to do.
Watching a fight from a safe distance is one thing – lets him take mental notes on things to ask about later, lets him theorize and strategize in between cowering for safety. But being in the fight itself–
Akechi's right. There's nothing at all going on in his head. His mind is a perfect blank slate.
Terrifying.
Ideal for learning.
He gapes up at Akechi for a moment longer before his body acts on instinct, following instructions, fighting to keep him alive even if and when his mind won't. He rises unsteadily to his feet, glasses askew, clothes damp with the standing water that gathers in parts of the city as infrastructure breaks down and blood and viscera, breath coming almost rapid enough to be hysterical– but he's standing all the same.
The handle of the dagger stings against his palm, the skin torn to shreds from where they had to skid and stumble through obliterated structures. He grips it tighter anyway.
He's not a fighter. He never has been.
He has to be now.
Yours would only need to be used in the event of my incapacitation or if we're separated.
Hilarious. Here they are, side by side, and Akechi's going to make him use it anyway.
Maruki's voice is rough, strained. Hoarse from shouting over death and destruction for nearly two days straight. ]
Akechi.
[ It's asking so much of this young man, to teach him to fight with weapons physical and cognitive alike, and Maruki has never been in the habit of asking much of anyone at all – but there is some strange bond forged here between them, the only two from their reality, the only two with the powers they have, the only two alive in this whole godforsaken false city.
Maruki trusts him. Implicitly. And he knows he will find a way to pay back everything he's asked of Akechi and more. ]
Show me what to do.
[Color him surprised.
A resolve appearing in this unexperienced man - a reminder that a persona awakened in his spirit, however tempered he acts. There's rebellion. There's drive. There's power.
It reminds him -
Of cards floating against his skull in the middle of a warped casino - the specific sort of elation that came with standing beside someone with the same fiery temperament, no matter how twisted their paths were from one another. Nothing stopped Joker until the bitter, painful end.
And nothing will stop Akechi. Nothing will stop Maruki.
The honorific dropped - a new sensation forged in that sudden respect, in affection, in trust, in a friend.
He wants to throw up. Says nothing about it. Steels himself to face a cornered, injured creature. Listens to his companion's tone.
There's an authority in Akechi's voice that hasn't existed in months - firm and wound. Coiled with ire. Unraveling slowly into a tempered calm. ]
It's weakened, but don't let your guard down. You've been watching the fights - you know their attack and defense patterns. Don't psych yourself out.
[A bloodied dagger points towards a mark on the creature's neck - battered by Robin Hood and Akechi alike. Skin ripped, flayed open to pinky flesh and blue veins. A final blow is needed.]
Hit the weak point and end this. I'll make sure the creature is distracted, but if you don't commit -
[His stance doesn't change - only his gaze shifts to the side to watch. Maruki has proven himself in some ways. Disproven in others. Killing is a whole new level - shadow, monster or person. No persona to blame. The blood will be on his hands.]
We both die. Robin Hood is out of stamina. This is up to you now.
[In truth, Akechi will be able to eviscerate the creature before either one of them is ruined. Robin Hood still has a bit of SP left to use.
It's a matter of seeing how far Maruki is willing to go.]
Are you ready, Maruki?
A resolve appearing in this unexperienced man - a reminder that a persona awakened in his spirit, however tempered he acts. There's rebellion. There's drive. There's power.
It reminds him -
Of cards floating against his skull in the middle of a warped casino - the specific sort of elation that came with standing beside someone with the same fiery temperament, no matter how twisted their paths were from one another. Nothing stopped Joker until the bitter, painful end.
And nothing will stop Akechi. Nothing will stop Maruki.
The honorific dropped - a new sensation forged in that sudden respect, in affection, in trust, in a friend.
He wants to throw up. Says nothing about it. Steels himself to face a cornered, injured creature. Listens to his companion's tone.
There's an authority in Akechi's voice that hasn't existed in months - firm and wound. Coiled with ire. Unraveling slowly into a tempered calm. ]
It's weakened, but don't let your guard down. You've been watching the fights - you know their attack and defense patterns. Don't psych yourself out.
[A bloodied dagger points towards a mark on the creature's neck - battered by Robin Hood and Akechi alike. Skin ripped, flayed open to pinky flesh and blue veins. A final blow is needed.]
Hit the weak point and end this. I'll make sure the creature is distracted, but if you don't commit -
[His stance doesn't change - only his gaze shifts to the side to watch. Maruki has proven himself in some ways. Disproven in others. Killing is a whole new level - shadow, monster or person. No persona to blame. The blood will be on his hands.]
We both die. Robin Hood is out of stamina. This is up to you now.
[In truth, Akechi will be able to eviscerate the creature before either one of them is ruined. Robin Hood still has a bit of SP left to use.
It's a matter of seeing how far Maruki is willing to go.]
Are you ready, Maruki?
[ There is no part of him that wants to kill, or even to hurt. Person, monster, shadow that he hasn't witnessed yet. None of them deserve pain, especially not at his hand.
Prior to the events in the labyrinth, he would have said – in total honesty, with every ounce of conviction burning in his heart – that he would rather die than ever harm another creature.
Things change. Maybe he wasn't committed quite so completely to those words.
If you don't commit, we both die.
It's easy to think you'll lay down and accept defeat until the possibility is presented to you for the first time. You can't possibly know what other reserves of strength and viciousness you can draw from until they're revealed to you by force. ]
Yes. I'm ready.
[ Maruki hesitates only for half a moment more, just long enough to send a thought of forgiveness into the primordial chaos of the universe in the hopes that it will one day be returned to him, and then he closes in to slash at the creature's gouged neck.
Two problems with this immediately become apparent:
The dagger is short. He has to move in close. Very close.
And for all the rebellion coursing through his body from its origin point in that cavernous space at the back of his mind, he lacks the finesse of actual skill.
The blade makes contact. Painful contact, by the way the creature shrieks and convulses, the fresh blood that spurts out – but it's not deadly contact at all. And it pisses the thing off.
He jerks away from its snapping jaw as it flails in blind pain, practically trips over his own feet as he does, and so puts himself right in the path of the danger he doesn't see.
Its arm suffered the brunt of one of Robin Hood's attacks, then took the weight of its collapse. It's burnt, skin and muscle tattered, a massive bone piercing through sickly scaled flesh, but the creature has involuntary survival instincts too. It tries to bring the arm down with its usual force, enough for claws to shred through steel with ease. It can't. It's dying. It's weak.
But weak doesn't mean harmless. A claw catches Maruki's right shoulder on the downswing, gouges into it and partway down his back, rips an inhuman sound from somewhere deep in his soul, the likes of which he's only ever heard once, and it wasn't from his own mouth–
He's never felt such pain in his life, never thought it possible. Beyond all senses. It burns so bright-hot that it goes dark and dead almost instantly, like his body wasn't meant to process that much pain at once and simply shuts that part of his mind down. He must be bleeding. His shirt must be shredded. He can't feel any of it. He can't move that arm. He can't move at all, stunlocked by his own shock.
And he's furious.
To be so useless in a fight that he couldn't even follow the patterns he'd been observing for days– to have powers that he didn't even know he could use ripped from him before he could ever learn to defend himself or anyone else– to have been out of the house when the robbers came– to have been too late returning to be any help at all– to know that even if he had been present, he would have been overpowered, maimed alongside Rumi or killed alongside her parents like the pathetic nobody that he was– to be here, now, in this bullshit reality within a reality, so far from everything he knows, every scrap of control he managed to learn and seize with his own two hands–
His left hand grabs the dagger from his useless right and plunges it, inelegant and unskilled and backed by nothing but outrage to live, directly into the creature's exposed veins.
It all happens quickly. Nearly instantaneously. The original hit, the injury, the kill. A suspended moment in time he'll never forget, and over before he's even realized that it's happened to him at all.
Maruki rips the dagger out, drops it, staggers back. Grabs his shoulder. Feels blood beneath his palm, between his fingers. Stares wild and silent at Akechi, changed. ]
Prior to the events in the labyrinth, he would have said – in total honesty, with every ounce of conviction burning in his heart – that he would rather die than ever harm another creature.
Things change. Maybe he wasn't committed quite so completely to those words.
If you don't commit, we both die.
It's easy to think you'll lay down and accept defeat until the possibility is presented to you for the first time. You can't possibly know what other reserves of strength and viciousness you can draw from until they're revealed to you by force. ]
Yes. I'm ready.
[ Maruki hesitates only for half a moment more, just long enough to send a thought of forgiveness into the primordial chaos of the universe in the hopes that it will one day be returned to him, and then he closes in to slash at the creature's gouged neck.
Two problems with this immediately become apparent:
The dagger is short. He has to move in close. Very close.
And for all the rebellion coursing through his body from its origin point in that cavernous space at the back of his mind, he lacks the finesse of actual skill.
The blade makes contact. Painful contact, by the way the creature shrieks and convulses, the fresh blood that spurts out – but it's not deadly contact at all. And it pisses the thing off.
He jerks away from its snapping jaw as it flails in blind pain, practically trips over his own feet as he does, and so puts himself right in the path of the danger he doesn't see.
Its arm suffered the brunt of one of Robin Hood's attacks, then took the weight of its collapse. It's burnt, skin and muscle tattered, a massive bone piercing through sickly scaled flesh, but the creature has involuntary survival instincts too. It tries to bring the arm down with its usual force, enough for claws to shred through steel with ease. It can't. It's dying. It's weak.
But weak doesn't mean harmless. A claw catches Maruki's right shoulder on the downswing, gouges into it and partway down his back, rips an inhuman sound from somewhere deep in his soul, the likes of which he's only ever heard once, and it wasn't from his own mouth–
He's never felt such pain in his life, never thought it possible. Beyond all senses. It burns so bright-hot that it goes dark and dead almost instantly, like his body wasn't meant to process that much pain at once and simply shuts that part of his mind down. He must be bleeding. His shirt must be shredded. He can't feel any of it. He can't move that arm. He can't move at all, stunlocked by his own shock.
And he's furious.
To be so useless in a fight that he couldn't even follow the patterns he'd been observing for days– to have powers that he didn't even know he could use ripped from him before he could ever learn to defend himself or anyone else– to have been out of the house when the robbers came– to have been too late returning to be any help at all– to know that even if he had been present, he would have been overpowered, maimed alongside Rumi or killed alongside her parents like the pathetic nobody that he was– to be here, now, in this bullshit reality within a reality, so far from everything he knows, every scrap of control he managed to learn and seize with his own two hands–
His left hand grabs the dagger from his useless right and plunges it, inelegant and unskilled and backed by nothing but outrage to live, directly into the creature's exposed veins.
It all happens quickly. Nearly instantaneously. The original hit, the injury, the kill. A suspended moment in time he'll never forget, and over before he's even realized that it's happened to him at all.
Maruki rips the dagger out, drops it, staggers back. Grabs his shoulder. Feels blood beneath his palm, between his fingers. Stares wild and silent at Akechi, changed. ]
Edited 2024-05-29 22:17 (UTC)
[There's a minimal expectation of success and Maruki is set up to fail without knowing. These monsters are difficult even with Akechi's experience and it's a blood pounding, erratic, manic sensation that drives him into the flesh of every creature they can't navigate around.
He expects nothing - braces himself and the gnawing pressure of Robin Hood to act. Subdues it. Holds back. Does his part in distracting the beast and-
Maruki goes for it. Doesn't withhold any power or fall to hesitation. It's a beginners mistake that enrages the creature and Akechi doesn't warn on purpose. All of them are the same - a desire to live overriding reason, cornered and trapped in twisting streets. The man needs to learn - this is a make or break moment.
A curdling screech and a blow to his shoulder that blooms red against exposed skin. A desire to yell 'Heal yourself genius' tempered by their reality - no items, no healing skills and only a basic first aid kit picked up from some shitty rural marketplace.
An injury would stop a weaker person - one of that magnitude would paralyze a normal person. Earlier lies forced aside as he moves to finish the monster himself - the only expected outcome from this and-
Maruki isn't normal.
Not one bit.
A bitter realization that he had underestimated yet another person in his life as the writhing suffering creature takes its final breath. Maruki did it and-
That wild look is met with something manic in Akechi's own vision. A blood drenched altruist - a pacifist, the traditional hero who wants to heal, to save, to create new life in healed minds-
Ripping life from something else. Falling down, down, down into the trenches with him. Willingly.
Akechi laughs - frayed and free. A hand weaving through his own disgusting hair to tug, reframe, redirect, get back and-
He smiles - a semblance of genuine on the edges as his hand drops.]
Nice one. I'm impressed - you did well, despite your inability to dodge.
[A soul dissipates into dust to settle deep in his chest and-
It's his turn to assess the damage. A creature dead - distant rumbles the sound of reprieve. A man alive, ripped free from the last stand of another.
The damage is rough - he can't see how deep the wound is and knows it's a miracle it didn't rip through his body. If he died, Akechi wouldn't have batted an eye.
He tries to ignore the way his head pounds when he thinks about it two seconds longer. Grips Maruki's forearm to steady him because he knows adrenaline overrides only for a short time and then-]
There's a department store to the right - let's go. We're taking a break.
He expects nothing - braces himself and the gnawing pressure of Robin Hood to act. Subdues it. Holds back. Does his part in distracting the beast and-
Maruki goes for it. Doesn't withhold any power or fall to hesitation. It's a beginners mistake that enrages the creature and Akechi doesn't warn on purpose. All of them are the same - a desire to live overriding reason, cornered and trapped in twisting streets. The man needs to learn - this is a make or break moment.
A curdling screech and a blow to his shoulder that blooms red against exposed skin. A desire to yell 'Heal yourself genius' tempered by their reality - no items, no healing skills and only a basic first aid kit picked up from some shitty rural marketplace.
An injury would stop a weaker person - one of that magnitude would paralyze a normal person. Earlier lies forced aside as he moves to finish the monster himself - the only expected outcome from this and-
Maruki isn't normal.
Not one bit.
A bitter realization that he had underestimated yet another person in his life as the writhing suffering creature takes its final breath. Maruki did it and-
That wild look is met with something manic in Akechi's own vision. A blood drenched altruist - a pacifist, the traditional hero who wants to heal, to save, to create new life in healed minds-
Ripping life from something else. Falling down, down, down into the trenches with him. Willingly.
Akechi laughs - frayed and free. A hand weaving through his own disgusting hair to tug, reframe, redirect, get back and-
He smiles - a semblance of genuine on the edges as his hand drops.]
Nice one. I'm impressed - you did well, despite your inability to dodge.
[A soul dissipates into dust to settle deep in his chest and-
It's his turn to assess the damage. A creature dead - distant rumbles the sound of reprieve. A man alive, ripped free from the last stand of another.
The damage is rough - he can't see how deep the wound is and knows it's a miracle it didn't rip through his body. If he died, Akechi wouldn't have batted an eye.
He tries to ignore the way his head pounds when he thinks about it two seconds longer. Grips Maruki's forearm to steady him because he knows adrenaline overrides only for a short time and then-]
There's a department store to the right - let's go. We're taking a break.
[ Akechi laughs– he laughs.
Delirious. Exhausted. Pained beyond comprehension. Barely conscious of his own actions. Proud, somehow, and shy under the sincere sounding praise.
He takes the stability of Akechi holding his arm gratefully and nods, breathless, chest heaving.
One battle under his belt and he needs a break. That's not ideal. But it's definitely necessary, more than necessary, he can't manage to form words around the sheer burning down his back.
The dagger. Eren told him to bring it back in good condition. He stoops to grab it before they stagger off, then his abandoned satchel dropped in the fight, then nothing. Only gritting his teeth and trying to temper his breath and following alongside Akechi into safety, again.
A department store is a pretty ideal safe haven, far better than that shit convenience store. There's probably a lot here they could use. There's certainly better cover. He doesn't know. All he can do is put one foot in front of the other until Akechi stops them, then drops down to kneel wherever that is.
He thinks, unbidden, of Venat. That healing magic in the garden.
Who knows if the same logic applies to their manifestations? Not Maruki. He has no idea. But he looks up at Akechi anyway, squinting through the pain, and grins unsteadily. ]
I don't suppose Robin Hood has a support mode?
Delirious. Exhausted. Pained beyond comprehension. Barely conscious of his own actions. Proud, somehow, and shy under the sincere sounding praise.
He takes the stability of Akechi holding his arm gratefully and nods, breathless, chest heaving.
One battle under his belt and he needs a break. That's not ideal. But it's definitely necessary, more than necessary, he can't manage to form words around the sheer burning down his back.
The dagger. Eren told him to bring it back in good condition. He stoops to grab it before they stagger off, then his abandoned satchel dropped in the fight, then nothing. Only gritting his teeth and trying to temper his breath and following alongside Akechi into safety, again.
A department store is a pretty ideal safe haven, far better than that shit convenience store. There's probably a lot here they could use. There's certainly better cover. He doesn't know. All he can do is put one foot in front of the other until Akechi stops them, then drops down to kneel wherever that is.
He thinks, unbidden, of Venat. That healing magic in the garden.
Who knows if the same logic applies to their manifestations? Not Maruki. He has no idea. But he looks up at Akechi anyway, squinting through the pain, and grins unsteadily. ]
I don't suppose Robin Hood has a support mode?
That would be too convenient, wouldn't it?
[Light and airy, like they're settled across a counter enjoying dinner and talking about something mundane - people, places or a shared nostalgia.
With Maruki settled on a disgusting floor - clothes, cosmetics and everything else strewn in places it shouldn't, Akechi goes behind a checkout counter to scavenge. Their first aid kit is limited and every passing day is a reminder to ration.
An old water bottle freckled with plastic residue. Sealed, iffy, but useable. A single band aid with floral print. No kit. He takes both and a hideous lime green scarf.]
No, my persona has no capability to heal and even if it did, I wasn't lying about being out of stamina. Robin Hood might have one more attack left, if we're fortunate.
[Grim reminders of reality. Akechi's at his limit - nearly two days with near constant battles enough to run him ragged.
It's not comfort that settles in the pit of his stomach as he takes stock of Maruki's injury. It's nothing. It's-
A blood soaked back serving as a permanent, persistent reminder that he isn't battling alone. That he isn't the only one willing to fight, to kill, to survive. That there's no argument over sanctity of fake realities and lives when they're both in the trenches.
He wants to be alone and-
Akechi's never been gentle. Isn't a doctor. All his skills come from youtube videos after agonizing palace escapes and makeshift cures with salvaged supplies.
Maruki knew what to do.
And so, Akechi remembers and relives that lesson like the videos he used to watch in the middle of night to wind down.
Water on lime green cloth, press it against the injury - rinse, repeat, wipe until it's only speckles of flesh shining through clotting veins. He isn't gentle by nature, but he makes an attempt to not do to Maruki what he would do to himself. Unpracticed, rough, but not uncompassionate.]
We'll need to reassess our plan later.
[Lime green speckled and stained - the design looks better. Wearable, in a hilarious way.
He holds a hand out - a silent request for the satchel while the mental video is paused in his mind.]
After we eat, drink and rest. You'll be sleeping first.
[Light and airy, like they're settled across a counter enjoying dinner and talking about something mundane - people, places or a shared nostalgia.
With Maruki settled on a disgusting floor - clothes, cosmetics and everything else strewn in places it shouldn't, Akechi goes behind a checkout counter to scavenge. Their first aid kit is limited and every passing day is a reminder to ration.
An old water bottle freckled with plastic residue. Sealed, iffy, but useable. A single band aid with floral print. No kit. He takes both and a hideous lime green scarf.]
No, my persona has no capability to heal and even if it did, I wasn't lying about being out of stamina. Robin Hood might have one more attack left, if we're fortunate.
[Grim reminders of reality. Akechi's at his limit - nearly two days with near constant battles enough to run him ragged.
It's not comfort that settles in the pit of his stomach as he takes stock of Maruki's injury. It's nothing. It's-
A blood soaked back serving as a permanent, persistent reminder that he isn't battling alone. That he isn't the only one willing to fight, to kill, to survive. That there's no argument over sanctity of fake realities and lives when they're both in the trenches.
He wants to be alone and-
Akechi's never been gentle. Isn't a doctor. All his skills come from youtube videos after agonizing palace escapes and makeshift cures with salvaged supplies.
Maruki knew what to do.
And so, Akechi remembers and relives that lesson like the videos he used to watch in the middle of night to wind down.
Water on lime green cloth, press it against the injury - rinse, repeat, wipe until it's only speckles of flesh shining through clotting veins. He isn't gentle by nature, but he makes an attempt to not do to Maruki what he would do to himself. Unpracticed, rough, but not uncompassionate.]
We'll need to reassess our plan later.
[Lime green speckled and stained - the design looks better. Wearable, in a hilarious way.
He holds a hand out - a silent request for the satchel while the mental video is paused in his mind.]
After we eat, drink and rest. You'll be sleeping first.
Persona.
[ Quiet, mostly to himself. So that's what they're called.
He likes it. He'd like to read up on theory behind it, if it existed. Maybe it does. Maybe he hasn't been looking in the right places.
He can't think hard enough right now to distract himself from the pain.
Despite everything, he still startles when Akechi crouches next to him and begins to work on his back. An involuntary hiss of pain at the first touch, but that's all he'll allow himself, determined to take this on the nose. There is a bitter, spiteful corner of his mind churning through the list of people who have implied his weakness during his short time in Somnius. Undoubtedly his reality is softer than almost all of theirs, but that has never meant that he's weak. He won't let their assessment of him win.
When Akechi gestures for the kit, he hands it over. When Akechi tells him he'll be sleeping first, he nods. No argument, no desire to do so. Maruki is a good patient. And Akechi isn't as terrible at this as he might think.
Maruki didn't have to ask for the help, and Akechi didn't offer. They simply fell into a strange sort of partnership. Forced by their circumstances, sure, but. That isn't lost on him. Not at all.
He breathes evenly, eyes closed, counting out his breaths to try to slow his heart and relax even a bit. Doesn't mention anything about the plan yet. Neither of their minds are in the right place. Food, water, rest. Survive. How much longer will they be here? It doesn't matter. They'll survive.
He shifts to sit on the floor properly while Akechi is rooting through the kit, pulls one knee up, drapes his good arm and rests his chin on it. Speaks slowly as Akechi works to patch him up, his usual chatty nature subdued. ]
I wonder if mine will have the ability. I feel like it would make sense, considering the manifestation of will, but...
[ But Azathoth already shares a larger goal with him. Their persecuted ideology.
He shrugs his good shoulder, shakes his head. All the adrenaline this time went to keeping him upright and fighting after injury, and he's openly exhausted, unable to feign otherwise.
Which is strange in his own right. So long spent playing at being the perfect counselor, staid and upright, with energy to spare for everyone and no woes of his own – and so little significant contact with others outside of the job – has left him used to the role. He can't remember who he last felt comfortable enough around to let it drop.
He tries to glance back at what Akechi's doing but can only see the top of his own gouged shoulder, not the bulk of the damage that he can now feel all too keenly. ]
How bad is it?
[ He doesn't sound frightened, or panicked, or anxious. Merely curious. ]
[ Quiet, mostly to himself. So that's what they're called.
He likes it. He'd like to read up on theory behind it, if it existed. Maybe it does. Maybe he hasn't been looking in the right places.
He can't think hard enough right now to distract himself from the pain.
Despite everything, he still startles when Akechi crouches next to him and begins to work on his back. An involuntary hiss of pain at the first touch, but that's all he'll allow himself, determined to take this on the nose. There is a bitter, spiteful corner of his mind churning through the list of people who have implied his weakness during his short time in Somnius. Undoubtedly his reality is softer than almost all of theirs, but that has never meant that he's weak. He won't let their assessment of him win.
When Akechi gestures for the kit, he hands it over. When Akechi tells him he'll be sleeping first, he nods. No argument, no desire to do so. Maruki is a good patient. And Akechi isn't as terrible at this as he might think.
Maruki didn't have to ask for the help, and Akechi didn't offer. They simply fell into a strange sort of partnership. Forced by their circumstances, sure, but. That isn't lost on him. Not at all.
He breathes evenly, eyes closed, counting out his breaths to try to slow his heart and relax even a bit. Doesn't mention anything about the plan yet. Neither of their minds are in the right place. Food, water, rest. Survive. How much longer will they be here? It doesn't matter. They'll survive.
He shifts to sit on the floor properly while Akechi is rooting through the kit, pulls one knee up, drapes his good arm and rests his chin on it. Speaks slowly as Akechi works to patch him up, his usual chatty nature subdued. ]
I wonder if mine will have the ability. I feel like it would make sense, considering the manifestation of will, but...
[ But Azathoth already shares a larger goal with him. Their persecuted ideology.
He shrugs his good shoulder, shakes his head. All the adrenaline this time went to keeping him upright and fighting after injury, and he's openly exhausted, unable to feign otherwise.
Which is strange in his own right. So long spent playing at being the perfect counselor, staid and upright, with energy to spare for everyone and no woes of his own – and so little significant contact with others outside of the job – has left him used to the role. He can't remember who he last felt comfortable enough around to let it drop.
He tries to glance back at what Akechi's doing but can only see the top of his own gouged shoulder, not the bulk of the damage that he can now feel all too keenly. ]
How bad is it?
[ He doesn't sound frightened, or panicked, or anxious. Merely curious. ]
Edited (jesus that one sentence really got mangled huh) 2024-05-30 00:49 (UTC)
[Akechi doesn't want to ruin the imagery Maruki has in his mind - behind the healer is a fighter. A killer. A man soaked in blood that isn't his. The persona may have a healing skill or it may-
Rip itself through body and spirt, claw through his chest and tear apart a perceived ego to reveal the truth in dark flames.
The video rewinds. Starts again - Maruki had done alcohol wipes next and the small squares seem like a pathetic mockery to an exposed gash - raw and deep. He might need stiches - Akechi could try. He did them on himself, watched a video, but-
He mulls the thought around until the alcohol stings his nose. He's not a fucking doctor - this is all to upkeep an image anyway. A prince should care and assist when needed. There's no chance Maruki could do this on his own and thus, he has to step in.
Nothing more.]
It's awful. [Pause, and-] This will hurt, but you can handle it. Bear it and bite down on this - [A shitty polka dot blouse is tossed over the good shoulder, right into his lap. A way to cut his teeth.] - if it's too much.
[Still airy and neutral, he waits until there's some kind of acknowledgement of what's about to happen before-
Maruki's hunched form twists. Shifts. Reminds of him of being pressed against the wall of a safe room - back when injuries made tears prick at the edge of his vision. When he pressed salves and alcohol into wounds that needed immediate attention because the trek to lower levels was treacherous. When he would press his palms deep in his eyes until blooms of color appeared in dark lids because it hurt and -
Even if it did, everything healed the second he left the Metaverse. Maruki won't have that luxury.
Akechi pauses - silent, tired and-]
There's no shame in feeling pain. You'll get used to it, in time.
[He unwraps another wipe, intent on using both hands to work fast.]
Are you ready?
Rip itself through body and spirt, claw through his chest and tear apart a perceived ego to reveal the truth in dark flames.
The video rewinds. Starts again - Maruki had done alcohol wipes next and the small squares seem like a pathetic mockery to an exposed gash - raw and deep. He might need stiches - Akechi could try. He did them on himself, watched a video, but-
He mulls the thought around until the alcohol stings his nose. He's not a fucking doctor - this is all to upkeep an image anyway. A prince should care and assist when needed. There's no chance Maruki could do this on his own and thus, he has to step in.
Nothing more.]
It's awful. [Pause, and-] This will hurt, but you can handle it. Bear it and bite down on this - [A shitty polka dot blouse is tossed over the good shoulder, right into his lap. A way to cut his teeth.] - if it's too much.
[Still airy and neutral, he waits until there's some kind of acknowledgement of what's about to happen before-
Maruki's hunched form twists. Shifts. Reminds of him of being pressed against the wall of a safe room - back when injuries made tears prick at the edge of his vision. When he pressed salves and alcohol into wounds that needed immediate attention because the trek to lower levels was treacherous. When he would press his palms deep in his eyes until blooms of color appeared in dark lids because it hurt and -
Even if it did, everything healed the second he left the Metaverse. Maruki won't have that luxury.
Akechi pauses - silent, tired and-]
There's no shame in feeling pain. You'll get used to it, in time.
[He unwraps another wipe, intent on using both hands to work fast.]
Are you ready?
[ No one has cared for him so selflessly in years.
Maruki takes the hideous blouse, balls it up in his fist. It's so incredibly surreal – his first fight, first major injury, first ally. Even if they weren't in an absurd B-movie knockoff warped cognition and even if he hadn't learned about the existence of their personas, it would still be surreal for those firsts alone.
And then those words, more befitting and ironic than Akechi will ever know.
The two sentiments lodge neatly next to one another in his mind. Venat, and now Akechi, flying in the face of everything he knows, fears, believes, is. Balancing some cosmic scale of his soul, even if he isn't fully aware of it yet. All he knows is that it's some strange sort of comfort that nestles itself deep in his sternum, despite how vehemently the very fabric of his soul disagrees. Maruki doesn't understand it. He doesn't need to.
He exhales, sets his jaw, nods.
He doesn't ever want to get used to pain, but he'll at least have to get through this. ]
Yeah. Thank you for doing this, seriously.
[ For real, one could even say.
Of course it hurts. It hurts like a bitch, worse than he could have anticipated, the full extent of the wound he can't see making itself suddenly known in blinding clarity. Panic starts to set in at the edges of his overtaxed mind: He doesn't even know if a rural shithole like Somnius has a proper medical facility where he can get this looked at and stitched up. He wants Tokyo, not this nameless decimated cityscape; clean and efficient and modern Tokyo, with its clinics and hospitals and drugstores.
He bites into the fabric bunched in his hand – it isn't enough, he winds it around his hand and bites down on that instead. Akechi was right, it acts as a solid anchor point, lets him steady himself as mortifying tears prick the corners of his eyes. He doesn't make a sound, just breathes harsh and feels his teeth pressing through the fabric, into his knuckles.
How much has Akechi been through in the cognitive world to not have reacted at all when Maruki did this for him?
Unfathomable. He doesn't want to know. He wants to know everything.
The burn and sting of the alcohol doesn't lessen so much as become predictable, the first swipes infinitely worse than what's followed, and as Akechi's finishing up he drops the blouse onto the dusty ground and pinches the corners of his eyes, beneath his glasses instead. Calm, soothing dark. A shuddering exhale and a sarcastic, uneven lilt to his voice when he speaks, trying desperately for any levity to distract. ]
Oh, I'm sure we both wish that either of us were stupid enough to take my potion now.
Maruki takes the hideous blouse, balls it up in his fist. It's so incredibly surreal – his first fight, first major injury, first ally. Even if they weren't in an absurd B-movie knockoff warped cognition and even if he hadn't learned about the existence of their personas, it would still be surreal for those firsts alone.
And then those words, more befitting and ironic than Akechi will ever know.
I shan't describe pain and suffering as good things. I shall, however, describe them as necessary things.
There's no shame in feeling pain. You'll get used to it, in time.
The two sentiments lodge neatly next to one another in his mind. Venat, and now Akechi, flying in the face of everything he knows, fears, believes, is. Balancing some cosmic scale of his soul, even if he isn't fully aware of it yet. All he knows is that it's some strange sort of comfort that nestles itself deep in his sternum, despite how vehemently the very fabric of his soul disagrees. Maruki doesn't understand it. He doesn't need to.
He exhales, sets his jaw, nods.
He doesn't ever want to get used to pain, but he'll at least have to get through this. ]
Yeah. Thank you for doing this, seriously.
[ For real, one could even say.
Of course it hurts. It hurts like a bitch, worse than he could have anticipated, the full extent of the wound he can't see making itself suddenly known in blinding clarity. Panic starts to set in at the edges of his overtaxed mind: He doesn't even know if a rural shithole like Somnius has a proper medical facility where he can get this looked at and stitched up. He wants Tokyo, not this nameless decimated cityscape; clean and efficient and modern Tokyo, with its clinics and hospitals and drugstores.
He bites into the fabric bunched in his hand – it isn't enough, he winds it around his hand and bites down on that instead. Akechi was right, it acts as a solid anchor point, lets him steady himself as mortifying tears prick the corners of his eyes. He doesn't make a sound, just breathes harsh and feels his teeth pressing through the fabric, into his knuckles.
How much has Akechi been through in the cognitive world to not have reacted at all when Maruki did this for him?
Unfathomable. He doesn't want to know. He wants to know everything.
The burn and sting of the alcohol doesn't lessen so much as become predictable, the first swipes infinitely worse than what's followed, and as Akechi's finishing up he drops the blouse onto the dusty ground and pinches the corners of his eyes, beneath his glasses instead. Calm, soothing dark. A shuddering exhale and a sarcastic, uneven lilt to his voice when he speaks, trying desperately for any levity to distract. ]
Oh, I'm sure we both wish that either of us were stupid enough to take my potion now.
[There's a brief concern Maruki might pass out. An annoying problem because he doesn't have the excess energy to roll a grown around the floor like a fucked up katamari to wrap bandages.
The thought doesn't make him relent. He continues to peel red tinted wipes from his gloved hands and open new ones until the wound is coated. They're down to a single digit amount of them now. An unpleasant thought. Maruki's next battle will have to be as a last resort. Dodging will be their first lesson outside of this shithole.
Back to the video - ointment. Gauze. Bandages. The little packets of treatment low in number - while Maruki recovers and talks, he squeezes the limited supply against small slips of gauze. Tries to rub the sides together for better coverage, even if it's thin. It needs to be on the wound, not bare skin. It's during this goddamn craft session he really hears that comment a few seconds after he originally said it and-
Akechi lets out a snort of a response. If he can fuck around like this, he's holding up better than he thought.]
I still have mine for bartering if you're so desperate. I'm thinking a plate of ebi nigiri and fatty tuna will suffice. [A beat.] Jagarico too.
[He continues to unravel, disperse, press little pieces of gauze against his shoulder and back - focusing on the worst parts. There won't be enough for the entire line.
Once Maruki's situated, he'll scavenge the room. A city likely has laws and standards for the working environment. An employee area somewhere should have more than a old, floral band-aid.
A rumble. A shake. It's far away - almost sounds like a looming storm rolling into the city. The final stand of upright cosmetics toppling to the ground with a sudden crash.]
Even as a joke, I can barely stomach the thought of taking it.
[The issue is-
Maruki may need it. The dungeon had done a number on his hands and while Akechi held out for the extent he could, it did require healing at the clinic. He didn't ask where the abilities originated. The additional concern of coming back to reality with marred skin that will ruin his status compelled him to do it. He can't risk it.]
You'll need to take off your shirt for me to wrap this effectively. I'll find another one for you afterwards - this one is a lost cause anyway.
The thought doesn't make him relent. He continues to peel red tinted wipes from his gloved hands and open new ones until the wound is coated. They're down to a single digit amount of them now. An unpleasant thought. Maruki's next battle will have to be as a last resort. Dodging will be their first lesson outside of this shithole.
Back to the video - ointment. Gauze. Bandages. The little packets of treatment low in number - while Maruki recovers and talks, he squeezes the limited supply against small slips of gauze. Tries to rub the sides together for better coverage, even if it's thin. It needs to be on the wound, not bare skin. It's during this goddamn craft session he really hears that comment a few seconds after he originally said it and-
Akechi lets out a snort of a response. If he can fuck around like this, he's holding up better than he thought.]
I still have mine for bartering if you're so desperate. I'm thinking a plate of ebi nigiri and fatty tuna will suffice. [A beat.] Jagarico too.
[He continues to unravel, disperse, press little pieces of gauze against his shoulder and back - focusing on the worst parts. There won't be enough for the entire line.
Once Maruki's situated, he'll scavenge the room. A city likely has laws and standards for the working environment. An employee area somewhere should have more than a old, floral band-aid.
A rumble. A shake. It's far away - almost sounds like a looming storm rolling into the city. The final stand of upright cosmetics toppling to the ground with a sudden crash.]
Even as a joke, I can barely stomach the thought of taking it.
[The issue is-
Maruki may need it. The dungeon had done a number on his hands and while Akechi held out for the extent he could, it did require healing at the clinic. He didn't ask where the abilities originated. The additional concern of coming back to reality with marred skin that will ruin his status compelled him to do it. He can't risk it.]
You'll need to take off your shirt for me to wrap this effectively. I'll find another one for you afterwards - this one is a lost cause anyway.
[ The comment about the sushi genuinely makes him laugh, strained as it is. The thought turns his stomach too. Especially knowing what their own powers could potentially do – ones so inherent to their very senses of self, always with them, just as Akechi said – he can't fathom ever accepting a "power" granted by this place.
That said, though... ]
Ah, you know Venat, right?
[ He does as Akechi says, begins unbuttoning his shirt and immediately regrets it. Sitting still and quiet is fine, not comfortable but fine, but the moment he starts to move, it's misery. His shoulder aches horribly with even that slight motion.
He pushes through it, undoes the shirt as he speaks, fingers shaking on the buttons. ]
She has inherent healing powers. And... Quite a lot more than that, if I'm understanding her tales correctly, but it's the healing that I have experience with. I might ask her to assist again.
[ Might. If he can work up the nerve. And if they make it out of this place.
No, they will. Maruki knows they will. Won't accept any reality but one in which they succeed in their goal. But it's going to be significantly more difficult now, with even this movement painful for him and Akechi's persona running on fumes. They don't know where they're going, have only been able to guess and mostly spent their days chasing their way to safety instead.
Maruki slips the shirt off, breathes. He bundles it in his hands, stares down at it. The back is in tatters, covered in blood. His own. He's never seen so much of it. Such a visceral, humbling, human thing.
He tosses it aside. A lost cause indeed.
The bandages will help. He'll sleep on his stomach. They'll rest as long as they can, rework their strategy, carry on. They must. ]
That said, though... ]
Ah, you know Venat, right?
[ He does as Akechi says, begins unbuttoning his shirt and immediately regrets it. Sitting still and quiet is fine, not comfortable but fine, but the moment he starts to move, it's misery. His shoulder aches horribly with even that slight motion.
He pushes through it, undoes the shirt as he speaks, fingers shaking on the buttons. ]
She has inherent healing powers. And... Quite a lot more than that, if I'm understanding her tales correctly, but it's the healing that I have experience with. I might ask her to assist again.
[ Might. If he can work up the nerve. And if they make it out of this place.
No, they will. Maruki knows they will. Won't accept any reality but one in which they succeed in their goal. But it's going to be significantly more difficult now, with even this movement painful for him and Akechi's persona running on fumes. They don't know where they're going, have only been able to guess and mostly spent their days chasing their way to safety instead.
Maruki slips the shirt off, breathes. He bundles it in his hands, stares down at it. The back is in tatters, covered in blood. His own. He's never seen so much of it. Such a visceral, humbling, human thing.
He tosses it aside. A lost cause indeed.
The bandages will help. He'll sleep on his stomach. They'll rest as long as they can, rework their strategy, carry on. They must. ]
Edited 2024-05-30 04:11 (UTC)
I'm certain she would. Venat is a kind individual - I doubt she would deny much without reason.
[Venat. A bizarre footnote in his own social circle. Feelings oscillate towards dislike and neutrality with every piece of information she provides. Her brand of logic, reasoning and calm-
Detestable. He can't stand it and-
The wound on his arm a pulsing, persistent annoyance he wants to keep with him awhile longer. A reminder of weakness and wrath towards a world that ripped his strength away.
The final piece of the mental video ends and Akechi plays musical body parts to finagle their remaining roll of bandages around him. He moves quickly, but doesn't seem to care that much about jostling him around. It's necessary. This isn't fun for him either.
And just like that -
Their roll of bandages is down to a pathetic nub. Maruki's injured. Robin Hood's on fumes and Akechi with it.
It doesn't look great, but there's something to thriving in adversity and this is a path he's traveled enough that his metaphorical shoes are worn to shreds. It's so fucking typical. Simple. All you do is keep going.
He slaps the dulled floral band aid to the edge of Maruki's injury - the smallest piece not covered by a true bandage out of spite, maybe, and-
Time to move again. He pushes himself up from the ground - presses his hands against his thighs to force his upper body up when his muscles ache. Shirt. Food. Drink. Supplies.]
You'll have to be on your own for a moment. I'm going to look around and don't plan to be gone long.
[A shuffle to the crumpled up, bloody shirt to get the size on a crimson tinted tag. An exact size will be impossible, but he needs to know how far to deviate. Akechi doesn't want to fuck around with it too much and-
It's tossed again - further and into a pile of forgotten jeans.]
If I may suggest, please take the time to get some sleep. There's nothing around us and should be safe for the foreseeable future.
[Venat. A bizarre footnote in his own social circle. Feelings oscillate towards dislike and neutrality with every piece of information she provides. Her brand of logic, reasoning and calm-
Detestable. He can't stand it and-
The wound on his arm a pulsing, persistent annoyance he wants to keep with him awhile longer. A reminder of weakness and wrath towards a world that ripped his strength away.
The final piece of the mental video ends and Akechi plays musical body parts to finagle their remaining roll of bandages around him. He moves quickly, but doesn't seem to care that much about jostling him around. It's necessary. This isn't fun for him either.
And just like that -
Their roll of bandages is down to a pathetic nub. Maruki's injured. Robin Hood's on fumes and Akechi with it.
It doesn't look great, but there's something to thriving in adversity and this is a path he's traveled enough that his metaphorical shoes are worn to shreds. It's so fucking typical. Simple. All you do is keep going.
He slaps the dulled floral band aid to the edge of Maruki's injury - the smallest piece not covered by a true bandage out of spite, maybe, and-
Time to move again. He pushes himself up from the ground - presses his hands against his thighs to force his upper body up when his muscles ache. Shirt. Food. Drink. Supplies.]
You'll have to be on your own for a moment. I'm going to look around and don't plan to be gone long.
[A shuffle to the crumpled up, bloody shirt to get the size on a crimson tinted tag. An exact size will be impossible, but he needs to know how far to deviate. Akechi doesn't want to fuck around with it too much and-
It's tossed again - further and into a pile of forgotten jeans.]
If I may suggest, please take the time to get some sleep. There's nothing around us and should be safe for the foreseeable future.
Edited (w o r d s ) 2024-05-30 04:48 (UTC)
[ Maruki doesn't mind the jostling – it's a lot of wrapping that needs to be done, he had a much easier time with Akechi's arm.
How incredibly strange, each of them with wounds tended by the other. Before this, they'd joked about an okonomiyaki room. Somehow they're still coming through it alive, mostly intact, and together.
He draws a deep breath, tests the way his wound aches as his chest expansion puts pressure on the bandages. It isn't bad. It hurts like he can't even describe, but the numbing ointment on the gauze helps, and the stability of the wrap does too. He'll make it. They both will.
Maruki nods along with his advice, can't even bring himself to offer to take a look around too. He can do that when they trade off in a couple hours. For now, his whole body is bruised and battered and desperate for even the temporary reprieve of sleep.
He gets to his feet for only a moment, just long enough to cross over to a disheveled pile of clearance clothes. He kicks it to spread it out more, unwilling to bend or move his arms much unless he absolutely must, until the pile has been dispersed enough to still provide a semi-soft cushion from the floor but more resemble a shape a grown man of their height could comfortably lay on. It'll do.
It's an awkward, inelegant movement that makes him laugh at himself, dropping down to his knees and then slowly lowering himself down face first. After a moment of attempting to adjust, he rolls onto his left side, cradles the other arm across his chest to try to give his injured shoulder some support. That's as good as it will get.
He doesn't know where Akechi is in the store, lost sight of him during his pathetic shuffle. But he can hear him rustling about, so he hasn't gone far.
Maruki raises his voice to ensure he hears it. With how exhausted he is, the sincerity normally present in his tone isn't quite so earnestly cloying. He still clearly means what he says, but it's plainly stated, factual rather than sentimental. ]
Akechi. Thank you. I won't ever forget your kindness tonight.
[ A kindness that involved goading him into killing a monstrous creature the likes of which they'll hopefully never see again, but kindness all the same.
A vibration through the floor from the distant rumblings, buildings collapsing, monsters stalking. Not close enough to fear. They'll be fine. Or they won't, and they'll fight their way through. Simple.
Maruki closes his eyes, and he's out before Akechi returns. ]
How incredibly strange, each of them with wounds tended by the other. Before this, they'd joked about an okonomiyaki room. Somehow they're still coming through it alive, mostly intact, and together.
He draws a deep breath, tests the way his wound aches as his chest expansion puts pressure on the bandages. It isn't bad. It hurts like he can't even describe, but the numbing ointment on the gauze helps, and the stability of the wrap does too. He'll make it. They both will.
Maruki nods along with his advice, can't even bring himself to offer to take a look around too. He can do that when they trade off in a couple hours. For now, his whole body is bruised and battered and desperate for even the temporary reprieve of sleep.
He gets to his feet for only a moment, just long enough to cross over to a disheveled pile of clearance clothes. He kicks it to spread it out more, unwilling to bend or move his arms much unless he absolutely must, until the pile has been dispersed enough to still provide a semi-soft cushion from the floor but more resemble a shape a grown man of their height could comfortably lay on. It'll do.
It's an awkward, inelegant movement that makes him laugh at himself, dropping down to his knees and then slowly lowering himself down face first. After a moment of attempting to adjust, he rolls onto his left side, cradles the other arm across his chest to try to give his injured shoulder some support. That's as good as it will get.
He doesn't know where Akechi is in the store, lost sight of him during his pathetic shuffle. But he can hear him rustling about, so he hasn't gone far.
Maruki raises his voice to ensure he hears it. With how exhausted he is, the sincerity normally present in his tone isn't quite so earnestly cloying. He still clearly means what he says, but it's plainly stated, factual rather than sentimental. ]
Akechi. Thank you. I won't ever forget your kindness tonight.
[ A kindness that involved goading him into killing a monstrous creature the likes of which they'll hopefully never see again, but kindness all the same.
A vibration through the floor from the distant rumblings, buildings collapsing, monsters stalking. Not close enough to fear. They'll be fine. Or they won't, and they'll fight their way through. Simple.
Maruki closes his eyes, and he's out before Akechi returns. ]
Edited 2024-05-30 05:35 (UTC)
[Eren is rarely nervous to face people, but he’s nervous as fuck about this! Hates that. Maybe hates Maruki a bit by association, but that won’t stop him.]
Hey.
Instead of bringing you your normal meal today, I have something else. You won’t like it, though.[Poison?]
Hey.
Instead of bringing you your normal meal today, I have something else. You won’t like it, though.
[SAY NO, MARUKI.
[He doesn’t respond; just rides over (has Maruki met his horse yet?). He posts Elke outside and knocks on the door, package in hand. He’s not all that great at hiding his emotions when they’re high, but he’s found that shifting into that cold, empty state “helps”. Great habit to learn. But it isn’t hard to feel that way these days. He keeps himself neutral and subdued as he waits.]
[He doesn’t respond; just rides over (has Maruki met his horse yet?). He posts Elke outside and knocks on the door, package in hand. He’s not all that great at hiding his emotions when they’re high, but he’s found that shifting into that cold, empty state “helps”. Great habit to learn. But it isn’t hard to feel that way these days. He keeps himself neutral and subdued as he waits.]
[ Oh my god, Eren, that is Not a counselor-approved coping strat. Or a friend-approved one! Feel your feelings!!
For his part, Maruki isn't nervous about seeing Eren. He still doesn't fully understand what transpired the other day, and he's felt out of sorts about it, but it's coupled with feeling out of sorts about several things. All he wants is to be sure Eren can still trust him, or at least still continue to try to. Everything else is set dressing.
The only nerve wracking part is being seen decidedly Not Fine when he said he was Fine. Oops!
So he opens the faded green door to Eyn Sof, his right arm in a sling and the few visible bits of skin – his neck, face, forearms with his rolled up sleeves – are covered in scrapes, cuts and bruises all in various stages of healing. Eren won't be able to tell what's going on underneath that dorky professor outfit, but his posture is stiff and his gait slow.
Still, he brightens right up to see Eren. Zero ill will, always, ever. ]
Good to see you! Come in, it's mostly done–
[ And by that he means the furniture is arranged, at the very least, but everything else is a bit of organized chaos.
Doesn't matter, because he stops and peers around Eren. ]
When did you get a horse!
For his part, Maruki isn't nervous about seeing Eren. He still doesn't fully understand what transpired the other day, and he's felt out of sorts about it, but it's coupled with feeling out of sorts about several things. All he wants is to be sure Eren can still trust him, or at least still continue to try to. Everything else is set dressing.
The only nerve wracking part is being seen decidedly Not Fine when he said he was Fine. Oops!
So he opens the faded green door to Eyn Sof, his right arm in a sling and the few visible bits of skin – his neck, face, forearms with his rolled up sleeves – are covered in scrapes, cuts and bruises all in various stages of healing. Eren won't be able to tell what's going on underneath that dorky professor outfit, but his posture is stiff and his gait slow.
Still, he brightens right up to see Eren. Zero ill will, always, ever. ]
Good to see you! Come in, it's mostly done–
[ And by that he means the furniture is arranged, at the very least, but everything else is a bit of organized chaos.
Doesn't matter, because he stops and peers around Eren. ]
When did you get a horse!
[Well, it may not be worth much, but Eren isn't going to harp on Maruki about his injuries. He's a grown man who's clearly perfectly capable of surviving despite them, and it's really his fault if he hasn't hauled his ass over to a healer by now and gotten himself fixed up. Eren's seen a lot tougher hurt a lot worse and it didn't ruffle his feathers then either. Still, he raises an eyebrow.]
Geez. You really got banged up.
[Horse, however.]
I got her from the crystal so I could do more deliveries. I have a cart too. Do you want to meet her? [The horse, not the cart. The cart's at home.]
Geez. You really got banged up.
[Horse, however.]
I got her from the crystal so I could do more deliveries. I have a cart too. Do you want to meet her? [The horse, not the cart. The cart's at home.]
[ Trust and believe, he cannot begin to explain why he hasn't gone to a healer. It barely made sense when he tried to explain it to Akechi and he's loath to try again.
The non-reaction is fine, he doesn't need pity and he isn't about to talk about anything that happened in there, so it's good, really. And more importantly: Horse!! ]
Could I? I think I told you before that I've never gotten up close to horses in real life.
[ City slicker to his bones. Ah, he wishes he had an apple to give her or something... ]
The non-reaction is fine, he doesn't need pity and he isn't about to talk about anything that happened in there, so it's good, really. And more importantly: Horse!! ]
Could I? I think I told you before that I've never gotten up close to horses in real life.
[ City slicker to his bones. Ah, he wishes he had an apple to give her or something... ]
Yeah, you can. [At this, Eren stoops down to place the food just inside the door to Maruki's office.]
Listen first, though. Don't go behind her - or any horse, ever. They'll kick the shit out of you, and you'll die. [Hey. It's the truth.
[Eren leads him over to Elke, but puts a hand up before Maruki gets too close. He mutters something and the horse looks up, ears swiveling. Eren puts a hand on her nose.] Good girl...
Come from the front so she can see you, and make a sound to let her know first. She should be alright, and then you can get close. The closer the better, actually. [Eren, for example, is pretty much pressed up right against her head.]
Listen first, though. Don't go behind her - or any horse, ever. They'll kick the shit out of you, and you'll die. [Hey. It's the truth.
[Eren leads him over to Elke, but puts a hand up before Maruki gets too close. He mutters something and the horse looks up, ears swiveling. Eren puts a hand on her nose.] Good girl...
Come from the front so she can see you, and make a sound to let her know first. She should be alright, and then you can get close. The closer the better, actually. [Eren, for example, is pretty much pressed up right against her head.]
Die? Ah, horses are serious business, huh...
[ Maruki loves animals. For the most part, the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual – Frog aside, perfect queen that she is.
So he approaches extra cautiously, clicks his tongue to get her attention. It seems... fine? He's a little tetchy about moving in as close as Eren, though. She really is big.
Just gonna settle for... also patting her nose. Yes. Nailed it.
Probably?
Oh god, don't trample him. ]
[ Maruki loves animals. For the most part, the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual – Frog aside, perfect queen that she is.
So he approaches extra cautiously, clicks his tongue to get her attention. It seems... fine? He's a little tetchy about moving in as close as Eren, though. She really is big.
Just gonna settle for... also patting her nose. Yes. Nailed it.
Probably?
Oh god, don't trample him. ]
[Maruki does fine. Elke isn't skittish like a normal horse, but they're good rules to teach anyway. She butts her nose lightly against Maruki's hand for more pats.]
That's a good thing.
And yeah, horses can totally kill you. They're strong as hell, and their instincts tell them to kick when they feel something behind them. Never walk behind a horse.
[Eren smooths a hand over her crest. He never bonded with the horses back home much, but he's very fond of Elke.]
You're doing fine, see? She's a good girl.
Elke's her name. ["El-kuh".]
That's a good thing.
And yeah, horses can totally kill you. They're strong as hell, and their instincts tell them to kick when they feel something behind them. Never walk behind a horse.
[Eren smooths a hand over her crest. He never bonded with the horses back home much, but he's very fond of Elke.]
You're doing fine, see? She's a good girl.
Elke's her name. ["El-kuh".]
[ Hey, he's getting a good grade in horse! Something that is normal to want and possible to achieve!!
Maruki moves in closer for more pats, dutiful as ever. ]
Hello, Elke. What a beautiful animal.
[ Truly, for as terrifyingly huge as she is, it's also awe-inspiring. He can't imagine riding around on one. Also, doesn't want to try! There are many concessions he will never make to this medieval lifestyle and that's one of them.
He looks over at Eren and grins. ]
What if you got a horse form and ran around with her?
Maruki moves in closer for more pats, dutiful as ever. ]
Hello, Elke. What a beautiful animal.
[ Truly, for as terrifyingly huge as she is, it's also awe-inspiring. He can't imagine riding around on one. Also, doesn't want to try! There are many concessions he will never make to this medieval lifestyle and that's one of them.
He looks over at Eren and grins. ]
What if you got a horse form and ran around with her?
[At this, Eren wrinkles his nose. He wouldn't exactly choose a horse, but he wouldn't have chosen a wolf either.]
I guess I could. I don't know, though. I think I might be set on animal transformations for a while. Maybe something else...
What potion did you take, anyway?
I guess I could. I don't know, though. I think I might be set on animal transformations for a while. Maybe something else...
What potion did you take, anyway?
[ Maruki exhales a little laugh, strokes his hand down Elke's neck. ]
I didn't. It was destroyed. I'm not interested in anything this place can give me that I couldn't give myself.
[ Maybe a bit of a firmer answer than Eren would have gotten if he asked before the labyrinth. Two days changed a lot. ]
I didn't. It was destroyed. I'm not interested in anything this place can give me that I couldn't give myself.
[ Maybe a bit of a firmer answer than Eren would have gotten if he asked before the labyrinth. Two days changed a lot. ]
[Does Maruki sound a little worked up? Eren shrugs, almost defensive. He focuses on Elke, ducking around to her other side to mess with her mane. Things feel weird...]
I can't say I blame you. Just wondering. [He wants to ask if that's why Maruki hasn't gotten himself healed yet, but maybe it's none of his business. He really doesn't know where they stand at this point.]
Anyway...
Are you hungry, or what?
I can't say I blame you. Just wondering. [He wants to ask if that's why Maruki hasn't gotten himself healed yet, but maybe it's none of his business. He really doesn't know where they stand at this point.]
Anyway...
Are you hungry, or what?
[ Things don't feel weird to Maruki! Or, almost more likely, he feels weird in general, so nothing about this pings specifically. He keeps thinking to Akechi and Robin Hood, and the emptiness he feels in his own mind. He always felt it, but now that it has a name and a purpose, the loss is uniquely disquieting.
That said, there's nothing out of the ordinary to the way he smiles gratefully at Eren. He really does believe things are fine. ]
I am, and more than that, the curiosity is killing me.
[ A final pet to Elke's forehead before he backs away carefully and leads Eren inside again.
Eyn Sof is relaxing to him already. The comfort of having a dedicated space to do his work cannot be overstated. He gestures to the squashy sofa, the rickety low table in front of it. They'll have to sit on the floor to use it, but it's better than nothing. ]
That said, there's nothing out of the ordinary to the way he smiles gratefully at Eren. He really does believe things are fine. ]
I am, and more than that, the curiosity is killing me.
[ A final pet to Elke's forehead before he backs away carefully and leads Eren inside again.
Eyn Sof is relaxing to him already. The comfort of having a dedicated space to do his work cannot be overstated. He gestures to the squashy sofa, the rickety low table in front of it. They'll have to sit on the floor to use it, but it's better than nothing. ]
[Yeah, well, sixteen-year-olds are more insecure than their thirty-something-year-old-therapist-slash-friends - get used to it.
[The floor it is, then. Eren immediately starts spreading stuff out on the table. His mood is still subdued - so easy to slip into, these days - but he seems...marginally enthusiastic?
[The feast is displayed - rock hard, shitty bread, watery but warm stew with crumbly potatoes, unripe vegetables, and a few chunks of the toughest meat anyone has every tasted - and that was a luxury, back then. As well as that, there's a package of Scouts' rationsshut up, Caitlin, you were right, more tough meat (dried), and a bottle of ale that tastes not unlike piss.
[And then something else, wrapped lovingly in a brown paper package. Eren puts his hand on it, sliding it close to him.]
This one last.
Oh. [He points to the ale.] That's alcohol. You should at least try a sip, though.
[The floor it is, then. Eren immediately starts spreading stuff out on the table. His mood is still subdued - so easy to slip into, these days - but he seems...marginally enthusiastic?
[The feast is displayed - rock hard, shitty bread, watery but warm stew with crumbly potatoes, unripe vegetables, and a few chunks of the toughest meat anyone has every tasted - and that was a luxury, back then. As well as that, there's a package of Scouts' rations
[And then something else, wrapped lovingly in a brown paper package. Eren puts his hand on it, sliding it close to him.]
This one last.
Oh. [He points to the ale.] That's alcohol. You should at least try a sip, though.
[ Skill issue, Akiren never felt insecure with him!
Maruki's face freezes in an expression of frazzled surprise as Eren unpacks all of the food. He shouldn't be tactless. And Eren did say this would make him grateful for the food in Somnius – not that he's ever been anything less, he just misses Japan, that's all.
It starts to sink in, slowly. ]
Ah.
[ ... ]
Did you and Jean-kun approximate what the food was like back in your reality?
[ y. yaaaaaaay
He eyes the alcohol warily. Not a drinker, and not sure what to make of the mysterious package. Hm.
He will, very delicately, take the bottle of ale and sniff it.
Immediate sour lemon face. ]
Oh, no. No thank you on that one.
Maruki's face freezes in an expression of frazzled surprise as Eren unpacks all of the food. He shouldn't be tactless. And Eren did say this would make him grateful for the food in Somnius – not that he's ever been anything less, he just misses Japan, that's all.
It starts to sink in, slowly. ]
Ah.
[ ... ]
Did you and Jean-kun approximate what the food was like back in your reality?
[ y. yaaaaaaay
He eyes the alcohol warily. Not a drinker, and not sure what to make of the mysterious package. Hm.
He will, very delicately, take the bottle of ale and sniff it.
Immediate sour lemon face. ]
Oh, no. No thank you on that one.
[Akiren is goddamn insane.
[One corner of Eren's mouth barely lifts in a smile.]
Yeah. It's gross. I gotta tell you, though - when they broke this stuff out, people all but lost their minds. [He doesn't take a swig, though. He's got work after this. He takes the bottle and sets it on the ground - out of sight, out of mind.]
Just take a bite of each. And no, Jean and I didn't make this.
It's real food from home.
[He pats the brown package again.] This will make it all worth it. Promise.
[One corner of Eren's mouth barely lifts in a smile.]
Yeah. It's gross. I gotta tell you, though - when they broke this stuff out, people all but lost their minds. [He doesn't take a swig, though. He's got work after this. He takes the bottle and sets it on the ground - out of sight, out of mind.]
Just take a bite of each. And no, Jean and I didn't make this.
It's real food from home.
[He pats the brown package again.] This will make it all worth it. Promise.
Oh!
[ Wait, that makes it a novel thing. And meaningful, to boot. Maruki looks up from inspecting the stew to catch Eren's eye, plainly delighted suddenly. ]
Is it really? How did you come about that? It must be a comfort to see again...
[ Because even if it doesn't taste good compared to what they have here, it's still home.
Maruki isn't prissy, really. He knows he probably comes across that way to fellow dreamers used to realities farther in the past than his own, but it isn't that. He doesn't daydream about double point day at Triple 7 or functional public transportation or splurging on tempura udon because he's stuck up. He just misses home, deep into his bones.
So he picks up a fork, unsteady in his left hand, and jabs at the tough meat and dry potatoes. No hesitation, and not much of a face pulled when he tries it. If he puts himself in the shoes of a story from Eren's reality, it stands to reason that a feast like this would be completely enjoyable. ]
[ Wait, that makes it a novel thing. And meaningful, to boot. Maruki looks up from inspecting the stew to catch Eren's eye, plainly delighted suddenly. ]
Is it really? How did you come about that? It must be a comfort to see again...
[ Because even if it doesn't taste good compared to what they have here, it's still home.
Maruki isn't prissy, really. He knows he probably comes across that way to fellow dreamers used to realities farther in the past than his own, but it isn't that. He doesn't daydream about double point day at Triple 7 or functional public transportation or splurging on tempura udon because he's stuck up. He just misses home, deep into his bones.
So he picks up a fork, unsteady in his left hand, and jabs at the tough meat and dry potatoes. No hesitation, and not much of a face pulled when he tries it. If he puts himself in the shoes of a story from Eren's reality, it stands to reason that a feast like this would be completely enjoyable. ]
Edited 2024-06-01 09:10 (UTC)
[It's funny. Eren fully expected Maruki to hate the food - almost thought it would be kind of funny - but he's pleased when Maruki doesn't react with disgust. A feast like this would have only been in the context of a celebration, and those were few and far between.
[His hand rests on that brown package as he watches Maruki eats. He might just be pretending to be okay with this food, but what's wrapped up...]
It's weird. I never thought I missed gross food from home, but it tasted good when I ate it again.
It was a gift from the labyrinth, I guess. [Ah...] You were right about me going. I didn't tell anyone.
[His hand rests on that brown package as he watches Maruki eats. He might just be pretending to be okay with this food, but what's wrapped up...]
It's weird. I never thought I missed gross food from home, but it tasted good when I ate it again.
It was a gift from the labyrinth, I guess. [Ah...] You were right about me going. I didn't tell anyone.
[ Maruki isn't a good actor. There are things he can lie convincingly about – many things – but simple acts like feigning enjoyment of a meal aren't his strong suit. It isn't the best thing he's ever eaten, not by a mile, but it's edible. And it's important to Eren. That makes it tolerable, and so his polite contentment is genuine.
Plus, he's fascinated by it. A cognitive manipulation you can eat. What are the odds.
He pokes at the rations and looks at Eren with a wry smile. ]
So you did go. Don't worry, I'll keep your secret.
[ An attempt to chew a bit of the dried meat. It takes, roughly, forever and a day. ]
What is it with that place and food? The cheese room, the cereal room, and now a room of food from your reality... Ah, but that one is obviously the best. I'm really glad you got to experience that, Eren-kun.
[ He is PUTTING IN A COMPLAINT. ]
Meanwhile, I fought monsters taller than skyscrapers. Win some, lose some.
Plus, he's fascinated by it. A cognitive manipulation you can eat. What are the odds.
He pokes at the rations and looks at Eren with a wry smile. ]
So you did go. Don't worry, I'll keep your secret.
[ An attempt to chew a bit of the dried meat. It takes, roughly, forever and a day. ]
What is it with that place and food? The cheese room, the cereal room, and now a room of food from your reality... Ah, but that one is obviously the best. I'm really glad you got to experience that, Eren-kun.
[ He is PUTTING IN A COMPLAINT. ]
Meanwhile, I fought monsters taller than skyscrapers. Win some, lose some.
Wh– oh!
[ Oh, shit. His automatic reaction to reach for Eren's shoulder to give him a quick, calming touch results in an aborted movement from his useless right arm, and so he twists to do it with his left instead. ]
Sorry! Sorry, nothing like that. They were, ah... You haven't seen Goshzilla, have you...
[ Then his hand flies up to try to approximate the rough shape of a kaiju. It looks like nothing, probably. ]
Like very large lizards. It's kind of a movie trope where I'm from. Less fun to experience than to watch.
[ A beat, and he drops his hand and peers at Eren, speaks gently. ]
Sorry. I didn't mean to alarm you.
[ Oh, shit. His automatic reaction to reach for Eren's shoulder to give him a quick, calming touch results in an aborted movement from his useless right arm, and so he twists to do it with his left instead. ]
Sorry! Sorry, nothing like that. They were, ah... You haven't seen Goshzilla, have you...
[ Then his hand flies up to try to approximate the rough shape of a kaiju. It looks like nothing, probably. ]
Like very large lizards. It's kind of a movie trope where I'm from. Less fun to experience than to watch.
[ A beat, and he drops his hand and peers at Eren, speaks gently. ]
Sorry. I didn't mean to alarm you.
[Eren grips his chest and lets out an incredulous laugh.]
Maria, Rose, and Sina, I thought everyone here was about to die. [He's not personally afraid of titans, but he knows very well that this world is not even close to prepared for them.]
I should kick you for that.
Maria, Rose, and Sina, I thought everyone here was about to die. [He's not personally afraid of titans, but he knows very well that this world is not even close to prepared for them.]
I should kick you for that.
[ Oh, it's so good to see Eren laugh again, even if it's because of his blunder. Maruki laughs too and tries to tear off a piece of the bread, his last unconquered bit of the meal. Honestly, he would go back for a little more of the stew – maybe he'll dip the accursed bread in it. ]
You can definitely kick me. I daresay I've earned it.
[ A light, gentle press. ]
You can definitely kick me. I daresay I've earned it.
[ A light, gentle press. ]
[Maruki is lightly kicked under the table.]
Alright. Now, try this. [There...is some hesitance before Eren passes the package over, like he doesn't necessarily want to relinquish it; he pushes it across the table.
[It's a sweet quick bread, sweetened with sugar that his family could only afford once a year. The sweet flavor is subtle, but in a good way, Eren thinks. The bread is soft and moist, entirely unlike the hard, lumpy bread. It's a melt-in-your-mouth sort of texture, with hints of earthy flavors that he hasn't tasted in any of the Stone Dragon's baked goods.
[Eren doesn't mean to hawk him, but can't help but watch with a nervous gaze. If Maruki doesn't like it, he'll...
[Well. He'll be more than disappointed - angry, even, maybe. Maruki can't possibly know the weight of this gesture, but Eren does. It's the best apology he could possibly give.]
Alright. Now, try this. [There...is some hesitance before Eren passes the package over, like he doesn't necessarily want to relinquish it; he pushes it across the table.
[It's a sweet quick bread, sweetened with sugar that his family could only afford once a year. The sweet flavor is subtle, but in a good way, Eren thinks. The bread is soft and moist, entirely unlike the hard, lumpy bread. It's a melt-in-your-mouth sort of texture, with hints of earthy flavors that he hasn't tasted in any of the Stone Dragon's baked goods.
[Eren doesn't mean to hawk him, but can't help but watch with a nervous gaze. If Maruki doesn't like it, he'll...
[Well. He'll be more than disappointed - angry, even, maybe. Maruki can't possibly know the weight of this gesture, but Eren does. It's the best apology he could possibly give.]
[ Maruki can sense the significance of this just from the way Eren watches him. Something about it settles, heavy and comforting, over his beleaguered heart. A tangible memory from home shared freely is no small thing.
He breaks off a corner of the little loaf of bread and pops it in his mouth, a genuine smile spreading over his face instantly. It's good, truly good, a flavor unlike everything else he's tried. Simple and subtle and so clearly made with care.
Maruki meets Eren's intense, nervous gaze with raised eyebrows and sincere joy. ]
It's really good! I've never had anything like it before. Sort of like a tea bread, but not quite...
[ He doesn't want to eat it all, especially since it's clearly important to Eren, but he breaks off one more small piece and then splits it further in half, one for Eren and one for him. ]
What is it?
He breaks off a corner of the little loaf of bread and pops it in his mouth, a genuine smile spreading over his face instantly. It's good, truly good, a flavor unlike everything else he's tried. Simple and subtle and so clearly made with care.
Maruki meets Eren's intense, nervous gaze with raised eyebrows and sincere joy. ]
It's really good! I've never had anything like it before. Sort of like a tea bread, but not quite...
[ He doesn't want to eat it all, especially since it's clearly important to Eren, but he breaks off one more small piece and then splits it further in half, one for Eren and one for him. ]
What is it?
[Maruki likes it. Eren smiles. It's small, but it's real. Even as he hugs himself, he looks...content - maybe even happy. His voice is quiet, but it isn't a bad thing - almost reverent.]
My mom made that.
I mean. She didn't, but...it's hers. It's exactly hers.
She called it birthday bread...
My mom made that.
I mean. She didn't, but...it's hers. It's exactly hers.
She called it birthday bread...
[ Oh. That smile is a first.
And it immediately makes sense.
Maruki's heart squeezes in his chest. It's a manipulation from whatever powers that be here, a blatant one, and yet he can't bring himself to mentally poke holes in it just yet. Save it for later. ]
Thanks for sharing it with me, Eren-kun. That's really special.
[ A bit of loving care from a long gone home is no small thing. Especially for someone like Eren.
Maruki leans back against the couch behind them with the tiniest hiss of pain. ]
What was she like?
And it immediately makes sense.
Maruki's heart squeezes in his chest. It's a manipulation from whatever powers that be here, a blatant one, and yet he can't bring himself to mentally poke holes in it just yet. Save it for later. ]
Thanks for sharing it with me, Eren-kun. That's really special.
[ A bit of loving care from a long gone home is no small thing. Especially for someone like Eren.
Maruki leans back against the couch behind them with the tiniest hiss of pain. ]
What was she like?
Edited (learn clarity bitch) 2024-06-01 18:25 (UTC)
[It's more special than Maruki knows; the last of few loaves. Eren's grateful that he only ate a couple of bites. It's not like he can keep it forever, though. Even magical food goes bad.
[The question is...difficult, but Eren, for once, is thinking of his mother in a way that...hurts uniquely, but not so unbearably. He's not sure how long he'll be able to maintain that, but this is her bread, and it's perfect; something in his heart wants to believe she managed to send it herself, although he knows that's impossible.]
She was a kind person. I never listened to her the way I should have, but she wasn't afraid to let me know. She'd yank my ear and tell me to get it together. [All fond. His hand rests over his heart.]
She wasn't a perfect singer, but I liked her voice. Her and my dad used to dance some weekends at these parties in the market, and she loved it.
She had...long hair and gold eyes. Everyone tells me I look exactly like her. She used to work as a waitress, but once I was born, she was only ever a mom. To me and to Mikasa, when she needed one. Armin too.
[Drip, drip. He hadn't noticed he was crying. Just a little. He wipes his eyes and there's no more issue. He's still smiling just a little.]
I thought tasting this would make me upset, but it didn't. Not really.
[The question is...difficult, but Eren, for once, is thinking of his mother in a way that...hurts uniquely, but not so unbearably. He's not sure how long he'll be able to maintain that, but this is her bread, and it's perfect; something in his heart wants to believe she managed to send it herself, although he knows that's impossible.]
She was a kind person. I never listened to her the way I should have, but she wasn't afraid to let me know. She'd yank my ear and tell me to get it together. [All fond. His hand rests over his heart.]
She wasn't a perfect singer, but I liked her voice. Her and my dad used to dance some weekends at these parties in the market, and she loved it.
She had...long hair and gold eyes. Everyone tells me I look exactly like her. She used to work as a waitress, but once I was born, she was only ever a mom. To me and to Mikasa, when she needed one. Armin too.
[Drip, drip. He hadn't noticed he was crying. Just a little. He wipes his eyes and there's no more issue. He's still smiling just a little.]
I thought tasting this would make me upset, but it didn't. Not really.
[ Maruki listens.
He does his best to do that, and only that – just listen. No analysis, no drive to counsel. A friend listening to another friend share a deeply personal story from home. ]
She sounds like a wonderful mother. I'm glad you could get this reminder of her love for you.
[ He tips his head back to look up at the ceiling, searching his thoughts for a moment before he says quietly: ]
If you believe she made this for you, then she did.
[ He won't bore Eren with the actual theory backing that up. He won't ramble about the principles of cognitive psience that make him certain of that. He'll just state it plainly. ]
Something cannot be created out of nothing, even in a dream. In your home, the bread came from your mother. So it's the same here. She's with you.
[ Hopefully it isn't overstepping to say. He does believe it. ]
He does his best to do that, and only that – just listen. No analysis, no drive to counsel. A friend listening to another friend share a deeply personal story from home. ]
She sounds like a wonderful mother. I'm glad you could get this reminder of her love for you.
[ He tips his head back to look up at the ceiling, searching his thoughts for a moment before he says quietly: ]
If you believe she made this for you, then she did.
[ He won't bore Eren with the actual theory backing that up. He won't ramble about the principles of cognitive psience that make him certain of that. He'll just state it plainly. ]
Something cannot be created out of nothing, even in a dream. In your home, the bread came from your mother. So it's the same here. She's with you.
[ Hopefully it isn't overstepping to say. He does believe it. ]
[Eren's grateful not to be counseled about this, but Maruki's words still hit right in the gut. It leaves Eren blinking, looking slightly stunned. The smile has faded; he bites his lip.
[She's dead because of him, but--]
I...think, normally, I wouldn't believe you - or, not you, but just...anything like that.
Here, though...[It tastes exactly right. No one could replicate something like that. Jean baked loaves to Carla's exact recipe, and it still wasn't the same.]
I guess...if it was made out of a memory, or a dream of a memory, then it would have to be hers, you're right. It's just like I remember it...
[A quiet addition - odd, the way he sounds almost like he's trying to convince someone.] I loved my mother.
[She's dead because of him, but--]
I...think, normally, I wouldn't believe you - or, not you, but just...anything like that.
Here, though...[It tastes exactly right. No one could replicate something like that. Jean baked loaves to Carla's exact recipe, and it still wasn't the same.]
I guess...if it was made out of a memory, or a dream of a memory, then it would have to be hers, you're right. It's just like I remember it...
[A quiet addition - odd, the way he sounds almost like he's trying to convince someone.] I loved my mother.
[ Eren's on the right track. Memories, cognitions. The subconscious, the collective unconscious. A mother's love is ubiquitous.
The specifics don't matter right now. The feelings do. So he nods, and smiles gently, and hopes to god that this harmless reminder of home doesn't come to light as any sort of manipulation later. ]
I can tell that you did, Eren-kun. It's obvious just from the way you talk about her.
[ It's a heavy topic. He doesn't want this to turn too emotional, run the risk of turning into a counseling session neither of them are prepared for. ]
Hang onto that feeling as long as you can. And the bread, too! It really is good.
[ But he won't help himself to more. ]
If I ever receive anything from home, I'll be sure to share it with you in kind.
The specifics don't matter right now. The feelings do. So he nods, and smiles gently, and hopes to god that this harmless reminder of home doesn't come to light as any sort of manipulation later. ]
I can tell that you did, Eren-kun. It's obvious just from the way you talk about her.
[ It's a heavy topic. He doesn't want this to turn too emotional, run the risk of turning into a counseling session neither of them are prepared for. ]
Hang onto that feeling as long as you can. And the bread, too! It really is good.
[ But he won't help himself to more. ]
If I ever receive anything from home, I'll be sure to share it with you in kind.
[ Ah. He should have seen that coming.
I'm the one who does all the talking, right?
Don't deflect. Be honest. ]
I'm afraid there isn't much to tell. Not because I don't want to talk, to be clear. It was just...
[ Maruki shrugs his good shoulder. There's a certain amount of shame in how easy his life was, up to a point, compared to so many in Somnius. ]
I was an only child. We didn't have much money. It's why I pushed myself as hard as I did in school, so I could eventually give my parents a comfortable life. Of course, that was before I discovered the harsh truth that getting a doctorate degree doesn't necessarily mean you'll be rich!
[ A little laugh, a beat. He scratches at his stubble, shrugs again, more a nervous twitch than anything else. ]
Ah, but they both passed away before I finished school. Just illness. They were already on the older side when they had me, so.
[ It had been bearable because he had Rumi, and his work to throw himself into. Those losses were what turned his mind, not the loss of his parents.
He takes a deep breath, exhales quickly and smiles at Eren. ]
I was lucky. They were very supportive of me. I can only hope that the work I've done since and will continue to do makes them proud.
I'm the one who does all the talking, right?
Don't deflect. Be honest. ]
I'm afraid there isn't much to tell. Not because I don't want to talk, to be clear. It was just...
[ Maruki shrugs his good shoulder. There's a certain amount of shame in how easy his life was, up to a point, compared to so many in Somnius. ]
I was an only child. We didn't have much money. It's why I pushed myself as hard as I did in school, so I could eventually give my parents a comfortable life. Of course, that was before I discovered the harsh truth that getting a doctorate degree doesn't necessarily mean you'll be rich!
[ A little laugh, a beat. He scratches at his stubble, shrugs again, more a nervous twitch than anything else. ]
Ah, but they both passed away before I finished school. Just illness. They were already on the older side when they had me, so.
[ It had been bearable because he had Rumi, and his work to throw himself into. Those losses were what turned his mind, not the loss of his parents.
He takes a deep breath, exhales quickly and smiles at Eren. ]
I was lucky. They were very supportive of me. I can only hope that the work I've done since and will continue to do makes them proud.
I bet it does. [A quick answer, and genuine. Talk of dead parents won't scare Eren away. He's sad for Maruki, but he knew very few people back home who still had parents to speak of at all. He, Mikasa, and Armin, were all made orphans - officially and completely - when Carla and Grisha died.]
I mean, you're a doctor, right? Not the sort I'm used to, but still. [And, yeah, Eren has serious doubts after talking to Levi, but that has nothing to do with this conversation.] My father was a doctor. Everyone in town respected him, and in other districts too. You've gotta be real smart for that sort of thing.
I'm not sure what exactly a doctorate degree is, but...it probably isn't easy to get.
I mean, you're a doctor, right? Not the sort I'm used to, but still. [And, yeah, Eren has serious doubts after talking to Levi, but that has nothing to do with this conversation.] My father was a doctor. Everyone in town respected him, and in other districts too. You've gotta be real smart for that sort of thing.
I'm not sure what exactly a doctorate degree is, but...it probably isn't easy to get.
[ Oh Eren, if you ever unlock his actual tragic backstory, trust and believe it will be a very different conversation. ]
Thank you for saying so. And you're not wrong! It took...
[ He looks askance, ticks off a few fingers as he mouths through some years silently. ]
Twelve years, altogether? A long, difficult road, but one that I enjoyed.
[ Maruki pulls a knee up in front of him, rests his good arm on it and cradles his head in his hand to look at Eren. ]
That's one of the first things you told me, you know. That your father was a doctor.
[ That dream they shared, why they both latched onto one another quickly. Maruki leaves the door open for Eren to walk through if he wants to have that conversation. If not, it can be ignored. ]
Thank you for saying so. And you're not wrong! It took...
[ He looks askance, ticks off a few fingers as he mouths through some years silently. ]
Twelve years, altogether? A long, difficult road, but one that I enjoyed.
[ Maruki pulls a knee up in front of him, rests his good arm on it and cradles his head in his hand to look at Eren. ]
That's one of the first things you told me, you know. That your father was a doctor.
[ That dream they shared, why they both latched onto one another quickly. Maruki leaves the door open for Eren to walk through if he wants to have that conversation. If not, it can be ignored. ]
[Twelve years. Sheesh. Eren hasn't even been a scout that long (dude, you would have enrolled at four years old if that were true).
[At the topic of his father, well...he's the one that brought it up. He halfway mirrors Maruki's position, drawing his knees up to his chest.]
Yeah, it was. It's...complicated. [Eren's...not sure if he's supposed to delve in deeper, or if he even wants to.] Well, everything about him and I.
But he was a good doctor. He helped a lot of people. That's actually how he met my mom.
When he first arrived in my hometown [loaded fucking intro], a plague broke out [Probably because of Grisha himself, though Eren hasn't put those pieces together.]. So many people died. My father found the cure. [Knowledge from Marley, no doubt - Eren does realize that, now.] My grandparents - my mother's parents - were dying, but he saved them. I guess that's why she fell for him.
[At the topic of his father, well...he's the one that brought it up. He halfway mirrors Maruki's position, drawing his knees up to his chest.]
Yeah, it was. It's...complicated. [Eren's...not sure if he's supposed to delve in deeper, or if he even wants to.] Well, everything about him and I.
But he was a good doctor. He helped a lot of people. That's actually how he met my mom.
When he first arrived in my hometown [loaded fucking intro], a plague broke out [Probably because of Grisha himself, though Eren hasn't put those pieces together.]. So many people died. My father found the cure. [Knowledge from Marley, no doubt - Eren does realize that, now.] My grandparents - my mother's parents - were dying, but he saved them. I guess that's why she fell for him.
[ Maruki's expression turns to deep, genuine concern at the story. A horrifying idea, a deadly plague, the pressure to find a cure without modern medicine. At least it has a happy ending, for at least a handful of people. ]
He must have been an incredible doctor to find a cure for a plague. That's quite the story of their meeting...
[ He mulls it over for a moment longer, quietly pensive, then sighs. ]
It never ceases to amaze me, just how much pain is inherent to everyone's histories.
[ And then a wan smile. ]
I'm sorry, I tend toward topics that bring the room down, huh...
He must have been an incredible doctor to find a cure for a plague. That's quite the story of their meeting...
[ He mulls it over for a moment longer, quietly pensive, then sighs. ]
It never ceases to amaze me, just how much pain is inherent to everyone's histories.
[ And then a wan smile. ]
I'm sorry, I tend toward topics that bring the room down, huh...
If you want to know the truth, I think he brought the cure from the outside. My father was from Marley, the nation across the sea from my island. That's how he knew so much.
[That being said...
[Eren tilts his head a little, resting it on his knees. He looks at Maruki.]
I think when people do that - talk about bad shit all the time, you know...
I'd guess there's some pain in your story too. That's all.
[A beat...and another.]
You could talk about it, too, if you wanted. I'd listen.
[That being said...
[Eren tilts his head a little, resting it on his knees. He looks at Maruki.]
I think when people do that - talk about bad shit all the time, you know...
I'd guess there's some pain in your story too. That's all.
[A beat...and another.]
You could talk about it, too, if you wanted. I'd listen.
[ That smile freezes on Maruki's face. Not a single flicker of anything in his expression for a moment, and then he ducks his head and laughs. ]
Well, talking about "bad shit" all the time, as you put it, is also my job. So that factors in.
[ He'll do air quotes with his left hand for that and everything.
He sees quite plainly what's happening here. Eren's sudden questioning of their relationship, both in Maruki's capacity as his counselor and as his friend. The sharing of something deeply important to him from home. The offer extended, a friendly listening ear, the same thing Maruki provides to so many.
Akechi's words when he opened Eyn Sof have circled endlessly in his mind. Don't you find it strange that someone who's supposed to teach self-value puts no value on himself?
Here is the opportunity to do just that, and it sets his teeth so harshly on edge that he suddenly feels as if he's chewing tinfoil. Not only the prompt to share, but to share his pain.
He can't dismiss it. It'll do damage to his bond with Eren. He can't accept it either. There are too many places his mind does not go. He shouldn't lie. He doesn't know what he should do. The cavernous space in the back of his mind feels fit to crack open and swallow him whole. ]
I appreciate the offer, Eren-kun. It might not surprise you to know that I'm not exactly open with those parts of myself, even with friends.
[ Because Eren is his friend. In fact–
He's already told Eren about Rumi, very obliquely. The full story cannot, will not be shared; there is no part of him that is anywhere close to ready, and he simply doesn't trust Eren enough. Which isn't a slight on Eren. He doesn't know that he'll ever trust anyone enough.
But he can share a tiny bit more. He steels himself and asks, very calmly: ]
Do you remember when I told you about the driving force behind my research?
Well, talking about "bad shit" all the time, as you put it, is also my job. So that factors in.
[ He'll do air quotes with his left hand for that and everything.
He sees quite plainly what's happening here. Eren's sudden questioning of their relationship, both in Maruki's capacity as his counselor and as his friend. The sharing of something deeply important to him from home. The offer extended, a friendly listening ear, the same thing Maruki provides to so many.
Akechi's words when he opened Eyn Sof have circled endlessly in his mind. Don't you find it strange that someone who's supposed to teach self-value puts no value on himself?
Here is the opportunity to do just that, and it sets his teeth so harshly on edge that he suddenly feels as if he's chewing tinfoil. Not only the prompt to share, but to share his pain.
He can't dismiss it. It'll do damage to his bond with Eren. He can't accept it either. There are too many places his mind does not go. He shouldn't lie. He doesn't know what he should do. The cavernous space in the back of his mind feels fit to crack open and swallow him whole. ]
I appreciate the offer, Eren-kun. It might not surprise you to know that I'm not exactly open with those parts of myself, even with friends.
[ Because Eren is his friend. In fact–
He's already told Eren about Rumi, very obliquely. The full story cannot, will not be shared; there is no part of him that is anywhere close to ready, and he simply doesn't trust Eren enough. Which isn't a slight on Eren. He doesn't know that he'll ever trust anyone enough.
But he can share a tiny bit more. He steels himself and asks, very calmly: ]
Do you remember when I told you about the driving force behind my research?
[Maruki is analyzing Eren's behavior, but it isn't calculated. Eren isn't thinking of his conversation with Captain Levi, or the seeds of distrust planted for Maruki, or that asking him to open up might garner some development in their relationship that Eren is seeking--
[No. Thousands of Colossal titans, marching away in droves, and Maruki, encircled by raw bone; Eren cares about his friend, and he's trying to be a better one.
[He nods.]
I think so. Someone you cared about got hurt, right? [The victim of a "terrible crime" - Eren can only assume.]
[No. Thousands of Colossal titans, marching away in droves, and Maruki, encircled by raw bone; Eren cares about his friend, and he's trying to be a better one.
[He nods.]
I think so. Someone you cared about got hurt, right? [The victim of a "terrible crime" - Eren can only assume.]
[ No way out now. A not insignificant part of him hoped Eren would say no, he didn't remember. It was only a blip in a much larger conversation centered around Eren's pain, after all. Maruki wouldn't hold it against him if it didn't register as something memorable.
But it did, and now he's trapped. ]
Yes, that.
[ His right hand flexes uselessly, and after a moment's hesitation he takes the sling off. It's not as if he's moving much, so his shoulder should be fine for a spell. He just needs to be able to clasp both hands together, resting on the knee he has pulled up, the grip immediately tight and unrelenting. One thumb rubs firmly, compulsively over the skin of the other hand. An easy way to ground himself as his mind gears up to do its best to fly away from his body. ]
She was my fiancée. It happened right before our wedding.
[ He blinks, several times, hard. Intentional. Keeps his vision focused. His breathing is even in a practiced way. Eren might recognize it from some exercises they've done. ]
She was never the same after she was hurt. The wedding was called off, and eventually–
[ How unreachable she was for months, staring into nothing, a shell of the woman he loved. How life was only breathed back into her during her breakdowns, reliving the murders again, and again, and again. How she couldn't even say his given name without triggering another episode, screaming at ghosts, driving herself into madness. How he'd gone his whole life keenly feeling others' pain, but never so intensely as hers, shredding him from the inside out as if it were his own. How he called out and a voice from his own soul answered–
And then nothing. Her eyes on his, bright and alive again, but entirely devoid of recognition.
How he let her go. ]
We had to go our separate ways, though neither of us wanted to.
[ His knuckles are white from how hard he's holding himself together. He smiles, despite it all. ]
Everything I do is for her. Everything.
But it did, and now he's trapped. ]
Yes, that.
[ His right hand flexes uselessly, and after a moment's hesitation he takes the sling off. It's not as if he's moving much, so his shoulder should be fine for a spell. He just needs to be able to clasp both hands together, resting on the knee he has pulled up, the grip immediately tight and unrelenting. One thumb rubs firmly, compulsively over the skin of the other hand. An easy way to ground himself as his mind gears up to do its best to fly away from his body. ]
She was my fiancée. It happened right before our wedding.
[ He blinks, several times, hard. Intentional. Keeps his vision focused. His breathing is even in a practiced way. Eren might recognize it from some exercises they've done. ]
She was never the same after she was hurt. The wedding was called off, and eventually–
[ How unreachable she was for months, staring into nothing, a shell of the woman he loved. How life was only breathed back into her during her breakdowns, reliving the murders again, and again, and again. How she couldn't even say his given name without triggering another episode, screaming at ghosts, driving herself into madness. How he'd gone his whole life keenly feeling others' pain, but never so intensely as hers, shredding him from the inside out as if it were his own. How he called out and a voice from his own soul answered–
And then nothing. Her eyes on his, bright and alive again, but entirely devoid of recognition.
How he let her go. ]
We had to go our separate ways, though neither of us wanted to.
[ His knuckles are white from how hard he's holding himself together. He smiles, despite it all. ]
Everything I do is for her. Everything.
[Maruki's pain. It's as real as any Eldian's.
[Lt. Tayrey spent months being tortured in a prison, and Maruki lost the woman he loved - had to separate himself from her for reasons Eren can only trust were out of his control.
[Vex's brother sacrificed himself to a God on her behalf; her beloved comrade betrayed everyone he knew when the world needed saving, and Maruki never had that wedding.
[Eren was carried away from his mother as she lay trapped under a pile of rubble, and then he woke up beside Mikasa - Maruki wakes up alone.
[Aubrey's friend died, leaving her brother behind. Akechi talks about his best friend in the past tense. Dolph had to kill his lover. Kanoa doesn't have a heart.
[Maruki's fiance was never the same. He aches. He longs. He doesn't tell anyone.
[He's telling Eren.
[The boy leans over the table, lays a hand on white knuckles. He nods.
[Everything he does is for her.]
I understand.
I hear you.
[Lt. Tayrey spent months being tortured in a prison, and Maruki lost the woman he loved - had to separate himself from her for reasons Eren can only trust were out of his control.
[Vex's brother sacrificed himself to a God on her behalf; her beloved comrade betrayed everyone he knew when the world needed saving, and Maruki never had that wedding.
[Eren was carried away from his mother as she lay trapped under a pile of rubble, and then he woke up beside Mikasa - Maruki wakes up alone.
[Aubrey's friend died, leaving her brother behind. Akechi talks about his best friend in the past tense. Dolph had to kill his lover. Kanoa doesn't have a heart.
[Maruki's fiance was never the same. He aches. He longs. He doesn't tell anyone.
[He's telling Eren.
[The boy leans over the table, lays a hand on white knuckles. He nods.
[Everything he does is for her.]
I understand.
I hear you.
[ That touch could ricochet through him like a bullet.
It draws everything into a much sharper focus. He said too much. He still lied, yet it was closer to the truth than the lie he told Akira. Even half a lie was too much. A crack in a mask can reveal an identity just as easily as throwing the mask away entirely can.
Some great, yawning chasm pulls him down and snaps its jaws shut. He feels pale, cold, ill, even if it doesn't actually show.
And Eren is so present, so compassionate. Maruki goes on autopilot, and his smile warms. ]
I appreciate that more than I can say.
[ He feigns a twinge of pain as an excuse to pull his hands away, busies himself with replacing the sling as he speaks. ]
I know I don't have to tell you this, but please keep that in confidence. It may seem like I've hardly told you anything, but–
[ The arm settles, he's now lost for anything to do with his hands again, his stomach lurches. ]
It isn't something that I divulge to just anyone.
[ He is never speaking of this again. ]
Thank you for listening. I mean that.
It draws everything into a much sharper focus. He said too much. He still lied, yet it was closer to the truth than the lie he told Akira. Even half a lie was too much. A crack in a mask can reveal an identity just as easily as throwing the mask away entirely can.
Some great, yawning chasm pulls him down and snaps its jaws shut. He feels pale, cold, ill, even if it doesn't actually show.
And Eren is so present, so compassionate. Maruki goes on autopilot, and his smile warms. ]
I appreciate that more than I can say.
[ He feigns a twinge of pain as an excuse to pull his hands away, busies himself with replacing the sling as he speaks. ]
I know I don't have to tell you this, but please keep that in confidence. It may seem like I've hardly told you anything, but–
[ The arm settles, he's now lost for anything to do with his hands again, his stomach lurches. ]
It isn't something that I divulge to just anyone.
[ He is never speaking of this again. ]
Thank you for listening. I mean that.
It doesn't seem that way - that you've hardly told me anything. [No. What Maruki told him matters. Eren doesn't take that lightly...
[His hand is returned to himself, and he gives Maruki a firm look, a firmer nod.]
I won't tell anyone. You can trust me.
[His hand is returned to himself, and he gives Maruki a firm look, a firmer nod.]
I won't tell anyone. You can trust me.
[ Maruki believes him, instantly and implicitly. The rush of sincere gratitude is almost enough to overpower the steadily mounting nausea. Both make his throat tight when he speaks. ]
I do trust you. I hope that you trust me.
[ He desperately needs to get away from this situation, but that feels important to tackle first. ]
I do trust you. I hope that you trust me.
[ He desperately needs to get away from this situation, but that feels important to tackle first. ]
[At this, some guilt pains Eren's expression. He's quiet for a long moment.]
I want to. [A pause, a moment.] I think...maybe I trust people too easily sometimes.
But...if you want the real truth...[Green eyes find Maruki's.] I wouldn't have told you all that...if I didn't trust you. [He's just not sure that he's supposed to.]
Maruki...
Would you be upset if I wasn't your patient anymore?
What if I was just your friend, instead? [Could that even work? Eren tells him so much, and it's Maruki's job to ask more, help navigate. Eren doesn't necessarily want that to go away, he--]
I'm...not saying I don't want to be. And I'm grateful. That's the truth.
But I was just thinking about it...
One's more important. That's all.
I want to. [A pause, a moment.] I think...maybe I trust people too easily sometimes.
But...if you want the real truth...[Green eyes find Maruki's.] I wouldn't have told you all that...if I didn't trust you. [He's just not sure that he's supposed to.]
Maruki...
Would you be upset if I wasn't your patient anymore?
What if I was just your friend, instead? [Could that even work? Eren tells him so much, and it's Maruki's job to ask more, help navigate. Eren doesn't necessarily want that to go away, he--]
I'm...not saying I don't want to be. And I'm grateful. That's the truth.
But I was just thinking about it...
One's more important. That's all.
Edited 2024-06-02 06:59 (UTC)
[ Everything drops away. ]
What?
[ Of all the analysis he did of their strange conversation days ago, of all of the paths he expected this one to go down, this was never a possibility in his mind.
Somehow, it has the effect of instantly stopping the steadily increasing swell of nausea from probing into parts of his own mind that remain locked. A forced override. His expression is blank with shock before he can manage to school it into anything else, and it remains that way for a long moment. ]
That's...
[ The chasm that swallowed him just moments ago grows long, ropey arms with spindly, sharp-edged hands.
It's always with you. There, when you need it most, even if you can't summon it.
Then why can't he fix this? ]
I'm sorry, I–
[ That manages to knock him back into himself, and he shakes his head, adjusts his glasses, grounds himself by force while everything rings in his ears so loudly that he can hardly hear himself. He just has to trust that his tone is as genuine and sympathetic and patient as he means it to be. ]
Sorry, I was still caught up in my own memories. Ah– but no, I wouldn't be upset, of course not. It's always your choice whether or not you'd like to pursue counseling.
[ He can't even feel the searing pain down his back anymore. ]
One is more important than the other, I'll agree with you there.
[ He doesn't say which. ]
But it is possible to be both.
[ Akira, glasses fogged, grin bright.
Maruki feels himself smile, soft and encouraging. ]
I leave that choice up to you.
What?
[ Of all the analysis he did of their strange conversation days ago, of all of the paths he expected this one to go down, this was never a possibility in his mind.
Somehow, it has the effect of instantly stopping the steadily increasing swell of nausea from probing into parts of his own mind that remain locked. A forced override. His expression is blank with shock before he can manage to school it into anything else, and it remains that way for a long moment. ]
That's...
[ The chasm that swallowed him just moments ago grows long, ropey arms with spindly, sharp-edged hands.
It's always with you. There, when you need it most, even if you can't summon it.
Then why can't he fix this? ]
I'm sorry, I–
[ That manages to knock him back into himself, and he shakes his head, adjusts his glasses, grounds himself by force while everything rings in his ears so loudly that he can hardly hear himself. He just has to trust that his tone is as genuine and sympathetic and patient as he means it to be. ]
Sorry, I was still caught up in my own memories. Ah– but no, I wouldn't be upset, of course not. It's always your choice whether or not you'd like to pursue counseling.
[ He can't even feel the searing pain down his back anymore. ]
One is more important than the other, I'll agree with you there.
[ He doesn't say which. ]
But it is possible to be both.
[ Akira, glasses fogged, grin bright.
Maruki feels himself smile, soft and encouraging. ]
I leave that choice up to you.
[Not...the reaction he was expecting.
[Is Maruki afraid of losing him too, or...?
[No, things...have never made less sense than they do right now, actually, and Eren is no closer to knowing what he wants.
[He's concerned.]
That bothered you. Why did that bother you?
[Is Maruki afraid of losing him too, or...?
[No, things...have never made less sense than they do right now, actually, and Eren is no closer to knowing what he wants.
[He's concerned.]
That bothered you. Why did that bother you?
[ Recalibrate. Focus. Act.
As recently came to light: Maruki is a liar. A good one.
His eyebrows bow to meet in the middle, mouth turning down at the corners. ]
I'm sorry, it was just because I was so stuck in my own mind. When I talk about– her, things tend to get foggy. I can lose my senses.
[ He closes his eyes, shakes his head. ]
I'm sure you can understand that...
[ Things are settling, aftershocks fading. The calm after an earthquake can be the most terrifying part.
When he looks at Eren again, he draws a deep breath and then laughs, entirely good-natured, left hand held up in front of him. ]
Seriously, sorry. The conversation shift while I was in that state startled me, but that's not your fault. I meant what I said, though – whatever you choose will be the right choice for you.
As recently came to light: Maruki is a liar. A good one.
His eyebrows bow to meet in the middle, mouth turning down at the corners. ]
I'm sorry, it was just because I was so stuck in my own mind. When I talk about– her, things tend to get foggy. I can lose my senses.
[ He closes his eyes, shakes his head. ]
I'm sure you can understand that...
[ Things are settling, aftershocks fading. The calm after an earthquake can be the most terrifying part.
When he looks at Eren again, he draws a deep breath and then laughs, entirely good-natured, left hand held up in front of him. ]
Seriously, sorry. The conversation shift while I was in that state startled me, but that's not your fault. I meant what I said, though – whatever you choose will be the right choice for you.
[...
[Eren doesn't believe it. But maybe that's wishful thinking - narcissistic, even. Not everyone cares about Eren the way he cares about others. That's been a tough lesson. He really doesn't know Maruki at all.
[He averts his eyes. Fine. Then it's his decision. Pick the one you'll regret the least, right?
[Maruki helps him.]
You've helped me. Do you know that? [Eyes back to Maruki. Who the Hell are you?] Have I told you?
[Eren doesn't believe it. But maybe that's wishful thinking - narcissistic, even. Not everyone cares about Eren the way he cares about others. That's been a tough lesson. He really doesn't know Maruki at all.
[He averts his eyes. Fine. Then it's his decision. Pick the one you'll regret the least, right?
[Maruki helps him.]
You've helped me. Do you know that? [Eyes back to Maruki. Who the Hell are you?] Have I told you?
[ Everything slides back to where it should be, just as abruptly as it fell apart.
He is without control in this reality, but he is not without control over himself.
He shifts to stretch his legs out in front of him beneath the table, stretching out a tightness in his hips that he can feel again. Eyebrows raise, eyes brighten. A hopeful smile. It all looks genuine, and it is. ]
Have I? I'm really glad to hear that...
[ Self-deprecating little laugh. Warm, patient gaze. Gentle tone. Genuine, too, all of it. ]
As much as I hate to admit it, Eren-kun, I can definitely relate to trusting people too quickly. You have a huge heart. That's an incredible strength, but it also means you can get easily hurt. I've been there many times myself. So, any trepidation you have... It doesn't upset me. I understand it.
He is without control in this reality, but he is not without control over himself.
He shifts to stretch his legs out in front of him beneath the table, stretching out a tightness in his hips that he can feel again. Eyebrows raise, eyes brighten. A hopeful smile. It all looks genuine, and it is. ]
Have I? I'm really glad to hear that...
[ Self-deprecating little laugh. Warm, patient gaze. Gentle tone. Genuine, too, all of it. ]
As much as I hate to admit it, Eren-kun, I can definitely relate to trusting people too quickly. You have a huge heart. That's an incredible strength, but it also means you can get easily hurt. I've been there many times myself. So, any trepidation you have... It doesn't upset me. I understand it.
[Maruki passes with flying colors.
[Levi warned of honeyed words and half-truths in the interest of reaching a goal, and it didn't fall on deaf ears, but Eren is a child, and he wants to believe that the one person whose managed to help him start to understand himself isn't out to get him.
[After all, what motivation does Maruki have to hurt him? It's not like this is a service he's offering exclusively to Eren. This is what he does. And they aren't just patient and doctor. They're friends. Eren does trust him. He can't help him. He's trusted him for a while now...
[He tells himself he'll be careful; he doesn't feel as though he needs to be.]
Yeah, well...[Something in him eases. Maruki's good at what he does.] You have helped, yeah. Not much else does. Nothing does, really...
[There's something else too. Eren isn't afraid of disappointing Maruki. He feels as though he can't. That isn't true with Captain Levi, or Mikasa, or Jean, no matter how gracious they've been. It's not that Eren doesn't appreciate that - God, how couldn't he? - but...
[Maruki's too far removed from their world to be someone that Eren fears.]
So, I...don't want to stop being your patient, I just...want to be your friend too. [He tries to catch Maruki's gaze - look at him one-on-one.]
That means...you can rely on me too. I'm not a child. I want to be equals.
[Levi warned of honeyed words and half-truths in the interest of reaching a goal, and it didn't fall on deaf ears, but Eren is a child, and he wants to believe that the one person whose managed to help him start to understand himself isn't out to get him.
[After all, what motivation does Maruki have to hurt him? It's not like this is a service he's offering exclusively to Eren. This is what he does. And they aren't just patient and doctor. They're friends. Eren does trust him. He can't help him. He's trusted him for a while now...
[He tells himself he'll be careful; he doesn't feel as though he needs to be.]
Yeah, well...[Something in him eases. Maruki's good at what he does.] You have helped, yeah. Not much else does. Nothing does, really...
[There's something else too. Eren isn't afraid of disappointing Maruki. He feels as though he can't. That isn't true with Captain Levi, or Mikasa, or Jean, no matter how gracious they've been. It's not that Eren doesn't appreciate that - God, how couldn't he? - but...
[Maruki's too far removed from their world to be someone that Eren fears.]
So, I...don't want to stop being your patient, I just...want to be your friend too. [He tries to catch Maruki's gaze - look at him one-on-one.]
That means...you can rely on me too. I'm not a child. I want to be equals.
[ Relief floods every cell in his body, breathes in new life. That was very nearly a perilous thing, and he managed to salvage it, even without Azathoth truly present.
It does mean that eventually, the realization of what he revealed to Eren will sneak back in, turn his stomach again, force him to isolate until the fog passes. But for now it's kept at bay. ]
I want that too. To be your counselor and your friend.
[ Maruki grins, extends a hand across the table to shake. ]
This is something that someone else very important to me once did.
[ It was wholly different than this, both in circumstances and in outcome, but the principle remains the same. ]
I'll rely on you just as you rely on me. Do we have a deal?
It does mean that eventually, the realization of what he revealed to Eren will sneak back in, turn his stomach again, force him to isolate until the fog passes. But for now it's kept at bay. ]
I want that too. To be your counselor and your friend.
[ Maruki grins, extends a hand across the table to shake. ]
This is something that someone else very important to me once did.
[ It was wholly different than this, both in circumstances and in outcome, but the principle remains the same. ]
I'll rely on you just as you rely on me. Do we have a deal?
Edited 2024-06-02 08:28 (UTC)
text @glowbug [the thread where lior finds out hes a horribly injured liar idiot]
invigorates
2024-06-05 11:27 am (UTC)(link)
Hello, Maruki. Are you in your new office by chance?
I am in the area and thought I might drop by to see your new business, if you do not mind the company.
Wonderful, I shall be there swiftly.
( And she is! About five minutes later she knocks on the door to warn him of her arrival, stepping in after she assured it wasn't locked.
She brought blueberry scones from the bakery in town because of course she fucking did. )
Good afternoon- ( insert pause for when she sees his LYING ASS. )
( And she is! About five minutes later she knocks on the door to warn him of her arrival, stepping in after she assured it wasn't locked.
She brought blueberry scones from the bakery in town because of course she fucking did. )
Good afternoon- ( insert pause for when she sees his LYING ASS. )
[ The thought of how he's fucked up does not occur to him until Lioriley enters the door. His friendly greeting smile freezes instantly on his face.
Maruki is healing. Slowly, but healing. The superficial cuts and scrapes and bruises visible in the few places his skin shows are fading, and he moves a little easier than he did when he first stumbled to the clinic to be stitched up. But his right arm is still very much in a sling, and he is still very clearly not in great shape.
Maruki laughs nervously, closes the journal he's been indexing and stands, more than a little sheepish. ]
Lioriley-san, hello. Before you say anything, please understand that I wasn't kidding when I said it could have been much, much worse.
Maruki is healing. Slowly, but healing. The superficial cuts and scrapes and bruises visible in the few places his skin shows are fading, and he moves a little easier than he did when he first stumbled to the clinic to be stitched up. But his right arm is still very much in a sling, and he is still very clearly not in great shape.
Maruki laughs nervously, closes the journal he's been indexing and stands, more than a little sheepish. ]
Lioriley-san, hello. Before you say anything, please understand that I wasn't kidding when I said it could have been much, much worse.
( She sets the scones down, frowning up at him as he stands. The audacity to lie to her like this! And to do so days ago and still look awful. )
That hardly makes your condition any less concerning, my friend. ( Her voice is calm, her leylines as steady as her heartbeat. She has scolded so many people like this before. ) You should be resting, but I am sure you are well aware of that.
That hardly makes your condition any less concerning, my friend. ( Her voice is calm, her leylines as steady as her heartbeat. She has scolded so many people like this before. ) You should be resting, but I am sure you are well aware of that.
Given your work is not physical, I suppose it might seem as such.
( Stubborn. What a surprise from a man in a field relatively similar to her own. )
You should not be ignoring your pain. Do you have someone checking your wounds regularly?
( Stubborn. What a surprise from a man in a field relatively similar to her own. )
You should not be ignoring your pain. Do you have someone checking your wounds regularly?
Ah... Well, I've been told to go back to the clinic in another few days to be checked up on, but aside from that...
[ He's considered asking Akechi, but they both had only attempted to care for the other's wounds out of necessity, no other options present to them and death the only alternative. It's not something to bother him with now that they're back. ]
I'm sure you're going to scold me for that too.
[ He's considered asking Akechi, but they both had only attempted to care for the other's wounds out of necessity, no other options present to them and death the only alternative. It's not something to bother him with now that they're back. ]
I'm sure you're going to scold me for that too.
Twas not my intent to scold. You are hardly a child. ( Young to a woman so much older. Not so much as a human. ) I am close by- will be, once my clinic is completed. Allow me to extend the offer of more... routine visits, if you so wish it. Until you are healed fully.
Although such meetings need not end entirely. I would like to consider us friends.
Although such meetings need not end entirely. I would like to consider us friends.
[ That'll brighten Maruki up. He grins down at her as he comes around to check out the scones. ]
Really? Do you mean it? I'd appreciate that. Ah, but– I'm looking to avoid magical healing, if I can at all help it.
[ Does she practice good old regular degular modern(-ish) medicine? God he hopes so. ]
Really? Do you mean it? I'd appreciate that. Ah, but– I'm looking to avoid magical healing, if I can at all help it.
[ Does she practice good old regular degular modern(-ish) medicine? God he hopes so. ]
I do.
( She's dabbled. The boon of being old and well-traveled is that she has met most of the rare physicians of her world. That, and she's spent some time at the hospital to study the more mundane practices.)
I am capable of aiding without it. Might I ask why you have an aversion?
( She's dabbled. The boon of being old and well-traveled is that she has met most of the rare physicians of her world. That, and she's spent some time at the hospital to study the more mundane practices.)
I am capable of aiding without it. Might I ask why you have an aversion?
Hah, that is the question, isn't it. Well...
[ It's not a topic that Maruki avoids for any true emotional reason. His reticence to discuss it is practical in nature: Somnius is a volatile place, filled with dreamers from realities more difficult than he could ever hope to imagine. The worst thing to happen to him back home would be a banner day for most people here. Comparing pains isn't useful in the slightest, but he's cognizant of the fact that his pacifistic ideology was a privilege.
As he speaks, he'll bring the scones over to the table in front of the little sofa, gesture for her to join him. ]
I was fortunate enough to not experience pain for almost my entire life, and it's become a true avoidance. This was my first major injury, and it was because of a situation I put myself in. So... I'm using it as a learning experience, to find the value in my own pain.
[ There's more to it than that, but that's the general gist, and it runs deeper than he could ever hope to express.
He takes an appreciative bite out of the scone – those gelflings really know what they're doing! ]
Hopefully that makes sense?
[ It's not a topic that Maruki avoids for any true emotional reason. His reticence to discuss it is practical in nature: Somnius is a volatile place, filled with dreamers from realities more difficult than he could ever hope to imagine. The worst thing to happen to him back home would be a banner day for most people here. Comparing pains isn't useful in the slightest, but he's cognizant of the fact that his pacifistic ideology was a privilege.
As he speaks, he'll bring the scones over to the table in front of the little sofa, gesture for her to join him. ]
I was fortunate enough to not experience pain for almost my entire life, and it's become a true avoidance. This was my first major injury, and it was because of a situation I put myself in. So... I'm using it as a learning experience, to find the value in my own pain.
[ There's more to it than that, but that's the general gist, and it runs deeper than he could ever hope to express.
He takes an appreciative bite out of the scone – those gelflings really know what they're doing! ]
Hopefully that makes sense?
( She sat, legs crossed and hands resting atop her thigh. Lioriley always assumed it was an aversion to magic, given that it was a rarity even back home. Offer any human magical healing and they would either assume it was fake, or be horrified by the very prospect of it.
Maruki's answer surprised her, for obvious reasons. )
Sense enough, I suppose, if that is how you wish to see yourself through it. ( it was not a path she would recommend, but so long as he was taking care of it, she had no right to object. ) Have you learned anything from this experience?
Maruki's answer surprised her, for obvious reasons. )
Sense enough, I suppose, if that is how you wish to see yourself through it. ( it was not a path she would recommend, but so long as he was taking care of it, she had no right to object. ) Have you learned anything from this experience?
How to dodge, mostly.
[ An immediate, easy joke, with a grin that crinkles up into his eyes. ]
Beyond that, yes. I've learned an important lesson in the consequences of my own foolish actions, and something about relying on others when help is offered.
[ Another bite of the scone and then he gestures to the little box. ]
They're so good, thank you very much! Please, have one, I can't eat them all and my patients will descend on them like jackals.
[ An immediate, easy joke, with a grin that crinkles up into his eyes. ]
Beyond that, yes. I've learned an important lesson in the consequences of my own foolish actions, and something about relying on others when help is offered.
[ Another bite of the scone and then he gestures to the little box. ]
They're so good, thank you very much! Please, have one, I can't eat them all and my patients will descend on them like jackals.
( If Lioriley caught the joke, she sure didn't make it obvious with the way her serene expression did not change in the slightest. )
Difficult lessons to learn, and often can only be done so amidst crisis.
( She didn't want a scone, but politeness demanded she take one anyway, chewing on it fully before speaking.)
It is difficult to discern how one might respond to danger while all is peaceful, hm?
Difficult lessons to learn, and often can only be done so amidst crisis.
( She didn't want a scone, but politeness demanded she take one anyway, chewing on it fully before speaking.)
It is difficult to discern how one might respond to danger while all is peaceful, hm?
[ Tough crowd! But also, an entirely valid question, and one he's been mulling over in his spare time. Maruki settles back into his corner of the couch with a little sigh. ]
Indeed. I won't pretend my reality was easy, but there were definitely fewer instances of mortal peril. Guess I'm growing by force.
[ He remembers their Sleepr conversation. Hadn't appreciated it enough at the time, but in hindsight... ]
I'm even more impressed now that you can fight but choose not to. Can I ask... hah, maybe this is too deep of a question for a snack break, but I really am curious...
What drives that?
Indeed. I won't pretend my reality was easy, but there were definitely fewer instances of mortal peril. Guess I'm growing by force.
[ He remembers their Sleepr conversation. Hadn't appreciated it enough at the time, but in hindsight... ]
I'm even more impressed now that you can fight but choose not to. Can I ask... hah, maybe this is too deep of a question for a snack break, but I really am curious...
What drives that?
( Her expression dimmed slightly, glowing lines upon her skin flickering. She would not wish such experiences on anyone, and she loathed to think that Maruki had no choice now but to suffer such peril. )
I have seen enough death. ( The simple answer while she considered her further response. ) Wars waged for naught, lives lost by the thousands for a cause most of them did not even understand. I am but one person - but I always hope my desire to resolve such situations without violence will be noticed and adopted by others.
I have been told I am naive for my way of thinking.
I have seen enough death. ( The simple answer while she considered her further response. ) Wars waged for naught, lives lost by the thousands for a cause most of them did not even understand. I am but one person - but I always hope my desire to resolve such situations without violence will be noticed and adopted by others.
I have been told I am naive for my way of thinking.
[ The simple answer says it all, but the details wring a tight fist around Maruki's heart. He's already so preoccupied by the suffering seen in his own reality, in this one, heard about in others' – it's impossible to imagine living for so long and witnessing so much more.
But there's no pity in his tone when he speaks, only strong conviction. ]
I don't think that's naïve at all. I think that's incredibly strong. It's easy, I imagine, to default to attacking – it's more difficult to engage peacefully as you do.
[ The scone is a bit tasteless on his tongue now as he takes another bite and considers his next words. It's a dicey thing to promise, considering the powers that he knows he needs to regain, but– ]
You're not only one anymore. I'm with you in that resolve.
But there's no pity in his tone when he speaks, only strong conviction. ]
I don't think that's naïve at all. I think that's incredibly strong. It's easy, I imagine, to default to attacking – it's more difficult to engage peacefully as you do.
[ The scone is a bit tasteless on his tongue now as he takes another bite and considers his next words. It's a dicey thing to promise, considering the powers that he knows he needs to regain, but– ]
You're not only one anymore. I'm with you in that resolve.
( It was funny how Lioriley always thought the opposite. It was so much easier for her to be kind, to abstain from violence where the rest of the world did not. It was the opposition that made it far more difficult. )
I am glad for that. ( She said, smiling over at him again.) I pray we never need to prove such convictions here, but I am sure I am being far too optimistic in that regard.
I am glad for that. ( She said, smiling over at him again.) I pray we never need to prove such convictions here, but I am sure I am being far too optimistic in that regard.
[ It feels duplicitous, having conversations like this while fully intending on regaining his power and working his hardest to find a way to peel back the layers of reality and confront the true powers that be in this place. Maruki isn't foolish enough to believe he'll be able to do that without fighting at all – but for all intents and purposes, her brand of pacifism still speaks deeply to him, and he doesn't want her to feel so alone.
Which reminds him, and he sits up straighter with a start, eyes going wide. ]
I just realized– I meant to reach out to thank you again for your papers, but time got away from me! I'm so sorry! Lioriley-san, I really can't thank you enough. They've been such a huge help, and I think I've only gotten through a quarter of them at best. The work you've done to record everything... It really is unmatched.
[ It comes out in a rush, but it's earnest. ]
How can I repay you? And don't say that I don't need to! I want to.
Which reminds him, and he sits up straighter with a start, eyes going wide. ]
I just realized– I meant to reach out to thank you again for your papers, but time got away from me! I'm so sorry! Lioriley-san, I really can't thank you enough. They've been such a huge help, and I think I've only gotten through a quarter of them at best. The work you've done to record everything... It really is unmatched.
[ It comes out in a rush, but it's earnest. ]
How can I repay you? And don't say that I don't need to! I want to.
( For whatever it was worth... at least he would try? Lioriley could not fault someone for making an active effort to do things nonviolently, even it they did not succeed.)
Ah- ( Her hand shot up, dismissive - it's fine, - the leylines curved along her cheeks brightening at the sudden insistence. Lioriley was never good at accepting repayment for favors. ) It is in my nature to document and share knowledge as I am able, there really is no need for repayment.
( Really. You're embarrassing her, Maruki. ) Simply share any knowledge you might find that I missed. That is all you need do.
Ah- ( Her hand shot up, dismissive - it's fine, - the leylines curved along her cheeks brightening at the sudden insistence. Lioriley was never good at accepting repayment for favors. ) It is in my nature to document and share knowledge as I am able, there really is no need for repayment.
( Really. You're embarrassing her, Maruki. ) Simply share any knowledge you might find that I missed. That is all you need do.
[ From someone not used to repayment to another: Too bad! He's repaying!! ]
Well, sure, I'm happy to do that. Collaborating with you in that way is an honor. But I mean it when I say it's been really helpful for my work so far... I'd like to do something more to show my gratitude.
[ He suddenly points to the scones, grinning brightly. ]
And you brought me sweets! Come on, Lioriley-san. There has to be something I can do.
Well, sure, I'm happy to do that. Collaborating with you in that way is an honor. But I mean it when I say it's been really helpful for my work so far... I'd like to do something more to show my gratitude.
[ He suddenly points to the scones, grinning brightly. ]
And you brought me sweets! Come on, Lioriley-san. There has to be something I can do.
( STOP IT. You're embarrassing her!! )
I - ( She genuinely couldn't think of anything. Lioriley's cheeks bloomed with heat, the color a deep purple over the usual pink or red. ) I suppose I will have to think of something. Until then, please just accept my offer of information exchange.
I - ( She genuinely couldn't think of anything. Lioriley's cheeks bloomed with heat, the color a deep purple over the usual pink or red. ) I suppose I will have to think of something. Until then, please just accept my offer of information exchange.
[Happy 2:30 AM, Maruki. He knows the man will wake up to this text because of his insane 24/7 on call policy.]
My apologies, I hope this doesn't wake you. I had a thought about your persona.
Do you have a moment to talk? Through text is fine. I only need a confirmation or two for my theory.
My apologies, I hope this doesn't wake you. I had a thought about your persona.
Do you have a moment to talk? Through text is fine. I only need a confirmation or two for my theory.
[ Two buzzes. One eye open. A singular blue-toned light in a dark room.
Maruki rolls onto his right side, newly healed from Azathoth's overeager caretaking, and stares at the wall that connects their rooms. Why can't he just come in and talk? Or better yet, wait until breakfast? Dear god.
Well, whatever. ]
yep
Maruki rolls onto his right side, newly healed from Azathoth's overeager caretaking, and stares at the wall that connects their rooms. Why can't he just come in and talk? Or better yet, wait until breakfast? Dear god.
Well, whatever. ]
yep
[Because he's thinking about it now and someone needs to learn the consequences of being available 24/7!]
Thank you for indulging my curiosity. I simply couldn't sleep until I got an answer.
I doubt you're aware of this, but there are different types of persona. Of course, elemental affiliation, abilities and appearance distinguish them too.
However, some form with the intent to act as pure support - let's call it a navigator, if you will. Does this make sense?
Thank you for indulging my curiosity. I simply couldn't sleep until I got an answer.
I doubt you're aware of this, but there are different types of persona. Of course, elemental affiliation, abilities and appearance distinguish them too.
However, some form with the intent to act as pure support - let's call it a navigator, if you will. Does this make sense?
[ Unfortunately, groggy as he is, Maruki is deeply interested in learning more about how this is all supposed to work. So yes, he's sitting up in bed and waking himself up enough to read, absorb, answer. ]
Sure, that makes as much sense as anything else. Someone has to act as intelligence, I suppose.
Sure, that makes as much sense as anything else. Someone has to act as intelligence, I suppose.
It's more than that.
Status buffs, healing, combat enhancements and enemy debuffs are among the abilities.
A user of such a persona will have their own set of skills to utilize with it. It even extends to greater memory over weaknesses, strengths, and techniques of others during encounters.
Among other things.
Of course, I'm speaking only from anecdotal accounts. Please take this with a grain of salt. I don't have experience with it.
When you summoned Azathoth, could you sense anything about Robin Hood?
Status buffs, healing, combat enhancements and enemy debuffs are among the abilities.
A user of such a persona will have their own set of skills to utilize with it. It even extends to greater memory over weaknesses, strengths, and techniques of others during encounters.
Among other things.
Of course, I'm speaking only from anecdotal accounts. Please take this with a grain of salt. I don't have experience with it.
When you summoned Azathoth, could you sense anything about Robin Hood?
Edited 2024-06-18 00:36 (UTC)
[ gee akechi those are some DETAILED anecdotal accounts you've heard ]
That's really interesting. I'd love to hear more of these anecdotes sometime.
But no... I don't recall learning anything about Robin Hood. Then again, I was entirely focused on Vash. That may not be the best sample to draw from.
That's really interesting. I'd love to hear more of these anecdotes sometime.
But no... I don't recall learning anything about Robin Hood. Then again, I was entirely focused on Vash. That may not be the best sample to draw from.
[ Azathoth is summoned, silently. No need for the dramatic yell, dear lord.
Maruki gets up, quietly pads out his door with Azathoth's ridiculous hulking form in tow.
Opens up Akechi's door without knocking.
Stands there in the doorway, squinting without his glasses, in his pyjamas, with his absurd bedhead, with Azathoth, staring at him and Robin Hood in silence for a good few seconds.
Closes the door.
Dispels Azathoth.
Returns to his room. ]
Maruki gets up, quietly pads out his door with Azathoth's ridiculous hulking form in tow.
Opens up Akechi's door without knocking.
Stands there in the doorway, squinting without his glasses, in his pyjamas, with his absurd bedhead, with Azathoth, staring at him and Robin Hood in silence for a good few seconds.
Closes the door.
Dispels Azathoth.
Returns to his room. ]
Edited 2024-06-18 00:55 (UTC)
[No answer until-
The door swings open. Akechi peers up at him, only the glow of his cellphone illuminating the small area near his 'bed'.
A look. Robin Hood's towering figure miniscule compared to Maruki's shit.
It's silent. Akechi doesn't say a word. Only stares him, genuine surprise on his features before-
The door shuts.
His phone buzzes.]
The door swings open. Akechi peers up at him, only the glow of his cellphone illuminating the small area near his 'bed'.
A look. Robin Hood's towering figure miniscule compared to Maruki's shit.
It's silent. Akechi doesn't say a word. Only stares him, genuine surprise on his features before-
The door shuts.
His phone buzzes.]
[Now it's Akechi's turn to storm over.
He opens Maruki's door with dramatic flourish, Robin Hood the ever dutiful protector behind him. No bedhead, adorned in loose fitting casual pj's and a pleasant smile as he grips the doorframe tight. Those stupid fucking tentacles are not pushing him out.]
Try again - this time concentrate a little harder. I'll give you a very simple direction that even a toddler could follow.
Tell me Robin Hood's weakness.
He opens Maruki's door with dramatic flourish, Robin Hood the ever dutiful protector behind him. No bedhead, adorned in loose fitting casual pj's and a pleasant smile as he grips the doorframe tight. Those stupid fucking tentacles are not pushing him out.]
Try again - this time concentrate a little harder. I'll give you a very simple direction that even a toddler could follow.
Tell me Robin Hood's weakness.
[ Oh good. Now they can barge into each other's rooms unannounced. Now all bets are off.
Maruki calls Azathoth forth once more and puts true, genuine, good faith effort into trying to discern... anything at all.
It's a blank. He doesn't know anything beyond what he's seen. ]
Well, I've seen you use light attacks. So some form of darkness? But that's my inference, nothing to do with Azathoth.
[ Azathoth, who is staring Akechi down with its weird glowing beady eyes and wiggly tentacles. ]
Maruki calls Azathoth forth once more and puts true, genuine, good faith effort into trying to discern... anything at all.
It's a blank. He doesn't know anything beyond what he's seen. ]
Well, I've seen you use light attacks. So some form of darkness? But that's my inference, nothing to do with Azathoth.
[ Azathoth, who is staring Akechi down with its weird glowing beady eyes and wiggly tentacles. ]
[It's disappointing and exciting in equal measure. Even Akechi's own minor Navigator capabilities allow him to discern more than that, experience aside. It's a mystery - a thrilling, frustrating and bizarre one.
Robin Hood dissipates in a flurry of light. Azathoth is watching him. Akechi stares back. He isn't going to be intimidated by some weird ass persona.]
Incorrect, in a sense.
[He is, in fact, correct about Robin Hood, but-
Loki is a different story.]
That's all I wanted. I told you it would be quick, though it could have gone faster had that miscommunication not occurred. Please be more cognizant when reading requests next time.
[Asshole. He removes his death grip from the door frame and offers a small smile with a little wave.]
Have a good night, Maruki.
Robin Hood dissipates in a flurry of light. Azathoth is watching him. Akechi stares back. He isn't going to be intimidated by some weird ass persona.]
Incorrect, in a sense.
[He is, in fact, correct about Robin Hood, but-
Loki is a different story.]
That's all I wanted. I told you it would be quick, though it could have gone faster had that miscommunication not occurred. Please be more cognizant when reading requests next time.
[Asshole. He removes his death grip from the door frame and offers a small smile with a little wave.]
Have a good night, Maruki.
[ Akechi is a liar. And he's already committed to helping Maruki learn and train his persona. If there's information he can infer, he will, and that ruse of not having any experience himself won't hold up. If he's capable of it, he'd be better off copping to it up front.
And anyway, he hasn't been at this long, right? Has only heard anecdotes of others who can wield personas, never met one, isn't that what he said?
So Azathoth's many tentacles wriggle enticingly. ]
Your turn. Let me know what Robin Hood picks up about my friend here. Maybe it knows more than you've been able to test thus far.
And anyway, he hasn't been at this long, right? Has only heard anecdotes of others who can wield personas, never met one, isn't that what he said?
So Azathoth's many tentacles wriggle enticingly. ]
Your turn. Let me know what Robin Hood picks up about my friend here. Maybe it knows more than you've been able to test thus far.
Edited (he never disappeared... also this is worse anyway ) 2024-06-18 01:32 (UTC)
I'm not a navigator. Short of trial and error through attack and observance, I doubt I'll find out much.
[But it is 2:30 AM. Maruki indulged his request and he'll do the same.
'Robin Hood' is called forth again and-
He is a goddamn navigator. This is a good opportunity for him. Vash's fiasco too chaotic, Maruki's summon too bizarre for him to to do any traditional skill checks.
Akechi doesn't move. Neither does Robin Hood and-
It doesn't matter.
Azathoth sans tentacles has no weakness to decipher in few seconds he concentrates on the creature. Nothing. Not impossible of shadows, but uncommon. Beyond rare. Only a handful confronted in Akechi's time in the Metaverse.
Eyes widen and eyebrows raise - a hint of the surprise he truly feels, but nothing else betrays his actual reaction. His expression remains neutral, if not bored, and that look in his eyes levels out in an instant.
Robin Hood vanishes again.]
As expected - nothing. My apologies if that's disappointing. It's a shame my capabilities are limited to battle, but we'll find out in time what your weakness is through training. While not important at the moment, it is vital information so you can cover yourself appropriately.
[A pause. He turns to leave and in a voice light, airy and almost playful-]
Or maybe I found out and want to keep it to myself so I can easily take you down someday. Wouldn't it be funny if you were weak to bless skills? [A pause. Smile plastered.] I'm kidding, of course. Do you have any other questions?
[But it is 2:30 AM. Maruki indulged his request and he'll do the same.
'Robin Hood' is called forth again and-
He is a goddamn navigator. This is a good opportunity for him. Vash's fiasco too chaotic, Maruki's summon too bizarre for him to to do any traditional skill checks.
Akechi doesn't move. Neither does Robin Hood and-
It doesn't matter.
Azathoth sans tentacles has no weakness to decipher in few seconds he concentrates on the creature. Nothing. Not impossible of shadows, but uncommon. Beyond rare. Only a handful confronted in Akechi's time in the Metaverse.
Eyes widen and eyebrows raise - a hint of the surprise he truly feels, but nothing else betrays his actual reaction. His expression remains neutral, if not bored, and that look in his eyes levels out in an instant.
Robin Hood vanishes again.]
As expected - nothing. My apologies if that's disappointing. It's a shame my capabilities are limited to battle, but we'll find out in time what your weakness is through training. While not important at the moment, it is vital information so you can cover yourself appropriately.
[A pause. He turns to leave and in a voice light, airy and almost playful-]
Or maybe I found out and want to keep it to myself so I can easily take you down someday. Wouldn't it be funny if you were weak to bless skills? [A pause. Smile plastered.] I'm kidding, of course. Do you have any other questions?
[ Maruki raises his eyebrows mildly at the first result, but then when Akechi starts to mess with him, his expression splits into a genuine grin. ]
If you have to resort to subterfuge to win against me, I'm going to be really disappointed.
[ Azathoth is finally gone again, for the last time. Maruki waves at the blurry form of Akechi in the darkened doorway. ]
No, that's all. Let's do this again sometime.
If you have to resort to subterfuge to win against me, I'm going to be really disappointed.
[ Azathoth is finally gone again, for the last time. Maruki waves at the blurry form of Akechi in the darkened doorway. ]
No, that's all. Let's do this again sometime.
[Eren texted Maruki before closing in on the Green Knight, just like he promised. After that, he had other things to worry about.
[Now that things have settled down...he thinks to give at least a couple of people an update. Maruki is one of them.]
I'm here.
Are you alright?
[Now that things have settled down...he thinks to give at least a couple of people an update. Maruki is one of them.]
I'm here.
Are you alright?
[ A seemingly simple act, remembering to send that text message, but it's one Maruki won't forget. Eren can't possibly know how anxious the whole ordeal made him; any little bit done to allay that, by anyone, was so deeply and profoundly important to him.
And now... well! Every message received is a bit of a jumpscare, but at least this one turns out to be a welcome sight. ]
I'm alright too. Everything worked out in the end.
What about you? How are you doing?
And now... well! Every message received is a bit of a jumpscare, but at least this one turns out to be a welcome sight. ]
I'm alright too. Everything worked out in the end.
What about you? How are you doing?
[ Deeply concerning. Eren has never been without things to say, oftentimes too many. ]
You don't have to say anything if you don't want to... or can't. I'll still want you around regardless. You don't have to apologize.
If I can help just by being by your side and not making you talk, then I'll do that too.
You don't have to say anything if you don't want to... or can't. I'll still want you around regardless. You don't have to apologize.
If I can help just by being by your side and not making you talk, then I'll do that too.
Sky? Yes, you did.
[ Some variations on I'm still so sorry typed and deleted several times. Maruki is miserable with how much he means it, grief for Eren and Lehna and any others who died still twisted around his heart like those vines that ripped through his flesh. ]
You came over and told me. Do you remember that night...?
[ Some variations on I'm still so sorry typed and deleted several times. Maruki is miserable with how much he means it, grief for Eren and Lehna and any others who died still twisted around his heart like those vines that ripped through his flesh. ]
You came over and told me. Do you remember that night...?
[ And there it is!!!!
Okay, so it's going to be that kind of talk. Maruki stops fucking around in the garden in Vash's extended absence, sits down cross-legged in the grass to fully focus on this conversation. ]
What a tremendous act of love that must have been for her to do.
Many other things too, I'm sure, but... love sounds like it was no small part of it.
Okay, so it's going to be that kind of talk. Maruki stops fucking around in the garden in Vash's extended absence, sits down cross-legged in the grass to fully focus on this conversation. ]
What a tremendous act of love that must have been for her to do.
Many other things too, I'm sure, but... love sounds like it was no small part of it.
Edited 2024-06-24 09:45 (UTC)
[ Eren, when you are more lucid one day, reread this conversation and imagine Maruki trying to follow it. HE'S DOING HIS BEST. ]
Anything can happen. I think we all just spent a couple weeks learning that. Don't write your future off so completely.
Anything can happen. I think we all just spent a couple weeks learning that. Don't write your future off so completely.
[Tell him about it...
[No more talking about what Eren does and doesn't deserve. It's happening. It's hard. So is everything. Eren's never known rest. Never will.
[Oh, well.]
Things have settled now. I saw that your office is closed. Let me know when to start bringing meals again.
[No more talking about what Eren does and doesn't deserve. It's happening. It's hard. So is everything. Eren's never known rest. Never will.
[Oh, well.]
Things have settled now. I saw that your office is closed. Let me know when to start bringing meals again.
What else is there to do?
If I lie around all day, Captain Levi will just flip me out of bed himself. If nothing matters, then fine. I'll just keep doing what I always do. I have no choice.
[That's how it's always been. "Keep moving forward." What else was he supposed to think?]
I haven't forgotten the fight. But it's just like it's always been. We're stuck still again.
If I lie around all day, Captain Levi will just flip me out of bed himself. If nothing matters, then fine. I'll just keep doing what I always do. I have no choice.
[That's how it's always been. "Keep moving forward." What else was he supposed to think?]
I haven't forgotten the fight. But it's just like it's always been. We're stuck still again.
[ Hm.
Consider Venat's words. Extend honesty and vulnerability. Try to break through. ]
I understand.
I didn't close my office because of the repairs being done to the buildings. I closed it because I need to take a break. I haven't taken a break in
Years, I guess. A decade. Maybe longer.
At this moment, if I keep doing what I always do, I may bend far enough that I actually break, and then I'll be of no use to anyone. So- a forced rest.
Something to keep in mind, perhaps. You always have a choice, Eren.
Consider Venat's words. Extend honesty and vulnerability. Try to break through. ]
I understand.
I didn't close my office because of the repairs being done to the buildings. I closed it because I need to take a break. I haven't taken a break in
Years, I guess. A decade. Maybe longer.
At this moment, if I keep doing what I always do, I may bend far enough that I actually break, and then I'll be of no use to anyone. So- a forced rest.
Something to keep in mind, perhaps. You always have a choice, Eren.
[No...
[No, he's never had that choice.]
You should take a break if you can. You deserve that. [Genuine words, despite everything; it matters.]
I can't. [He stares at his phone. He begs for understanding.] I just can't.
Still, I won't bother you. Just tell me when you get hungry again.
[No, he's never had that choice.]
You should take a break if you can. You deserve that. [Genuine words, despite everything; it matters.]
I can't. [He stares at his phone. He begs for understanding.] I just can't.
Still, I won't bother you. Just tell me when you get hungry again.
[Would he like to see Maruki? Would he like to see anyone? In a "before it's too late" sense, sure; in a "the more you love them, the more it hurts" sense, not so much...]
I won't make you listen. Not if you're taking a break.
[He hasn't spoken to Akechi since...whatever that was. That castle probably isn't the best place for him, but some stubborn grudge tells him that's all the more reason to go. Why should he get to decide?]
I'll still be fucked a week from now, so don't worry.
If you'd like to see me, I'll come. Just tell me when.
I won't make you listen. Not if you're taking a break.
[He hasn't spoken to Akechi since...whatever that was. That castle probably isn't the best place for him, but some stubborn grudge tells him that's all the more reason to go. Why should he get to decide?]
I'll still be fucked a week from now, so don't worry.
If you'd like to see me, I'll come. Just tell me when.
You're my friend. I'm not taking a break from our friendship, just from having to be out in the populace for a bit. I'll always want to see you, no matter how messed up you are.
Accept it or don't, it will remain true regardless.
I'll see you in a couple days, how about that?
Accept it or don't, it will remain true regardless.
I'll see you in a couple days, how about that?
I will.
[There's a...pause. Yet again, Eren doesn't know what should and shouldn't be said - what would or wouldn't disturb the sanctuary that Maruki said he needed...
[But...
[He tries to choose his words carefully. There's no way Maruki could understand, but if Eren can just unscramble his mind enough to get the point across...]
Memories don't work the way people think they do. They don't just belong to one person. They're everywhere. Some are real. Some aren't. Some you can completely make up. Whole worlds of memories that touch other worlds of memories.
[No, he's really...not making much sense, is he...? Still...]
I won't forget you. If part of me does, another part will remember.
I'm an Eldian. By my very blood, my memory can be changed.
But it all comes back to the same place. I won't forget.
[There's a...pause. Yet again, Eren doesn't know what should and shouldn't be said - what would or wouldn't disturb the sanctuary that Maruki said he needed...
[But...
[He tries to choose his words carefully. There's no way Maruki could understand, but if Eren can just unscramble his mind enough to get the point across...]
Memories don't work the way people think they do. They don't just belong to one person. They're everywhere. Some are real. Some aren't. Some you can completely make up. Whole worlds of memories that touch other worlds of memories.
[No, he's really...not making much sense, is he...? Still...]
I won't forget you. If part of me does, another part will remember.
I'm an Eldian. By my very blood, my memory can be changed.
But it all comes back to the same place. I won't forget.
[ ............. huh. ]
I understand what you're saying more than you could ever possibly have guessed.
If something lives in the collective unconscious, or even just our shared subconsciouses, then it's never truly forgotten or lost.
You and I already shared two dreams. Those dreams will always exist, even if we don't. Our memories too, even after we're gone.
I won't forget you either.
I understand what you're saying more than you could ever possibly have guessed.
If something lives in the collective unconscious, or even just our shared subconsciouses, then it's never truly forgotten or lost.
You and I already shared two dreams. Those dreams will always exist, even if we don't. Our memories too, even after we're gone.
I won't forget you either.
The principles of and relationships between memory, time and perception are huge components of the field I specialized in.
My specific research topic was about something somewhat similar to what you just said - worlds made up of memories. A lot of it was theoretical, but I was so close to proving it before I was pulled into Somnius.
On top of that... The collective unconscious is sort of a personal interest of mine.
We're coming at this from two very different places of understanding. Yours is inherent to your lineage, mine is learned through years of study and research. But in the end, I believe we're understanding the same things.
Surprise! Not just a counselor after all.
I'd love to discuss it further sometime.
My specific research topic was about something somewhat similar to what you just said - worlds made up of memories. A lot of it was theoretical, but I was so close to proving it before I was pulled into Somnius.
On top of that... The collective unconscious is sort of a personal interest of mine.
We're coming at this from two very different places of understanding. Yours is inherent to your lineage, mine is learned through years of study and research. But in the end, I believe we're understanding the same things.
Surprise! Not just a counselor after all.
I'd love to discuss it further sometime.
[ ha ha nope! Just a cognitive psientist. ]
Thank you for saying so. I agree. One day I'll return to my reality and be able to prove it definitively. Until then, it helps to know someone understands.
Do you have experience with it too? Literal access to worlds like that.
Thank you for saying so. I agree. One day I'll return to my reality and be able to prove it definitively. Until then, it helps to know someone understands.
Do you have experience with it too? Literal access to worlds like that.
I do.
I couldn't really call it a place, but there's no other word for it. When I had all that power, I could go there. It was the place where all the souls of the Eldian race connected.
There's no time. It all happens at once.
When I went into the Labyrinth, and lived my future, I experienced that place. It felt like I was gone for lifetimes.
[And, well, when has Eren ever been withholding, when it comes to Maruki?]
I could make realities like that. I could do anything I wanted.
I couldn't really call it a place, but there's no other word for it. When I had all that power, I could go there. It was the place where all the souls of the Eldian race connected.
There's no time. It all happens at once.
When I went into the Labyrinth, and lived my future, I experienced that place. It felt like I was gone for lifetimes.
[And, well, when has Eren ever been withholding, when it comes to Maruki?]
I could make realities like that. I could do anything I wanted.
I had god like powers. I could do almost anything. Read Eldian minds, change the structure of their bodies, summon them to the place I'm talking about, erase their memories - anything.
I used it to say goodbye to my friends. To Jean and Mikasa.
[It almost doesn't slice through.
[Almost.
[There's a long pause. He almost doesn't say it; almost ends the conversation completely. Seeing her name on his screen makes him feel like he's going blind.
[Something in him needs Maruki to know...]
I made Mikasa a reality where we ran away together. The war never ended, but we lived the rest of my life in peace. I only had four years, but I gave that to her. I tried.
[...he tried.]
That's all I could give.
I used it to say goodbye to my friends. To Jean and Mikasa.
[It almost doesn't slice through.
[Almost.
[There's a long pause. He almost doesn't say it; almost ends the conversation completely. Seeing her name on his screen makes him feel like he's going blind.
[Something in him needs Maruki to know...]
I made Mikasa a reality where we ran away together. The war never ended, but we lived the rest of my life in peace. I only had four years, but I gave that to her. I tried.
[...he tried.]
That's all I could give.
[ Like a rush of blood to the head. Maruki reads up to erase their memories before setting the phone facedown on the castle kitchen island and walking right out the door.
The sunshine and fresh air are bracing after so many days of suspended dismal darkness.
He stands there, a few feet away from the still open front door, head tilted back, eyes closed, breathing. Counting his breaths. Waiting.
Waiting.
There is a trickle down the back of his neck, a bead of sweat from the high summer afternoon sun. Gossamer strands descending.
Eren has a metaphysical place that grants him the ability to peel back the layers of reality enough to warp whatever he would like to suit his wishes. So does Maruki.
Eren has not only a desire of creating realities devoid of suffering for the people he loves most, but a history of having done so. So does Maruki.
Eren has made horrific mistakes with this power, whether he realizes it or not. So has Maruki.
Grit teeth. Blunt nails digging into his palms. Eyes squeezed tighter and tighter until he sees those wavering aurora colors. A sensation at the back of his neck like an ice pick, a battering ram, driving up through the base of his skull until it's pierced straight through all his grey matter–
Breathe.
Rumi's eyes on his, warm and lifelike again but without a single drop of recognition despite the interwoven years of their lives. Yoshizawa begging in her grief to not have to be herself or she too would die, suddenly turning cheery and docile. The sky over Tokyo ripping apart at the seams, and Azathoth, and the collective unconscious at his fingertips–
And he's here. In Somnius. Not there. He blinks. When did he walk back into the castle? His hand is gripping the kitchen island.
Here, in Somnius. He doesn't have the access to the collective unconscious that he did before, can't sweep through and alter the entire city with a single thought. But he could still do it, individual by individual. Right now. He could walk out this door again, walk straight over to Eren's, and start with him.
Here, in Somnius. Be here.
Maruki breathes. The thick, golden, syrupy feeling in his mind slowly ekes away. Clear again. And painful. Utterly throbbing. He might be sick if it doesn't abate soon. He needs to lie down.
Phone in hand. Carry on. ]
That's fascinating. You really are full of surprises, Eren.
I think you showed her a great kindness by doing that. Would that we all had someone who loved us so much.
If I could ask you one question... Did Mikasa believe it was real, or was she aware it was false?
The sunshine and fresh air are bracing after so many days of suspended dismal darkness.
He stands there, a few feet away from the still open front door, head tilted back, eyes closed, breathing. Counting his breaths. Waiting.
Waiting.
There is a trickle down the back of his neck, a bead of sweat from the high summer afternoon sun. Gossamer strands descending.
Eren has a metaphysical place that grants him the ability to peel back the layers of reality enough to warp whatever he would like to suit his wishes. So does Maruki.
Eren has not only a desire of creating realities devoid of suffering for the people he loves most, but a history of having done so. So does Maruki.
Eren has made horrific mistakes with this power, whether he realizes it or not. So has Maruki.
Grit teeth. Blunt nails digging into his palms. Eyes squeezed tighter and tighter until he sees those wavering aurora colors. A sensation at the back of his neck like an ice pick, a battering ram, driving up through the base of his skull until it's pierced straight through all his grey matter–
Breathe.
Rumi's eyes on his, warm and lifelike again but without a single drop of recognition despite the interwoven years of their lives. Yoshizawa begging in her grief to not have to be herself or she too would die, suddenly turning cheery and docile. The sky over Tokyo ripping apart at the seams, and Azathoth, and the collective unconscious at his fingertips–
And he's here. In Somnius. Not there. He blinks. When did he walk back into the castle? His hand is gripping the kitchen island.
Here, in Somnius. He doesn't have the access to the collective unconscious that he did before, can't sweep through and alter the entire city with a single thought. But he could still do it, individual by individual. Right now. He could walk out this door again, walk straight over to Eren's, and start with him.
Here, in Somnius. Be here.
Maruki breathes. The thick, golden, syrupy feeling in his mind slowly ekes away. Clear again. And painful. Utterly throbbing. He might be sick if it doesn't abate soon. He needs to lie down.
Phone in hand. Carry on. ]
That's fascinating. You really are full of surprises, Eren.
I think you showed her a great kindness by doing that. Would that we all had someone who loved us so much.
If I could ask you one question... Did Mikasa believe it was real, or was she aware it was false?
[ It's a good thing he told Eren to come over in a couple days and not now. He needs some time away. Badly. Mental walls to fortify and all that. ]
That's complicated... This power must have felt like both a profound gift and a tremendous burden.
Thank you for telling me. You've given me a lot to think about.
That's complicated... This power must have felt like both a profound gift and a tremendous burden.
Thank you for telling me. You've given me a lot to think about.
Very sure. You're out of my league.
And dating not one, but two of my patients. Good grief...
Ah. That's a new term to me. I don't think that's necessarily the case here, on either of our sides... I would be shocked if something like that crossed her mind at all.
And dating not one, but two of my patients. Good grief...
Ah. That's a new term to me. I don't think that's necessarily the case here, on either of our sides... I would be shocked if something like that crossed her mind at all.
[ Wait, Adam really didn't get her name from anywhere once he had her username at his fingertips? Maybe Maruki really is too much of a cyberstalker... or maybe Adam's not enough of one. ]
Ah, I ruined part of the mystery, didn't I.
It's not nerves, surprisingly. She doesn't make me nervous, which is more than I can say for all other women. It's just a delicate situation.
Ah, I ruined part of the mystery, didn't I.
It's not nerves, surprisingly. She doesn't make me nervous, which is more than I can say for all other women. It's just a delicate situation.
Edited 2024-06-25 07:09 (UTC)
Do we? I don't think that we do. As I said, it's not an issue with Venat.
[ ............ mostly. She hasn't purposefully flustered him in a while, outside of a compliment here or there after their battle. But if she starts publicly flirting with him on Sleepr to rile him up again and Adam sees, well. God help them. ]
[ ............ mostly. She hasn't purposefully flustered him in a while, outside of a compliment here or there after their battle. But if she starts publicly flirting with him on Sleepr to rile him up again and Adam sees, well. God help them. ]
With Lehna-san, I can simply help you search. If it would help to not be alone, I would gladly be with you. You've been through a lot.
As for Night Sky... As I said, she should be seeking me out sooner rather than later. I can let you know that she's safe and tell her that you'd like to see her.
As for Night Sky... As I said, she should be seeking me out sooner rather than later. I can let you know that she's safe and tell her that you'd like to see her.
[ WHOOPS THE GUARD DROPPED TOO MUCH AND YOU SAID SHIT WITHOUT THINKING TAKUTO BUTTON IT UP ]
I assume she will due the knowledge that I had about her connection to the Green Knight. I'm sure even though he was killed, that connection isn't fully severed, and she'll want to talk to someone who understands... But maybe I'm wrong.
I assume she will due the knowledge that I had about her connection to the Green Knight. I'm sure even though he was killed, that connection isn't fully severed, and she'll want to talk to someone who understands... But maybe I'm wrong.
You're right, no one should. It's a uniquely cruel and unfair situation she's been put in.
My hope is that no one holds it against her. I don't think that they will, but... If you hear anyone being a jerk about it, please let me know. I'd like an excuse to have that argument.
My hope is that no one holds it against her. I don't think that they will, but... If you hear anyone being a jerk about it, please let me know. I'd like an excuse to have that argument.
Hah. Yeah, imagine if we'd gone up against the Green Knight together.
[ imagine.oh my fucking god what if they went in the labyrinth together ]
A bar fight with the people in Somnius could very well turn into a supernatural thing quickly...
That said, I have a feeling it will happen at Dolph-kun's club sooner or later.
[ imagine.
A bar fight with the people in Somnius could very well turn into a supernatural thing quickly...
That said, I have a feeling it will happen at Dolph-kun's club sooner or later.
[It's not lost on him how new routines settle easily in Somnius - the bathhouse ritual occupies the same mental space the train schedule, the jazz singer's weekly routine, Sae's meetings. It's natural. Consistent. Maruki doesn't need reminders and joins him again when the world returns to a relative state of calm.
Sometimes it's quiet, other times it's not. Today erring towards the former by how their murmurs turn to silence the longer they sit in their usual spots. Close, but not.
Today -
Is a little different. Akechi sinks to almost eye level in the water, billows of his own hair moving forward and in the water's steamy haze, his own mirrored reflection shifts into a fuzzy image of-
No one. Not her, him, or anyone. It's only a distortion in the water - a vision he chose not to remember, so he didn't. A regret that's stupid when his heart was set years ago. Why he tried, or what he expected from it-
Who knows. It's impossible to recreate now and heaves himself back up - normal and proper to their typical arrangement.
A comfortable silence follows that splash of movement. One Akechi intends to let linger until they leave at the same normal time they always do, except-]
How many people have you saved in your profession?
Sometimes it's quiet, other times it's not. Today erring towards the former by how their murmurs turn to silence the longer they sit in their usual spots. Close, but not.
Today -
Is a little different. Akechi sinks to almost eye level in the water, billows of his own hair moving forward and in the water's steamy haze, his own mirrored reflection shifts into a fuzzy image of-
No one. Not her, him, or anyone. It's only a distortion in the water - a vision he chose not to remember, so he didn't. A regret that's stupid when his heart was set years ago. Why he tried, or what he expected from it-
Who knows. It's impossible to recreate now and heaves himself back up - normal and proper to their typical arrangement.
A comfortable silence follows that splash of movement. One Akechi intends to let linger until they leave at the same normal time they always do, except-]
How many people have you saved in your profession?
[ Thank god the bathhouse was spared from the damage wrought to the town. After everything, if they hadn't had this routine to fall back into, Maruki would have been more perturbed than he'd ever let on.
It's a comfort in a way that little else is, even compared to other daily routines both independent and shared. In the water, steam fogging his glasses and permanently tensed muscles going pleasantly relaxed, between quiet half-conversations, it's almost easy to imagine being back in Tokyo.
Almost.
Maruki looks over at him, smiles curiously. ]
Saved? That's a pretty tall order...
[ He leans his head back against the cool stone wall, considers it. ]
I don't think that my profession alone can be credited with saving anyone. All I do is let people talk through their troubles and try to give them the tools to work on solutions.
[ Yoshizawa's grief-stricken expression smoothing out into one of pure contentment with her new lease on life. ]
If someone is "saved" [ and both hands do lift out of the water then to make air quotes before sinking back in ] then it's because they were given the opportunity to save themselves.
It's a comfort in a way that little else is, even compared to other daily routines both independent and shared. In the water, steam fogging his glasses and permanently tensed muscles going pleasantly relaxed, between quiet half-conversations, it's almost easy to imagine being back in Tokyo.
Almost.
Maruki looks over at him, smiles curiously. ]
Saved? That's a pretty tall order...
[ He leans his head back against the cool stone wall, considers it. ]
I don't think that my profession alone can be credited with saving anyone. All I do is let people talk through their troubles and try to give them the tools to work on solutions.
[ Yoshizawa's grief-stricken expression smoothing out into one of pure contentment with her new lease on life. ]
If someone is "saved" [ and both hands do lift out of the water then to make air quotes before sinking back in ] then it's because they were given the opportunity to save themselves.
I see. [Pause.] That question was a difficult one - it's not as if you can track the lives of those you give voice to or find out if they ended up worse down the line. In fact, if they died, it could be months, years or even decades before you're aware of it. If ever.
[His mother wouldn't have benefited - her trust as broken in the world as his own was, or so he thinks. As an adult, he can recall the way people spoke to her - him, by extension. Treated like the living embodiment of a plague in those small town stores, in private conversations on the sidewalk.
A conversation wouldn't have saved her, no matter what Maruki's success rate was.
His fingers wiggle under the water to make tiny ripples. No image appears. He doesn't care.]
When you think about the supposed social nature of human beings, the fact your profession is needed is quite odd, don't you think? But I suppose that's explained with the 'tools' portion of your answer. Listening is quite simple. Providing helpful advice that doesn't sound insincere or hypocritical, that someone will follow, is another.
[Still and immobile, his back stays pressed against the wall of the bath - hot and cold against different parts of his spine.]
Of course, there are those who can't be saved no matter what. They live and die in small homes, forgotten by society, without a single person who cared for them. No one to remember them. No grave to even step on while someone's on their way to another.
[Another pause. It feels like he isn't the one speaking anymore.]
I find it interesting is all. It's almost as if fate decides who survives and who dies from the thoughts in their own mind.
[His mother wouldn't have benefited - her trust as broken in the world as his own was, or so he thinks. As an adult, he can recall the way people spoke to her - him, by extension. Treated like the living embodiment of a plague in those small town stores, in private conversations on the sidewalk.
A conversation wouldn't have saved her, no matter what Maruki's success rate was.
His fingers wiggle under the water to make tiny ripples. No image appears. He doesn't care.]
When you think about the supposed social nature of human beings, the fact your profession is needed is quite odd, don't you think? But I suppose that's explained with the 'tools' portion of your answer. Listening is quite simple. Providing helpful advice that doesn't sound insincere or hypocritical, that someone will follow, is another.
[Still and immobile, his back stays pressed against the wall of the bath - hot and cold against different parts of his spine.]
Of course, there are those who can't be saved no matter what. They live and die in small homes, forgotten by society, without a single person who cared for them. No one to remember them. No grave to even step on while someone's on their way to another.
[Another pause. It feels like he isn't the one speaking anymore.]
I find it interesting is all. It's almost as if fate decides who survives and who dies from the thoughts in their own mind.
[ He and Akechi have had innumerable conversations over the past months. About all manner of topics – philosophy, cognitive psience, their fellow dreamers, the manipulations of this reality, their shared abilities, nostalgia for home, crossword clues, analysis and pure gossip alike, on and on. Both of them can ramble when given the opportunity, and both of them are good at shutting up, listening, saying only what most needs to be said.
This is somehow different from all that came before. He's heard Akechi speak at length before, but never quite like this. Unprompted, as well, and not as if he's holding control of the conversation in both hands, knuckles white beneath his ever-present gloves.
Maruki takes it all in with rapt attention and a heavy heart. He lets a silence follow those final thoughts on fate and death, then sinks slightly lower into the water and speaks carefully, thoughtfully. ]
You can imagine how fiercely I believe in the power of counseling, or more regimented therapy – but I do recognize the limitations of the profession.
[ As much as he hates it, he does recognize it. ]
I could spend years listening and providing the best advice possible to someone truly in need of it, but all of the help in the world wouldn't take effect if the person in question didn't put in the effort to help themselves. On the one hand, it could be assumed that perhaps they genuinely don't want to. Maybe they're so deep in whatever hole they're in that they don't want a way out anymore.
[ A shake of his head, a little sigh. ]
But I would call that assumption uncharitable. In most cases, when someone won't help themselves, it's because of exactly what you said – they are in a position that doesn't allow them to do so. Maybe they're so focused on their own basic survival needs that there's no energy left over to deal with their emotional wounds. Maybe they're isolated from others, without a support system to help in ways that a counselor can't. Maybe life simply keeps knocking them down, again and again, and the system isn't built to make it easy for them to claw their way back up.
[ His eyes are closed behind his glasses, half-obscured by steam. ]
So in the end, to your point, it's a societal issue more than an individual one. One counselor or a hundred cannot undo the damage done by a society that doesn't value its most vulnerable and allows them to slip through the cracks.
[ A beat. ]
I hate it, Akechi. I really do.
This is somehow different from all that came before. He's heard Akechi speak at length before, but never quite like this. Unprompted, as well, and not as if he's holding control of the conversation in both hands, knuckles white beneath his ever-present gloves.
Maruki takes it all in with rapt attention and a heavy heart. He lets a silence follow those final thoughts on fate and death, then sinks slightly lower into the water and speaks carefully, thoughtfully. ]
You can imagine how fiercely I believe in the power of counseling, or more regimented therapy – but I do recognize the limitations of the profession.
[ As much as he hates it, he does recognize it. ]
I could spend years listening and providing the best advice possible to someone truly in need of it, but all of the help in the world wouldn't take effect if the person in question didn't put in the effort to help themselves. On the one hand, it could be assumed that perhaps they genuinely don't want to. Maybe they're so deep in whatever hole they're in that they don't want a way out anymore.
[ A shake of his head, a little sigh. ]
But I would call that assumption uncharitable. In most cases, when someone won't help themselves, it's because of exactly what you said – they are in a position that doesn't allow them to do so. Maybe they're so focused on their own basic survival needs that there's no energy left over to deal with their emotional wounds. Maybe they're isolated from others, without a support system to help in ways that a counselor can't. Maybe life simply keeps knocking them down, again and again, and the system isn't built to make it easy for them to claw their way back up.
[ His eyes are closed behind his glasses, half-obscured by steam. ]
So in the end, to your point, it's a societal issue more than an individual one. One counselor or a hundred cannot undo the damage done by a society that doesn't value its most vulnerable and allows them to slip through the cracks.
[ A beat. ]
I hate it, Akechi. I really do.
Edited 2024-06-24 23:01 (UTC)
[Akechi's first impressions of Maruki had been shallow and intentional. There was no need to learn about him - his motivations, thoughts, or feelings. It was irrelevant, outside of the age old habit of giving into niceties. Their shared world a mutual nostalgia. His cognitive background a curiosity and source of intense paranoia. Intelligence was always a given with him - it was apparent in the way he spoke, thought, his critical measure of the world and a keen eye that saw more than he ever stated out loud.
Altruism his biggest flaw. An annoying one and he wrote the man off as a weak hearted fool.
The days - months - spent afterwards taught him otherwise. An original impression ripped to shreds once the mask started to waver - when a blade split tendons of a beast, snarky comebacks became regular and the brutality of Maruki's lies became apparent.
It's why he's quiet now. Listens to every single word, as if it's genuine. It's the closest he's come to thinkin I hate it, Akechi. I really do. is the truth and not an empty platitude meant to move on from the conversation. The multitude of reasons he offers recreating a faded image that never takes shape.
He doesn't move. Doesn't blink. For a second, he sees her. The second after, she's gone.]
That was my mother in the lake. I'm sure you easily made that assumption, but I wanted to confirm it for you. You told me who the woman was in your memory, after all.
[It's hot. He's already dizzy, but it doesn't matter because the world can't spin in stilled water.]
A day later, she couldn't bear to deal with the world anymore and she choose a noose over a society that shunned her. Even if someone had been around to temper her pain, I doubt anything would have cured it for long. Her problem was a persistent one and not going away anytime soon. Combined with that, she was a sex worker and to my knowledge, didn't plan to leave the profession. Many things were stacked against her.
[A child pulling on her skirt, clutching her hand, crawling into her bed, begging and talking and never giving her a second to be more than a bastard child's forgotten mother and-
Giving people a reason to hate her beyond her work. The combination of the two forming a scarlet letter with Akechi's birth.]
I'm not saying this for pity, an apology or a counseling session. That's not my intent. I've long since moved on and I was too young to recognize what I saw that day.
[Body glued to wall, muscles tense in steaming hot water, he forces his gaze up to the ceiling.
The structure in the bathhouse would've held her weight better. The crumpled, blue tinted leg distended against a tipped chair and-]
It only felt right to share, since I intruded on a rather disturbing memory of yours. Now we're even.
Altruism his biggest flaw. An annoying one and he wrote the man off as a weak hearted fool.
The days - months - spent afterwards taught him otherwise. An original impression ripped to shreds once the mask started to waver - when a blade split tendons of a beast, snarky comebacks became regular and the brutality of Maruki's lies became apparent.
It's why he's quiet now. Listens to every single word, as if it's genuine. It's the closest he's come to thinkin I hate it, Akechi. I really do. is the truth and not an empty platitude meant to move on from the conversation. The multitude of reasons he offers recreating a faded image that never takes shape.
He doesn't move. Doesn't blink. For a second, he sees her. The second after, she's gone.]
That was my mother in the lake. I'm sure you easily made that assumption, but I wanted to confirm it for you. You told me who the woman was in your memory, after all.
[It's hot. He's already dizzy, but it doesn't matter because the world can't spin in stilled water.]
A day later, she couldn't bear to deal with the world anymore and she choose a noose over a society that shunned her. Even if someone had been around to temper her pain, I doubt anything would have cured it for long. Her problem was a persistent one and not going away anytime soon. Combined with that, she was a sex worker and to my knowledge, didn't plan to leave the profession. Many things were stacked against her.
[A child pulling on her skirt, clutching her hand, crawling into her bed, begging and talking and never giving her a second to be more than a bastard child's forgotten mother and-
Giving people a reason to hate her beyond her work. The combination of the two forming a scarlet letter with Akechi's birth.]
I'm not saying this for pity, an apology or a counseling session. That's not my intent. I've long since moved on and I was too young to recognize what I saw that day.
[Body glued to wall, muscles tense in steaming hot water, he forces his gaze up to the ceiling.
The structure in the bathhouse would've held her weight better. The crumpled, blue tinted leg distended against a tipped chair and-]
It only felt right to share, since I intruded on a rather disturbing memory of yours. Now we're even.
[ The world, or at least this small pocket of it, stills.
The bathhouse is so quiet. It's one of his favorite things about it. The gelfling and goblin inhabitants of Somnius don't work here or visit here; none of the other dreamers seem too interested in it. It's somehow cleanly maintained, yet almost always empty. Silent. Lapping hot water, their own voices, stillness.
It's all he can hear: Akechi's voice and his own heartbeat alongside it, aching with every word.
No pity, no apology, no counseling. With anyone else, it would be an impossibly huge ask. With Akechi– ]
From what little I saw in that lake, it looked as if she did the best that she could for you, despite the cruel and unfair circumstances of our society and how much pain she was in.
[ They hadn't seemed happy, exactly – the strain of their life was present even in the rippling recollection – but the love was there. He could see it plain as day. For what little time Akechi had with her, he would have been loved. That's not nothing.
Maruki observes him for a moment, weighs what he's heard against what he's been told before, and then again against the suspicions he's had since Akechi began to reveal parts of himself outside of his celebrity image.
A day later.
I was too young to recognize what I saw that day.
The prime of his life – he's stuck to that theory on their memories ever since Lioriley revealed to him the function of the Spring back in their reality. The day before discovering his own mother's suicide. How everything in his life must have been colored by that, even if he was too young to understand it– and having seen him, Maruki doesn't think that he was.
A clear delineation between a life before and a life after, wherein nothing will ever be the same or even close. Maruki understands that well. Akechi experiencing that at such a formative age–
Sometimes, there are bits of him around the edges that don't get taped up quite so quickly, or quite so wholly. Maruki would never draw attention to them – not only as a liar recognizing another liar at work, but as a friend. However, he's always wondered. Now they start to make sense.
As do so many other things. ]
You don't have to answer this. I don't take lightly the trust that you've put in me to tell me what you have so far, and if that's where it ends, I won't speak of it again.
[ His voice is quiet. Not in the soft, gentle tones of a counselor, or even a sympathetic friendly ear outside of that. Not cloying in the way that he sometimes uses to pry for information. Not overly grave, as if whatever he hears next will shake his bleeding heart even harder.
Simply quiet. Kind but serious. Unwavering. ]
Where did you go to live after that?
[ A father is clearly not in the picture. Grandparents might be the next logical conclusion, but it doesn't sound as if they had any outside familial support at their disposal. An aunt, an uncle, a well meaning family friend – out of the question for someone in her profession.
He knows how their society works. He can guess the answer. But if Akechi will allow it, he wants to hear it confirmed. ]
The bathhouse is so quiet. It's one of his favorite things about it. The gelfling and goblin inhabitants of Somnius don't work here or visit here; none of the other dreamers seem too interested in it. It's somehow cleanly maintained, yet almost always empty. Silent. Lapping hot water, their own voices, stillness.
It's all he can hear: Akechi's voice and his own heartbeat alongside it, aching with every word.
No pity, no apology, no counseling. With anyone else, it would be an impossibly huge ask. With Akechi– ]
From what little I saw in that lake, it looked as if she did the best that she could for you, despite the cruel and unfair circumstances of our society and how much pain she was in.
[ They hadn't seemed happy, exactly – the strain of their life was present even in the rippling recollection – but the love was there. He could see it plain as day. For what little time Akechi had with her, he would have been loved. That's not nothing.
Maruki observes him for a moment, weighs what he's heard against what he's been told before, and then again against the suspicions he's had since Akechi began to reveal parts of himself outside of his celebrity image.
A day later.
I was too young to recognize what I saw that day.
The prime of his life – he's stuck to that theory on their memories ever since Lioriley revealed to him the function of the Spring back in their reality. The day before discovering his own mother's suicide. How everything in his life must have been colored by that, even if he was too young to understand it– and having seen him, Maruki doesn't think that he was.
A clear delineation between a life before and a life after, wherein nothing will ever be the same or even close. Maruki understands that well. Akechi experiencing that at such a formative age–
Sometimes, there are bits of him around the edges that don't get taped up quite so quickly, or quite so wholly. Maruki would never draw attention to them – not only as a liar recognizing another liar at work, but as a friend. However, he's always wondered. Now they start to make sense.
As do so many other things. ]
You don't have to answer this. I don't take lightly the trust that you've put in me to tell me what you have so far, and if that's where it ends, I won't speak of it again.
[ His voice is quiet. Not in the soft, gentle tones of a counselor, or even a sympathetic friendly ear outside of that. Not cloying in the way that he sometimes uses to pry for information. Not overly grave, as if whatever he hears next will shake his bleeding heart even harder.
Simply quiet. Kind but serious. Unwavering. ]
Where did you go to live after that?
[ A father is clearly not in the picture. Grandparents might be the next logical conclusion, but it doesn't sound as if they had any outside familial support at their disposal. An aunt, an uncle, a well meaning family friend – out of the question for someone in her profession.
He knows how their society works. He can guess the answer. But if Akechi will allow it, he wants to hear it confirmed. ]
[He expects one of two statements to follow - both of which will confirm that Maruki is like every other person who hears a story they want to get away from.
A delusion with 'I'm sure she loved you' as if it mattered when a maternal bond was ripped apart by the same crushing, brutal world trying to offer condolences. Like what she felt was a priority, when he became a parasite for that adoration and sucked every bit of life from her.
A lie with some variation of 'She's in a better place' said by those who made this world hell for the same woman they were wishing a better life for. Uttered by those who ignored an unmarked grave, an empty shrine, no incense, no fanfare.
Maruki doesn't say either. Doesn't imply it. Doesn't dance around it and states she did the best she could and-
She did the best she could and-
She did the best she could.
[Repeated - soft and cautious. No tension or ire. Tone neutral, but not forced. She did the best she could do is the truth. She did the best she could are words that make him recognize the small amount of trust wasn't misplaced. It isn't the sobering, humble silence of a dead friend, but-
He didn't want it to be. Doesn't want it to be. Maruki isn't Joker. Maruki is something else entirely and it's why Akechi-
Hates him and why he-
Continues on. Head dropping back down from the sturdy rafters, shifting his body to move into the water. Not out of discomfort - simply to stretch. The dizzying water a blanket for a conversation he cares little about. I won't speak of it again a given regardless after the leaving this quiet, calming piece of home.
A small smile stretches across his face - fake, and not, with a hand raising up from the water to gesture to nothing and nowhere.]
Oh, I was passed around foster homes after that. I don't recall how many - none ever stuck for long, so it's somewhat irrelevant, especially since my emancipation occurred while I was 14 or 15, I believe.
[A pause and he lowers his hand.]
That may sound odd, since it's so uncommon, but it was through good luck and fortune. Sometimes I wonder if my father had a hand behind the scenes - wouldn't that be funny? To have been saved from a life in a group home by a lowlife who wanted nothing to do us while she was alive.
[A small chuckle - real. Quiet. As if the situation would be hilarious. As if it wasn't the truth. As if Shido didn't pluck him out of that shitty hole the second Akechi proved his value.]
Of course, I'm kidding. Life isn't a movie and I do quite well for myself, as you know from the media. There isn't much I could ask for these days.
A delusion with 'I'm sure she loved you' as if it mattered when a maternal bond was ripped apart by the same crushing, brutal world trying to offer condolences. Like what she felt was a priority, when he became a parasite for that adoration and sucked every bit of life from her.
A lie with some variation of 'She's in a better place' said by those who made this world hell for the same woman they were wishing a better life for. Uttered by those who ignored an unmarked grave, an empty shrine, no incense, no fanfare.
Maruki doesn't say either. Doesn't imply it. Doesn't dance around it and states she did the best she could and-
She did the best she could and-
It was the best she could do and-]
She did the best she could.
[Repeated - soft and cautious. No tension or ire. Tone neutral, but not forced. She did the best she could do is the truth. She did the best she could are words that make him recognize the small amount of trust wasn't misplaced. It isn't the sobering, humble silence of a dead friend, but-
He didn't want it to be. Doesn't want it to be. Maruki isn't Joker. Maruki is something else entirely and it's why Akechi-
Hates him and why he-
Continues on. Head dropping back down from the sturdy rafters, shifting his body to move into the water. Not out of discomfort - simply to stretch. The dizzying water a blanket for a conversation he cares little about. I won't speak of it again a given regardless after the leaving this quiet, calming piece of home.
A small smile stretches across his face - fake, and not, with a hand raising up from the water to gesture to nothing and nowhere.]
Oh, I was passed around foster homes after that. I don't recall how many - none ever stuck for long, so it's somewhat irrelevant, especially since my emancipation occurred while I was 14 or 15, I believe.
[A pause and he lowers his hand.]
That may sound odd, since it's so uncommon, but it was through good luck and fortune. Sometimes I wonder if my father had a hand behind the scenes - wouldn't that be funny? To have been saved from a life in a group home by a lowlife who wanted nothing to do us while she was alive.
[A small chuckle - real. Quiet. As if the situation would be hilarious. As if it wasn't the truth. As if Shido didn't pluck him out of that shitty hole the second Akechi proved his value.]
Of course, I'm kidding. Life isn't a movie and I do quite well for myself, as you know from the media. There isn't much I could ask for these days.
[ Yeah, Maruki could have guessed. And he knows enough to be able to fill in some blanks that Akechi glosses over with practiced ease. That much uprooting, that little attachment to stable adult figures, that level of uncertainty about something as basic as the security of a roof over your head and food on your plate– all have effects on a growing mind, and are hardly ever irrelevant.
Emancipation that young–
Makes sense, with regards to what he knows of Akechi's more recent home life, with the observations he's made about a loneliness he recognizes well in himself.
Makes no sense at all, with regards to everything he knows about the bureaucracy of their reality.
I do quite well for myself, as you know from the media – as if Maruki hasn't told him, recently at that, that he is more than that image. There is life outside of celebrity. What has he learned about that life? Akechi has been alone for three or four years, after an incredibly unstable childhood wrought by a traumatic event. He has never mentioned friends. He has never mentioned anyone. There is an image of doing well, and there is what lies under the surface. Maruki isn't a celebrity, not by a long shot, but he is someone who has to project the sense of having it together. He understands. He wishes he didn't – not for his sake, for Akechi's.
But none of it is anything he'll put pressure on or question. He's just grateful that Akechi felt comfortable enough to tell him anything, even if it's a sanitized version of the truth.
Maruki listens to him, watches him. Doesn't have any platitudes on the tip of his tongue as he normally would. Doesn't have anything except one simple statement: ]
I'm glad you're here, Akechi.
[ Here, in Somnius. Here, in the world at all, not a given by any means after a young life like that.
He doesn't let it linger. It isn't meant to start a sentimental, emotional conversation. It's just a fact. Akechi is here, and he's glad for it.
Maruki sits up enough to stretch his arms along the back of the tub, steam wafting off his skin. He rolls his neck to one side in a stretch, then the other. Laughs, just a huff of a breath, and a humorless one at that. ]
Anger against an unjust world, huh.
[ Nothing more to it than that. If their conversation about why their personas manifested wasn't as significant to Akechi as it was to him, then it can drop easily and they can move onto other topics. ]
Emancipation that young–
Makes sense, with regards to what he knows of Akechi's more recent home life, with the observations he's made about a loneliness he recognizes well in himself.
Makes no sense at all, with regards to everything he knows about the bureaucracy of their reality.
I do quite well for myself, as you know from the media – as if Maruki hasn't told him, recently at that, that he is more than that image. There is life outside of celebrity. What has he learned about that life? Akechi has been alone for three or four years, after an incredibly unstable childhood wrought by a traumatic event. He has never mentioned friends. He has never mentioned anyone. There is an image of doing well, and there is what lies under the surface. Maruki isn't a celebrity, not by a long shot, but he is someone who has to project the sense of having it together. He understands. He wishes he didn't – not for his sake, for Akechi's.
But none of it is anything he'll put pressure on or question. He's just grateful that Akechi felt comfortable enough to tell him anything, even if it's a sanitized version of the truth.
Maruki listens to him, watches him. Doesn't have any platitudes on the tip of his tongue as he normally would. Doesn't have anything except one simple statement: ]
I'm glad you're here, Akechi.
[ Here, in Somnius. Here, in the world at all, not a given by any means after a young life like that.
He doesn't let it linger. It isn't meant to start a sentimental, emotional conversation. It's just a fact. Akechi is here, and he's glad for it.
Maruki sits up enough to stretch his arms along the back of the tub, steam wafting off his skin. He rolls his neck to one side in a stretch, then the other. Laughs, just a huff of a breath, and a humorless one at that. ]
Anger against an unjust world, huh.
[ Nothing more to it than that. If their conversation about why their personas manifested wasn't as significant to Akechi as it was to him, then it can drop easily and they can move onto other topics. ]
[I'm glad you're here, Akechi under the dazzling fluorescent lights, indistinct faces fixing his hair, checking his face, straightening clothes - guiding him to perfection, so the world could see him. I'm glad you're here, x practiced to the next nameless nobody meant to recite lines that aren't their own, over and over again and-
A number he can't recollect with any degree of confidence because I'm glad you're here, Akechi lasted until the first stripped stipend came in the mail, the first request for school, the first request for a meal, the first request for anything that deviated from the subservient silence he was meant to stew in because hearing 'I'm glad you're here, Akechi' was temporary placation.
Maruki says I'm glad you're here, Akechi and his eyes don't move away from his eyes, his glasses, any microscopic clue from a liar that shows I'm glad you're here, Akechi wasn't real. I'm glad you're here, Akechi stated without a state check in hand, a list to collect debts, a perfect script to recite from.
His eyes burn. Maruki's face twists into some dizzying amalgamation of colors and thin, bright lines. His arms move. Akechi follows it. He doesn't blink. Maruki laughs. Akechi doesn't catch what he says. I'm happy you're here, Akechi a noose tightening around his neck over and over and over until his body feels like a bruised, blued corpse hanging from the rafters.
Maruki doesn't need him - Akechi effectively acting in the same parasitic way that killed his mother. Wanting attention, food, time, shared baths, walks and-
It's not the same, because Akechi doesn't want any of it. Doesn't need it. He's grown up and exploitation is to choose being a parasite. Maruki's stupid to provide. Exploitation is fine when the man follows suit with every unspoken and spoken request. It's mutual and-
Maruki doesn't need him for personas, either. A power brewing under a staunchly held together mask - wired and sewn down to his face. Akechi sees Maruki's hand move and imagines it ripping at the seams of his own flesh, pulling it apart with ease.
For a second, he sees it - blood dripping down the man's forehead, dropping into the crystalline water and-
He blinks. It's better. His brain catches up and he leans back into the water until is shoulders are consumed, his eyelashes are coated with steam.]
You remember? I suppose I'm not surprised. You might think it's related to what I said, but I imagine it relates closer to my detective work. I've seen a fair share of injustice.
[A beat, and-]
Mindless attacks on victims. Murders for no reason. There's injustice far beyond the walls housing forgotten children and my justice involves seeing it come to light.
I'm glad you're here, Akechi between whispers of smoke in a tobacco coated room, frantic, hurried newscast playing in the background - 'another psychotic break - several wounded, several dead in-' twisting into static that makes him wonder about the future prime minister's internet connection. A noise only he can hear and I'm glad you're here, x stated to the next person who walked into the room with debts to be repaid and 'I'm glad you're here, Akechi' from another formless face because Akechi is valuable and I'm glad you're here, Akechi synonymous with the state of his value and names buzzing to life in his phone to showcase his value to hear I'm glad you're here, Akechi from a man who's throat he wants to crush under his heel so all the red tinted spittle from choking out I'm glad you're here, Akechi is all his vision sees and-
I'm glad you're here Akechi to the one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten-A number he can't recollect with any degree of confidence because I'm glad you're here, Akechi lasted until the first stripped stipend came in the mail, the first request for school, the first request for a meal, the first request for anything that deviated from the subservient silence he was meant to stew in because hearing 'I'm glad you're here, Akechi' was temporary placation.
Maruki says I'm glad you're here, Akechi and his eyes don't move away from his eyes, his glasses, any microscopic clue from a liar that shows I'm glad you're here, Akechi wasn't real. I'm glad you're here, Akechi stated without a state check in hand, a list to collect debts, a perfect script to recite from.
His eyes burn. Maruki's face twists into some dizzying amalgamation of colors and thin, bright lines. His arms move. Akechi follows it. He doesn't blink. Maruki laughs. Akechi doesn't catch what he says. I'm happy you're here, Akechi a noose tightening around his neck over and over and over until his body feels like a bruised, blued corpse hanging from the rafters.
Maruki doesn't need him - Akechi effectively acting in the same parasitic way that killed his mother. Wanting attention, food, time, shared baths, walks and-
It's not the same, because Akechi doesn't want any of it. Doesn't need it. He's grown up and exploitation is to choose being a parasite. Maruki's stupid to provide. Exploitation is fine when the man follows suit with every unspoken and spoken request. It's mutual and-
Maruki doesn't need him for personas, either. A power brewing under a staunchly held together mask - wired and sewn down to his face. Akechi sees Maruki's hand move and imagines it ripping at the seams of his own flesh, pulling it apart with ease.
For a second, he sees it - blood dripping down the man's forehead, dropping into the crystalline water and-
He blinks. It's better. His brain catches up and he leans back into the water until is shoulders are consumed, his eyelashes are coated with steam.]
You remember? I suppose I'm not surprised. You might think it's related to what I said, but I imagine it relates closer to my detective work. I've seen a fair share of injustice.
[A beat, and-]
Mindless attacks on victims. Murders for no reason. There's injustice far beyond the walls housing forgotten children and my justice involves seeing it come to light.
[ He doesn't buy that for a second, but he lets it slide. The intent in Akechi's statements is clear. He's not prodding at the inflamed edges of his own anger.
His aim is true, and steady, and directly at Maruki. Just like every hateful word and explosive attack levied against him in the forest. Just like his gun.
Maruki looks at him. Just looks. Mild, evaluating. His glasses have mostly cleared, now that he's not sunken so far down into the water.
A breath drawn. Held for a moment, a brief hesitation where every anxious impulse in his mind rebels, asks him if he's really about to do this. Fight or flight. It's not too late to drop this conversation. To shut it down. To give a half-truth or less. To not say anything at all. To feign dizziness from the heat. To tell Akechi they'll talk about it later, some day. Anything. Do anything. Run. ]
It's a long story. I'll understand if you don't want to be subjected to that right now, or simply don't care about the details of my life. If you'd like a condensed version, or to not hear it at all, tell me and I won't be offended.
[ An exhale, sharp along with his words, and then he's breathing normally again. ]
But if not... I'd like to tell you what happened.
His aim is true, and steady, and directly at Maruki. Just like every hateful word and explosive attack levied against him in the forest. Just like his gun.
Maruki looks at him. Just looks. Mild, evaluating. His glasses have mostly cleared, now that he's not sunken so far down into the water.
A breath drawn. Held for a moment, a brief hesitation where every anxious impulse in his mind rebels, asks him if he's really about to do this. Fight or flight. It's not too late to drop this conversation. To shut it down. To give a half-truth or less. To not say anything at all. To feign dizziness from the heat. To tell Akechi they'll talk about it later, some day. Anything. Do anything. Run. ]
It's a long story. I'll understand if you don't want to be subjected to that right now, or simply don't care about the details of my life. If you'd like a condensed version, or to not hear it at all, tell me and I won't be offended.
[ An exhale, sharp along with his words, and then he's breathing normally again. ]
But if not... I'd like to tell you what happened.
Edited (WORDS) 2024-06-25 04:19 (UTC)
[It hits, direct and brutal. Revenge against I'm glad you're here, Akechi a bullet piercing through skull, ripping a memory from the other side.
He waits - steady and resolute in the water, opting to shift his gaze, focus on Maruki out of the corner of his eye, instead of the direct piercing contact that distorted reality. There's no blood in the water, but-
Every word will be coated with it if Maruki speaks and-
He speaks now in attempts to escape with appeals to Akechi's apathy. A sensation that doesn't exist right now.]
I wouldn't have implied otherwise if I didn't want to hear it. After all-
[Back to the rafters, an empty noose. Against the wall, a speckle of residual viscera in some shitty rural home. On a table full of dry towels, red drips and drips and drips from the corner and-]
I'm happy you're here too, Maruki. I would like to learn about you, for as long as you're willing to speak.
He waits - steady and resolute in the water, opting to shift his gaze, focus on Maruki out of the corner of his eye, instead of the direct piercing contact that distorted reality. There's no blood in the water, but-
Every word will be coated with it if Maruki speaks and-
He speaks now in attempts to escape with appeals to Akechi's apathy. A sensation that doesn't exist right now.]
I wouldn't have implied otherwise if I didn't want to hear it. After all-
[Back to the rafters, an empty noose. Against the wall, a speckle of residual viscera in some shitty rural home. On a table full of dry towels, red drips and drips and drips from the corner and-]
I'm happy you're here too, Maruki. I would like to learn about you, for as long as you're willing to speak.
[ Maruki blinks a few times, rapidly. Unexpected. Akechi's glad he's here too. There's a measure of care in that statement when it comes from Maruki that is not insignificant – and now the same comes from Akechi. Does he believe it?
He thinks he does.
He'd like to, so he will. If it isn't real now, if he believes in it enough, it will become real eventually. ]
Right. Thank you.
[ Where to begin?
At the beginning. ]
The woman that you saw in the field was my fiancée, Rumi.
[ For as many times as he was able to give a short explanation of who she was to any dreamer who happened to stop by (or get thrown into) the lake with him, this is only the third time he's said her name. Venat, in a grove of trees on a path up a cliffside – Lioriley, tears in her eyes at her own lost love – and now Akechi, across from him in this bathhouse. ]
We met during the very first week of our first year at university and started dating almost as quickly. I hadn't ever had a girlfriend before – in fact, I didn't even really have friends in high school. My family didn't have much money, and I was entirely focused on my studies. Cram school. Working part time jobs to help us get by. It didn't leave a lot of time for anything else. Maybe now you see why I'm a little socially stunted.
[ Is he? In some ways, yes. Cheerful extroversion and genuine interest in others' lives is enough of a mask to get him through most interactions unscathed. ]
She was nothing like me. Playful, hot-headed, unwilling to tolerate anyone's foolishness, including my own... and so charming throughout all of it. She was the kind of person everyone couldn't help but love. Why she ever looked twice at me, let alone chose me, I'll never know. It was the greatest luck of my life.
[ Even when he told this story to Akira back in their reality – to Venat in this one – he hadn't said so much about Rumi herself. Only the events. But Akechi isn't just hearing about it from him. He saw her himself. She deserves to be known. ]
While I went straight into my graduate studies after university, Rumi got a good job at a bank. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive partner while I worked through my degrees. She supported both of us so that I didn't have to try to live on my student stipend. We lived on the ninth floor of an older high-rise – it wasn't fancy by any means, but she loved it. Her family lived out in the country, and she told me she'd always been determined to escape to Tokyo and never go back. I can't imagine someone as fiery as her living in such a sleepy, small town, so it made sense.
[ Just as the memories in the water shifted from their happy afternoon amongst the flowers, the story shifts now with that implication. Maruki pauses for a moment, slides his arms back down into the water, then his shoulders, all the way up to his chin. Briefly re-warming his body. His glasses fog at once and he pushes them up into his hair irritably.
He wishes he could end there. He wishes the memory had never changed. He surely witnessed his own memory more than anyone else in Somnius, touching that water over and over again both for his own study and in the pursuit of helping others. Akechi was the only one who caused it to mutate.
So he has to. He must. And besides– he wasn't kidding when he said he'd like to tell Akechi. He does want to. It's just–
Difficult. He breathes. Even, steady, purposeful. Counting the beats in his head. ]
When I was close to completing my doctorate degree, I proposed to her. It wasn't going to be a very large wedding – we had a small core group of friends from university, I had no family and she only had her parents. We started planning it right away, to happen as soon as I was at last done with school so that we could move into the next phase of our lives. The problem was...
[ Despite what's coming, he laughs, a shake of his head at his former self. ]
I still can't believe it, but I'd never actually met her parents. I can count the number of times Rumi visited home in all the years we were together on one hand, so there simply weren't opportunities. But I wanted to. It was important to me to be able to ask them for their daughter's hand in marriage. And I'd never been more nervous for anything in my life. You have to imagine, Akechi – I had been in school for my entire adult life. I had no job experience and very little money. Some of my degrees were in psychology, but I was pursuing the most niche field possible for my doctorate and too obsessed with my research to consider how unviable my career prospects were about to be. I had nothing to offer, and I was so sure they would tell me no. That the happy life Rumi and I had planned for our future would end.
[ Any fondness in his expression built up through recounting her, all the wonderfully brilliant facets of her, has faded. Beneath the water, Maruki twists his hands together. He glances down at it, not sure what he expects to see. It's only water. ]
So, we made the trip out to the countryside for her birthday. February third. It was so cold that winter. I'd never seen so much snow.
[ For some reason, that's what draws him into a lull of quiet. For a few long moments, Maruki only keeps his eyes down, his breath still coming out telltale even.
When it eventually passes, he clears his throat and sits up straighter, shoulders out of the water again, a hand coming to rest against the center of his sternum. He presses the heel of his palm into it, rubbing minutely back and forth. ]
It was an attempted robbery. I'm sure you could tell from the state of the house. We had been playing cards and paused to take a break. Her mother was making lunch. Rumi and I were in the back of the house, trying to figure out what was wrong with their internet. Stupid, huh?
[ His palm digs in harder. ]
Nothing about it made sense. Why them? They were quiet, humble people. Why their house? It was in the middle of nowhere. Why that day, of all days?
[ His worst paranoia is on the tip of his tongue. He bites it back, focuses. ]
We just don't know any reasoning behind it. Perhaps they didn't expect anyone to be home and panicked. We ran back into the main part of the house when we heard the commotion. And– you saw.
[ The phone off the hook in an aborted call for help. Her mother, trying to reach her husband. Her father, legs still tucked under the kotatsu. ]
When they were fleeing the house, Rumi got in their way. They attacked her– and I couldn't do anything.
[ Frozen, useless. He's never forgotten the way Rumi screamed when she saw her parents, the way it seemed to reverberate forever through the empty countryside, through his head and his heart. The air thick with the copper tang of blood. Everything destroyed in an instant.
Maruki looks at Akechi then, and it's likely the worst Akechi has seen him – openly sorrowful and so, so very tired. ]
The men got away. I couldn't drag her from her parents until help arrived. We were lucky that her physical injuries weren't worse, but she–
[ The story hasn't exactly come easily until now, but this is the point where it finally catches his throat. He fights to keep his voice even, recount this as factually as he can. ]
Rumi never recovered mentally. She went into a catatonic state. I visited her in the hospital every day, sat by her bed for hours, and she never saw me.
[ No, not never. ]
Sometimes– she would come out of it. But that was worse. She would relive that day until she was knocked out again. I learned from her doctors that it only happened if I was there. If she recognized my presence, or if I tried to talk about her family– and it got worse every time. It was dangerous for me to be near her.
[ And here's where the story becomes relevant to Akechi. Maruki brings his now cleared glasses back down onto his nose and looks over to him, expression gone unreadable. ]
In the middle of the worst of those breakdowns was when I heard Azathoth for the first time. I had never felt so powerless and so hateful toward our torturous reality for ruining the life of someone who did nothing wrong.
[ There is a part that he skips over, unwilling to derail this with talk of what Azathoth can truly do, still terrified to even admit it when he now knows it's completely out of the ordinary. What follows isn't a lie, but it's– ]
She was never the same again. It was as if the woman I loved had died, and there was no hope of her ever coming back. We eventually had to go our separate ways– no, that isn't accurate. I had to let her go, for her own good, so she could begin to heal without me.
[ –the truth, just with a piece missing. ]
I've heard that she's doing much better now, and that's all that I can ask for.
[ All five fingers digging into his chest now. He hardly notices it. ]
I vowed to pursue my work in cognitive psience to find a way to heal traumatic emotional wounds like Rumi's, no matter what. Everything I've done– everything I do even now is for her. Everything.
[ He has to stop then. There's nothing more to say that wouldn't be useless sentiment – he loved her, he loves her, he won't ever stop loving her, and she doesn't even know who he is.
That hand drops into the water and he settles back against the edge of the tub again, blinking, as if only now realizing just how much he said. His voice is small. ]
I'm sorry. That was a lot.
He thinks he does.
He'd like to, so he will. If it isn't real now, if he believes in it enough, it will become real eventually. ]
Right. Thank you.
[ Where to begin?
At the beginning. ]
The woman that you saw in the field was my fiancée, Rumi.
[ For as many times as he was able to give a short explanation of who she was to any dreamer who happened to stop by (or get thrown into) the lake with him, this is only the third time he's said her name. Venat, in a grove of trees on a path up a cliffside – Lioriley, tears in her eyes at her own lost love – and now Akechi, across from him in this bathhouse. ]
We met during the very first week of our first year at university and started dating almost as quickly. I hadn't ever had a girlfriend before – in fact, I didn't even really have friends in high school. My family didn't have much money, and I was entirely focused on my studies. Cram school. Working part time jobs to help us get by. It didn't leave a lot of time for anything else. Maybe now you see why I'm a little socially stunted.
[ Is he? In some ways, yes. Cheerful extroversion and genuine interest in others' lives is enough of a mask to get him through most interactions unscathed. ]
She was nothing like me. Playful, hot-headed, unwilling to tolerate anyone's foolishness, including my own... and so charming throughout all of it. She was the kind of person everyone couldn't help but love. Why she ever looked twice at me, let alone chose me, I'll never know. It was the greatest luck of my life.
[ Even when he told this story to Akira back in their reality – to Venat in this one – he hadn't said so much about Rumi herself. Only the events. But Akechi isn't just hearing about it from him. He saw her himself. She deserves to be known. ]
While I went straight into my graduate studies after university, Rumi got a good job at a bank. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive partner while I worked through my degrees. She supported both of us so that I didn't have to try to live on my student stipend. We lived on the ninth floor of an older high-rise – it wasn't fancy by any means, but she loved it. Her family lived out in the country, and she told me she'd always been determined to escape to Tokyo and never go back. I can't imagine someone as fiery as her living in such a sleepy, small town, so it made sense.
[ Just as the memories in the water shifted from their happy afternoon amongst the flowers, the story shifts now with that implication. Maruki pauses for a moment, slides his arms back down into the water, then his shoulders, all the way up to his chin. Briefly re-warming his body. His glasses fog at once and he pushes them up into his hair irritably.
He wishes he could end there. He wishes the memory had never changed. He surely witnessed his own memory more than anyone else in Somnius, touching that water over and over again both for his own study and in the pursuit of helping others. Akechi was the only one who caused it to mutate.
So he has to. He must. And besides– he wasn't kidding when he said he'd like to tell Akechi. He does want to. It's just–
Difficult. He breathes. Even, steady, purposeful. Counting the beats in his head. ]
When I was close to completing my doctorate degree, I proposed to her. It wasn't going to be a very large wedding – we had a small core group of friends from university, I had no family and she only had her parents. We started planning it right away, to happen as soon as I was at last done with school so that we could move into the next phase of our lives. The problem was...
[ Despite what's coming, he laughs, a shake of his head at his former self. ]
I still can't believe it, but I'd never actually met her parents. I can count the number of times Rumi visited home in all the years we were together on one hand, so there simply weren't opportunities. But I wanted to. It was important to me to be able to ask them for their daughter's hand in marriage. And I'd never been more nervous for anything in my life. You have to imagine, Akechi – I had been in school for my entire adult life. I had no job experience and very little money. Some of my degrees were in psychology, but I was pursuing the most niche field possible for my doctorate and too obsessed with my research to consider how unviable my career prospects were about to be. I had nothing to offer, and I was so sure they would tell me no. That the happy life Rumi and I had planned for our future would end.
[ Any fondness in his expression built up through recounting her, all the wonderfully brilliant facets of her, has faded. Beneath the water, Maruki twists his hands together. He glances down at it, not sure what he expects to see. It's only water. ]
So, we made the trip out to the countryside for her birthday. February third. It was so cold that winter. I'd never seen so much snow.
[ For some reason, that's what draws him into a lull of quiet. For a few long moments, Maruki only keeps his eyes down, his breath still coming out telltale even.
When it eventually passes, he clears his throat and sits up straighter, shoulders out of the water again, a hand coming to rest against the center of his sternum. He presses the heel of his palm into it, rubbing minutely back and forth. ]
It was an attempted robbery. I'm sure you could tell from the state of the house. We had been playing cards and paused to take a break. Her mother was making lunch. Rumi and I were in the back of the house, trying to figure out what was wrong with their internet. Stupid, huh?
[ His palm digs in harder. ]
Nothing about it made sense. Why them? They were quiet, humble people. Why their house? It was in the middle of nowhere. Why that day, of all days?
[ His worst paranoia is on the tip of his tongue. He bites it back, focuses. ]
We just don't know any reasoning behind it. Perhaps they didn't expect anyone to be home and panicked. We ran back into the main part of the house when we heard the commotion. And– you saw.
[ The phone off the hook in an aborted call for help. Her mother, trying to reach her husband. Her father, legs still tucked under the kotatsu. ]
When they were fleeing the house, Rumi got in their way. They attacked her– and I couldn't do anything.
[ Frozen, useless. He's never forgotten the way Rumi screamed when she saw her parents, the way it seemed to reverberate forever through the empty countryside, through his head and his heart. The air thick with the copper tang of blood. Everything destroyed in an instant.
Maruki looks at Akechi then, and it's likely the worst Akechi has seen him – openly sorrowful and so, so very tired. ]
The men got away. I couldn't drag her from her parents until help arrived. We were lucky that her physical injuries weren't worse, but she–
[ The story hasn't exactly come easily until now, but this is the point where it finally catches his throat. He fights to keep his voice even, recount this as factually as he can. ]
Rumi never recovered mentally. She went into a catatonic state. I visited her in the hospital every day, sat by her bed for hours, and she never saw me.
[ No, not never. ]
Sometimes– she would come out of it. But that was worse. She would relive that day until she was knocked out again. I learned from her doctors that it only happened if I was there. If she recognized my presence, or if I tried to talk about her family– and it got worse every time. It was dangerous for me to be near her.
[ And here's where the story becomes relevant to Akechi. Maruki brings his now cleared glasses back down onto his nose and looks over to him, expression gone unreadable. ]
In the middle of the worst of those breakdowns was when I heard Azathoth for the first time. I had never felt so powerless and so hateful toward our torturous reality for ruining the life of someone who did nothing wrong.
[ There is a part that he skips over, unwilling to derail this with talk of what Azathoth can truly do, still terrified to even admit it when he now knows it's completely out of the ordinary. What follows isn't a lie, but it's– ]
She was never the same again. It was as if the woman I loved had died, and there was no hope of her ever coming back. We eventually had to go our separate ways– no, that isn't accurate. I had to let her go, for her own good, so she could begin to heal without me.
[ –the truth, just with a piece missing. ]
I've heard that she's doing much better now, and that's all that I can ask for.
[ All five fingers digging into his chest now. He hardly notices it. ]
I vowed to pursue my work in cognitive psience to find a way to heal traumatic emotional wounds like Rumi's, no matter what. Everything I've done– everything I do even now is for her. Everything.
[ He has to stop then. There's nothing more to say that wouldn't be useless sentiment – he loved her, he loves her, he won't ever stop loving her, and she doesn't even know who he is.
That hand drops into the water and he settles back against the edge of the tub again, blinking, as if only now realizing just how much he said. His voice is small. ]
I'm sorry. That was a lot.
Edited 2024-06-25 09:47 (UTC)
[Their love story is -
Plain. Typical. A mild mannered man falls for a hot headed woman - it follows conventional tropes. A meaningless backdrop for the sentimental and given where this story ends up-
What a load of good that 'greatest luck of my life' did for him, as he recounts a story meant to end in bloodshed.
But he listens with rapt attention - because he asked, because he's curious, because he can feign interest and retain information on the mundane before the real focus comes to life. Rumi isn't like his mother - Rumi was loved, adored and surrounded by people who hold her memory close. She doesn't need one more with Akechi.
It's easy to feign care, at first. People crying at his feet while they collect crime scene information of a case Akechi knows the solution for, listening to the woes of those in the throes of interrogation - he can fake it for as long as necessary.
There are hitches in Maruki's breath. Uncomfortable shifting. Akechi keeps himself steady in the background, as a statue meant to observe and nothing more. The love story didn't matter, but-
Then it breaks.
A scene explained and confirmed - questions anyone would ask when faced with the brutality of a random attack, a sudden loss with no explanation. A vision of that home reignited with Akechi's own closed eyes. One categorized and sorted through with efficiency. Two corpses - one disjointed across the floor, a man turned to organ and blood. The death of two people done with a practiced precision that makes him second guess a random robbery - a cold day, a cognitive researcher, a warning.
But Shido isn't sloppy. His people aren't idiots - too smart, almost. They would never mistake an elderly couple for the young cognitive researcher and his fiance. The connection between his niche field and their deaths not clear enough to be a morbid warning.
Shido doesn't warn. Akechi would have been sent to finish any job left undone. The cleaners don't mess up.
Then Maruki's tone shifts - the memory clear in the water when he opens his eyes, when he looks at Maruki at They attacked her and -
Anguish. A raw, primal force that would call forth a god itself.
It makes sense, suddenly, why his persona is strong, why 'it was dangerous for me to be near her' feels like a calling card. 'It was dangerous for me to be near her' and now-
He's dangerous to be around. The ironclad control on his soul the only reason why Azathoth didn't become Azathoth and-
Whatever his version of Loki would be.
A voice turned neutral, a feigned sort of protection against the unpleasant. Akechi allows it with only a glance back to the water.
He thinks about their conversation under the newly flickering starlight, pressed back against grass and a force unlike anything he's ever seen hovering over him. Loss is a powerful driving force shared in the quiet moments after battle feels more appropriate than ever.
I've heard that she's doing much better now, and that's all that I can ask for. It's all he can ask for. She's doing the best she can. A connection severed for the good of another. He did the right thing and -
I vowed to pursue my work in cognitive psience to find a way to heal traumatic emotional wounds like Rumi's, no matter what. It's a bomb. A ticking clock. Nothing about this field will cure another. It will kill. He opens his mouth to say-
Something.
To warn, in a way Shido would never allow, to provide a kindness not afforded to anyone in this world and-
Shuts it, just as fast. Loss is a powerful driving enough to spurn the life of a entity beyond all reason. Logic. Enough to press a gun to someone's head again and again and again.
A warning wouldn't stop Maruki and-
That strength of will is the reason respect formed between them, in the warped, twisted little ball it has. He wouldn't insult him by implying a teenager's vague words would be enough to end his love for Rumi. Rumi, with a murdered family. Rumi, who will be easy to find in police databases. Rumi, who-
Everything I've done– everything I do even now is for her. Everything. gave life to a man lost, even in her absence.
Akechi doesn't care about Maruki. Rumi. The intensity of the story enough to spur his own paranoia and adrenhiline with knowledge of a darker world behind scenes, but-
When he sees that hand drop, his body slump, his voice quieter than he's ever heard-
It feels like settling into a cozy cafe chair, too cheap to be comfortable, with the scent of too spicy curry coupled with a fresh cup of coffee he never has to ask for and-
It's Akechi's turn, for once, to press that piping hot cup into a lost hand.
He shouldn't care. Doesn't. A part of him staunch in its refusal to let his heart waver beyond taking in information with a clinical, cold sort of accuracy required for reports and paperwork. Man reports death of a couple, a woman injured with pinpoint precision of the scene over people.
Akechi slinks into the water himself, then slides back up.
Slides over. Close, but not quite. It's what a detective prince would do, but-
He isn't a detective prince with Maruki. Isn't Crow. Isn't even Akechi Goro in full, but he's-
Akechi.
And Akechi doesn't care about serving empty platitudes or feigned condolences. How many times has he heard 'I'm sorry for your loss' 'I'm sorry about her' 'I'm sorry about-']
You did the best you could.
[Quiet. The frayed edges of his words grasping at what little sincerity remains in his heart. His back settling against he same wall as Maruki is against, even as he remains an arm's length away.]
To turn your life into one meant to serve others, to cure them of their own wounds -
[Thoughtful and soft-he doesn't want her back. Wants others to avoid the same brutality of a life ripped apart. An impossible task, when the world is so unrelenting.]
She would be proud of you and what you've accomplished, but not for the reasons you think. Of course, I'm simply posturing, as I don't know her at all. This is only from what I've gleaned.
[A fiery, hot headed woman and a distorted love torn.]
Your fight against an unjust reality and for the broken lives in it is an uphill, unwinnable battle, but-
[His hands raise from the water, palms up, mock surrender and compliance.]
I find myself wanting to put my faith in you regardless. Isn't that funny? Perhaps it's the strength of your will that's won me over a little bit. Rumi must have seen that in you before anyone else. Some people are simply like that - they can tear down a mask before you're even aware one is on your face.
[A beat. Hands lower. Maruki's dream is so goddamn stupid. His goal impossible, but just like Joker-
There's a flicker of life he can't deny, a will impossible to ignore.]
It's fortunate you were able to meet someone who gave you freedom.
Plain. Typical. A mild mannered man falls for a hot headed woman - it follows conventional tropes. A meaningless backdrop for the sentimental and given where this story ends up-
What a load of good that 'greatest luck of my life' did for him, as he recounts a story meant to end in bloodshed.
But he listens with rapt attention - because he asked, because he's curious, because he can feign interest and retain information on the mundane before the real focus comes to life. Rumi isn't like his mother - Rumi was loved, adored and surrounded by people who hold her memory close. She doesn't need one more with Akechi.
It's easy to feign care, at first. People crying at his feet while they collect crime scene information of a case Akechi knows the solution for, listening to the woes of those in the throes of interrogation - he can fake it for as long as necessary.
There are hitches in Maruki's breath. Uncomfortable shifting. Akechi keeps himself steady in the background, as a statue meant to observe and nothing more. The love story didn't matter, but-
Then it breaks.
A scene explained and confirmed - questions anyone would ask when faced with the brutality of a random attack, a sudden loss with no explanation. A vision of that home reignited with Akechi's own closed eyes. One categorized and sorted through with efficiency. Two corpses - one disjointed across the floor, a man turned to organ and blood. The death of two people done with a practiced precision that makes him second guess a random robbery - a cold day, a cognitive researcher, a warning.
But Shido isn't sloppy. His people aren't idiots - too smart, almost. They would never mistake an elderly couple for the young cognitive researcher and his fiance. The connection between his niche field and their deaths not clear enough to be a morbid warning.
Shido doesn't warn. Akechi would have been sent to finish any job left undone. The cleaners don't mess up.
Then Maruki's tone shifts - the memory clear in the water when he opens his eyes, when he looks at Maruki at They attacked her and -
Anguish. A raw, primal force that would call forth a god itself.
It makes sense, suddenly, why his persona is strong, why 'it was dangerous for me to be near her' feels like a calling card. 'It was dangerous for me to be near her' and now-
He's dangerous to be around. The ironclad control on his soul the only reason why Azathoth didn't become Azathoth and-
Whatever his version of Loki would be.
A voice turned neutral, a feigned sort of protection against the unpleasant. Akechi allows it with only a glance back to the water.
He thinks about their conversation under the newly flickering starlight, pressed back against grass and a force unlike anything he's ever seen hovering over him. Loss is a powerful driving force shared in the quiet moments after battle feels more appropriate than ever.
I've heard that she's doing much better now, and that's all that I can ask for. It's all he can ask for. She's doing the best she can. A connection severed for the good of another. He did the right thing and -
I vowed to pursue my work in cognitive psience to find a way to heal traumatic emotional wounds like Rumi's, no matter what. It's a bomb. A ticking clock. Nothing about this field will cure another. It will kill. He opens his mouth to say-
Something.
To warn, in a way Shido would never allow, to provide a kindness not afforded to anyone in this world and-
Shuts it, just as fast. Loss is a powerful driving enough to spurn the life of a entity beyond all reason. Logic. Enough to press a gun to someone's head again and again and again.
A warning wouldn't stop Maruki and-
That strength of will is the reason respect formed between them, in the warped, twisted little ball it has. He wouldn't insult him by implying a teenager's vague words would be enough to end his love for Rumi. Rumi, with a murdered family. Rumi, who will be easy to find in police databases. Rumi, who-
Everything I've done– everything I do even now is for her. Everything. gave life to a man lost, even in her absence.
Akechi doesn't care about Maruki. Rumi. The intensity of the story enough to spur his own paranoia and adrenhiline with knowledge of a darker world behind scenes, but-
When he sees that hand drop, his body slump, his voice quieter than he's ever heard-
It feels like settling into a cozy cafe chair, too cheap to be comfortable, with the scent of too spicy curry coupled with a fresh cup of coffee he never has to ask for and-
It's Akechi's turn, for once, to press that piping hot cup into a lost hand.
He shouldn't care. Doesn't. A part of him staunch in its refusal to let his heart waver beyond taking in information with a clinical, cold sort of accuracy required for reports and paperwork. Man reports death of a couple, a woman injured with pinpoint precision of the scene over people.
Akechi slinks into the water himself, then slides back up.
Slides over. Close, but not quite. It's what a detective prince would do, but-
He isn't a detective prince with Maruki. Isn't Crow. Isn't even Akechi Goro in full, but he's-
Akechi.
And Akechi doesn't care about serving empty platitudes or feigned condolences. How many times has he heard 'I'm sorry for your loss' 'I'm sorry about her' 'I'm sorry about-']
You did the best you could.
[Quiet. The frayed edges of his words grasping at what little sincerity remains in his heart. His back settling against he same wall as Maruki is against, even as he remains an arm's length away.]
To turn your life into one meant to serve others, to cure them of their own wounds -
[Thoughtful and soft-he doesn't want her back. Wants others to avoid the same brutality of a life ripped apart. An impossible task, when the world is so unrelenting.]
She would be proud of you and what you've accomplished, but not for the reasons you think. Of course, I'm simply posturing, as I don't know her at all. This is only from what I've gleaned.
[A fiery, hot headed woman and a distorted love torn.]
Your fight against an unjust reality and for the broken lives in it is an uphill, unwinnable battle, but-
[His hands raise from the water, palms up, mock surrender and compliance.]
I find myself wanting to put my faith in you regardless. Isn't that funny? Perhaps it's the strength of your will that's won me over a little bit. Rumi must have seen that in you before anyone else. Some people are simply like that - they can tear down a mask before you're even aware one is on your face.
[A beat. Hands lower. Maruki's dream is so goddamn stupid. His goal impossible, but just like Joker-
There's a flicker of life he can't deny, a will impossible to ignore.]
It's fortunate you were able to meet someone who gave you freedom.
Edited 2024-06-25 14:04 (UTC)
[ Telling Venat as much of the story as he could had been a profound relief, a tremendous weight off his soul. Maruki is certain it's the only reason he was able to stand seeing his memory once, let alone dozens of times. Her acknowledgement of his own pain and grief, her tender but unyielding support. All of it meant more to Maruki than he'll ever be able to quantify or thank her for, no matter how long they're in this reality together.
Telling Akechi, on the other hand–
You did the best you could.
Maruki turns his head. Looks at him, watches him lean back against the same wall. Listens to him, hears a note of gentle integrity in his voice that he doesn't think he ever has before. Maybe a shade of it, knelt together on that department store floor, there's no shame in feeling pain, but even then – nothing like this.
That earlier hesitant doubt swept away. Akechi does care about him. Perhaps more than anyone has in a while.
You did the best you could, and he did. It's true. He tried to reach Rumi, for months. He helped her in the only way he could, to his own detriment, and–
And it was the best he could do. And it's on the tip of his tongue. Why Azathoth's voice came to him that day, what he wished for, how she looked at him with her old bright eyes, her old smile, none of her old recognition.
Maruki swallows it back.
Swallows hard.
She would be proud. He hopes she would. A plan that had just barely begun to spin out from his own mind before he arrived here and now feels so far from his grasp that it might as well have belonged to another man entirely – even if he hasn't accomplished that, even if he doesn't. Even if every reality remains as unrelentingly, meaninglessly cruel. Would she still be proud?
Not changing one heart, changing billions. He'd promised her so much.
Maybe–
Akechi wants to put his faith in him.
Akechi has never had any interest in counseling and only a surface level respect for what he does. He's made his feelings about the sadsack whiners who take up Maruki's time plain to him. But this– faith in his larger mission, standing up against the world that has hurt them both so badly–
Maybe he wouldn't feel that way if he knew the original methods and means of that fight. But Maruki has learned new ways to bolster it in Somnius. He's learned them from Akechi. His mission has changed, invariably. And it's one Akechi can have faith in.
Even Akira didn't extend him this same grace.
He won't stop talking, soft enough that it doesn't bounce off the stone walls, firm enough that Maruki doesn't hesitate in his belief this time. Every new statement washes over him, wave after wave, until–
Rumi must have seen that in you–
No one else has said her name.
Neither Venat nor Lioriley here, and not Akira back in their reality – no one speaks of her when he tells this tale. Akechi does. Clarifies it by saying that he doesn't know her, is only speculating, and yet he makes the most astute observation of all. He says her name, and it feels held safe when he does. Maruki trusts him.
It still punches all the air out of him, though. All at once, as if swept out by great bellows. You did the best you could and she would be proud of you and I find myself wanting to put my faith in you and Rumi must have seen that and his throat has closed up, his vision wavers at the edges as he looks back down, maybe it's just the ripple of the water but they're both so still, maybe–
Maruki laughs. Just once, breathless, humorless, like it's the only sound that can be ripped from him at the moment.
Stinging heat built up behind his eyes that has nothing to do with the steam rising off the water.
He draws a hand out of the water, nudges his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. ]
Shit. Sorry.
[ He can pull it together. He's had it together for a very long time now. Another laugh, some actual life behind it this time. ]
I'm sorry. I'm fine. If you can believe it, I've never told anyone the full story before. And even the ones I've told bits and pieces– ah. No one's ever responded like that.
[ It's pathetic to admit, really, but– in some ways, Maruki isn't a liar at all. This is one of them. Emotional honesty is probably Akechi's least favorite brand of it, but at times he knows no other way.
His voice has evened out again, his vision has cleared. He pushes his glasses up into his hair abruptly and presses both hands against his cheeks, boiling warm from being in the water, bracing. A vigorous rub and a final laugh, genuine this time, as he looks over at Akechi with nothing but gratitude. ]
Thanks. For listening and for saying that. I want to put my faith in you too.
Telling Akechi, on the other hand–
You did the best you could.
Maruki turns his head. Looks at him, watches him lean back against the same wall. Listens to him, hears a note of gentle integrity in his voice that he doesn't think he ever has before. Maybe a shade of it, knelt together on that department store floor, there's no shame in feeling pain, but even then – nothing like this.
That earlier hesitant doubt swept away. Akechi does care about him. Perhaps more than anyone has in a while.
You did the best you could, and he did. It's true. He tried to reach Rumi, for months. He helped her in the only way he could, to his own detriment, and–
And it was the best he could do. And it's on the tip of his tongue. Why Azathoth's voice came to him that day, what he wished for, how she looked at him with her old bright eyes, her old smile, none of her old recognition.
Maruki swallows it back.
Swallows hard.
She would be proud. He hopes she would. A plan that had just barely begun to spin out from his own mind before he arrived here and now feels so far from his grasp that it might as well have belonged to another man entirely – even if he hasn't accomplished that, even if he doesn't. Even if every reality remains as unrelentingly, meaninglessly cruel. Would she still be proud?
Not changing one heart, changing billions. He'd promised her so much.
Maybe–
Akechi wants to put his faith in him.
Akechi has never had any interest in counseling and only a surface level respect for what he does. He's made his feelings about the sadsack whiners who take up Maruki's time plain to him. But this– faith in his larger mission, standing up against the world that has hurt them both so badly–
Maybe he wouldn't feel that way if he knew the original methods and means of that fight. But Maruki has learned new ways to bolster it in Somnius. He's learned them from Akechi. His mission has changed, invariably. And it's one Akechi can have faith in.
Even Akira didn't extend him this same grace.
He won't stop talking, soft enough that it doesn't bounce off the stone walls, firm enough that Maruki doesn't hesitate in his belief this time. Every new statement washes over him, wave after wave, until–
Rumi must have seen that in you–
No one else has said her name.
Neither Venat nor Lioriley here, and not Akira back in their reality – no one speaks of her when he tells this tale. Akechi does. Clarifies it by saying that he doesn't know her, is only speculating, and yet he makes the most astute observation of all. He says her name, and it feels held safe when he does. Maruki trusts him.
It still punches all the air out of him, though. All at once, as if swept out by great bellows. You did the best you could and she would be proud of you and I find myself wanting to put my faith in you and Rumi must have seen that and his throat has closed up, his vision wavers at the edges as he looks back down, maybe it's just the ripple of the water but they're both so still, maybe–
Maruki laughs. Just once, breathless, humorless, like it's the only sound that can be ripped from him at the moment.
Stinging heat built up behind his eyes that has nothing to do with the steam rising off the water.
He draws a hand out of the water, nudges his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. ]
Shit. Sorry.
[ He can pull it together. He's had it together for a very long time now. Another laugh, some actual life behind it this time. ]
I'm sorry. I'm fine. If you can believe it, I've never told anyone the full story before. And even the ones I've told bits and pieces– ah. No one's ever responded like that.
[ It's pathetic to admit, really, but– in some ways, Maruki isn't a liar at all. This is one of them. Emotional honesty is probably Akechi's least favorite brand of it, but at times he knows no other way.
His voice has evened out again, his vision has cleared. He pushes his glasses up into his hair abruptly and presses both hands against his cheeks, boiling warm from being in the water, bracing. A vigorous rub and a final laugh, genuine this time, as he looks over at Akechi with nothing but gratitude. ]
Thanks. For listening and for saying that. I want to put my faith in you too.
Edited (the only murder to cw for was emotional murder) 2024-06-26 00:19 (UTC)
[The tension of a hard spoken tale breaks with that forced out laugh, the way he touches his face to stop-
Akechi looks away, as a courtesy. The waterworks are unnecessary, but allowed with the brief respite of shared secrets from a man far more emotional than he lets on.
He can believe that's a story hard wrangled - if not for the lake spilling memories neither wanted aired, Akechi never would have asked. Maruki never would have spoken. Their goals align - hobbies, interests, and even humor, on occasion. In the rare moments where collective ire pools in the wall between their rooms, a series of knocks answered by looking at the most inane shit that's ever posted on this shithole's internet.
But it's a stretch to call them friends and this -
Evokes a sensation in chest, akin to Robin Hood's ever persistent, ever annoying, presence. It bursts through his chest like blood from a broken vein, an internal wound, a fading sort of warmth that burns and hurts, more than it comforts.
Comfort, still there, all the same.
He tries to quiet it down, but it wasn't Robin Hood at all.
The thought disturbs him. Unsettles. He's dizzy from the bath and that's what's making him lose focus.]
Of course. Listening was the least I could do and I hope I said nothing offensive. Despite how many scripts I read from, I've never been the type to follow one.
[It's-
I want to put my faith in you too and-
Joker must have said that to him, once. Implied it, maybe, right before the inevitable. A muzzle pressed to his skull and regret instant in those widened eyes.
He wonders if Maruki will cry. If he'll even recognize the cold steel against his forehead, a couple centimeters above where his glasses sit. Akechi can pinpoint the exact angle, how he'll have to account for the glare of his eyewear, so he can see recognition in those final moments. Maruki's life is ever shortening countdown, just like Akechi's, but-
If Akechi can speed up his own shortened life, kill Shido before this man's godlike power is ever found out-
It won't matter anyway. It's not like he enjoys sullying his hands with mistakes and unfinished work. The Metaverse shadows are easy to wash off, even if he can always smell the decay.
Blood was harder. His gloves had to be thrown out. A new school uniform. Pinpricks of black visible with hours of close inspection. Always visible. Tiny dots the color of Joker's mask and-
If he has to kill Maruki, he'll wear different clothes. Older gloves.
Shido's election is imminent. Soon. Whatever happens, he needs to be prepared for.
His eyes hurt. Lines. Colors. A series of rapid blinks.]
However, if I may - you placing your faith in someone you hardly know, whose overall intentions are unclear outside of our obvious shared goal - those are the types of actions that could create walls for your own dreams. You should be more cautious. I've never stated my overall plan and my true intentions could be nefarious - vile, even. That goes for anyone, even the duck.
[He laughs, as if trying to break up the air itself - a hand resting under his chin in an age old habit he can't break. Bright smile returning, the truth in his words coated with an artificial sheen.]
Oh, I guess that sounds quite ominous. It's a simple word of warning. Given my profession, I've seen more than my fair share of betrayal. Often from those you think you know best - friends, partners, roommates, coworkers, family. It's rarely a stranger that hurts you the most.
[Another laugh, his hand drops into the crystal clear water.]
But you're welcome to place your faith in me. I'll try not to let you down.
Akechi looks away, as a courtesy. The waterworks are unnecessary, but allowed with the brief respite of shared secrets from a man far more emotional than he lets on.
He can believe that's a story hard wrangled - if not for the lake spilling memories neither wanted aired, Akechi never would have asked. Maruki never would have spoken. Their goals align - hobbies, interests, and even humor, on occasion. In the rare moments where collective ire pools in the wall between their rooms, a series of knocks answered by looking at the most inane shit that's ever posted on this shithole's internet.
But it's a stretch to call them friends and this -
Evokes a sensation in chest, akin to Robin Hood's ever persistent, ever annoying, presence. It bursts through his chest like blood from a broken vein, an internal wound, a fading sort of warmth that burns and hurts, more than it comforts.
Comfort, still there, all the same.
He tries to quiet it down, but it wasn't Robin Hood at all.
The thought disturbs him. Unsettles. He's dizzy from the bath and that's what's making him lose focus.]
Of course. Listening was the least I could do and I hope I said nothing offensive. Despite how many scripts I read from, I've never been the type to follow one.
[It's-
I want to put my faith in you too and-
Joker must have said that to him, once. Implied it, maybe, right before the inevitable. A muzzle pressed to his skull and regret instant in those widened eyes.
He wonders if Maruki will cry. If he'll even recognize the cold steel against his forehead, a couple centimeters above where his glasses sit. Akechi can pinpoint the exact angle, how he'll have to account for the glare of his eyewear, so he can see recognition in those final moments. Maruki's life is ever shortening countdown, just like Akechi's, but-
If Akechi can speed up his own shortened life, kill Shido before this man's godlike power is ever found out-
It won't matter anyway. It's not like he enjoys sullying his hands with mistakes and unfinished work. The Metaverse shadows are easy to wash off, even if he can always smell the decay.
Blood was harder. His gloves had to be thrown out. A new school uniform. Pinpricks of black visible with hours of close inspection. Always visible. Tiny dots the color of Joker's mask and-
If he has to kill Maruki, he'll wear different clothes. Older gloves.
Shido's election is imminent. Soon. Whatever happens, he needs to be prepared for.
His eyes hurt. Lines. Colors. A series of rapid blinks.]
However, if I may - you placing your faith in someone you hardly know, whose overall intentions are unclear outside of our obvious shared goal - those are the types of actions that could create walls for your own dreams. You should be more cautious. I've never stated my overall plan and my true intentions could be nefarious - vile, even. That goes for anyone, even the duck.
[He laughs, as if trying to break up the air itself - a hand resting under his chin in an age old habit he can't break. Bright smile returning, the truth in his words coated with an artificial sheen.]
Oh, I guess that sounds quite ominous. It's a simple word of warning. Given my profession, I've seen more than my fair share of betrayal. Often from those you think you know best - friends, partners, roommates, coworkers, family. It's rarely a stranger that hurts you the most.
[Another laugh, his hand drops into the crystal clear water.]
But you're welcome to place your faith in me. I'll try not to let you down.
[ This is–
Funny.
This is so funny.
Does he profess to know Akechi perfectly well? Not at all. He never would. They have lived whole lives without one another, and there is still so much that they obfuscate from one another. There likely always will be.
But you don't spend months around someone, day in and day out, establishing the quiet routines of living and working together, revealing parts of yourselves to one another, training and fighting together and against one another in kind without learning how to handle a person well.
Maruki listens to his warnings, bites the inside of his cheek to force himself not to smile. The almost-tears are forgotten; they'll be back later, when he's alone in his room, still bath-warm and thinking back on Akechi's words to commit them to memory. Now he's only–
Endeared, really.
Akechi is a liar, but not always. There are kernels of truth in these statements, Maruki knows that. And he would love nothing more than to know Akechi's larger plan – Xie Lian's meddling still fresh in his mind, the mania in Akechi's eyes as he stormed out of the castle – but what good would it be to ask now? Akechi wouldn't reveal it.
Maruki didn't reveal his, either. Despite appearances.
They're liars. But that doesn't mean the trust isn't there, and the faith.
He looks at Akechi like he's just rattled off a particularly long grocery list to a person who's already done half of the shopping. Of course these are things Maruki knows. Has experienced in his own life. Expression mild, brows raised, but words sincere as ever. ]
I appreciate the warning, but it only seems fair if you're doing the same to me. I know you won't let me down.
[ A stretch, his arms over his head, the shifting blood flow a little dizzying for how long they've been in here. ]
By the way...
[ And then Maruki finally lets that smile loose, all the genuine affection he feels for Akechi and all the exasperated mischief along with it. ]
Enthralled?
[ A hand against the top of Akechi's head, quick as a whip.
And then he's shoved over and facedown into the hot water.
Say odd shit, get dunked. ]
Funny.
This is so funny.
Does he profess to know Akechi perfectly well? Not at all. He never would. They have lived whole lives without one another, and there is still so much that they obfuscate from one another. There likely always will be.
But you don't spend months around someone, day in and day out, establishing the quiet routines of living and working together, revealing parts of yourselves to one another, training and fighting together and against one another in kind without learning how to handle a person well.
Maruki listens to his warnings, bites the inside of his cheek to force himself not to smile. The almost-tears are forgotten; they'll be back later, when he's alone in his room, still bath-warm and thinking back on Akechi's words to commit them to memory. Now he's only–
Endeared, really.
Akechi is a liar, but not always. There are kernels of truth in these statements, Maruki knows that. And he would love nothing more than to know Akechi's larger plan – Xie Lian's meddling still fresh in his mind, the mania in Akechi's eyes as he stormed out of the castle – but what good would it be to ask now? Akechi wouldn't reveal it.
Maruki didn't reveal his, either. Despite appearances.
They're liars. But that doesn't mean the trust isn't there, and the faith.
He looks at Akechi like he's just rattled off a particularly long grocery list to a person who's already done half of the shopping. Of course these are things Maruki knows. Has experienced in his own life. Expression mild, brows raised, but words sincere as ever. ]
I appreciate the warning, but it only seems fair if you're doing the same to me. I know you won't let me down.
[ A stretch, his arms over his head, the shifting blood flow a little dizzying for how long they've been in here. ]
By the way...
[ And then Maruki finally lets that smile loose, all the genuine affection he feels for Akechi and all the exasperated mischief along with it. ]
Enthralled?
[ A hand against the top of Akechi's head, quick as a whip.
And then he's shoved over and facedown into the hot water.
Say odd shit, get dunked. ]
What?
[The shift in tone so rapid that he barely registers the word Enthralled. An answer stated fast and automatic, like the pressure against his head is a secret button for the word No. A habit woven so deep into his psyche from only a few weeks of consistent back and forth, he isn't sure how long it will take to shake off.
And then-
He's fucking-
Dunked.
And by god if Robin Hood doesn't flicker to life behind him - static from a radio after a short bump in the road. There, and gone. It's harder to make that persona linger out of spite alone.
And he's up in record goddamn time - sopping wet face and fringe, rapidly blinking eyes to remove water from his vision. No time to wipe them, his hands have another use and it's to lunge forward, arms out, to push Maruki's whole body into the steaming hot pool. Maybe, potentially, holding him under for a very hot second.
And then he lets go! Whoops, never meant to do that. Gosh!]
Oh, my apologies - I slipped.
[The shift in tone so rapid that he barely registers the word Enthralled. An answer stated fast and automatic, like the pressure against his head is a secret button for the word No. A habit woven so deep into his psyche from only a few weeks of consistent back and forth, he isn't sure how long it will take to shake off.
And then-
He's fucking-
Dunked.
And by god if Robin Hood doesn't flicker to life behind him - static from a radio after a short bump in the road. There, and gone. It's harder to make that persona linger out of spite alone.
And he's up in record goddamn time - sopping wet face and fringe, rapidly blinking eyes to remove water from his vision. No time to wipe them, his hands have another use and it's to lunge forward, arms out, to push Maruki's whole body into the steaming hot pool. Maybe, potentially, holding him under for a very hot second.
And then he lets go! Whoops, never meant to do that. Gosh!]
Oh, my apologies - I slipped.
[ Foolish mistake: When Akechi rears up out of the water, Maruki's laughing, loud enough to bounce off the walls of the room–
So when he gets shoved over and held down, he gets a mouthful of water.
He's spluttering as he comes back up, hot hot hot hot hot! and desperately swiping at his eyes.
His eyes? ]
My glasses!
[ Yeah, they're still underwater. Somewhere. He feels around desperately, still laughing at Akechi even as he coughs and tries to get his bearings. ]
Well, I think I was owed that after how many times I got you into that lake, so I'll take it.
[ Glasses secured, thank god, but they're useless now. Maruki pushes his wet hair back off his forehead and then slides them up as well. Akechi is blurred again, but there's surely a faux innocent look over his face, as if he's never done a single thing wrong in his life.
He settles back in the same spot as before, sunken down to his shoulders again, blissful despite the interruptions of shared traumas and playfighting. ]
How much longer can you stand to stay here? I'm not in any rush.
So when he gets shoved over and held down, he gets a mouthful of water.
He's spluttering as he comes back up, hot hot hot hot hot! and desperately swiping at his eyes.
His eyes? ]
My glasses!
[ Yeah, they're still underwater. Somewhere. He feels around desperately, still laughing at Akechi even as he coughs and tries to get his bearings. ]
Well, I think I was owed that after how many times I got you into that lake, so I'll take it.
[ Glasses secured, thank god, but they're useless now. Maruki pushes his wet hair back off his forehead and then slides them up as well. Akechi is blurred again, but there's surely a faux innocent look over his face, as if he's never done a single thing wrong in his life.
He settles back in the same spot as before, sunken down to his shoulders again, blissful despite the interruptions of shared traumas and playfighting. ]
How much longer can you stand to stay here? I'm not in any rush.
[He IS the picture perfect replica of innocence incarnate, actually.
The kind-hearted Detective Prince even makes a half assed effort to look for the glasses, albeit by trying to kick it out of range with his foot. Accidentally, of course. The mysterious bath water current is beyond his control.
Maruki finds his glasses, Akechi settles down and back into his spot. Ever the vision of compliance and calm.]
Oh, I could stay here for hours, if given the opportunity. Even when I get dizzy, it's still enjoyable and I find it difficult to leave. I'm able to outlast anyone in a bath. That's not me bragging, of course. Just a statement.
[That touch of heat stroke - he loves it.
And he's on the verge of it now with that ever familiar world churning sensation, heart pounding rapidly against in his ribs - it's the best. He sinks back down until his shoulders are submerged, mimicking Maruki's own posture. ]
You're welcome to leave when you're finished. I'll likely stay a bit longer.
The kind-hearted Detective Prince even makes a half assed effort to look for the glasses, albeit by trying to kick it out of range with his foot. Accidentally, of course. The mysterious bath water current is beyond his control.
Maruki finds his glasses, Akechi settles down and back into his spot. Ever the vision of compliance and calm.]
Oh, I could stay here for hours, if given the opportunity. Even when I get dizzy, it's still enjoyable and I find it difficult to leave. I'm able to outlast anyone in a bath. That's not me bragging, of course. Just a statement.
[That touch of heat stroke - he loves it.
And he's on the verge of it now with that ever familiar world churning sensation, heart pounding rapidly against in his ribs - it's the best. He sinks back down until his shoulders are submerged, mimicking Maruki's own posture. ]
You're welcome to leave when you're finished. I'll likely stay a bit longer.
[ God, Akechi is such a little shit.
He's also the closest friend Maruki has had in long, long years.
He laughs, shakes his head, relaxes even further into the water until it laps at his nape, the hair there gently curling as it tries to dry. ]
No, I'll stay until you're ready. It's a welcome break after that nightmare.
[ The Forest of Dreams and two weeks spent in and out of that goddamn lake, or the recounting they just went through? Both, maybe. Not even Maruki is sure. He only knows what he feels more relaxed than he has since arriving in Somnius – since long before then, probably – and won't see it end too soon. The dizzy heat is satisfying when he closes his eyes and tips his head back against the ledge of the pool, resting it there, face upturned toward the rafters. ]
Akechi.
[ Quieter, more serious than the way they just sniped at one another. Not so much so as to drop them back into the depths they just pulled one another out of, but close. ]
In the future, if you eventually feel like telling me your overall plan, I'd like to hear it.
[ He can't imagine what it might be, yet he can't imagine that he'll disagree with it. ]
He's also the closest friend Maruki has had in long, long years.
He laughs, shakes his head, relaxes even further into the water until it laps at his nape, the hair there gently curling as it tries to dry. ]
No, I'll stay until you're ready. It's a welcome break after that nightmare.
[ The Forest of Dreams and two weeks spent in and out of that goddamn lake, or the recounting they just went through? Both, maybe. Not even Maruki is sure. He only knows what he feels more relaxed than he has since arriving in Somnius – since long before then, probably – and won't see it end too soon. The dizzy heat is satisfying when he closes his eyes and tips his head back against the ledge of the pool, resting it there, face upturned toward the rafters. ]
Akechi.
[ Quieter, more serious than the way they just sniped at one another. Not so much so as to drop them back into the depths they just pulled one another out of, but close. ]
In the future, if you eventually feel like telling me your overall plan, I'd like to hear it.
[ He can't imagine what it might be, yet he can't imagine that he'll disagree with it. ]
Edited 2024-06-27 04:59 (UTC)
[It's impossible. The delineation between what can and can't be said as clear as the line between water and person.
But the words sit on his lips, for a moment. In the way they used to when Joker would perch next to him, the silence a string of tension tugging him back together and relief ripping him apart.
In the wake of shared secrets, the request only ignites a small flare in him. One he can't fully associate with anger. The goal is his - only his. A spark of light in a dark room, forgotten by another temporary family. An idea that filled his empty bag, when he was inevitably left alone outside, waiting for a social worker to pick him up. It's what he fought for. Killed for. A piece of his heart no one can rip away from him because it was, and will only ever, belong to him.
His hands move aimlessly under the water, making small currents with wiggling fingers.
It's not like Xie Lian's meddling. A man who claims to know him, it's-
Someone that knows him now, to the basest extent another human being is allowed.]
If you're not busy during the first of the year, will you come to the shrine with me? I haven't gone since I was a child.
[A final moment, a small chance - a part of his brain floundering at the request. Baffling to his own spirit, as it must be to hear.
Because Maruki will find out.
A missing Detective Prince, whether reported through media or Maruki's own missed texts, combined with the sudden death of a prime minister, after that scum's sins are revealed to the world-
After the connection of both to the murders, mental shutdowns, psychotic breaks, a phantom thief disposed under mysterious circumstances, and cognitive world are clear-
Maruki will know what his plan was, if he's still alive. If Akechi can time the slot of the final puzzle piece just right, to ensure his success and the life of someone he could give two shits about.
But he owes him for the food, the time spent together, enthrallment wrangling and their eventual escape. He owes him a singular attempt to stop the inevitable and nothing more. ]
I'll be swarmed by fans if I go alone.
But the words sit on his lips, for a moment. In the way they used to when Joker would perch next to him, the silence a string of tension tugging him back together and relief ripping him apart.
In the wake of shared secrets, the request only ignites a small flare in him. One he can't fully associate with anger. The goal is his - only his. A spark of light in a dark room, forgotten by another temporary family. An idea that filled his empty bag, when he was inevitably left alone outside, waiting for a social worker to pick him up. It's what he fought for. Killed for. A piece of his heart no one can rip away from him because it was, and will only ever, belong to him.
His hands move aimlessly under the water, making small currents with wiggling fingers.
It's not like Xie Lian's meddling. A man who claims to know him, it's-
Someone that knows him now, to the basest extent another human being is allowed.]
If you're not busy during the first of the year, will you come to the shrine with me? I haven't gone since I was a child.
[A final moment, a small chance - a part of his brain floundering at the request. Baffling to his own spirit, as it must be to hear.
Because Maruki will find out.
A missing Detective Prince, whether reported through media or Maruki's own missed texts, combined with the sudden death of a prime minister, after that scum's sins are revealed to the world-
After the connection of both to the murders, mental shutdowns, psychotic breaks, a phantom thief disposed under mysterious circumstances, and cognitive world are clear-
Maruki will know what his plan was, if he's still alive. If Akechi can time the slot of the final puzzle piece just right, to ensure his success and the life of someone he could give two shits about.
But he owes him for the food, the time spent together, enthrallment wrangling and their eventual escape. He owes him a singular attempt to stop the inevitable and nothing more. ]
I'll be swarmed by fans if I go alone.
Edited 2024-06-27 14:14 (UTC)
[ There are no non-sequitors in conversations with Akechi. There is always a thread of logic connecting his shifts in topics – only sometimes it's fishing wire, invisible to the naked eye, pulled taut by some unseen hand.
Maruki considers the implication between his prompt and Akechi's response. What it might mean as an oblique answer. He'll be considering it for a very long time.
But the invitation itself, he doesn't need to think twice about. ]
Oh? Sure, I'd be happy to have someone to go with again.
[ Simple, sincere. He really does mean it.
Their overall goals might be shrouded from one another, but at the moment there is one shared: To leave this place, to rip through the layers of cognitive plane after cognitive plane until they can return to their own reality. Everything they do here is in service of that, and is shared with one another in a mutual interest to see their plan succeed.
Maruki has thought several times over the past months that it's probably a stupid, vanishing hope that this strange friendship might continue once they achieve their goal. Akechi has his celebrity image to maintain. A job as a detective. Surely a path laid out for university. Their paths would never have crossed without the manipulative intervention of Somnius. They've both vowed not to forget a single moment of this place, yet there would be no reason for them to carry on a bond forged because of it.
Objectively, he knows all of this. But when it's held up against the notion of returning home and letting their friendship be lost to the vagaries of life in Tokyo, it hurts. Plainly, and deeply. A blade slid between his ribs. It would hurt to let this sort of understanding, respect and trust drop away, nothing to replace it. It would hurt to lose Akechi.
The invitation has more meaning to it than he can discern at the moment. But if nothing else, it is at the very least confirmation that no, even after they slip between realities, their bond will not be lost.
Maruki smiles at him, nothing less than genuine in its warmth. ]
Thanks. It's a plan.
Maruki considers the implication between his prompt and Akechi's response. What it might mean as an oblique answer. He'll be considering it for a very long time.
But the invitation itself, he doesn't need to think twice about. ]
Oh? Sure, I'd be happy to have someone to go with again.
[ Simple, sincere. He really does mean it.
Their overall goals might be shrouded from one another, but at the moment there is one shared: To leave this place, to rip through the layers of cognitive plane after cognitive plane until they can return to their own reality. Everything they do here is in service of that, and is shared with one another in a mutual interest to see their plan succeed.
Maruki has thought several times over the past months that it's probably a stupid, vanishing hope that this strange friendship might continue once they achieve their goal. Akechi has his celebrity image to maintain. A job as a detective. Surely a path laid out for university. Their paths would never have crossed without the manipulative intervention of Somnius. They've both vowed not to forget a single moment of this place, yet there would be no reason for them to carry on a bond forged because of it.
Objectively, he knows all of this. But when it's held up against the notion of returning home and letting their friendship be lost to the vagaries of life in Tokyo, it hurts. Plainly, and deeply. A blade slid between his ribs. It would hurt to let this sort of understanding, respect and trust drop away, nothing to replace it. It would hurt to lose Akechi.
The invitation has more meaning to it than he can discern at the moment. But if nothing else, it is at the very least confirmation that no, even after they slip between realities, their bond will not be lost.
Maruki smiles at him, nothing less than genuine in its warmth. ]
Thanks. It's a plan.
Right.
[Spoken with a confidence not meant for this request, it's-
Unfortunate he can't discern if the woozy sensation that follows comes from the heat or the impossible task before him.
Whether he succeeds or fails - there's only one goal that's overarching and necessary. If Maruki dies, when Akechi dies - none of it matters as long as Shido's throat is slit in some revolting office.]
[Spoken with a confidence not meant for this request, it's-
Unfortunate he can't discern if the woozy sensation that follows comes from the heat or the impossible task before him.
Whether he succeeds or fails - there's only one goal that's overarching and necessary. If Maruki dies, when Akechi dies - none of it matters as long as Shido's throat is slit in some revolting office.]
he did.
[ it was weird. ]
i like the ones with fish. the fatty tuna. crab.
[ it was weird. ]
i like the ones with fish. the fatty tuna. crab.
he said youre a good cook.
and i like shrimp too.
and i like shrimp too.
[ HEART WARMED. Mamaruki wins!! ]
Okay, so fatty tuna, crab, any other fish, and shrimp.
I'm sensing a theme, which is: All sushi. Any kind.
You have to promise to give me honest feedback though! I really do want to get better.
Okay, so fatty tuna, crab, any other fish, and shrimp.
I'm sensing a theme, which is: All sushi. Any kind.
You have to promise to give me honest feedback though! I really do want to get better.
Edited 2024-06-26 01:17 (UTC)
Any kind. Telling someone something they aren't ready to hear and upsetting them, for example. Or being too honest about something that perhaps should be softened with a lie.
I'm just curious. I'm not sure if Akechi-kun told you, but I'm a counselor. I talk to people here all the time, and I wouldn't call many of them particularly honest, so it's interesting to chat with someone who is.
I'm just curious. I'm not sure if Akechi-kun told you, but I'm a counselor. I talk to people here all the time, and I wouldn't call many of them particularly honest, so it's interesting to chat with someone who is.
i dont know what that is. sounds boring. why do you have a boring job.
and if i got into trouble i wouldnt ask for help.
and if i got into trouble i wouldnt ask for help.
you need better joys. like food. or dancing.
and i dont have a job.
and i dont have a job.
did you get a job because youre old and no one talks to you anymore.
[ She really does say what's on her mind! It's refreshing. ]
No, I got a job because I believe the service I provide can help people in Somnius, and while I'm here, I'd like to be useful. And because I'm not used to not working, frankly - before my business was established, I had no idea what to do with so much leisure time.
No, I got a job because I believe the service I provide can help people in Somnius, and while I'm here, I'd like to be useful. And because I'm not used to not working, frankly - before my business was established, I had no idea what to do with so much leisure time.
so you dont know how to be a person anymore so you hang out with other people to be more person.
do you?
you said you dont have much in your life outside of your job.
you said you dont have much in your life outside of your job.
I didn't say that. I said that when I first arrived here, before I had my business established and had no routine, I wasn't sure what to do with my time. It can be difficult going from the very structured life of a working professional to... a guy in a rural town with no wifi.
It's possible we come from very different realities, so this may not make sense to you. What was your reality like?
It's possible we come from very different realities, so this may not make sense to you. What was your reality like?
its the same as this place. what you call the labyrinth is just a dungeon. there's a dungeon lord who manipulates stuff. the power behind him will grant a wish.
monsters are the same too.
monsters are the same too.
[ well. she's not sure about that. ]
you should be less weak then.
do exercises.
you should be less weak then.
do exercises.
what is hiking!!
no do things like learn how to use a sword!
no do things like learn how to use a sword!
A sword!? No, I'm not going to do that. Although you wouldn't be the first to suggest it.
Ah, hiking is... You've seen the huge cliff here, right? Hiking is humans go out of their way to climb cliffs and mountains like that. Just for the exercise and to enjoy the view. It sounds a little silly when explained like that, but...
Ah, hiking is... You've seen the huge cliff here, right? Hiking is humans go out of their way to climb cliffs and mountains like that. Just for the exercise and to enjoy the view. It sounds a little silly when explained like that, but...
im also human. half anyway.
so you climb just to look at things?
so you climb just to look at things?
Ah, I wasn't sure. What's the other half, if I can ask?
And yes, pretty much. The view from the cliff is beautiful, especially at night. I recommend it. It's not an easy hike, though...
[ it probably is for someone more in shape, but Maruki is an indoor kid to the bone. ]
And yes, pretty much. The view from the cliff is beautiful, especially at night. I recommend it. It's not an easy hike, though...
[ it probably is for someone more in shape, but Maruki is an indoor kid to the bone. ]
a monster.
thats why i look this way.
and i can climb anything. its easy. because im strong.
thats why i look this way.
and i can climb anything. its easy. because im strong.
[ well. as long as he's not making fun of her. ]
i just dont see the point. thats all.
i just dont see the point. thats all.
youre making a big deal out of it.
and thats fine. sure.
and thats fine. sure.
[ well. she's not turning down free food. ]
does he want to see me?
does he want to see me?
[A couple of days later, Eren arrives at Castle Vash the same time he'd normally show up at Eyn Sof. Maruki likes Jean's stew, mundane as stew is, so Eren asked him to make that today. It's a wonder Jean still does anything for him at all, considering what an asshole he's been, but the Hell shows no sign of stopping, so...Small blessings.
[It feels weird to knock. He doesn't at the office. He wonders idly if Akechi is somewhere inside. He should have told Maruki he wanted to talk with him alone.
[But this is just a friendly meeting. So, he knocks.]
[It feels weird to knock. He doesn't at the office. He wonders idly if Akechi is somewhere inside. He should have told Maruki he wanted to talk with him alone.
[But this is just a friendly meeting. So, he knocks.]
[ Despite their previous conversation and a lovely afternoon of unskippable trauma cutscenes, Maruki has been looking forward to seeing Eren again. Everything that happened in the Forest of Dreams was a nightmare. A little normalcy wouldn't go amiss.
And he really has missed their daily lunches. So it's nice. It'll be nice.
Unless he brings up creating realities. Then it won't be nice for Maruki, but he's relatively certain that he's fortified his spirit enough to handle it.
Eren is in luck, though – the castle is empty. It usually is during the afternoon, something Maruki has actually been enjoying during his forced downtime. Akechi has his routine out in the town, Vash avoids them all if at all possible, and Zazie keeps to themself so much that it's actually impossible to be certain if they're home or not.
Like every other afternoon so far, he has all the windows open, letting in as much sunlight and fresh air as possible after such a dark, dismal time. Every room has been cleaned within an inch of its life, reorganized and touched up. He has a fresh pot of coffee going and a windchime pattering gently in the breeze through the kitchen and–
Oh, he looks like shit. Just absolutely wrecked with exhaustion still. The break is very, very necessary.
But he's smiling so broadly when Eren shows up, gesturing him in like a proud host. ]
Ah, you're a sight for sore eyes! Come on in, it's far too quiet here.
And he really has missed their daily lunches. So it's nice. It'll be nice.
Unless he brings up creating realities. Then it won't be nice for Maruki, but he's relatively certain that he's fortified his spirit enough to handle it.
Eren is in luck, though – the castle is empty. It usually is during the afternoon, something Maruki has actually been enjoying during his forced downtime. Akechi has his routine out in the town, Vash avoids them all if at all possible, and Zazie keeps to themself so much that it's actually impossible to be certain if they're home or not.
Like every other afternoon so far, he has all the windows open, letting in as much sunlight and fresh air as possible after such a dark, dismal time. Every room has been cleaned within an inch of its life, reorganized and touched up. He has a fresh pot of coffee going and a windchime pattering gently in the breeze through the kitchen and–
Oh, he looks like shit. Just absolutely wrecked with exhaustion still. The break is very, very necessary.
But he's smiling so broadly when Eren shows up, gesturing him in like a proud host. ]
Ah, you're a sight for sore eyes! Come on in, it's far too quiet here.
[Eren doesn't expect to make things much more lively, but he's glad at the impression that there isn't anyone else around to bother them. As he passes through the door, he mutters, idle, dispassionate:] You really sound like an old man when you say that.
Well, I am an old man, I've told you that many times before. I'm glad you're beginning to believe it.
[ Eren's demeanor is... concerning. He hadn't been naive enough to assume it would pass quickly, but it still hurts to see.
Maruki rocks on the balls of his feet, hands tucked neatly into his pockets.
It's also lucky that Eren was so preoccupied during those weeks. Maruki's gotten away with his Mysteriously Extremely Healed Injuries nicely. ]
Would you like a cup of coffee? We could also hang out outside, Vash has a nice garden he's been working on when he's around...
[ Eren's demeanor is... concerning. He hadn't been naive enough to assume it would pass quickly, but it still hurts to see.
Maruki rocks on the balls of his feet, hands tucked neatly into his pockets.
It's also lucky that Eren was so preoccupied during those weeks. Maruki's gotten away with his Mysteriously Extremely Healed Injuries nicely. ]
Would you like a cup of coffee? We could also hang out outside, Vash has a nice garden he's been working on when he's around...
[ Well, hopefully it is. He and Akechi split a pot every morning despite deeming it Fine, But It's Not LeBlanc, so it's impossible to tell if it's good or not.
Regardless! Two cups coming right up. He always takes his black with sugar and looks at Eren curiously, trying to gauge, but he looks impassive as ever. Well, you can't go wrong with a splash of milk and a little sugar. If Eren hates it, he's welcome to make his own once Maruki comes back around to hand it to him–
And it's strange, for a moment, being back by the kitchen bar with him. Where Eren begged to be released from this hell.
Good thing Maruki's not thinking about it! No brain tentacle enrichment today. ]
I won't ask how you've been doing, but have you at least gotten back into your routine?
Regardless! Two cups coming right up. He always takes his black with sugar and looks at Eren curiously, trying to gauge, but he looks impassive as ever. Well, you can't go wrong with a splash of milk and a little sugar. If Eren hates it, he's welcome to make his own once Maruki comes back around to hand it to him–
And it's strange, for a moment, being back by the kitchen bar with him. Where Eren begged to be released from this hell.
Good thing Maruki's not thinking about it! No brain tentacle enrichment today. ]
I won't ask how you've been doing, but have you at least gotten back into your routine?
[Eren remembers that conversation, too. He remembers everything from the last two weeks, just...not all at once. Sometimes, he's not sure whose memories he's remembering. He hasn't really gotten used to it.
[Eren takes the coffee, holding the mug in his hands for a few minutes. The ceramic burns his hands, but not enough to make them steam.]
More or less.
If you look around, it all seems the same again. [No lakes of lava or goo dripping from trees, even...
[He kind of sounds like he isn't really talking to anyone.
[Sips the coffee. The milk tastes good. He'd never ask for it. It's a little sweet too.]
We didn't have coffee on Paradis. [pair-a-dee] I think...my brother liked it. [In ways, he barely remembers Zeke; in ways, he knows him more intimately than he was ever meant to. He sees him through their father's eyes.]
[Eren takes the coffee, holding the mug in his hands for a few minutes. The ceramic burns his hands, but not enough to make them steam.]
More or less.
If you look around, it all seems the same again. [No lakes of lava or goo dripping from trees, even...
[He kind of sounds like he isn't really talking to anyone.
[Sips the coffee. The milk tastes good. He'd never ask for it. It's a little sweet too.]
We didn't have coffee on Paradis. [pair-a-dee] I think...my brother liked it. [In ways, he barely remembers Zeke; in ways, he knows him more intimately than he was ever meant to. He sees him through their father's eyes.]
[ Maruki flops down onto one of the couches with his coffee – he is infinitely more relaxed than Eren's likely to have seen him. Not because things are so great (BOY THEY ARE NOT GREAT) but just because... he's home. He's with a friend. He isn't in his office, or in counselor mode, or being called on for a crisis. He's just curling his legs underneath him and burrowing into the corner of the cushions as he listens to Eren.
Then– ]
Wait, what? You didn't tell me that you had a brother.
Then– ]
Wait, what? You didn't tell me that you had a brother.
Yeah...[Eren frowns a little as he moves toward a chair nearby, but it's more thoughtful - focused, really - than anything.]
I guess I've never technically met him. I do in my future.
He grew up in Marley, the nation across the sea. They had coffee there. I...can almost remember drinking it with him, I think.
[Still, that focused expression. Eren feels no fondness for Zeke; outright hatred, actually, and it's not absent now, but trying to pin down the memory itself is...distracting enough that it keeps him disarmed to the thought.]
I guess I've never technically met him. I do in my future.
He grew up in Marley, the nation across the sea. They had coffee there. I...can almost remember drinking it with him, I think.
[Still, that focused expression. Eren feels no fondness for Zeke; outright hatred, actually, and it's not absent now, but trying to pin down the memory itself is...distracting enough that it keeps him disarmed to the thought.]
[ Ah, one of Those Things. Eren's life is anything but simple. Should have known it was a brother from a future he hasn't yet lived. Why would it be anything else?
Maruki watches that expression closely over his coffee cup. He's determined not to enter counselor mode, but it needs to be said. As Eren's friend, not as his counselor, but said all the same. ]
It must be tremendously difficult to have so many scrambled memories in your head.
Maruki watches that expression closely over his coffee cup. He's determined not to enter counselor mode, but it needs to be said. As Eren's friend, not as his counselor, but said all the same. ]
It must be tremendously difficult to have so many scrambled memories in your head.
[Memories? How does Maruki--
[No, they...they talked about this. How much? Eren doesn't remember.]
Since...I've had my abilities back - they were never there before, but now...not just mine...other people's too.
[Eren's grip tightens slightly on his mug. He's still glaring into it like he can't quite figure out what's inside.]
I can see my father's memories. Only sometimes. I see Zeke. My brother. [Some anger, at that, though it's still muted; complex.]
That place I told you about...Zeke was there too. I couldn't use that power without him, so...
[Well. He sips his coffee. It doesn't taste as good as it did a few minutes ago.]
Anyway...
I don't know why I'm thinking of that now.
[No, they...they talked about this. How much? Eren doesn't remember.]
Since...I've had my abilities back - they were never there before, but now...not just mine...other people's too.
[Eren's grip tightens slightly on his mug. He's still glaring into it like he can't quite figure out what's inside.]
I can see my father's memories. Only sometimes. I see Zeke. My brother. [Some anger, at that, though it's still muted; complex.]
That place I told you about...Zeke was there too. I couldn't use that power without him, so...
[Well. He sips his coffee. It doesn't taste as good as it did a few minutes ago.]
Anyway...
I don't know why I'm thinking of that now.
The memories of others too, huh...
[ What a mess. He already had enough to contend with just from witnessing his own future. Maruki scratches at his forehead and sighs. ]
It's okay, we don't have to talk about it. I just wanted you to know– I can tell that you're doing your best right now with a truly difficult situation.
[ On multiple levels. Mikasa leaving, dying, experiencing Inferna, regaining his powers and all that entails. ]
You're doing well, Eren.
[ What a mess. He already had enough to contend with just from witnessing his own future. Maruki scratches at his forehead and sighs. ]
It's okay, we don't have to talk about it. I just wanted you to know– I can tell that you're doing your best right now with a truly difficult situation.
[ On multiple levels. Mikasa leaving, dying, experiencing Inferna, regaining his powers and all that entails. ]
You're doing well, Eren.
[Before, when Eren entered the Labyrinth, and experienced the end, he came back a shell. That's what he was expecting this time. It's like that, here and there; not enough. He misses the feeling of being empty. All Maruki says is, "You're doing well," and Eren feels his lip tremble, his eyes well up.
[He's not doing well. He's not doing well at all. And everyone can tell.]
Sorry. [He stands up, starts to move toward the kitchen, but lags. His mouth opens and closes, but the shape is tight; he doesn't want to start crying - of course, he already is.] I don't think...I should be here...on your break. I can't...
Stop, so. I'll just. See you later.
[Maruki looks so tired. Eren will make it worse. He can't fucking stop himself.]
[He's not doing well. He's not doing well at all. And everyone can tell.]
Sorry. [He stands up, starts to move toward the kitchen, but lags. His mouth opens and closes, but the shape is tight; he doesn't want to start crying - of course, he already is.] I don't think...I should be here...on your break. I can't...
Stop, so. I'll just. See you later.
[Maruki looks so tired. Eren will make it worse. He can't fucking stop himself.]
[ Maruki doesn't get up from the sofa. Just watches him, heart aching, and makes a decision. ]
Please stay.
[ It isn't begging or pleading, despite the words. Just a simple, firm request. ]
I understand why you think you have to go, but I'm not counseling you right now, Eren. I'm here as your friend. You're not a burden. So.
[ He gestures to the other sofa across from his. It's where Eren slept that night that he crashed at the castle. ]
Stay. Talk to me.
Please stay.
[ It isn't begging or pleading, despite the words. Just a simple, firm request. ]
I understand why you think you have to go, but I'm not counseling you right now, Eren. I'm here as your friend. You're not a burden. So.
[ He gestures to the other sofa across from his. It's where Eren slept that night that he crashed at the castle. ]
Stay. Talk to me.
[Eren makes some sound he doesn't recognize. His hand is gripping his shirt above his heart, squeezing. He looks like he wants to run, again, like he did that night, but it's different; far too self-aware.]
It's too much. Me. It's...killing everyone, I have to...just...
I...[He thinks of that night in the club, with Dolph.] I-I don't know...["It's okay to not know," but it wasn't.
[Eren doesn't remember sitting on the couch again. He's still grabbing his heart. He folds in on himself.]
I don't know...what else I can do...
It's too much. Me. It's...killing everyone, I have to...just...
I...[He thinks of that night in the club, with Dolph.] I-I don't know...["It's okay to not know," but it wasn't.
[Eren doesn't remember sitting on the couch again. He's still grabbing his heart. He folds in on himself.]
I don't know...what else I can do...
[ Huh.
Maruki's brows draw down. ]
Just breathe for a moment. What's killing everyone?
[ Eren has no shortage of people in Somnius who are close to him. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility to imagine that they aren't all handling this change in him well.
But that ought not be his primary concern right now. Eren has been through a lot. His priority should be dealing with his own feelings, not worrying about how others are perceiving them.
The pot and the kettle, already well-acquainted, may begin calling each other something soon. ]
Maruki's brows draw down. ]
Just breathe for a moment. What's killing everyone?
[ Eren has no shortage of people in Somnius who are close to him. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility to imagine that they aren't all handling this change in him well.
But that ought not be his primary concern right now. Eren has been through a lot. His priority should be dealing with his own feelings, not worrying about how others are perceiving them.
The pot and the kettle, already well-acquainted, may begin calling each other something soon. ]
[Always with the breathing...
[Eren breathes. His knees are up by his chest now, and he lays his arms across them, resting his head on its side with his cheek pressed up against his arm.
[It's pitiful.]
Ever since I got here...it seems like something...is always changing my life for good. It keeps happening. [His next few words come out small, squeezed.] It won't stop...
And everyone...everyone...just tells me I have to...[Abrupt frustration. Eren makes a sharp sound, scrubbing his hands roughly through his hair.] I don't know what they want me to do!
Live a life, but that's not enough. Going to work and training and fighting the world aren't enough. So, what? I have to wake up every day - I have to live every day - and I also have to smile about it? I can't...
[He's sunk in on himself again, hiding his face in his arms.]
I know...that all I do...is bring people down...
Worse. I know. I know, but I can't...I can't...[He struggles for words. There are none. He doesn't even know what he's failing to do. He just is.
[Eventually, he finds them - small, high, barely forced out, muffled severely by his arm. No one could blame Maruki for struggling to understand.] Even her...all she wanted was my happiness...but I couldn't...I can't...
[Eren breathes. His knees are up by his chest now, and he lays his arms across them, resting his head on its side with his cheek pressed up against his arm.
[It's pitiful.]
Ever since I got here...it seems like something...is always changing my life for good. It keeps happening. [His next few words come out small, squeezed.] It won't stop...
And everyone...everyone...just tells me I have to...[Abrupt frustration. Eren makes a sharp sound, scrubbing his hands roughly through his hair.] I don't know what they want me to do!
Live a life, but that's not enough. Going to work and training and fighting the world aren't enough. So, what? I have to wake up every day - I have to live every day - and I also have to smile about it? I can't...
[He's sunk in on himself again, hiding his face in his arms.]
I know...that all I do...is bring people down...
Worse. I know. I know, but I can't...I can't...[He struggles for words. There are none. He doesn't even know what he's failing to do. He just is.
[Eventually, he finds them - small, high, barely forced out, muffled severely by his arm. No one could blame Maruki for struggling to understand.] Even her...all she wanted was my happiness...but I couldn't...I can't...
Edited 2024-06-26 10:14 (UTC)
[ It's as he thought, and worse.
Maruki sits up straighter on the couch, holds the mug between both palms now that it's cooled some. Listens to Eren, the words ripping out of him, catching on brambles of pain on the way up.
He waits it out, every miserable word, and then says what must be said first. ]
You don't always bring people down. You've made my life better for knowing you, and not just when you're in a good mood.
[ There is something to be said for the strange alchemy his soul has undergone in Somnius. The people he's met and the circumstances he's lived through have changed him irreparably, irrevocably. He is a stronger man than he was by far when he first awoke in that garden, and it isn't because he's learned how to better ignore or push past his pain. Far from it.
Quietly, he adds: ]
You have value beyond the image that people want you to project.
[ Whatever that image may be. A competent soldier, a hard worker, a loving partner– even when one fails to live up to those ideals, one still has worth.
But the most important part is what he says last, a simple permission given in a rhetorical question asked. ]
Why should you force yourself to smile when you're hurting?
Maruki sits up straighter on the couch, holds the mug between both palms now that it's cooled some. Listens to Eren, the words ripping out of him, catching on brambles of pain on the way up.
He waits it out, every miserable word, and then says what must be said first. ]
You don't always bring people down. You've made my life better for knowing you, and not just when you're in a good mood.
[ There is something to be said for the strange alchemy his soul has undergone in Somnius. The people he's met and the circumstances he's lived through have changed him irreparably, irrevocably. He is a stronger man than he was by far when he first awoke in that garden, and it isn't because he's learned how to better ignore or push past his pain. Far from it.
Quietly, he adds: ]
You have value beyond the image that people want you to project.
[ Whatever that image may be. A competent soldier, a hard worker, a loving partner– even when one fails to live up to those ideals, one still has worth.
But the most important part is what he says last, a simple permission given in a rhetorical question asked. ]
Why should you force yourself to smile when you're hurting?
[Eren shrugs. It's small. There's no frustration to it. He just doesn't have the answer.]
I'm always...[Abruptly, exhaustion overtakes his tone.]...hurting.
[Shit...] There was...this time...
I was just talking to someone. Someone important to me. She thought...I was putting on some act. I tried to explain. I told her...I felt emptiness. That dying was a relief.
It was just after I lived my death. I hadn't told anyone that. I didn't mean to make her upset.
She ran off. We weren't the same, for a while, after that. I understand why, now, but when it happened...I felt...[Emotion catches up with him. He chews on air, throat making undignified little sounds as he struggles.
[He can't seem to finish his thought. He lands on another one.]
You...listen...to me. You don't...get upset...
You don't...run...
I'm always...[Abruptly, exhaustion overtakes his tone.]...hurting.
[Shit...] There was...this time...
I was just talking to someone. Someone important to me. She thought...I was putting on some act. I tried to explain. I told her...I felt emptiness. That dying was a relief.
It was just after I lived my death. I hadn't told anyone that. I didn't mean to make her upset.
She ran off. We weren't the same, for a while, after that. I understand why, now, but when it happened...I felt...[Emotion catches up with him. He chews on air, throat making undignified little sounds as he struggles.
[He can't seem to finish his thought. He lands on another one.]
You...listen...to me. You don't...get upset...
You don't...run...
[ The thing is, it's understandable. Whoever he was talking to likely hurt to hear a friend say that about themselves – maybe even had pain in her own past related to the death of a friend and was reminded of that. Her reactions were valid for her, even if they hurt Eren.
But he's focusing on Eren right now.
He listens, doesn't get upset, doesn't run.
It's his job, of course. What kind of counselor would he be if he ran from the frightening, the difficult, the painful?
But it's more than that.
Maruki tips his head thoughtfully. Considers Eren, then his words.
A single thumping heartbeat in his chest in warning, but it doesn't kick up its pace. ]
I don't know if you spent any time down at the lake during all of that, but I was there every day. Helping the enthralled or just allowing people a space to recuperate. It showed a memory to anyone who touched the water.
[ He rubs a thumb over the warm ceramic of the mug, calm. ]
I've told you about my fiancée – I saw her there. One of our happiest memories together.
[ His smile for Eren then is nothing less than pained. ]
It hurt. Badly. I saw it dozens of times, and it always hurt. After the first time I saw her, I wanted to run away and never return.
[ And then a shrug. ]
But I did. Again and again. Even though it never stopped hurting. I can't even say I was grateful to have seen her at all. I still don't know if I am or not. But... I do know that I'm stronger for having faced that pain head-on.
[ A dizzying thing to admit. Surreal. Eren can't possibly know the significance of that from his story alone, but he ties it back around as neatly as he can. ]
You're always hurting. If I turned away from you because of that, it would only weaken us both.
[ And finally, after a long pause. Care taken to sound gentle, not accusatory toward anyone. ]
You should be given the grace to feel that pain without putting pressure on yourself to keep it together for the sake of your friends.
But he's focusing on Eren right now.
He listens, doesn't get upset, doesn't run.
It's his job, of course. What kind of counselor would he be if he ran from the frightening, the difficult, the painful?
But it's more than that.
Maruki tips his head thoughtfully. Considers Eren, then his words.
A single thumping heartbeat in his chest in warning, but it doesn't kick up its pace. ]
I don't know if you spent any time down at the lake during all of that, but I was there every day. Helping the enthralled or just allowing people a space to recuperate. It showed a memory to anyone who touched the water.
[ He rubs a thumb over the warm ceramic of the mug, calm. ]
I've told you about my fiancée – I saw her there. One of our happiest memories together.
[ His smile for Eren then is nothing less than pained. ]
It hurt. Badly. I saw it dozens of times, and it always hurt. After the first time I saw her, I wanted to run away and never return.
[ And then a shrug. ]
But I did. Again and again. Even though it never stopped hurting. I can't even say I was grateful to have seen her at all. I still don't know if I am or not. But... I do know that I'm stronger for having faced that pain head-on.
[ A dizzying thing to admit. Surreal. Eren can't possibly know the significance of that from his story alone, but he ties it back around as neatly as he can. ]
You're always hurting. If I turned away from you because of that, it would only weaken us both.
[ And finally, after a long pause. Care taken to sound gentle, not accusatory toward anyone. ]
You should be given the grace to feel that pain without putting pressure on yourself to keep it together for the sake of your friends.
[The message is somewhat lost, or maybe just impossible. As Maruki describes his experience, Eren’s eyes gradually widen, lips parting. Maruki finishes, and that expression cracks into pure devastation. He sharply hangs his head, fists balling up on his knees.]
That…
That, exactly…
In Inferna, I saw…[God, but this pain. Three letters slice the roof of his mouth as they leave it. He practically wheezes it.]…her…
Us. Over…and over…
That…
That, exactly…
In Inferna, I saw…[God, but this pain. Three letters slice the roof of his mouth as they leave it. He practically wheezes it.]…her…
Us. Over…and over…
Ah. I see.
[ He had wondered, admittedly, what it would be like for Eren.
It makes sense. Something like that might be hell for him too. ]
I'm sorry. I know how hard that was for you.
[ And then: That grace, extended. ]
If you need to just... let yourself sit with that, Eren, you can here. I won't rush you through it.
[ A pause, a long drink of coffee. A few more words spoken without looking at Eren, for himself just as much. ]
It's a terrible grief, I know. Don't run from it.
[ He had wondered, admittedly, what it would be like for Eren.
It makes sense. Something like that might be hell for him too. ]
I'm sorry. I know how hard that was for you.
[ And then: That grace, extended. ]
If you need to just... let yourself sit with that, Eren, you can here. I won't rush you through it.
[ A pause, a long drink of coffee. A few more words spoken without looking at Eren, for himself just as much. ]
It's a terrible grief, I know. Don't run from it.
[Maruki understands. Eren thinks, when Maruki looked at his fiancé, he saw the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s gone forever. Eren hears a small sound in his own throat.
[He sets down his mug and crosses the room.
[He stoops; puts his arms around Maruki’s shoulders and pulls him in - just a little. It’s awkward and strange - not typical for Eren - but…
[Maruki understands. It’s not fucking fair.]
Maruki…
I’m sorry.
[He sets down his mug and crosses the room.
[He stoops; puts his arms around Maruki’s shoulders and pulls him in - just a little. It’s awkward and strange - not typical for Eren - but…
[Maruki understands. It’s not fucking fair.]
Maruki…
I’m sorry.
[ If asked to place money on what might happen next, Maruki would never have bet on this.
His eyes go wide at the hug – stilted as it is in its execution, its intent is clear. A friend seeing their own pain reflected in a friend. A burden shared between two so it's less difficult to carry alone. Commiseration, compassion, empathy.
He's rarely on the receiving end of this.
Maruki shifts the mug to one hand so he can wrap the other arm around Eren's back, just as awkward in this position but necessary. His voice is tight in his throat. ]
Thanks. I'm sorry too, Eren. I wish neither of us knew this same pain.
[ And the things Maruki wishes– the things Eren wishes too– they can come true.
He shakes his head to force the thought away and laughs hollowly, a thumping palm against Eren's back. ]
His eyes go wide at the hug – stilted as it is in its execution, its intent is clear. A friend seeing their own pain reflected in a friend. A burden shared between two so it's less difficult to carry alone. Commiseration, compassion, empathy.
He's rarely on the receiving end of this.
Maruki shifts the mug to one hand so he can wrap the other arm around Eren's back, just as awkward in this position but necessary. His voice is tight in his throat. ]
Thanks. I'm sorry too, Eren. I wish neither of us knew this same pain.
[ And the things Maruki wishes– the things Eren wishes too– they can come true.
He shakes his head to force the thought away and laughs hollowly, a thumping palm against Eren's back. ]
Edited 2024-06-26 21:22 (UTC)
[He lets the embrace last a few moments.]
I wish that too…
[There’s a pat on the back. Eren can hear when a laugh is hollow. He straightens up, one hand hesitating on Maruki’s shoulder and giving a squeeze before he pulls it away.
[It drifts to a ring on a chain around his neck - Mikasa’s wedding ring. His fingers toy idly. He sits on the same couch as Maruki, this time.]
I think…you might be the only person I know who really understands.
[Jean won’t go home to much, but he’ll go home to Mikasa, at least.]
I wish that too…
[There’s a pat on the back. Eren can hear when a laugh is hollow. He straightens up, one hand hesitating on Maruki’s shoulder and giving a squeeze before he pulls it away.
[It drifts to a ring on a chain around his neck - Mikasa’s wedding ring. His fingers toy idly. He sits on the same couch as Maruki, this time.]
I think…you might be the only person I know who really understands.
[Jean won’t go home to much, but he’ll go home to Mikasa, at least.]
[ Maruki laughs again – there's life behind it this time, though it's still mirthless. ]
Well, I'm glad we have one another in this horrible boat, I suppose.
[ Maruki watches him fiddling with the ring and adjusts to sit back against the arm of the sofa, facing Eren fully, legs folded up in front of him.
He's been nothing but honest with Eren today. It might as well continue. ]
Until I saw her in that memory, I hadn't let myself feel my own pain over our loss. I spent more than five years hiding from it, ignoring it. And now... Well.
[ He gestures to all of himself, the obvious bone-deep exhaustion. ]
I'm paying the price. So my advice to you is to let yourself feel it now, even though it's terrible to do so. Don't force yourself to smile or be what others want you to be.
Well, I'm glad we have one another in this horrible boat, I suppose.
[ Maruki watches him fiddling with the ring and adjusts to sit back against the arm of the sofa, facing Eren fully, legs folded up in front of him.
He's been nothing but honest with Eren today. It might as well continue. ]
Until I saw her in that memory, I hadn't let myself feel my own pain over our loss. I spent more than five years hiding from it, ignoring it. And now... Well.
[ He gestures to all of himself, the obvious bone-deep exhaustion. ]
I'm paying the price. So my advice to you is to let yourself feel it now, even though it's terrible to do so. Don't force yourself to smile or be what others want you to be.
[Eren's hand drifts from the ring, back to his heart, fingers gripping at his shirt once again.
[He's heard the advice. It's...comforting enough, he supposes. Part of him is grateful - the part that can feel anything, dull and buried.
[But...]
I wish I could ignore it. All I feel is pain.
[He hasn't talked to anyone else about Mikasa. Not really. Thinking of her face, saying her name - it all feels worse than death. He told himself he would never speak of her again, but he can't do that. God! How could he ever do that?
[He should have done more. He should have said more. He should have told her.
[I love you, I love you, I love you. I always have. I always will. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.]
She...[He tries. He tries...]...isn't like anyone else. Me and her...[Eren and Mikasa, always side by side.] I could...never...describe it. I thought...I saw them all equally, but I was wrong...
[Losing Subaru didn't feel like this.
[He looks to Maruki.]
You get it, don't you? [Eren knows he does...]
[He's heard the advice. It's...comforting enough, he supposes. Part of him is grateful - the part that can feel anything, dull and buried.
[But...]
I wish I could ignore it. All I feel is pain.
[He hasn't talked to anyone else about Mikasa. Not really. Thinking of her face, saying her name - it all feels worse than death. He told himself he would never speak of her again, but he can't do that. God! How could he ever do that?
[He should have done more. He should have said more. He should have told her.
[I love you, I love you, I love you. I always have. I always will. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.]
She...[He tries. He tries...]...isn't like anyone else. Me and her...[Eren and Mikasa, always side by side.] I could...never...describe it. I thought...I saw them all equally, but I was wrong...
[Losing Subaru didn't feel like this.
[He looks to Maruki.]
You get it, don't you? [Eren knows he does...]
[ It's a difficult thing to explain. All he felt was pain too. Hourly, daily, for years. Covering that up with an incessant drive to overwork himself was the only thing he knew how to do, but it didn't mean he ever stopped hurting. It only festered the more he tried to deny it.
It won't be fixed with a week of rest. There is a rot inside Maruki that will probably never be fully rooted out. But standing in that grief is at least a place to start.
He listens quietly, reverently to Eren's words about Mikasa. Different from all the others, even though he loves them too. Maruki can imagine. He would never put himself in that position for exactly that reason. ]
I do get it.
[ Unfortunately is on the tip of his tongue, but he hesitates to say it.
That they both suffered is unfortunate, sure. But if he hadn't, who would be here to help Eren through it? Value in pain. Maruki is learning. ]
What I find myself thinking lately is that it will always have been worth it. No matter how much she or I suffered in the end, and no matter how much pain I'm in now. It was worth it to have someone in my life who was that special. Unlike anyone else, just as you said.
It won't be fixed with a week of rest. There is a rot inside Maruki that will probably never be fully rooted out. But standing in that grief is at least a place to start.
He listens quietly, reverently to Eren's words about Mikasa. Different from all the others, even though he loves them too. Maruki can imagine. He would never put himself in that position for exactly that reason. ]
I do get it.
[ Unfortunately is on the tip of his tongue, but he hesitates to say it.
That they both suffered is unfortunate, sure. But if he hadn't, who would be here to help Eren through it? Value in pain. Maruki is learning. ]
What I find myself thinking lately is that it will always have been worth it. No matter how much she or I suffered in the end, and no matter how much pain I'm in now. It was worth it to have someone in my life who was that special. Unlike anyone else, just as you said.
[It hits him like an ODM crash, thrust into the cold embrace of a stone wall. His mouth has fallen open, eyes wide and staring. He looks alive in the worst way - grief fills his eyes and pours over; he hasn't stopped crying since he got here, it feels like, but what's building feels like the warning before an explosion.
[A sob rips through him; he claps a hand over his mouth, body lurching. The hand comes away; he gasps, the breath knocked out of him, his words labored and airless.]
Of course it was. She...I...I...n-not for anything, I wouldn't...I wouldn't trade it. No. None of it. None--
O-oh, God. [He puts his head into his hands.
[He howls:] Oh, God, no!
[A sob rips through him; he claps a hand over his mouth, body lurching. The hand comes away; he gasps, the breath knocked out of him, his words labored and airless.]
Of course it was. She...I...I...n-not for anything, I wouldn't...I wouldn't trade it. No. None of it. None--
O-oh, God. [He puts his head into his hands.
[He howls:] Oh, God, no!
[ To his credit, Maruki doesn't startle.
He sees it coming, in that violent sob, in that struggle for breath. He recognizes it well.
And he fights back every urge to leap into crisis counselor mode to soothe it away. What did he just tell Eren? Whatever he needs to feel here, he ought to feel it. This can be at least one place where his emotions don't kill the people around him.
Not to say that Maruki's own beleaguered heart doesn't ache just as badly to see it. He remembers the worst of those first nights after the break-in, and then again after he lost Rumi for good; he remembers holding himself and crying out to nothing, no one.
He's here now to rectify that. Pay forward what should have been done for him. Make sure that Eren doesn't feel so alone as he sinks into this quicksand of grief.
Maruki sits up, places the quarter cup of coffee left onto the table between the two couches. He scoots closer on the couch, curls an arm around Eren's shoulders. His other hand wraps around one of Eren's forearms as he clutches at his head, gently anchoring.
Doesn't say anything. He's just there for it, steady at Eren's side as impossible grief rockets through him. ]
He sees it coming, in that violent sob, in that struggle for breath. He recognizes it well.
And he fights back every urge to leap into crisis counselor mode to soothe it away. What did he just tell Eren? Whatever he needs to feel here, he ought to feel it. This can be at least one place where his emotions don't kill the people around him.
Not to say that Maruki's own beleaguered heart doesn't ache just as badly to see it. He remembers the worst of those first nights after the break-in, and then again after he lost Rumi for good; he remembers holding himself and crying out to nothing, no one.
He's here now to rectify that. Pay forward what should have been done for him. Make sure that Eren doesn't feel so alone as he sinks into this quicksand of grief.
Maruki sits up, places the quarter cup of coffee left onto the table between the two couches. He scoots closer on the couch, curls an arm around Eren's shoulders. His other hand wraps around one of Eren's forearms as he clutches at his head, gently anchoring.
Doesn't say anything. He's just there for it, steady at Eren's side as impossible grief rockets through him. ]
[How can one put it, really? Eren grieves. It takes a long time; ten minutes, thirty, an hour - Eren doesn't know. Space and time fade away, but it isn't due to future or past memories, the junction between realities, where everything becomes some combination of fiction and reality.
[He's a ball on the couch, curling up tight, but anchored. His body sinks against Maruki, Eren's face still hidden in his arms. The sound is indescribable. It echoes off of off the castle walls - an animal, retching and screaming, howling and barking, choking on spit and snot, fighting off vomit.
[It has to end sometime. It does. He breathes heavy, eyes closed. He wants to sleep. His body is lead, rushing water in his ears.
[It takes a few more long minutes for him to start to push himself away from Maruki, feeling groggy and confused, like waking up in the middle of the night--
[...and finding nothing.
[He tries to wipe at his face with his sleeves. It's a goddamn mess. They never did eat that stew.
[Eren doesn't know what to say. "Thank you," isn't quite right; not enough, not fitting. Maruki understands. Who anchored him when the love of his life disappeared? Eren knows loneliness so intimately, all the worse for learning it quickly.
[He'd do anything for him.]
I'm-- [Not sorry. This is allowed.]...done.
[He's a ball on the couch, curling up tight, but anchored. His body sinks against Maruki, Eren's face still hidden in his arms. The sound is indescribable. It echoes off of off the castle walls - an animal, retching and screaming, howling and barking, choking on spit and snot, fighting off vomit.
[It has to end sometime. It does. He breathes heavy, eyes closed. He wants to sleep. His body is lead, rushing water in his ears.
[It takes a few more long minutes for him to start to push himself away from Maruki, feeling groggy and confused, like waking up in the middle of the night--
[...and finding nothing.
[He tries to wipe at his face with his sleeves. It's a goddamn mess. They never did eat that stew.
[Eren doesn't know what to say. "Thank you," isn't quite right; not enough, not fitting. Maruki understands. Who anchored him when the love of his life disappeared? Eren knows loneliness so intimately, all the worse for learning it quickly.
[He'd do anything for him.]
I'm-- [Not sorry. This is allowed.]...done.
[ That's the thing. Eren doesn't have to say anything at all.
But of course he does. Maruki understands; the impulse is only natural. He would feel it too.
A final pat to Eren's back before he gets up. ]
Stay there.
[ It takes a few minutes – the castle is large, and this isn't a counseling office. He doesn't have supplies onhand. He has to go upstairs to find a box of tissues, then back down to get a cup of water, then after a moment's consideration, back up to dig through the chest of drawers in his room.
Back down. Water set on the table. Tissues handed over for Eren to clean himself up. And then, when he's a bit more collected, two small plastic packages, a karepan and a cute turtle shaped melonpan. ]
I requested a bunch of snacks from my reality. You let me try some of your food from home, now I get to repay the favor. For later, whenever you feel like a treat.
[ He settles back onto the couch, looks at Eren fondly. ]
You can come to me any time about this. Seriously. I know how hard it is... and how it doesn't fade quickly.
But of course he does. Maruki understands; the impulse is only natural. He would feel it too.
A final pat to Eren's back before he gets up. ]
Stay there.
[ It takes a few minutes – the castle is large, and this isn't a counseling office. He doesn't have supplies onhand. He has to go upstairs to find a box of tissues, then back down to get a cup of water, then after a moment's consideration, back up to dig through the chest of drawers in his room.
Back down. Water set on the table. Tissues handed over for Eren to clean himself up. And then, when he's a bit more collected, two small plastic packages, a karepan and a cute turtle shaped melonpan. ]
I requested a bunch of snacks from my reality. You let me try some of your food from home, now I get to repay the favor. For later, whenever you feel like a treat.
[ He settles back onto the couch, looks at Eren fondly. ]
You can come to me any time about this. Seriously. I know how hard it is... and how it doesn't fade quickly.
[Eren cleans himself up. The water is cold, just like the booze Dolph handed him. He presses the glass to his cheek. It's still there when Maruki sets down the snacks and starts talking. Eren listens, watching him with that cool glass, water condensing on the outside.
[He hears Maruki, so he nods. The snacks remind him.]
I brought you food. You still haven't eaten.
[He hears Maruki, so he nods. The snacks remind him.]
I brought you food. You still haven't eaten.
[ And that'll earn Eren a tight laugh and, yes, a hair ruffle. He's still getting those any time, regardless of how sad he is. ]
I got distracted. It happens. Thank you for bringing it, though. Do you want to split it with me?
[ All told, he really doesn't have an appetite anymore, but he should eat. They both should. ]
I got distracted. It happens. Thank you for bringing it, though. Do you want to split it with me?
[ All told, he really doesn't have an appetite anymore, but he should eat. They both should. ]
[ Yeah, Eren's about to learn a fun lesson in grief! It's so let things like eating fall by the wayside. Maruki's all too familiar. Let him pick up the slack a bit.
The stew is briefly reheated and brought out along with utensils for both of them. Just like Eyn Sof, they can sit on the floor in front of the table. Maruki pats the ground next to him and tucks in – appetite or no, it really is a relief to eat something he didn't have to cook after the last two weeks. And he really does like Jean's stew. It's comforting!
And then, after a bit: ]
Can I ask– ah, you don't have to answer if you don't want to discuss it. But what was it like when you went up against the Green Knight?
The stew is briefly reheated and brought out along with utensils for both of them. Just like Eyn Sof, they can sit on the floor in front of the table. Maruki pats the ground next to him and tucks in – appetite or no, it really is a relief to eat something he didn't have to cook after the last two weeks. And he really does like Jean's stew. It's comforting!
And then, after a bit: ]
Can I ask– ah, you don't have to answer if you don't want to discuss it. But what was it like when you went up against the Green Knight?
[ Goodbye, stew. We hardly stew ye.
What a dejastew vu this is. He leads Eren out and around the back of the castle, exactly the same path he and Akechi walked a few nights ago, to a little clearing in the yard partially obscured by the hill that Vash likes to stargaze from. It's difficult to tell where one property ends and another begins with these castles, but for all intents and purposes, this is still in their yard, and relatively secluded.
Maruki folds his arms loosely over his chest and grins at Eren. ]
Surprise me.
What a deja
Maruki folds his arms loosely over his chest and grins at Eren. ]
Surprise me.
[Eren's not sure that it will surprise him, given everything he knows, but he's not out to impress, just to share; that, and he's found that he...missed these transformations more than he realized.
[Eren walks several yards away from Maruki. The size and heat of the transformation could very well kill him if Eren does it too close.]
Stay back there until it's done. [He raises his voice just barely enough to be heard. As for Maruki's view, he'll have no problem.
[Eren lifts his hand to his mouth and sharply bites down. It's a vicious, violent action that tears flesh, causes blood to spurt out in different directions. For a moment, nothing happens; then, crackles of electric energy, sizzling and popping all over his body.
[The transformation is grotesque; flesh, bone, and muscle, forming up around and consuming Eren. It only takes seconds. The grizzly tangle of sinew and skin shapes itself into a 5-meter-tall beast with a roar that makes the leaves in the trees quiver, some falling to the ground, birds flying off from the branches and far away. Steam, oppressively hot, pours from Eren, rising high into the sky, clouding the air all around them.
[He can't speak, but his eyes, monstrous as they are, are still the same shade of Eren green. He sets them on Maruki, watching.]
[Eren walks several yards away from Maruki. The size and heat of the transformation could very well kill him if Eren does it too close.]
Stay back there until it's done. [He raises his voice just barely enough to be heard. As for Maruki's view, he'll have no problem.
[Eren lifts his hand to his mouth and sharply bites down. It's a vicious, violent action that tears flesh, causes blood to spurt out in different directions. For a moment, nothing happens; then, crackles of electric energy, sizzling and popping all over his body.
[The transformation is grotesque; flesh, bone, and muscle, forming up around and consuming Eren. It only takes seconds. The grizzly tangle of sinew and skin shapes itself into a 5-meter-tall beast with a roar that makes the leaves in the trees quiver, some falling to the ground, birds flying off from the branches and far away. Steam, oppressively hot, pours from Eren, rising high into the sky, clouding the air all around them.
[He can't speak, but his eyes, monstrous as they are, are still the same shade of Eren green. He sets them on Maruki, watching.]
[ WELP!!!!!
Maruki saw a flash of this, just briefly, in dreams. Seeing it in reality–
He cranes his neck back to look up and meet Eren's eyes in this new form, shielding his own eyes against the sun. He doesn't look frightened, or panicked, or anything of the sort– mostly just fascinated. He knows Eren well enough to not feel fear for his life. He can afford to just watch, observe. It's grotesque... but he'd be lying heavily to himself if he didn't find it interesting as well.
He raises his voice a bit to be sure Eren can hear him all the way up there. ]
And you weren't able to simply stomp the Green Knight down into the ground?
Maruki saw a flash of this, just briefly, in dreams. Seeing it in reality–
He cranes his neck back to look up and meet Eren's eyes in this new form, shielding his own eyes against the sun. He doesn't look frightened, or panicked, or anything of the sort– mostly just fascinated. He knows Eren well enough to not feel fear for his life. He can afford to just watch, observe. It's grotesque... but he'd be lying heavily to himself if he didn't find it interesting as well.
He raises his voice a bit to be sure Eren can hear him all the way up there. ]
And you weren't able to simply stomp the Green Knight down into the ground?
[With one nightmarish finger, roughly the size of a four-door sedan, Eren veeeeery lightly - feather-lightly - touches the top of Maruki's head.
[Sit down, idiot, or you're going to fall as soon as he stands back up.
[Hopefully, Maruki gets the message; either way, Eren will protectively curl his fingers up into a little Takuto Maruki reservoir. He slowly stands up, and Maruki is higher than the trees.]
[Sit down, idiot, or you're going to fall as soon as he stands back up.
[Hopefully, Maruki gets the message; either way, Eren will protectively curl his fingers up into a little Takuto Maruki reservoir. He slowly stands up, and Maruki is higher than the trees.]
[ He gets the message, okay! He gets it! He's sitting! What the fuck is going on!!!
Even for as slow as Eren's clearly trying to go, it's still being lifted five meters off the ground. Like a plane taking off, there's no denying how anathema it is to the human condition to suddenly be up in the air.
Maruki laughs, breathless, peeking out over the treeline, over Somnius, and it's–
Hiking with Venat up the cliffside, being told that she'd like to show him the world from on high one day, even higher than this – that such a view would undoubtedly alter his perspective on human life, would aid in his journey, would give him the perspective of the woods that he's been missing for so long in a life spent in the trees.
She wasn't wrong. This is like being at the top of the cliff with her, getting a taste of that ability to see a place in all its splendor of a bird's eye view. It takes his breath away now just as it did then. He has little affection for Somnius on his best days and almost none for it at the moment, but even then, there's no denying the beauty of it from up so high.
He looks to Eren again – much closer now, yikes! – and he's grinning, bright and wide, that exhaustion dropped away for the moment. ]
You must usually be taller than this, right?
[ Another thing he knows because of Venat. Vaeros has a way of sizing things down to suit his needs. And from the stories Eren has told, he's sure that five meters is nothing. ]
Even for as slow as Eren's clearly trying to go, it's still being lifted five meters off the ground. Like a plane taking off, there's no denying how anathema it is to the human condition to suddenly be up in the air.
Maruki laughs, breathless, peeking out over the treeline, over Somnius, and it's–
Hiking with Venat up the cliffside, being told that she'd like to show him the world from on high one day, even higher than this – that such a view would undoubtedly alter his perspective on human life, would aid in his journey, would give him the perspective of the woods that he's been missing for so long in a life spent in the trees.
She wasn't wrong. This is like being at the top of the cliff with her, getting a taste of that ability to see a place in all its splendor of a bird's eye view. It takes his breath away now just as it did then. He has little affection for Somnius on his best days and almost none for it at the moment, but even then, there's no denying the beauty of it from up so high.
He looks to Eren again – much closer now, yikes! – and he's grinning, bright and wide, that exhaustion dropped away for the moment. ]
You must usually be taller than this, right?
[ Another thing he knows because of Venat. Vaeros has a way of sizing things down to suit his needs. And from the stories Eren has told, he's sure that five meters is nothing. ]
[Ha. Well. Yes, he was typically quite a bit taller than this at an average of 15-meters, but when you take into account The Founding Titan, numbers start to become meaningless. For the sake of brevity, he nods.
[They won't really be able to continue talking, this way. Part of Eren doesn't mind that - it's easier when he can't, he thinks - but this was, after all, only a demonstration (honestly, it's a lot of energy to waste on something so frivolous, but since things do appear to be more peaceful now...).
[Aside from all that, the worst part hasn't even come yet.
[Eren lets Maruki enjoy the view for a few more minutes before grunting a warning and then setting him gently back down on the ground. After that, the show has one final act. With another oppressive burst of steam, the Attack Titan slumps to the ground, head and limbs hung, limp. There's a fleshy, sickening sound as the nape of the neck splits open, the top half of Eren's body (still fully clothed in the same outfit, for the record) bursting out with a little gasp. Red strips of muscle cling to his face, arms, and legs. He rips his hands out first, using them to tear the rest of the muscle away. With that, he climbs out of the titan and slides off of it. Approaching Maruki again, the carcass rapidly decays, flesh rotting, falling, steaming, then disappearing. It's a slow process. The corpse will probably be here for at least 10 minutes before it completely disappears.]
That's basically it. [Deep red grooves paint strips under Eren's eyes, branching down over his cheeks and behind his ears.] My body can heal itself, too, even in this form. Any injury you can think of, pretty much.
[They won't really be able to continue talking, this way. Part of Eren doesn't mind that - it's easier when he can't, he thinks - but this was, after all, only a demonstration (honestly, it's a lot of energy to waste on something so frivolous, but since things do appear to be more peaceful now...).
[Aside from all that, the worst part hasn't even come yet.
[Eren lets Maruki enjoy the view for a few more minutes before grunting a warning and then setting him gently back down on the ground. After that, the show has one final act. With another oppressive burst of steam, the Attack Titan slumps to the ground, head and limbs hung, limp. There's a fleshy, sickening sound as the nape of the neck splits open, the top half of Eren's body (still fully clothed in the same outfit, for the record) bursting out with a little gasp. Red strips of muscle cling to his face, arms, and legs. He rips his hands out first, using them to tear the rest of the muscle away. With that, he climbs out of the titan and slides off of it. Approaching Maruki again, the carcass rapidly decays, flesh rotting, falling, steaming, then disappearing. It's a slow process. The corpse will probably be here for at least 10 minutes before it completely disappears.]
That's basically it. [Deep red grooves paint strips under Eren's eyes, branching down over his cheeks and behind his ears.] My body can heal itself, too, even in this form. Any injury you can think of, pretty much.
[ Oh, gross!
Oh, so gross. More than ever, Maruki appreciates the simplicity of summoning and dispelling a persona, even one as unsubtle as his. He watches the horror show, mouth slightly agape in the way it wasn't for the Titan's appearance. What a visceral, bloody thing, made even worse once the thing begins to decompose.
Maruki tears his eyes away from it to look at Eren, brows knitting together in sympathetic concern at the marks beneath his eyes. ]
Do those hurt...?
[ Yes, he heard what Eren said about healing. He still has to ask. ]
Oh, so gross. More than ever, Maruki appreciates the simplicity of summoning and dispelling a persona, even one as unsubtle as his. He watches the horror show, mouth slightly agape in the way it wasn't for the Titan's appearance. What a visceral, bloody thing, made even worse once the thing begins to decompose.
Maruki tears his eyes away from it to look at Eren, brows knitting together in sympathetic concern at the marks beneath his eyes. ]
Do those hurt...?
[ Yes, he heard what Eren said about healing. He still has to ask. ]
[ Maruki recognizes that given how much time Eren and Akechi spend together, there is a nonzero chance that he's seen Robin Hood.
Even if he has, the connection between the two beyond Akechi and Maruki's shared home may not be obvious at all, because there is nothing similar about the ways they appear.
No blue flames coiling around his legs, licking his face. No dramatic shout of a name. Just his left hand briefly extended before him, his voice quiet and calm, almost fond. ]
Azathoth.
[ The air around them wavers, at first colorlessly like a hot day, then with streaks of green, blue, purple, until an aurora forms around Maruki. It lingers faintly even when Azathoth appears at his side, towering over him. Not quite as tall as the Titan was, but when out in the open air like this, it's almost double Maruki's height.
The mass of tentacles stay docile beneath where it hovers off the ground, the three largest swaying toward Maruki at first – and then, as if sensing that there is nothing that needs to be done for him at the moment, their clawed hands back off.
In the high afternoon sun, Azathoth's body is almost blindingly brilliant and the pulsing glow of its tentacles is subdued, and it stares down at Eren with its neon eyes. There's nothing threatening about its stance, as it clearly knows it isn't in battle and in the presence of a friend at that, but it cuts an imposing figure regardless.
Maruki glances up at it, smiles, presses a hand to the warm golden chassis. ]
I suppose I don't have to ask you to keep this a secret.
Even if he has, the connection between the two beyond Akechi and Maruki's shared home may not be obvious at all, because there is nothing similar about the ways they appear.
No blue flames coiling around his legs, licking his face. No dramatic shout of a name. Just his left hand briefly extended before him, his voice quiet and calm, almost fond. ]
Azathoth.
[ The air around them wavers, at first colorlessly like a hot day, then with streaks of green, blue, purple, until an aurora forms around Maruki. It lingers faintly even when Azathoth appears at his side, towering over him. Not quite as tall as the Titan was, but when out in the open air like this, it's almost double Maruki's height.
The mass of tentacles stay docile beneath where it hovers off the ground, the three largest swaying toward Maruki at first – and then, as if sensing that there is nothing that needs to be done for him at the moment, their clawed hands back off.
In the high afternoon sun, Azathoth's body is almost blindingly brilliant and the pulsing glow of its tentacles is subdued, and it stares down at Eren with its neon eyes. There's nothing threatening about its stance, as it clearly knows it isn't in battle and in the presence of a friend at that, but it cuts an imposing figure regardless.
Maruki glances up at it, smiles, presses a hand to the warm golden chassis. ]
I suppose I don't have to ask you to keep this a secret.
Edited (when i get my azathoth pronouns wrong) 2024-06-27 05:59 (UTC)
[It's like nothing Eren has ever seen, of course. He's seen a lot of things since coming here, so he doesn't react with outright fear or shock, but his eyes do, indeed, go wide, and he stares, mouth agape, head tilting just slightly to the side.
[It's nothing like a titan...]
What...
Or...who?
[Oh--]
No, I. I won't tell.
[It's nothing like a titan...]
What...
Or...who?
[Oh--]
No, I. I won't tell.
[ What or who really is a great question. The figure is nothing like the spectral form of Robin Hood, and Maruki feels a much more personal connection to it than Akechi does. It feels more like a who than a what more often than not. ]
Thank you, I appreciate it. And, ah– Azathoth is its name. I know it's a bit of a mouthful...
[ He drops the hand resting on Azathoth's body to gesture vaguely as he speaks. It's fun, because he's still learning what the hell a persona is himself. Explaining it to someone else is probably good practice. ]
It's sort of like... A literal representation of my spirit. Or my will power, rather. I'm still very new to it – it only manifested physically to me right before I arrived here, and I just regained the ability right before– you know, before everything happened.
[ With one last look over at Azathoth, Maruki lifts his hand again, and it dissipates until nothing is left but that aurora – and then, nothing at all.
The Titan's carcass is still decaying behind Eren.
See? Things are much neater this way.
Maruki looks at Eren again and smiles bashfully, shrugs. ]
I didn't want to keep up the ruse around you any longer. You deserved to know the truth.
Thank you, I appreciate it. And, ah– Azathoth is its name. I know it's a bit of a mouthful...
[ He drops the hand resting on Azathoth's body to gesture vaguely as he speaks. It's fun, because he's still learning what the hell a persona is himself. Explaining it to someone else is probably good practice. ]
It's sort of like... A literal representation of my spirit. Or my will power, rather. I'm still very new to it – it only manifested physically to me right before I arrived here, and I just regained the ability right before– you know, before everything happened.
[ With one last look over at Azathoth, Maruki lifts his hand again, and it dissipates until nothing is left but that aurora – and then, nothing at all.
The Titan's carcass is still decaying behind Eren.
See? Things are much neater this way.
Maruki looks at Eren again and smiles bashfully, shrugs. ]
I didn't want to keep up the ruse around you any longer. You deserved to know the truth.
[It's just one or two seconds before Maruki recalls Azathoth that Eren reaches a hand toward it. When the aurora appears again, Eren upturns his palm like he might catch it as it falls, but...it never does.
[He looks to Maruki.]
What can it do?
Can it keep you safe?
[He looks to Maruki.]
What can it do?
Can it keep you safe?
[ He sees that hand extended and his smile turns apologetic. ]
Sorry– we're secluded, but not entirely safe. I worry about others seeing it.
[ And as for that question... Well. ]
Yes, it can battle. Quite well, as it turns out. It can heal me, or others... I'm sure there's more that it can do. I'm still learning.
[ ..................................... : ) ]
It does keep me safe. I would have easily died against the Green Knight if Azathoth hadn't been so hellbent on protecting me.
Sorry– we're secluded, but not entirely safe. I worry about others seeing it.
[ And as for that question... Well. ]
Yes, it can battle. Quite well, as it turns out. It can heal me, or others... I'm sure there's more that it can do. I'm still learning.
[ ..................................... : ) ]
It does keep me safe. I would have easily died against the Green Knight if Azathoth hadn't been so hellbent on protecting me.
Yes. Please keep that a secret as well. Although Night Sky has already insinuated it on the network, but she didn't know at the time that I wanted to stay out of it.
[ Hands in his pockets now, he looks at Eren with an expression that's plainly open and honest. ]
I value your friendship, Eren. I want you to know these things about me that few do.
[ Hands in his pockets now, he looks at Eren with an expression that's plainly open and honest. ]
I value your friendship, Eren. I want you to know these things about me that few do.
[ It's such a sincere offer, such an earnest promise, that Maruki can't help the affection that blooms in his chest and surely shows on his face.
I can handle it. For you.
And isn't that all there is to it, at the end of the day? For the people you love, you'll handle things that you otherwise couldn't.
He reaches out to clap Eren on the shoulder, laughing, overflowing with gratitude. ]
Thank you. I know that you will. I promise to be honest with you going forward.
[ About.............. most things, anyway. Look, no one in Somnius gets total honesty from him, not even Venat. ]
When I first arrived here, you were so concerned for my ability to defend myself and to fight if needed. Rightly so. I should have taken you up on your offer for training, but I was stubborn, and scared. So... I wanted to show you that you don't need to worry about me when things start to go bad. As it turns out, I can protect myself and fight harder than I knew was possible.
I can handle it. For you.
And isn't that all there is to it, at the end of the day? For the people you love, you'll handle things that you otherwise couldn't.
He reaches out to clap Eren on the shoulder, laughing, overflowing with gratitude. ]
Thank you. I know that you will. I promise to be honest with you going forward.
[ About.............. most things, anyway. Look, no one in Somnius gets total honesty from him, not even Venat. ]
When I first arrived here, you were so concerned for my ability to defend myself and to fight if needed. Rightly so. I should have taken you up on your offer for training, but I was stubborn, and scared. So... I wanted to show you that you don't need to worry about me when things start to go bad. As it turns out, I can protect myself and fight harder than I knew was possible.
I was worried. You're right.
I didn't show it, though. Not knowing, I should have protected you.
[He should have done a lot of things; should not have done a lot of things.]
I think I probably made a lot of enemies. [There's no real...remorse to his voice, but he doesn't exactly sound happy about it.]
Anyway. Now, I know.
It's good.
[There's a...somewhat wary glance at Maruki, then, but that isn't really who Eren is looking for. He offers a cautious:] Thanks...Azathoth...[He doesn't quite get the pronunciation right, but...]
I didn't show it, though. Not knowing, I should have protected you.
[He should have done a lot of things; should not have done a lot of things.]
I think I probably made a lot of enemies. [There's no real...remorse to his voice, but he doesn't exactly sound happy about it.]
Anyway. Now, I know.
It's good.
[There's a...somewhat wary glance at Maruki, then, but that isn't really who Eren is looking for. He offers a cautious:] Thanks...Azathoth...[He doesn't quite get the pronunciation right, but...]
[ Oh, that–
Maruki feels a lot when it comes to Azathoth. Its absence was as palpable as its presence. A constant, gentle pressure at the back of his mind, the base of his skull – a comfort more than anything else. Summoning it is like being filled from the soul up with unknowable power, pinpricks of light along each and every nerve. During battle it's as if a current of primordial chaos builds as a wave at the back of his mind and crests over all else, pooling in his temples, keeping him sharp and focused and ruthless. If he lets himself think of Actualization – and he doesn't, if he can absolutely help it – that golden chassis melts down into a thick syrup, seeps down the back of his neck, coats over every bit of pain he's ever felt.
There's no shortage of sensation.
This is a new one.
Like a log being thrown onto a smouldering fire, embers bursting and new flames coming to life. A flare in the back of his head, a warm glow. Contentment, pride.
Maruki startles a bit to feel it, then laughs at himself, fool that he is. ]
It's always with me, even when you can't see it. It felt your gratitude.
[ Maruki doesn't know if Azathoth itself has feelings – the rage they share was born entirely from him, he knows that – but that seemed true enough to say.
And then he gestures for Eren to join him, swings an arm casually over his shoulders as they walk back around to the front of the castle. ]
Come on, we can hang out a bit longer before you finish up your route.
Maruki feels a lot when it comes to Azathoth. Its absence was as palpable as its presence. A constant, gentle pressure at the back of his mind, the base of his skull – a comfort more than anything else. Summoning it is like being filled from the soul up with unknowable power, pinpricks of light along each and every nerve. During battle it's as if a current of primordial chaos builds as a wave at the back of his mind and crests over all else, pooling in his temples, keeping him sharp and focused and ruthless. If he lets himself think of Actualization – and he doesn't, if he can absolutely help it – that golden chassis melts down into a thick syrup, seeps down the back of his neck, coats over every bit of pain he's ever felt.
There's no shortage of sensation.
This is a new one.
Like a log being thrown onto a smouldering fire, embers bursting and new flames coming to life. A flare in the back of his head, a warm glow. Contentment, pride.
Maruki startles a bit to feel it, then laughs at himself, fool that he is. ]
It's always with me, even when you can't see it. It felt your gratitude.
[ Maruki doesn't know if Azathoth itself has feelings – the rage they share was born entirely from him, he knows that – but that seemed true enough to say.
And then he gestures for Eren to join him, swings an arm casually over his shoulders as they walk back around to the front of the castle. ]
Come on, we can hang out a bit longer before you finish up your route.
That's good to know - thank you for the in-depth response.
You know what I find interesting?
I know age can be an issue with this, so I think it's time I teach you how to use your phone. There's a button on the side - it's somewhat small. It's something I can mark for you so it's easy for you to spot. No offense of course.
It's called 'do not disturb' - do you need a thorough explanation of its capabilities?
You know what I find interesting?
I know age can be an issue with this, so I think it's time I teach you how to use your phone. There's a button on the side - it's somewhat small. It's something I can mark for you so it's easy for you to spot. No offense of course.
It's called 'do not disturb' - do you need a thorough explanation of its capabilities?
But if I did that, who would you text at 4 AM? I'd hate to take away that 24/7 policy that you love to take advantage of so much.
[ He's properly awake now. God dammit Akechi. ]
What ordeal could you possibly have gotten yourself into at this hour anyway?
[ He's properly awake now. God dammit Akechi. ]
What ordeal could you possibly have gotten yourself into at this hour anyway?
[First of all, how dare this man imply Akechi texts him often, let alone at weird hours.
[SMASHCUT TO EVERY TEXT HE HAS EVER SENT]
Secondly-]
It's a rare occasion that I text you at all, let alone at odd hours. Don't imply otherwise. It's disingenuous of you in a way I wouldn't expect from a humble, honest counselor.
[SMASHCUT TO EVERY TEXT HE HAS EVER SENT]
Secondly-]
It's a rare occasion that I text you at all, let alone at odd hours. Don't imply otherwise. It's disingenuous of you in a way I wouldn't expect from a humble, honest counselor.
See you.
[An omelette sounds great right now.
They could've be done with the jog and Akechi could be in a different chair waiting for MarukiEats. Ugh.
Akechi """""accidentally""""" drops his phone against the side of Eren's face - oh his apologies, so sorry!!! Things happen!!!]
[An omelette sounds great right now.
They could've be done with the jog and Akechi could be in a different chair waiting for MarukiEats. Ugh.
Akechi """""accidentally""""" drops his phone against the side of Eren's face - oh his apologies, so sorry!!! Things happen!!!]
[There's an idle concern that Maruki, knowing what he knows, and seeing the grief that Eren showed him, might get the wrong idea. Eren doesn't want that, but...to explain it in depth-- Well, he doesn't really want to think about it in depth.
[Still...]
All I can do right now is be with the people I care about before they're gone, so I told someone that I've had feelings for her for a long time. I want to take her on a date, but I have no idea where to begin.
Subaru took me on a date, and I liked it, but I can't just copy what he did for me. It has to be for her.
[Still...]
All I can do right now is be with the people I care about before they're gone, so I told someone that I've had feelings for her for a long time. I want to take her on a date, but I have no idea where to begin.
Subaru took me on a date, and I liked it, but I can't just copy what he did for me. It has to be for her.
We see each other every day. We have ever since she got here. We train with swords, but we do other things too. We talk about things, and just mess around.
We painted that bowl I told you about, and she painted me the ocean, too.
And we were looking for something, for a while.
We painted that bowl I told you about, and she painted me the ocean, too.
And we were looking for something, for a while.
Ah, got it.
Well... You two have spent a lot of time together already, so it might be difficult to find a new activity for a date, especially in a place like this. We're not exactly as spoiled for choice as I'm used to.
[ Seriously... Movie theaters? Ferris wheels? Planetariums? Aquariums? Parks? Shrines? This rural shithole is useless. ]
That said, I have a few ideas. Have you ever been up on Starlight Cliff at night?
Well... You two have spent a lot of time together already, so it might be difficult to find a new activity for a date, especially in a place like this. We're not exactly as spoiled for choice as I'm used to.
[ Seriously... Movie theaters? Ferris wheels? Planetariums? Aquariums? Parks? Shrines? This rural shithole is useless. ]
That said, I have a few ideas. Have you ever been up on Starlight Cliff at night?
Really? No, I didn't even know you could go inside of it. I learned something new today!
I think you're onto something, Eren. That's definitely a unique place to take someone. It would be secluded, which is always nice... and secluded without being dangerous, to boot, which is a rarity here.
But you're right, "let's hang out inside a windmill" isn't exactly the best invitation. My picnic idea stands - you could clean it up and bring in lanterns to make it a rather romantic place, maybe?
I think you're onto something, Eren. That's definitely a unique place to take someone. It would be secluded, which is always nice... and secluded without being dangerous, to boot, which is a rarity here.
But you're right, "let's hang out inside a windmill" isn't exactly the best invitation. My picnic idea stands - you could clean it up and bring in lanterns to make it a rather romantic place, maybe?
I figured I should bring some good stuff to eat, yeah. At this point, it would be stupid if I didn't. That's all I do...
The lanterns are a good idea. I thought different kinds of tea too, maybe. Like nice kinds.
Really, I just want to talk to her, more than anything.
The lanterns are a good idea. I thought different kinds of tea too, maybe. Like nice kinds.
Really, I just want to talk to her, more than anything.
A tea tasting date would be sweet! See, you have good ideas.
Then tell her that. Has she been on a date at all before? It might put her at ease to know that all you really want is to have time alone to talk.
For whatever it's worth, no matter what activity the date centers around, that's usually what they're about in the end. Just talking, getting to know one another - even for two people who have been friends for a while and know each other well already, like you and Aubrey-san do.
Then tell her that. Has she been on a date at all before? It might put her at ease to know that all you really want is to have time alone to talk.
For whatever it's worth, no matter what activity the date centers around, that's usually what they're about in the end. Just talking, getting to know one another - even for two people who have been friends for a while and know each other well already, like you and Aubrey-san do.
If not to put her at ease, then just to let her know. It's such a simple thing, isn't it? To be told that someone you care very much about just wants to talk to you. It's heart warming. She might like to hear it.
Yes, I think that's a great first date. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
Besides... You never know what this place has in store, and sometimes that's meant positively as well. I've heard of some rooms in the labyrinth that would be conducive to a date. Sharing a dream could lend itself to a date.
[ Killing an Archfey together could be considered a date. ]
Best to start simple, then.
Yes, I think that's a great first date. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
Besides... You never know what this place has in store, and sometimes that's meant positively as well. I've heard of some rooms in the labyrinth that would be conducive to a date. Sharing a dream could lend itself to a date.
[ Killing an Archfey together could be considered a date. ]
Best to start simple, then.
I guess that's true.
[...]
I want to know everything about Aubrey. I have for a long time.
It's selfish. I told her that I didn't want to tell her the truth about my future, so it isn't really fair that I want her to tell me everything.
Still, I want to know.
[...]
I want to know everything about Aubrey. I have for a long time.
It's selfish. I told her that I didn't want to tell her the truth about my future, so it isn't really fair that I want her to tell me everything.
Still, I want to know.
[ Venat's arm briefly trapped around his chest by a moment of weakness, of affection, of honesty: It might take my own lifetime to hear it all, but I find that I want to know your whole life story.
Yeah, he gets it. ]
That's a sure sign that you love someone, as far as I'm concerned.
Don't let it go.
Yeah, he gets it. ]
That's a sure sign that you love someone, as far as I'm concerned.
Don't let it go.
Oh!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed them, and that Subaru-kun got to have a taste of home as well! I have more, if you'd ever like. I have... a lot... hah...
But yes, Tokyo is home to me. I lived my whole life there and never intended to leave. It's my favorite place.
It feels foolish to say hopefully you can experience it one day, but I experienced a bit of Shiganshina through dreams, so perhaps it's not impossible.
It's highly unlikely that we come from the same Tokyo, but I can find out fairly easily sometime. I still haven't actually met Subaru-kun.
But yes, Tokyo is home to me. I lived my whole life there and never intended to leave. It's my favorite place.
It feels foolish to say hopefully you can experience it one day, but I experienced a bit of Shiganshina through dreams, so perhaps it's not impossible.
It's highly unlikely that we come from the same Tokyo, but I can find out fairly easily sometime. I still haven't actually met Subaru-kun.
I wouldn't be surprised by anything, at this point - in terms of what we might experience, anyway.
If you were going to see Shiganshina, I wish you'd seen it in a different way.
I'm surprised you haven't met him, yet. It kind of seems like you know everyone.
If you were going to see Shiganshina, I wish you'd seen it in a different way.
I'm surprised you haven't met him, yet. It kind of seems like you know everyone.
Thanks, Eren. It really isn't that big of a deal.
I really was joking, though! I don't know everyone. Subaru-kun just happens to be one of the people I don't know.
And anyhow, people don't actually avoid me. If anything, when they think I'm up to something nefarious, they make it a point to hang around me more often...
I really was joking, though! I don't know everyone. Subaru-kun just happens to be one of the people I don't know.
And anyhow, people don't actually avoid me. If anything, when they think I'm up to something nefarious, they make it a point to hang around me more often...
Thanks, I'll need it.
You know, it's funny - I think you're one of the few people here who never questioned why I do what I do. You wanted to know how it worked, but you didn't have any doubts about my motives.
I should thank you for that. I didn't realize how rare it would be.
You know, it's funny - I think you're one of the few people here who never questioned why I do what I do. You wanted to know how it worked, but you didn't have any doubts about my motives.
I should thank you for that. I didn't realize how rare it would be.
I did doubt you, for just a minute, that one time...
I regret that a lot. I never really believed you were doing it for the wrong reasons. The type of person you are is obvious. You just want to help people. I know that.
Maybe you'd put it differently, though. I don't think I've ever asked you why you do what you do either. In your words, I mean.
I regret that a lot. I never really believed you were doing it for the wrong reasons. The type of person you are is obvious. You just want to help people. I know that.
Maybe you'd put it differently, though. I don't think I've ever asked you why you do what you do either. In your words, I mean.
That was different. I don't regret it. If I'm honest, it did hurt at the time, but I understand now why you had questions... and I do think it was for the best that it happened. I don't want you to regret it either.
Hm. Do you really want to know? I'm happy to answer, but it might get long.
Hm. Do you really want to know? I'm happy to answer, but it might get long.
I do want to help people, more than anything. And if you had asked me this question a couple months ago, that's where the answer would have ended.
But it's that altruism that raises people's suspicions. Why would someone do something so emotionally taxing and thankless without getting anything in return?
I had a lot of trouble explaining that "why" in the beginning, even to people who were already familiar with counseling as a concept. It was never enough for me to say that I simply want to help people and it's what I'm meant to do. If anything, that answer only made people more suspicious. It was very stressful... and disheartening, if I'm honest.
Disheartening enough that I brought it up to Venat, who understands what I do better than anyone does. She very quickly helped me see that I do get something out of it, and that it's okay to admit that. It's a more honest answer, and hopefully one that will resonate with people.
So, I guess all that is to say... Why do I do what I do? Because I want to help people, yes. But also because doing so gives me a sense of control. Not over the people that I counsel. Just in the sense that... the world is a hellish place. It's torturous and painful. And it's difficult to feel like what I do matters at all, in the grand scheme of things, but at the end of the day... If I help alleviate even one person's emotional pains, then I'm doing my part to fight back against how deeply we all suffer as a people.
It's not a perfect answer. I'm still working on how to both be honest and have it make sense for anyone outside of my own head. But that's as close as I've come currently.
But it's that altruism that raises people's suspicions. Why would someone do something so emotionally taxing and thankless without getting anything in return?
I had a lot of trouble explaining that "why" in the beginning, even to people who were already familiar with counseling as a concept. It was never enough for me to say that I simply want to help people and it's what I'm meant to do. If anything, that answer only made people more suspicious. It was very stressful... and disheartening, if I'm honest.
Disheartening enough that I brought it up to Venat, who understands what I do better than anyone does. She very quickly helped me see that I do get something out of it, and that it's okay to admit that. It's a more honest answer, and hopefully one that will resonate with people.
So, I guess all that is to say... Why do I do what I do? Because I want to help people, yes. But also because doing so gives me a sense of control. Not over the people that I counsel. Just in the sense that... the world is a hellish place. It's torturous and painful. And it's difficult to feel like what I do matters at all, in the grand scheme of things, but at the end of the day... If I help alleviate even one person's emotional pains, then I'm doing my part to fight back against how deeply we all suffer as a people.
It's not a perfect answer. I'm still working on how to both be honest and have it make sense for anyone outside of my own head. But that's as close as I've come currently.
[Parts of it makes sense; wanting control - that makes more than enough. But Eren's never thought of kindness as a particularly powerful thing. It isn't a bad thing. It matters in its own way - he's never denied that - but it isn't enough; likewise, Maruki healing the emotional wounds of one or two people would have no effect on the tides of a war.
[In the context of one life, though, caged as it may be - well, the fact of the matter is:]
You've helped me. That's one person.
[Come to think of it...
[Maybe only someone like Maruki could have turned that tide. But that's just wishful thinking.]
[In the context of one life, though, caged as it may be - well, the fact of the matter is:]
You've helped me. That's one person.
[Come to think of it...
[Maybe only someone like Maruki could have turned that tide. But that's just wishful thinking.]
[He doesn't get it...]
This is the worst I've ever been. Even in the future that I lived, I wasn't this fucked up. Every moment feels like a waking Hell that I have no choice but to face, so I am.
But this isn't the first time my life's been flipped upside down. First, I learned about my future, and I knew that I would never be the same again. The more I learned, the worse it got. Right before I met you, I lived my future firsthand in the Labyrinth and came back empty.
There's no way I could describe it to someone who hasn't felt it themselves. It felt like there was nothing left of me. I took every second for granted because I hated being alive, and I still do.
But then we started talking, and everything started to slow down. I didn't feel so lonely. Me and Aubrey are smiling in that picture I showed you, but it was so hard for so long to smile at all before that.
Mikasa is gone, and all I want to do is go home and die - I won't lie about that. But only a few days ago, Subaru made me smile, and I didn't think that was possible at all anymore. I don't know if it would be possible if you hadn't helped me. If we hadn't decided those moments are worth something.
I told Aubrey about that. I'll tell anyone who will listen.
You taught me that. And now it's all I have. If all you want is to feel like you've alleviated someone's Hell, then I guess that's what I'm telling you...
This is the worst I've ever been. Even in the future that I lived, I wasn't this fucked up. Every moment feels like a waking Hell that I have no choice but to face, so I am.
But this isn't the first time my life's been flipped upside down. First, I learned about my future, and I knew that I would never be the same again. The more I learned, the worse it got. Right before I met you, I lived my future firsthand in the Labyrinth and came back empty.
There's no way I could describe it to someone who hasn't felt it themselves. It felt like there was nothing left of me. I took every second for granted because I hated being alive, and I still do.
But then we started talking, and everything started to slow down. I didn't feel so lonely. Me and Aubrey are smiling in that picture I showed you, but it was so hard for so long to smile at all before that.
Mikasa is gone, and all I want to do is go home and die - I won't lie about that. But only a few days ago, Subaru made me smile, and I didn't think that was possible at all anymore. I don't know if it would be possible if you hadn't helped me. If we hadn't decided those moments are worth something.
I told Aubrey about that. I'll tell anyone who will listen.
You taught me that. And now it's all I have. If all you want is to feel like you've alleviated someone's Hell, then I guess that's what I'm telling you...
[ How does one respond to that? Maruki genuinely doesn't know. Any response at all takes a long time to come. ]
Sorry. I don't have the words for how meaningful it is to hear that - and I mean that sincerely. I think you're the first person to voice so clearly how I've helped you.
More than anything, I'm grateful to hear that you're telling other people the same thing I told you. I hope it helps them too.
I'm glad you're here, Eren. I'm glad we're in this hell together.
Sorry. I don't have the words for how meaningful it is to hear that - and I mean that sincerely. I think you're the first person to voice so clearly how I've helped you.
More than anything, I'm grateful to hear that you're telling other people the same thing I told you. I hope it helps them too.
I'm glad you're here, Eren. I'm glad we're in this hell together.
I suppose we should be grateful no one requested a shooting range.
[Another month, another day, another corrupted world more akin to palace than reality. Every outing has unpredictable consequences and explorations with Maruki have become the norm. Loathe as he is to admit the value of two sets of eyes, another person to bounce ideas off, someone who can hold their own without Akechi's supervision. It's necessary. Not unenjoyable.
He waves the HP bar above his head away with a sip of his coffee - a flickering set of numbers distorting from 2,200 to 582 to 5,000 in random spurts. Random times. It comes and goes when he consumes any item. It's fucking ridiculous, actually!
But it's amicable. They don't talk about the conversation left lingering at the bar - simple discussions between them bordering on teasing to serious, all relating to the world. The arcade.]
I wonder if every request will be be distorted and thrown back into our faces.
[Another month, another day, another corrupted world more akin to palace than reality. Every outing has unpredictable consequences and explorations with Maruki have become the norm. Loathe as he is to admit the value of two sets of eyes, another person to bounce ideas off, someone who can hold their own without Akechi's supervision. It's necessary. Not unenjoyable.
He waves the HP bar above his head away with a sip of his coffee - a flickering set of numbers distorting from 2,200 to 582 to 5,000 in random spurts. Random times. It comes and goes when he consumes any item. It's fucking ridiculous, actually!
But it's amicable. They don't talk about the conversation left lingering at the bar - simple discussions between them bordering on teasing to serious, all relating to the world. The arcade.]
I wonder if every request will be be distorted and thrown back into our faces.
[ Maruki watches the health bar above his head with mild interest – his own is similarly glitched, keeps maxing out beyond its capacity, what's up with that – but the teasing smile on his lips quickly turns to a grimace at Akechi's postulation. ]
It seems that way, doesn't it?
[ He's seen the Kozume boy's apology on the network. But then, he has to weigh that against Night Sky's experience with the Green Knight, and what he recently learned of Alice and her dreams. ]
Things we wish for, things we don't wish for – both are fair game. Nothing is off limits. I suppose it would be boring otherwise.
[ Openly sardonic on that last part. He has no reason not to be around Akechi. The strange taste left over in his mouth after their conversation at Club Quartz has never fully faded, but it was easy enough to ignore after a couple days of normalcy.
He sighs, sips his own coffee. At least the cafe goers no longer fight each other at random. Although, the drama was indeed interesting to witness... ]
It seems that way, doesn't it?
[ He's seen the Kozume boy's apology on the network. But then, he has to weigh that against Night Sky's experience with the Green Knight, and what he recently learned of Alice and her dreams. ]
Things we wish for, things we don't wish for – both are fair game. Nothing is off limits. I suppose it would be boring otherwise.
[ Openly sardonic on that last part. He has no reason not to be around Akechi. The strange taste left over in his mouth after their conversation at Club Quartz has never fully faded, but it was easy enough to ignore after a couple days of normalcy.
He sighs, sips his own coffee. At least the cafe goers no longer fight each other at random. Although, the drama was indeed interesting to witness... ]
[The bar above Maruki's head is noted. Another abnormality to add to an ever growing list. At this point, any commonality between him and other persona users would be bizarre and eye catching. As it stands, if it's weird, it's normal for Maruki. Akechi is slowly accepting this reality.
Eyes back to his iced coffee and the people around him. One of his favorite gelflings to torment with incited arguments gives him the stink eye from two tables over. Akechi waves, smile bright, ever the dutiful prince. Fuck you, Dan.]
How ominous. I wonder what deep, dark desires will come to the surface this time around.
[A door opens, a cue given and an opening allowed into the world - a sagely cloaked individual, pixelated and hidden under shadow slinks into the cafe. Music plays overhead, as if an intercom was suddenly turned on and Akechi looks equal parts intrigued and annoyed.]
Oh, this should be fun.
Eyes back to his iced coffee and the people around him. One of his favorite gelflings to torment with incited arguments gives him the stink eye from two tables over. Akechi waves, smile bright, ever the dutiful prince. Fuck you, Dan.]
How ominous. I wonder what deep, dark desires will come to the surface this time around.
[A door opens, a cue given and an opening allowed into the world - a sagely cloaked individual, pixelated and hidden under shadow slinks into the cafe. Music plays overhead, as if an intercom was suddenly turned on and Akechi looks equal parts intrigued and annoyed.]
Oh, this should be fun.
So long as I don't have to vanquish a demigod again...
[ It's a half-hearted joke that trails off and dies as more video game bullshit invades their space.
Maruki twists in his seat to watch the pixelated mystery man, uncaring of how obvious he is. Better to know what's going on and react accordingly than to try to play it cool.
The music is– irritating. And a bit foreboding. He's found himself thinking that often lately. More games ought to sound the way Dolph's club did that night–
No, he's doing his best not to think of that night.
Maruki inclines his head back toward Akechi without looking away from the man, eyebrows raised, tone mild. ]
Very subtle. I wonder if his intentions might bend toward the nefarious?
[ And then, just as he's about to turn his attention away just long enough to finish off his coffee before things go south, from the corner of his eye he catches–
A flash of orange from within that hood. The glint of light reflected off glasses.
His hand resting on the table curls into a fist, and his voice drops to the lowest sotto voce. ]
Akechi.
[ Did you see what I just saw, the unspoken question hanging off the end of his name. ]
[ It's a half-hearted joke that trails off and dies as more video game bullshit invades their space.
Maruki twists in his seat to watch the pixelated mystery man, uncaring of how obvious he is. Better to know what's going on and react accordingly than to try to play it cool.
The music is– irritating. And a bit foreboding. He's found himself thinking that often lately. More games ought to sound the way Dolph's club did that night–
No, he's doing his best not to think of that night.
Maruki inclines his head back toward Akechi without looking away from the man, eyebrows raised, tone mild. ]
Very subtle. I wonder if his intentions might bend toward the nefarious?
[ And then, just as he's about to turn his attention away just long enough to finish off his coffee before things go south, from the corner of his eye he catches–
A flash of orange from within that hood. The glint of light reflected off glasses.
His hand resting on the table curls into a fist, and his voice drops to the lowest sotto voce. ]
Akechi.
[ Did you see what I just saw, the unspoken question hanging off the end of his name. ]
Edited 2024-07-02 07:50 (UTC)
[It's funny.
There's a visible tension that pulls his body taut - the strings of a marionette tugged, tugged, tugged until his posture is straight. Perfect. No longer slouching over an iced coffee, no more weakness shown. It's not Shido and it doesn't matter. It's not him and-
Akechi knows that. Can tell because the man didn't come in ready to eviscerate him for allowing such a blunder, as if being transported to this world was his goddamn fault. The pixelated flaws apparent when the figure turns to face them. Smudges on the transparent orange tint in his glasses, sloppy goatee that curls around the wrong edges of his face-
Akechi's been around this man for years. Talked to him for years. Has studied that face for years because his daydreams include thin red lines wrapping around the whites of his eyes into his iris dulls to nothing. It's tinted glasses smashed into his face, until those shards poke out of hollowed cheeks. It's knowing both his hands can wrap around his neck and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze and-
There's a knife in his pocket. There's a gun against his leg. It's not Shido. It might feel better and-
Akechi - low and soft, pulls his thoughts back. Another person here. Maruki. Right. It's not Shido - it's a hollow look alike, gliding to their table with rumbling noise above them getting-
Overrun. Overridden. Akechi's mind is full of static and-
It occurs to him, for a brief moment, Maruki shouldn't be curling his fist, lowering his voice, tensing in all the wrong places. Shouldn't know Shido in a manner that makes the normally complacent and calm man's grip turn knuckle white.
No, he shouldn't know Shido at all. The bar conversation a negging, small thought as-
Akechi smiles, hands folded neatly atop one another, a wild, manic look in his eyes that doesn't match the precise, serene way his voice comes out.
The man's at the table now, hovering over them and pressed against the side. Akechi wants to kill him. Ignores the urge to say Sir.]
I have a quest for you two. A dangerous, perilous one. This truly is an unjust u̴̺̾n̴̼͆j̷̻͛ù̷̖s̵̀͜t̴͖̓ ̸͎̚w̸͎̃o̵͔͠r̸̟̿l̸͕̓d̸̩͆ u̴̺̾n̴̼͆j̷̻͛ù̷̖s̵̀͜t̴͖̓ ̸͎̚w̸͎̃o̵͔͠r̸̟̿l̸͕̓d̸̩͆, but I ask you hear me out.
[Says the booming, snarky voice. One spoken in the corner of quiet offices, after everyone has gone home. One Akechi's heard in I have a new target for you and his stomach flips. Churns. He hasn't blinked and-]
By all means, please state it. You know, you look quite familiar, though I can't place it. Are you in movies?
[What a FUNNY TRICK to PLAY ON AKECHI GORO.]
Well, it doesn't matter. I'll prepare you by saying we likely aren't interested, but we are willing to hear it out.
There's a visible tension that pulls his body taut - the strings of a marionette tugged, tugged, tugged until his posture is straight. Perfect. No longer slouching over an iced coffee, no more weakness shown. It's not Shido and it doesn't matter. It's not him and-
Akechi knows that. Can tell because the man didn't come in ready to eviscerate him for allowing such a blunder, as if being transported to this world was his goddamn fault. The pixelated flaws apparent when the figure turns to face them. Smudges on the transparent orange tint in his glasses, sloppy goatee that curls around the wrong edges of his face-
Akechi's been around this man for years. Talked to him for years. Has studied that face for years because his daydreams include thin red lines wrapping around the whites of his eyes into his iris dulls to nothing. It's tinted glasses smashed into his face, until those shards poke out of hollowed cheeks. It's knowing both his hands can wrap around his neck and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze and-
There's a knife in his pocket. There's a gun against his leg. It's not Shido. It might feel better and-
Akechi - low and soft, pulls his thoughts back. Another person here. Maruki. Right. It's not Shido - it's a hollow look alike, gliding to their table with rumbling noise above them getting-
Overrun. Overridden. Akechi's mind is full of static and-
It occurs to him, for a brief moment, Maruki shouldn't be curling his fist, lowering his voice, tensing in all the wrong places. Shouldn't know Shido in a manner that makes the normally complacent and calm man's grip turn knuckle white.
No, he shouldn't know Shido at all. The bar conversation a negging, small thought as-
Akechi smiles, hands folded neatly atop one another, a wild, manic look in his eyes that doesn't match the precise, serene way his voice comes out.
The man's at the table now, hovering over them and pressed against the side. Akechi wants to kill him. Ignores the urge to say Sir.]
I have a quest for you two. A dangerous, perilous one. This truly is an unjust u̴̺̾n̴̼͆j̷̻͛ù̷̖s̵̀͜t̴͖̓ ̸͎̚w̸͎̃o̵͔͠r̸̟̿l̸͕̓d̸̩͆ u̴̺̾n̴̼͆j̷̻͛ù̷̖s̵̀͜t̴͖̓ ̸͎̚w̸͎̃o̵͔͠r̸̟̿l̸͕̓d̸̩͆, but I ask you hear me out.
[Says the booming, snarky voice. One spoken in the corner of quiet offices, after everyone has gone home. One Akechi's heard in I have a new target for you and his stomach flips. Churns. He hasn't blinked and-]
By all means, please state it. You know, you look quite familiar, though I can't place it. Are you in movies?
[What a FUNNY TRICK to PLAY ON AKECHI GORO.]
Well, it doesn't matter. I'll prepare you by saying we likely aren't interested, but we are willing to hear it out.
[ This cannot be fucking happening.
Even with all of the video game-themed ridiculousness invading their daily lives, this is beyond the pale. Maruki stares daggers at the pixelated facsimile of Masayoshi Shido, mouth set in a thin line and brows drawn down, eyes wild with fury.
Perhaps if he and Akechi hadn't had the discussion that they did in the club, both of them skirting around naming this man, he would have a better handle on his poker face.
As it stands, he feels no need to hide his ire. What's the worst that could happen? They have to do battle? Fine. They're strong. Shido is not. They'll win, easily and handily. He almost wishes that it would go that way.
But no– Nothing of the sort comes to pass. His gaze shifts sidelong to watch Akechi, the bright danger in his eyes as he speaks so evenly.
Eyes back on Shido. The voice that comes out is similar enough to what Maruki's heard from endless days and nights of campaign cars up and down the streets, radio sound bites, television interviews, but the glitchy staccato of some words sets his teeth on edge like chewing tinfoil. ]
The only thing you have to do is follow o̴̪̓r̴̙̀d̸͍̏ĕ̴͕r̵̖̐ ̷̼̋m̴̩̓y̶̺͂ ̷̨͂e̸̯̔v̷̰̕e̷̦̓r̶̲̍y̵̠̐ ̵̹́ǫ̶͗ř̵͖d̸͍͌e̶̩̕r̸̲͂ instructions, and you will receive all the riches you could hope for.
[ Oh, he hates it. Deeply, viscerally.
When he speaks, his own voice is tempered steel, flat and firm. Not a hint of that same poison-laced sweetness Akechi possesses. ]
There's nothing you could possibly offer that would entice us, so I wouldn't waste your time with that. Get on it with the request.
[ They don't! Have time!! For this bullshit!!! ]
Even with all of the video game-themed ridiculousness invading their daily lives, this is beyond the pale. Maruki stares daggers at the pixelated facsimile of Masayoshi Shido, mouth set in a thin line and brows drawn down, eyes wild with fury.
Perhaps if he and Akechi hadn't had the discussion that they did in the club, both of them skirting around naming this man, he would have a better handle on his poker face.
As it stands, he feels no need to hide his ire. What's the worst that could happen? They have to do battle? Fine. They're strong. Shido is not. They'll win, easily and handily. He almost wishes that it would go that way.
But no– Nothing of the sort comes to pass. His gaze shifts sidelong to watch Akechi, the bright danger in his eyes as he speaks so evenly.
Eyes back on Shido. The voice that comes out is similar enough to what Maruki's heard from endless days and nights of campaign cars up and down the streets, radio sound bites, television interviews, but the glitchy staccato of some words sets his teeth on edge like chewing tinfoil. ]
The only thing you have to do is follow o̴̪̓r̴̙̀d̸͍̏ĕ̴͕r̵̖̐ ̷̼̋m̴̩̓y̶̺͂ ̷̨͂e̸̯̔v̷̰̕e̷̦̓r̶̲̍y̵̠̐ ̵̹́ǫ̶͗ř̵͖d̸͍͌e̶̩̕r̸̲͂ instructions, and you will receive all the riches you could hope for.
[ Oh, he hates it. Deeply, viscerally.
When he speaks, his own voice is tempered steel, flat and firm. Not a hint of that same poison-laced sweetness Akechi possesses. ]
There's nothing you could possibly offer that would entice us, so I wouldn't waste your time with that. Get on it with the request.
[ They don't! Have time!! For this bullshit!!! ]
[Wrath in Maruki is a different beast.
It's not the subdued rage of Joker or the volatile anger in his own twisted heart - it's a combination of the two. Simmering. It's an explosion waiting to happen and Akechi-
Can't wait for the day it spills over into something distorted and new.
Maruki has been mad at him. Their interactions aren't always calm. Rarely, these days. Too many truths seeping through the frayed edges of their image, too much comfort in their similarities to keep hidden. Akechi's disturbed by how easy it was to settle into.
But he rips his gaze away - the false Shido's voice is static to his ears. It doesn't matter. He hates the pathetic amalgamation more because it's a fucking taunt on a goal within reach in reality. This shitty copy-
Infuriates him.
It says something - Akechi doesn't register a word and a choice pops up over a request he didn't understand, dialogue bubbles appearing from sharp points against their table.
> Accept
> Decline
And Akechi doesn't hesitate to slam his hand against the > Accept option, even while the creature is still posturing. Mumbling. Twisting pretty little lies into promises that settle and slot perfectly into his skull.
He didn't ask to kill - Akechi knows that. He never asks for that first. It's subtle, little things that become larger, more grandiose. Cause a psychotic break - that person is evil. Make their employee cause a scandal - the corporation owes too much.
Turn a gun on father who gave up his life for a false idol.
Turn a gun on a mother whose only crime was acquiring knowledge.
QUEST ACCEPTED - a deluge of lines appear on a table note. Akechi ignores it and waits -
For the creature to approve. Nod and disperse into distorted body parts made of gold that clatter to the ground. The promise of riches scattering at their feet. An arm from a statue touching Akechi's heel.]
This world is something else, isn't it?
[And he takes another sip of disgusting, cold coffee.]
It's not the subdued rage of Joker or the volatile anger in his own twisted heart - it's a combination of the two. Simmering. It's an explosion waiting to happen and Akechi-
Can't wait for the day it spills over into something distorted and new.
Maruki has been mad at him. Their interactions aren't always calm. Rarely, these days. Too many truths seeping through the frayed edges of their image, too much comfort in their similarities to keep hidden. Akechi's disturbed by how easy it was to settle into.
But he rips his gaze away - the false Shido's voice is static to his ears. It doesn't matter. He hates the pathetic amalgamation more because it's a fucking taunt on a goal within reach in reality. This shitty copy-
Infuriates him.
It says something - Akechi doesn't register a word and a choice pops up over a request he didn't understand, dialogue bubbles appearing from sharp points against their table.
> Decline
And Akechi doesn't hesitate to slam his hand against the > Accept option, even while the creature is still posturing. Mumbling. Twisting pretty little lies into promises that settle and slot perfectly into his skull.
He didn't ask to kill - Akechi knows that. He never asks for that first. It's subtle, little things that become larger, more grandiose. Cause a psychotic break - that person is evil. Make their employee cause a scandal - the corporation owes too much.
Turn a gun on father who gave up his life for a false idol.
Turn a gun on a mother whose only crime was acquiring knowledge.
QUEST ACCEPTED - a deluge of lines appear on a table note. Akechi ignores it and waits -
For the creature to approve. Nod and disperse into distorted body parts made of gold that clatter to the ground. The promise of riches scattering at their feet. An arm from a statue touching Akechi's heel.]
This world is something else, isn't it?
[And he takes another sip of disgusting, cold coffee.]
[ Akechi's palm slams down on the table and Maruki's caught staring at it, at the sudden appearance of the note, when the pixelated Shido analogue quite literally falls apart in front of them.
It rips a noise from him that's more derisive scoff than anything else, though there's shock in it, too. His wild stare moves from the table to the disembodied golden statue, then to Akechi's eyes. ]
Yeah. Something else.
[ He doesn't have the stomach for his own drink anymore, simply rolls the cup between his palms. ]
That felt a bit– pointed.
[ He doesn't know what he's saying. ]
It could have been any newly created cognitive manipulation to speak to us, but it was– someone familiar from our reality.
[ His jaw is still so tense that an ache is beginning to radiate up toward his temples. ]
What did we just accept, exactly?
It rips a noise from him that's more derisive scoff than anything else, though there's shock in it, too. His wild stare moves from the table to the disembodied golden statue, then to Akechi's eyes. ]
Yeah. Something else.
[ He doesn't have the stomach for his own drink anymore, simply rolls the cup between his palms. ]
That felt a bit– pointed.
[ He doesn't know what he's saying. ]
It could have been any newly created cognitive manipulation to speak to us, but it was– someone familiar from our reality.
[ His jaw is still so tense that an ache is beginning to radiate up toward his temples. ]
What did we just accept, exactly?
Was he? I suppose he seemed somewhat familiar.
[Tension keeps his voice taut, despite the obvious forced inflection to make his tone easygoing and friendly. It distorts the intent entirely and he covers it all up with a sip of his drink.
It doesn't matter what they accepted. He kicks the golden idol by his foot and watches the flicker of light it creates as it slides to the next table.]
As for what we accepted, I've already forgotten.
[The note would tell them, if Akechi wasn't curling the letter under his fingers to hide in his fist. A cognition of egotistical nutcase - he can gather what the options are, though he doubts the lackluster copy holds the same need for power. He won't look. It doesn't matter. The paper will be kept for safekeeping, disappear like everything else or end up a pile of ash - the whole ordeal was fucking meaningless.]
You were getting somewhat heated. I have to say, that was a surprise. Are you familiar with him?
[Tension keeps his voice taut, despite the obvious forced inflection to make his tone easygoing and friendly. It distorts the intent entirely and he covers it all up with a sip of his drink.
It doesn't matter what they accepted. He kicks the golden idol by his foot and watches the flicker of light it creates as it slides to the next table.]
As for what we accepted, I've already forgotten.
[The note would tell them, if Akechi wasn't curling the letter under his fingers to hide in his fist. A cognition of egotistical nutcase - he can gather what the options are, though he doubts the lackluster copy holds the same need for power. He won't look. It doesn't matter. The paper will be kept for safekeeping, disappear like everything else or end up a pile of ash - the whole ordeal was fucking meaningless.]
You were getting somewhat heated. I have to say, that was a surprise. Are you familiar with him?
[ He was getting somewhat heated. Maruki takes a moment to calm himself; deep and even breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth. A forced relaxing of his shoulders, unclenching of his jaw. He looks down at the remnants of the coffee, wishes he could drink it to busy himself and buy time before answering–
But it's really not necessary, is it? He's fine raising his eyes and watching Akechi for a moment while he considers his words. He doesn't need an excuse to be quiet. ]
Yes, I am. I'm going to assume that you are at least passingly familiar too.
[ Even if Akechi wasn't investigating the psychotic breaks and mental shutdowns, he's still an intelligent, observant, informed citizen of Tokyo. There's no way he's avoided hearing of Shido during an election cycle turned absurd.
Maruki smiles at him then, but it doesn't reach his eyes by far. ]
I'm not a fan of his politics.
But it's really not necessary, is it? He's fine raising his eyes and watching Akechi for a moment while he considers his words. He doesn't need an excuse to be quiet. ]
Yes, I am. I'm going to assume that you are at least passingly familiar too.
[ Even if Akechi wasn't investigating the psychotic breaks and mental shutdowns, he's still an intelligent, observant, informed citizen of Tokyo. There's no way he's avoided hearing of Shido during an election cycle turned absurd.
Maruki smiles at him then, but it doesn't reach his eyes by far. ]
I'm not a fan of his politics.
A little.
[A little. Too much. A lot. Nothing at all. Practiced words come out of his mouth in expectation of - Akechi Goro to come out in support Masayoshi Shido. It's one of the last comments he heard in the media before being pulled, as he watched red drain down the bathroom sink. Promoted by Shido. Curated by Shido. It's pointless for him to even state anything when the world is cultivated for that man to succeed, with no small part owed to Akechi himself.
He laughs - soft, bitter and into his cup at the same time Maruki speaks again.
I'm not a fan of his politics - of course he wouldn't be. It's why he's an enemy. On a list.]
The Detective Prince is supposed to show his support on his policies when we return - isn't that funny? I wonder if his appearance was a reminder of that task. Perhaps we're closer to getting closer to escaping than we think. Maybe that man was a good omen.
[A little. Too much. A lot. Nothing at all. Practiced words come out of his mouth in expectation of - Akechi Goro to come out in support Masayoshi Shido. It's one of the last comments he heard in the media before being pulled, as he watched red drain down the bathroom sink. Promoted by Shido. Curated by Shido. It's pointless for him to even state anything when the world is cultivated for that man to succeed, with no small part owed to Akechi himself.
He laughs - soft, bitter and into his cup at the same time Maruki speaks again.
I'm not a fan of his politics - of course he wouldn't be. It's why he's an enemy. On a list.]
The Detective Prince is supposed to show his support on his policies when we return - isn't that funny? I wonder if his appearance was a reminder of that task. Perhaps we're closer to getting closer to escaping than we think. Maybe that man was a good omen.
[ The Detective Prince is supposed to–
Not I'm supposed to–
Maruki will most certainly remember that. ]
Maybe so. That's an optimistic take on the situation. I should try to follow suit.
[ This isn't like him, he knows that. Or– it is like him, but in a way Akechi hasn't had reason to see yet. Even the few times he's been angry in Somnius, it hasn't been anything like this.
Most days, he feels so far from the man that he was when he left Tokyo that it's nearly unreachable. At times like this, he still has one foot in that reality. In his old professor's office, spitting Masayoshi Shido's name and laying the connections he'd drawn bare. So many things have changed since the day he appeared in Somnius. If nothing else, this is a good reminder that his rage has not.
Still. He shakes his head after a moment, offers Akechi a more genuine smile. ]
Sorry. I shouldn't allow myself to be so thrown by a cognitive manipulation – especially not a ridiculous video game-themed one. I'm sure there's no repercussions if we ignore that quest.
[ A thoughtful pause. ]
Or perhaps there will be. We could leave this cafe and enter into a boss battle.
[ That might be fun. ]
Not I'm supposed to–
Maruki will most certainly remember that. ]
Maybe so. That's an optimistic take on the situation. I should try to follow suit.
[ This isn't like him, he knows that. Or– it is like him, but in a way Akechi hasn't had reason to see yet. Even the few times he's been angry in Somnius, it hasn't been anything like this.
Most days, he feels so far from the man that he was when he left Tokyo that it's nearly unreachable. At times like this, he still has one foot in that reality. In his old professor's office, spitting Masayoshi Shido's name and laying the connections he'd drawn bare. So many things have changed since the day he appeared in Somnius. If nothing else, this is a good reminder that his rage has not.
Still. He shakes his head after a moment, offers Akechi a more genuine smile. ]
Sorry. I shouldn't allow myself to be so thrown by a cognitive manipulation – especially not a ridiculous video game-themed one. I'm sure there's no repercussions if we ignore that quest.
[ A thoughtful pause. ]
Or perhaps there will be. We could leave this cafe and enter into a boss battle.
[ That might be fun. ]
[Ignore it. Don't. It's all irrelevant. Akechi has quests and tasks to fulfill in reality. A false idol is meaningless.
What holds relevance now -
Is Maruki's reaction. His words. Boss battle rings louder than it should. A yacht filled to the brim with the scum of humanity, Maruki among those warped into rats through the halls. Akechi has gone over and over and over. Has stepped through those disgusting, ornate doors into rooms more sickening than the last. Every death in reality by his own hands makes the world more disturbing in Shido's palace. Akechi checks every single time.]
A boss battle - do you really think it would come to that? Actually, let me rephrase -
[Slow. Quiet. Tense. He wants to burn the ship to the ground, watch the filth of humanity sink into the depths of that ocean, let the rats float to the surface and find no ground left to attach to.
He can't fucking wait and-
His cup is placed back on the table - gentle and without a clink. Akechi's always eager to fight. Attack. Conquer. Dominate.
Shido is different. There's a plan to be followed, a path to tread and a world for only Akechi Goro to see. Maruki may be with him in distorted, vivid words. In memories, but he does not belong there.]
Don't bother trying. Am I clear?
What holds relevance now -
Is Maruki's reaction. His words. Boss battle rings louder than it should. A yacht filled to the brim with the scum of humanity, Maruki among those warped into rats through the halls. Akechi has gone over and over and over. Has stepped through those disgusting, ornate doors into rooms more sickening than the last. Every death in reality by his own hands makes the world more disturbing in Shido's palace. Akechi checks every single time.]
A boss battle - do you really think it would come to that? Actually, let me rephrase -
[Slow. Quiet. Tense. He wants to burn the ship to the ground, watch the filth of humanity sink into the depths of that ocean, let the rats float to the surface and find no ground left to attach to.
He can't fucking wait and-
His cup is placed back on the table - gentle and without a clink. Akechi's always eager to fight. Attack. Conquer. Dominate.
Shido is different. There's a plan to be followed, a path to tread and a world for only Akechi Goro to see. Maruki may be with him in distorted, vivid words. In memories, but he does not belong there.]
Don't bother trying. Am I clear?
[ Huh.
They're talking at cross-purposes here. Maruki was merely making a joke about the current absurd circumstances they find themselves in – really, video game cognitions in a medieval peasant's village? – but the way Akechi answers–
Measured. Low. Pulled so taut, one sudden move could snap the strings.
It's more serious than the situation warrants if all they have to worry about is Somnius' special brand of bullshit.
Does he think that Maruki would try to take down Masayoshi Shido?
No. Maybe. But there's something more at a play. He doesn't know yet. He feels so close to knowing, it's maddening.
For the time being, all he can do is take Akechi's words with the gravity they deserve and nod. ]
Heard and understood, Akechi.
[ Don't bother trying.
If you find yourself there, leave. If you manage to get in, refrain.
There's something. There's something. ]
We ought to get out of here, don't you think?
[ Maybe they'll run into a ridiculous monstrosity to fight. It might be good stress relief.
Or maybe they'll run into another nightmare from home and he'll have Akechi's reactions in his peripherals, pieces of the puzzle he's been solving for months slowly coming together. ]
They're talking at cross-purposes here. Maruki was merely making a joke about the current absurd circumstances they find themselves in – really, video game cognitions in a medieval peasant's village? – but the way Akechi answers–
Measured. Low. Pulled so taut, one sudden move could snap the strings.
It's more serious than the situation warrants if all they have to worry about is Somnius' special brand of bullshit.
Does he think that Maruki would try to take down Masayoshi Shido?
No. Maybe. But there's something more at a play. He doesn't know yet. He feels so close to knowing, it's maddening.
For the time being, all he can do is take Akechi's words with the gravity they deserve and nod. ]
Heard and understood, Akechi.
[ Don't bother trying.
If you find yourself there, leave. If you manage to get in, refrain.
There's something. There's something. ]
We ought to get out of here, don't you think?
[ Maybe they'll run into a ridiculous monstrosity to fight. It might be good stress relief.
Or maybe they'll run into another nightmare from home and he'll have Akechi's reactions in his peripherals, pieces of the puzzle he's been solving for months slowly coming together. ]
Edited 2024-07-08 06:22 (UTC)
I'll stay a bit longer - feel free to leave.
[Heard and understood - the latter part impossible for him to fully comprehend.
Heard and understood - like he fully grasps the goddamn situation he's in. We ought to get out of here with golden idols in his peripherals. A taunt from a god he can't see hammering a nail into his skull, bit by bit. Caffeine isn't helping. A drink isn't helping. Dan in the background isn't fucking helping.
Leaving would help. A battle, a walk - anything that doesn't involve sitting here in this uncomfortable chair, staring at the swirls on the table and walls.
But he doesn't move. His fingers stay wrapped around the rapidly cooling cup, the too bright gold twinkles in flickering candlelight in the corner of his eye. He should move and doesn't. Should leave, but won't. Decides he wants to stay anyway because the pathetic doppelganger may return in a swirl of fury when a job is left undone.
He offers an all too pleasant smile and removes one hand from the cup to wave towards the door. Offhand. Casual.]
Before I forget - do be careful. Often it doesn't matter who accepts the quest, there's a great deal of collateral involved in any choice. Try to stay cautious on your way home.
[Heard and understood - the latter part impossible for him to fully comprehend.
Heard and understood - like he fully grasps the goddamn situation he's in. We ought to get out of here with golden idols in his peripherals. A taunt from a god he can't see hammering a nail into his skull, bit by bit. Caffeine isn't helping. A drink isn't helping. Dan in the background isn't fucking helping.
Leaving would help. A battle, a walk - anything that doesn't involve sitting here in this uncomfortable chair, staring at the swirls on the table and walls.
But he doesn't move. His fingers stay wrapped around the rapidly cooling cup, the too bright gold twinkles in flickering candlelight in the corner of his eye. He should move and doesn't. Should leave, but won't. Decides he wants to stay anyway because the pathetic doppelganger may return in a swirl of fury when a job is left undone.
He offers an all too pleasant smile and removes one hand from the cup to wave towards the door. Offhand. Casual.]
Before I forget - do be careful. Often it doesn't matter who accepts the quest, there's a great deal of collateral involved in any choice. Try to stay cautious on your way home.
[ How they left things at the club still sits with Maruki, may never truly leave him.
He hears that tone, those words of warning. Sees that saccharine smile and that carefree gesture.
Nothing passes over his face at all for a moment. Pure static snow, a perfectly blank expression before he settles back into his seat, ankle crossed over knee, and folds his hands in his lap. ]
No. I'm good here.
[ If Akechi wants to get rid of him, then he better do it as himself, not as the Detective Prince.
If not– they're both staying until he decides to leave. Maruki has nothing better to do.
This is a good lesson. ]
He hears that tone, those words of warning. Sees that saccharine smile and that carefree gesture.
Nothing passes over his face at all for a moment. Pure static snow, a perfectly blank expression before he settles back into his seat, ankle crossed over knee, and folds his hands in his lap. ]
No. I'm good here.
[ If Akechi wants to get rid of him, then he better do it as himself, not as the Detective Prince.
If not– they're both staying until he decides to leave. Maruki has nothing better to do.
This is a good lesson. ]
[The petty annoyances around him all disperse and retarget Maruki the second he slides back into his seat. The moment his face shifts into an expression of pure neutrality that Akechi's come to recognize and hate - a visceral sensation in his gut, his chest, rising and looming like an eruption on the brink.
An eruption he wants to see in others. In Maruki. He can match that petulance in spades and-
Late morning shifts into afternoon. Akechi waits for him to leave. He doesn't.
They don't talk again - phones come out, cups refilled, snacks purchased and set between them untouched. A peace offering ignored and refused by both.
Akechi doesn't stand. Doesn't move. Barely crosses and uncrosses legs and arms in the hours against the shitty chair.
Maruki doesn't either.
The world behind windows gets darker - Maruki is still fucking there, comfortable and quiet as he runs his thumb along the phone screen.
He hates Maruki Takuto with every fiber of his being - doesn't understand what this obstinance does for him. Understands it a little too well, when he thinks too long on it, and forgets to drown out thoughts with glasses of water.
It's annoying. Irritating. Infuriating in the way Akechi almost texts him his immense displeasure about instead of continuing this charade and-
Comfortable. Calming. Two sensations he's so unaccustomed to happening in tandem, he would rather tear through Maruki's throat with blunted butter knife than acknowledge it again.
So he doesn't. Akechi shifts - hits Maruki's leg in response with his foot. 'My apologies' he says, for the first time in hours. Thirty minutes later - a response comes with a whap of Maruki's napkin against his head - light and covered up with an exaggerated stretch and a 'Sorry' that doesn't sound apologetic at all.
Unfuckingreal.
Dan leaves. Everyone leaves. Shitty looks come their way. Tables cleared. Windows shut. Employees vanish and-
Finally, Akechi has to relent for the sake of shopkeeper glaring daggers at two people who held a table all day ordering water and the bare minimum to eat.
The pastry is still untouched. Akechi grabs it when he stands to leave and-
He hates Maruki Takuto.]
An eruption he wants to see in others. In Maruki. He can match that petulance in spades and-
Late morning shifts into afternoon. Akechi waits for him to leave. He doesn't.
They don't talk again - phones come out, cups refilled, snacks purchased and set between them untouched. A peace offering ignored and refused by both.
Akechi doesn't stand. Doesn't move. Barely crosses and uncrosses legs and arms in the hours against the shitty chair.
Maruki doesn't either.
The world behind windows gets darker - Maruki is still fucking there, comfortable and quiet as he runs his thumb along the phone screen.
He hates Maruki Takuto with every fiber of his being - doesn't understand what this obstinance does for him. Understands it a little too well, when he thinks too long on it, and forgets to drown out thoughts with glasses of water.
It's annoying. Irritating. Infuriating in the way Akechi almost texts him his immense displeasure about instead of continuing this charade and-
Comfortable. Calming. Two sensations he's so unaccustomed to happening in tandem, he would rather tear through Maruki's throat with blunted butter knife than acknowledge it again.
So he doesn't. Akechi shifts - hits Maruki's leg in response with his foot. 'My apologies' he says, for the first time in hours. Thirty minutes later - a response comes with a whap of Maruki's napkin against his head - light and covered up with an exaggerated stretch and a 'Sorry' that doesn't sound apologetic at all.
Unfuckingreal.
Dan leaves. Everyone leaves. Shitty looks come their way. Tables cleared. Windows shut. Employees vanish and-
Finally, Akechi has to relent for the sake of shopkeeper glaring daggers at two people who held a table all day ordering water and the bare minimum to eat.
The pastry is still untouched. Akechi grabs it when he stands to leave and-
He hates Maruki Takuto.]
[Listen. She should actually be winning a self-control award right now for not responding to this in public, but Kenma doesn’t need that in his notifications.
[Hi, doc! Thanks for saving Aubrey’s life and being cordial about the alcohol incident. This is the thanks you get:]
Hey. I saw your reply to Kenma.
”Well, I think we learned a valuable lesson in being careful what we wish for, didn’t we?” <- Is Akechi using your phone or something? The fuck.
You’re the counselor. The guy’s already sorry - I don’t think you need to rub it in.
[“ThAt’S aN iNtErEsTiNg TaKe On ThE sItUaTiOn”]
Look.
Okay! This world sucks! Be skeptical and don’t want life to be a game or whatever!
Do you have to tell him this while it’s still fucked up? It’s already done.
You see what.
[She considers leaving it at that, but he can see the damn post and all its replies…] And yeah. What are you getting at?
I'm sorry that my rather blunt approach to a topic I'm familiar with upset you because it was aimed at your friend. I certainly understand the desire to defend those we're close to, but I hold no ill will toward him whatsoever. I'm merely stating facts. We would all do well to tread more cautiously in a place as volatile as this.
You could state it a little more tactfully.
[—Hm.
[Hold on.
[Critical hypocrisy mass being reached, please hold for processing.]
Yeah, I know I’m one to talk.
Guess that’s why it stuck out so much.
Whatever. I get upset by random shit all the time.
[Foot. Mouth. Whatever! Still feels rude to her! She’ll go take it out on a crate or something.
[ … ]
You don’t have to apologize.
[Starts to write It was a harmless wish—
[Checks again, because he means the wish for an arcade, yeah?
[“I don’t really get what you’re trying to say.”
[Fuck her, actually.]
You can both say sorry all you want. Doesn’t change anything.
I’m already over it, for the record. It doesn’t matter.
[ Oh, so now Akechi gets to decide when they have a deep discussion about Maruki's self-worth? Is that what's happening here? Is that how ffffffffrallies treat each other???
Could have just ignored the midnight text, Takuto. Could have just rolled over and gone back to sleep. But noooooooo.
Son of a bitch. ]
Could have just ignored the midnight text, Takuto. Could have just rolled over and gone back to sleep. But noooooooo.
Son of a bitch. ]
[As if MARUKI WAS EVER IN CHARGE OF DECIDING THAT.]
I'm accustomed to dealing with rainchecks. Trust me, I won't forget.
But I feel it necessary to speak about it now.
You're a man that seems to do an extensive amount of self-reflection. Have you given this any thought?
I'm accustomed to dealing with rainchecks. Trust me, I won't forget.
But I feel it necessary to speak about it now.
You're a man that seems to do an extensive amount of self-reflection. Have you given this any thought?
A shame, considering you had all that time on vacation to give it even the barest amount of attention.
You even choose to clean the rooms of others before giving it a single thought. Isn't that interesting?
I wonder what you're so afraid of. It isn't like you.
You even choose to clean the rooms of others before giving it a single thought. Isn't that interesting?
I wonder what you're so afraid of. It isn't like you.
Edited 2024-07-05 02:03 (UTC)
For one - by the very people you counsel. You provide boundaries and then don't abide by them. They exploit you for a free service - some even refuse to do the bare minimum you ask and yet, you continue to see them. No consequences, no issues.
I imagine some get special treatment too, at the detriment of yourself. It's often the case. People are inclined to take a mile from the inch given.
But my feelings on your patients are clear. I won't digress.
The issue stands in the matter of more dire scenarios - of being exploited by someone stronger than a whiner. Someone inclined to control. A person who sees you as even less than a personal service.
I imagine some get special treatment too, at the detriment of yourself. It's often the case. People are inclined to take a mile from the inch given.
But my feelings on your patients are clear. I won't digress.
The issue stands in the matter of more dire scenarios - of being exploited by someone stronger than a whiner. Someone inclined to control. A person who sees you as even less than a personal service.
[ As with so many things Akechi says, it hurts and heals at the same time. Feels good to have that acknowledged by someone else, feels bad to acknowledge it himself. ]
I know. And I don't like it any more than you do.
But I suppose I'm only going to prove your point by saying that I believe people need someone in their corner more than I need - well, anything. Trust me, Akechi, I hear what I'm saying. You don't need to point it out.
There's more I could say on the topic, but moving on to your true point...
Yes, that's always a danger. I like to think I'm good at reading people and can tell when someone is genuinely manipulative, as opposed to simply emotionally needy. That said, I'm not infallible. When it comes to someone with the motive and means to exploit someone to truly do harm, I'm as exploitable as anyone else is.
I know. And I don't like it any more than you do.
But I suppose I'm only going to prove your point by saying that I believe people need someone in their corner more than I need - well, anything. Trust me, Akechi, I hear what I'm saying. You don't need to point it out.
There's more I could say on the topic, but moving on to your true point...
Yes, that's always a danger. I like to think I'm good at reading people and can tell when someone is genuinely manipulative, as opposed to simply emotionally needy. That said, I'm not infallible. When it comes to someone with the motive and means to exploit someone to truly do harm, I'm as exploitable as anyone else is.
And what good is someone in your corner when they don't practice what they preach?
What good is a person trying to lecture you on values they themselves don't abide by?
What good is a hypocrite to someone in need of help?
A parent teaches a child by enforcing rules they, themselves, follow. A child learns the rules by witnessing the actions of a parent.
A counselor who purveys and preaches a way to live, while their visible actions dictate they do otherwise - it's interesting, is all, how people justify their own shortcomings.
Being exploitable is a choice, not a consequence of an unjust world. You choose to let others control you or you don't. You choose to abide by boundaries, or you don't.
Those who exploit will do it by any means necessary and are never satisfied. You have to be at the top of your game with no vulnerabilities they can spot. I can see yours from a mile away.
What good is a person trying to lecture you on values they themselves don't abide by?
What good is a hypocrite to someone in need of help?
A parent teaches a child by enforcing rules they, themselves, follow. A child learns the rules by witnessing the actions of a parent.
A counselor who purveys and preaches a way to live, while their visible actions dictate they do otherwise - it's interesting, is all, how people justify their own shortcomings.
Being exploitable is a choice, not a consequence of an unjust world. You choose to let others control you or you don't. You choose to abide by boundaries, or you don't.
Those who exploit will do it by any means necessary and are never satisfied. You have to be at the top of your game with no vulnerabilities they can spot. I can see yours from a mile away.
You're counseling the counselor right now, you know that, right?
I'm joking... mostly.
I agree with you. I'll even take what you've said a step farther: I realize that I get away with this hypocritical behavior because, for the most part, the people who need my services are so wrapped up in themselves and in viewing me in terms of my role that they don't have much interest in analyzing my behavior outside of our sessions.
"For the most part" being the keywords there. But I don't want to digress too much.
Do you think that your own vulnerabilities aren't easily spotted? That's a genuine question.
I'm joking... mostly.
I agree with you. I'll even take what you've said a step farther: I realize that I get away with this hypocritical behavior because, for the most part, the people who need my services are so wrapped up in themselves and in viewing me in terms of my role that they don't have much interest in analyzing my behavior outside of our sessions.
"For the most part" being the keywords there. But I don't want to digress too much.
Do you think that your own vulnerabilities aren't easily spotted? That's a genuine question.
As long as you're aware and know it's an issue. I suppose that's all I can ask. I'm not suited for any type of counselor role, but I'll assume the point of such discussions with them are to bring things to light over settling on a specific answer.
It's not so different discussing philosophy in that way.
My vulnerabilities exist, of course, as few as there are. I'm only human, but they aren't visible or exploitable unless I allow it.
It's not so different discussing philosophy in that way.
My vulnerabilities exist, of course, as few as there are. I'm only human, but they aren't visible or exploitable unless I allow it.
That's correct. I never have the answers for anyone. And that irritates some people! But I really am just here to have conversations like this and draw these hidden truths and pains out into the light.
You can imagine that the opposite doesn't happen very frequently. So while I truly was kidding about you counseling me, I still have to thank you for talking to me like this at all. Few do.
Okay, I'll bite. How do you safeguard yourself like that? What you have in place to ensure those with nefarious intent can't see or exploit your weaknesses?
You can imagine that the opposite doesn't happen very frequently. So while I truly was kidding about you counseling me, I still have to thank you for talking to me like this at all. Few do.
Okay, I'll bite. How do you safeguard yourself like that? What you have in place to ensure those with nefarious intent can't see or exploit your weaknesses?
Edited (words. tired) 2024-07-05 03:32 (UTC)
Not be rude, but I'm not surprised some who wallow in your office have difficulty realizing they need to do something for themselves, instead of allowing someone else to choose a path for them.
And you're welcome. As stated, it's a discussion I've owed you and I got tired of waiting for you to take the first step.
I'll let you in on a secret - one I suspect you've gleaned in our time together. It's about a maintainable image. I'm not talking about my celebrity one, though it is a necessary mask to wear.
It's an infallible one. No cracks, no way for them to slip a noose over your head or a gun to your back - hypothetically, of course.
You provide a weakness to them, like bait on a lure. You can even let them control you to an extent, to get the metaphorical monkey of your back. Never allow that inch to become a mile. Never give in more than necessary. Allow them to see what you want them to, so they'll look away when they think they know all of you.
Of course, that's a rather extreme scenario and a hypothetical I have yet to encounter.
It simply comes down to willpower and self-control.
And you're welcome. As stated, it's a discussion I've owed you and I got tired of waiting for you to take the first step.
I'll let you in on a secret - one I suspect you've gleaned in our time together. It's about a maintainable image. I'm not talking about my celebrity one, though it is a necessary mask to wear.
It's an infallible one. No cracks, no way for them to slip a noose over your head or a gun to your back - hypothetically, of course.
You provide a weakness to them, like bait on a lure. You can even let them control you to an extent, to get the metaphorical monkey of your back. Never allow that inch to become a mile. Never give in more than necessary. Allow them to see what you want them to, so they'll look away when they think they know all of you.
Of course, that's a rather extreme scenario and a hypothetical I have yet to encounter.
It simply comes down to willpower and self-control.
Sorry, I just had to check on another example to make sure it was still hypothetical.
What were we saying? Ah, yes.
I certainly understand the importance of maintaining an image as a means of self-defense. Where we differ is that the image I've cultivated is exploitable by design, and not as a means of baiting anyone. So the question becomes: Fortify what I've already built, or tear it down and start anew? Either way, it would raise suspicion if - pardon my language - I suddenly started being much more of a hardass.
We're talking about my life as a counselor, but we're also not talking about that.
I'd like us to speak less obliquely about this, but I won't do it yet if you'd prefer to wait. Up to you.
What were we saying? Ah, yes.
I certainly understand the importance of maintaining an image as a means of self-defense. Where we differ is that the image I've cultivated is exploitable by design, and not as a means of baiting anyone. So the question becomes: Fortify what I've already built, or tear it down and start anew? Either way, it would raise suspicion if - pardon my language - I suddenly started being much more of a hardass.
We're talking about my life as a counselor, but we're also not talking about that.
I'd like us to speak less obliquely about this, but I won't do it yet if you'd prefer to wait. Up to you.
[The fuck?
Maruki needs a break - Akechi's on the network to pass the time when-
Door opens. Maruki enters. The statue makes a loud thump that goes against the so called 'quiet hours' Akechi has to abide by. Interesting. Goddamn hypocrite.
It rights itself immediately - turns to stare at him.
He fucking hates this place.]
Maruki needs a break - Akechi's on the network to pass the time when-
Door opens. Maruki enters. The statue makes a loud thump that goes against the so called 'quiet hours' Akechi has to abide by. Interesting. Goddamn hypocrite.
It rights itself immediately - turns to stare at him.
He fucking hates this place.]
[Alright.
OKAY. No good deed goes unpunished - Maruki owes him several matches instead of the one.]
It wouldn't be a look you could pull off, quite frankly. A 'hardass' would have difficulty begging for backrubs on the network.
Feel free to state what you want.
OKAY. No good deed goes unpunished - Maruki owes him several matches instead of the one.]
It wouldn't be a look you could pull off, quite frankly. A 'hardass' would have difficulty begging for backrubs on the network.
Feel free to state what you want.
[ He's not rising to that bait. Not right now. But he is going to whack Akechi the next chance he gets. Bastard. ]
You're trying to warn me that I'm going to be exploited for my continuing work in cognitive psience - especially now that I'm aware of the cognitive world, personas, etc. - and those who would exploit me for that are far more powerful, manipulative and slippery than run of the mill counseling patients who take advantage of my availability.
How I'm exploited now is emotionally draining and tiresome. How I could be exploited in the future is actively dangerous.
While I do need to strengthen my boundaries with my patients, I also need to get better at wearing a mask in my dealings with those in our true reality who could do real harm to me so that I don't give them any more opportunity than they already have.
And just as an aside to all of this: I told you that I believe my research was stolen, so this has already begun happening.
Am I on the right track here?
You're trying to warn me that I'm going to be exploited for my continuing work in cognitive psience - especially now that I'm aware of the cognitive world, personas, etc. - and those who would exploit me for that are far more powerful, manipulative and slippery than run of the mill counseling patients who take advantage of my availability.
How I'm exploited now is emotionally draining and tiresome. How I could be exploited in the future is actively dangerous.
While I do need to strengthen my boundaries with my patients, I also need to get better at wearing a mask in my dealings with those in our true reality who could do real harm to me so that I don't give them any more opportunity than they already have.
And just as an aside to all of this: I told you that I believe my research was stolen, so this has already begun happening.
Am I on the right track here?
[The blunt words feel sharp against his skull - a topic danced around again and again in blinding light, despite Akechi's dark room.
Even if he were to say 'no' at this point, the damage has been done a thousand times over with every piece of knowledge he's provided, every time he failed by not saying 'no' previously.
What does it matter what an ant knows when a foot is hovering over them?]
I can't confirm or deny anything per the standards of my position. I take my job seriously.
Even if he were to say 'no' at this point, the damage has been done a thousand times over with every piece of knowledge he's provided, every time he failed by not saying 'no' previously.
What does it matter what an ant knows when a foot is hovering over them?]
I can't confirm or deny anything per the standards of my position. I take my job seriously.
Edited 2024-07-05 04:41 (UTC)
[ And there it is. ]
Heard and understood.
Thanks.
I fear I've seemed a little flippant, but I promise I'm taking everything you've said to heart. And I'll try to begin bolstering my own best practices here so I'm better prepared to do so when we return to the true reality.
However, if this ends in mobs of emotionally compromised individuals upset that I take two days off instead of one, I'm sending them to you.
Heard and understood.
Thanks.
I fear I've seemed a little flippant, but I promise I'm taking everything you've said to heart. And I'll try to begin bolstering my own best practices here so I'm better prepared to do so when we return to the true reality.
However, if this ends in mobs of emotionally compromised individuals upset that I take two days off instead of one, I'm sending them to you.
There is no confirmed way to enter the cognitive world in our reality. I want to make that clear to you now.
If you find yourself there, leave. If you manage to get in, refrain.
My investigation relies on your compliance with this. My request is not forever. I understand your need to research it - I wouldn't deny you that, though I will always advise against it as a member of law enforcement.
While I cannot give a date, it will be made clear to you when the matter is resolved. My hope is-
Within a month or so of my return. Before New Year's Day, more than likely.
Can I trust you to abide by this?
If you find yourself there, leave. If you manage to get in, refrain.
My investigation relies on your compliance with this. My request is not forever. I understand your need to research it - I wouldn't deny you that, though I will always advise against it as a member of law enforcement.
While I cannot give a date, it will be made clear to you when the matter is resolved. My hope is-
Within a month or so of my return. Before New Year's Day, more than likely.
Can I trust you to abide by this?
[ Screenshot, saved.
Maruki will remember this. Both for the promise and the questions it will bring up in the future – for whatever little future they have left here, he'll find out before they leave. ]
Of course, Akechi. I'll agree to that.
In fact - can I offer you a deal?
Maruki will remember this. Both for the promise and the questions it will bring up in the future – for whatever little future they have left here, he'll find out before they leave. ]
Of course, Akechi. I'll agree to that.
In fact - can I offer you a deal?
[Relief isn't a sensation that surges through him often. He can count the number of times on his fingers with profound clarity on what caused it.
He doesn't feel relived now. Maruki's promise doesn't stop the mark of death from spreading across his body. It was there. Still is. The chances may be slimmer, if he can lower the man's importance and remove him from the radar.
If he can't-
Then nothing changes. It doesn't matter. Maruki's weak to gun in reality.]
Thank you. I'm pleased to hear it.
What sort of deal?
He doesn't feel relived now. Maruki's promise doesn't stop the mark of death from spreading across his body. It was there. Still is. The chances may be slimmer, if he can lower the man's importance and remove him from the radar.
If he can't-
Then nothing changes. It doesn't matter. Maruki's weak to gun in reality.]
Thank you. I'm pleased to hear it.
What sort of deal?
You already said we should meet up at the shrine on the first day of the year. Why don't we do that, then see if we can't access the cognitive world together?
If I'm able to enter it, it would only feel right to do so for the first time with you. Besides, strength in numbers.
If I'm able to enter it, it would only feel right to do so for the first time with you. Besides, strength in numbers.
[They're not friends - barely allies. They don't meet up and wander into realities together, like an afterschool hangout session in some shitty teenager's home.
They don't.
They won't.
Can't.
Akechi's response-
Takes awhile. A minute. Two. Time passes strangely in the dark. The night before he was set to take care of Joker-
Felt the same.
He screenshots the message. Deletes it. He wishes the room had a heater, despite being in the midst of summer.]
I would enjoy that, Maruki.
They don't.
They won't.
Can't.
Akechi's response-
Takes awhile. A minute. Two. Time passes strangely in the dark. The night before he was set to take care of Joker-
Felt the same.
He screenshots the message. Deletes it. He wishes the room had a heater, despite being in the midst of summer.]
I would enjoy that, Maruki.
Jean and I moved back into the big bedroom.
It doesn't feel right. There's too much room.
[About this, Maruki is the only person Eren feels he can truly talk to.]
I miss her.
[It's the first time he's said that.]
It doesn't feel right. There's too much room.
[About this, Maruki is the only person Eren feels he can truly talk to.]
I miss her.
[It's the first time he's said that.]
I don't know that anything I could say would be a comfort for something that huge, and that inherent to who you are, so I won't try.
It's a horrific thing. I won't pretend it isn't.
I'm here for you regardless, Eren.
It's a horrific thing. I won't pretend it isn't.
I'm here for you regardless, Eren.
Edited (YOU EVER JUST FULLY NOT PASTE A WHOLE LINE. JESUS) 2024-07-09 05:16 (UTC)
I can't answer that. But I can point out that all of that is true, and she loves you anyway, and you love her. In every reality, it seems, that's a constant.
The choices we make and have to live with are a part of us as much as that kind of persistent love is. One doesn't outweigh the other.
The choices we make and have to live with are a part of us as much as that kind of persistent love is. One doesn't outweigh the other.
I told you about my fiancée and how we had to go our separate ways. That wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole story. Very, very few people know this, but...
We both witnessed her parents' murder. She was so traumatized after the attack that she couldn't even talk. The only times she spoke were when she became lucid enough to realize I was in the room.
And when she did, she began to relive that night. She would break down completely. For months, I never could get through to her without triggering those memories.
In order for her to heal, I had to let her go and leave her life completely. I had to let her forget me. It was the worst thing I've ever done. And I would do it again, over and over, so that she could have a chance at a happier life.
Her name was Rumi. I don't think I told you that either.
All that to say - it isn't exactly the same situation, but it's similar enough that I understand what you're struggling with. Choosing their lives and happiness over yours, even if it hurts yourself or others. I get it.
We both witnessed her parents' murder. She was so traumatized after the attack that she couldn't even talk. The only times she spoke were when she became lucid enough to realize I was in the room.
And when she did, she began to relive that night. She would break down completely. For months, I never could get through to her without triggering those memories.
In order for her to heal, I had to let her go and leave her life completely. I had to let her forget me. It was the worst thing I've ever done. And I would do it again, over and over, so that she could have a chance at a happier life.
Her name was Rumi. I don't think I told you that either.
All that to say - it isn't exactly the same situation, but it's similar enough that I understand what you're struggling with. Choosing their lives and happiness over yours, even if it hurts yourself or others. I get it.
That's a feeling I understand too. It's a horrific position that we've both been in. I don't want anyone to have to feel this way, least of all someone who has become as important to me as you have.
But we understand. That counts for something, even if it's terrible.
But we understand. That counts for something, even if it's terrible.
I feel this way. For everyone important in my life. That they understand something no one else can.
I felt that way for all of them. I told them all goodbye. [He's cycling again.]
Maruki. I do understand.
I ripped them all apart. I hurt them all so badly. But I had to. Nothing else would have worked. I had to.
I felt that way for all of them. I told them all goodbye. [He's cycling again.]
Maruki. I do understand.
I ripped them all apart. I hurt them all so badly. But I had to. Nothing else would have worked. I had to.
[Breathing. Clearing your mind. Breathing. Focusing.
[His memories are all his own. They're hard to keep at bay - but he shouldn't want to, right?]
We were always doomed, I think. They call our race's abilities a curse.
But I put and end to that, too...
[His memories are all his own. They're hard to keep at bay - but he shouldn't want to, right?]
We were always doomed, I think. They call our race's abilities a curse.
But I put and end to that, too...
[Oh, how grief so easily shifts into rage.]
It's only the curse that they made it.
Ymir wanted freedom. In the end, she wanted revenge. I don't blame her. I still remember her as clearly as any friend I've ever known.
She built our bodies by hand, day in and day out for all of infinite time. She made us who we are. She's a demon to them, and maybe that's true, but she's right to be for all they've done. [She wanted it as badly as Eren did. She, too, understood him in a way that no one else could.]
The ability to shift into titans lives in Eldian blood, but it was only accesssed by Marleyians injecting spinal fluid into our goddamn veins as punishment for dirty devil blood.
If it's a goddamn curse, good. CURSE THOSE MISERABLE FUCKING BASTARDS.
It's only the curse that they made it.
Ymir wanted freedom. In the end, she wanted revenge. I don't blame her. I still remember her as clearly as any friend I've ever known.
She built our bodies by hand, day in and day out for all of infinite time. She made us who we are. She's a demon to them, and maybe that's true, but she's right to be for all they've done. [She wanted it as badly as Eren did. She, too, understood him in a way that no one else could.]
The ability to shift into titans lives in Eldian blood, but it was only accesssed by Marleyians injecting spinal fluid into our goddamn veins as punishment for dirty devil blood.
If it's a goddamn curse, good. CURSE THOSE MISERABLE FUCKING BASTARDS.
[Maruki's right, judging by how long it takes Eren to even process the words he's reading. His mind is a blur of memories yet again - hers, despite him being unable to access the Founder's power, be close to her again.
[This is something Maruki will probably never understand, though, maybe one day, Eren should ask...
[It takes him quite a while to respond; all this while lying still in bed - he's getting good at exploding quietly.]
Okay.
[This is something Maruki will probably never understand, though, maybe one day, Eren should ask...
[It takes him quite a while to respond; all this while lying still in bed - he's getting good at exploding quietly.]
Okay.
[Some familiar shame threatens to encroach - he shouldn't be thinking that way, but he does. He'd never admit it to Jean (though he knows), Levi (though he probably knows), Erwin (though he suspects); wouldn't admit it to almost anyone, really.
[Subaru. Maruki. Akechi. That's it...
[Maruki isn't shaming Eren, though. "Good work," he says.]
I keep waiting to burn out.
[Subaru. Maruki. Akechi. That's it...
[Maruki isn't shaming Eren, though. "Good work," he says.]
I keep waiting to burn out.
Don't worry about it.
[ ... : ) ]
Don't tell him I told you this, but since the very first week I opened, Akechi has booked the last appointment of the week. He won't ever admit it, but he does it just so I can take a break. I usually fall asleep then too.
We all need our rest.
[ ... : ) ]
Don't tell him I told you this, but since the very first week I opened, Akechi has booked the last appointment of the week. He won't ever admit it, but he does it just so I can take a break. I usually fall asleep then too.
We all need our rest.
Edited 2024-07-09 07:05 (UTC)
Trust me, he has a convoluted cover story for it. I play along, but his true intention has become clear.
And you've brought me lunch every day since that week too. You're both extremely helpful. I'm so grateful.
But... you're not sleeping much otherwise, huh?
And you've brought me lunch every day since that week too. You're both extremely helpful. I'm so grateful.
But... you're not sleeping much otherwise, huh?
Not in a bed. At Eyn Sof, I just pass out and completely go black for an hour or two. A few days ago, I fell asleep in the road. A couple days after that, I fell asleep on the floor in Armin's room. I don't know.
I've always slept better next to someone else, but [It can't be her.] I just can't lately.
I've always slept better next to someone else, but [It can't be her.] I just can't lately.
[ This is, quite honestly, the least surprising thing Eren has ever told him. ]
Well, my own sleep habits are terrible, so I'm not about to lecture you. Just come nap here whenever you want.
Strangely, though, I don't dream now that Azathoth has returned to me. You would think that would make sleep more restful, but...
Well, my own sleep habits are terrible, so I'm not about to lecture you. Just come nap here whenever you want.
Strangely, though, I don't dream now that Azathoth has returned to me. You would think that would make sleep more restful, but...
No, I don't think that's something it can actually do for me or anyone else. It's probably more like my mind is still adjusting... or something. I'm not sure. It's a complicated feeling.
Sorry. I didn't mean to give you false hope.
Sorry. I didn't mean to give you false hope.
Edited (important addition) 2024-07-09 07:44 (UTC)
[It's been a little more than the few days Li Lianhua had promised Maruki for settling into his new home. The ingredients and good health necessary for a two-day mooncake baking spree weren't easy to come by and he went through two batches of ruined dough and at least three batches of unsatisfactory fillings before he got it right.
And then, of course, everyone else had to get their fill. Maruki is last on the list, but on the list he is indeed, and Li Lianhua even made use of the annoying little device to announce himself first. He had to make sure that man actually had time to prepare that strawberry treat he'd been promised, after all. He's not taking this walk a second time.
Li Lianhua is accompanied on his walk by his dog Huli Jing and ambles up to the castle, basket in hand. If he has to wait long after knocking on the door, he's going to start investigating the front yard for what the planting situation is around here.]
And then, of course, everyone else had to get their fill. Maruki is last on the list, but on the list he is indeed, and Li Lianhua even made use of the annoying little device to announce himself first. He had to make sure that man actually had time to prepare that strawberry treat he'd been promised, after all. He's not taking this walk a second time.
Li Lianhua is accompanied on his walk by his dog Huli Jing and ambles up to the castle, basket in hand. If he has to wait long after knocking on the door, he's going to start investigating the front yard for what the planting situation is around here.]
[ The warning is appreciated, especially considering the state Maruki is still in after the labyrinth.
Luckily, what he wanted to make isn't so involved. A simple dessert, but a delightful one, and hopefully to Li Lianhua's liking. Even with his dominant arm in a sling, he can still beat cream and sugar together, can still slice strawberries.
Bread is the main issue – by design, it isn't what he would be able to buy or even make in Tokyo. He compromises by going out as soon as he receives Li Lianhua's message and purchasing the freshest loaf of soft bread he can find. It still isn't truly comparable, but it will do in a pinch.
It's not that he makes Li Lianhua wait on purpose, but he's upstairs when the knock comes – has to warn Akechi about his presence and then get into a minor polite disagreement over castle guests – has to make his way down while he's still moving slowly – so by the time he finally makes it to the door, he sees the man poking about their landscaping.
Maruki shuts the door behind him. They can do this exchange outside. Even before Akechi bitched, he didn't want Li Lianhua inside the castle, so this works. ]
Hi there, I'm sorry I kept you waiting! You– ah, wait, you have a dog?
[ He grins, wide and genuine, and shifts the small brown paper bag into the crook of his arm. When he moves closer, it's slow and cautious, just in case.
Aside from his right arm in its sling and the stiff way he moves, every visible inch of Maruki's skin is covered in still-healing cuts, scrapes and bruises, including the left hand he extends for the dog to sniff if it would like. ]
How cute! What's its name?
Luckily, what he wanted to make isn't so involved. A simple dessert, but a delightful one, and hopefully to Li Lianhua's liking. Even with his dominant arm in a sling, he can still beat cream and sugar together, can still slice strawberries.
Bread is the main issue – by design, it isn't what he would be able to buy or even make in Tokyo. He compromises by going out as soon as he receives Li Lianhua's message and purchasing the freshest loaf of soft bread he can find. It still isn't truly comparable, but it will do in a pinch.
It's not that he makes Li Lianhua wait on purpose, but he's upstairs when the knock comes – has to warn Akechi about his presence and then get into a minor polite disagreement over castle guests – has to make his way down while he's still moving slowly – so by the time he finally makes it to the door, he sees the man poking about their landscaping.
Maruki shuts the door behind him. They can do this exchange outside. Even before Akechi bitched, he didn't want Li Lianhua inside the castle, so this works. ]
Hi there, I'm sorry I kept you waiting! You– ah, wait, you have a dog?
[ He grins, wide and genuine, and shifts the small brown paper bag into the crook of his arm. When he moves closer, it's slow and cautious, just in case.
Aside from his right arm in its sling and the stiff way he moves, every visible inch of Maruki's skin is covered in still-healing cuts, scrapes and bruises, including the left hand he extends for the dog to sniff if it would like. ]
How cute! What's its name?
[By the time the door finally opens, Li Lianhua is a little ways off with his nose in some bushes. Don't worry, this is normal. He rights himself, a quip about half expecting a servant to come out of these fine manor doors on his lips, but Maruki proves faster. Quite a feat, considering the surprisingly rough state of him. Despite what looks like pretty bothersome injuries, he's instantly taken with Huli Jing. Well, that's also expected.
Huli Jing is the very picture of a friendly dog, happily trotting over to sniff the offered hand with his tail wagging and returning any scratches with a relaxed doggy smile. Li Lianhua watches the exchange, smiling politely.]
Ah, that's Huli Jing. He's always glad to make friends. But Doctor Maruki, I wasn't expecting that gathering strawberries would be so dangerous. I'm afraid I won't be able to repay you for your life.
[He says this with a sympathetic wince, gesturing at the man's bandaged arm. Curiosity is a terrible thing.]
Huli Jing is the very picture of a friendly dog, happily trotting over to sniff the offered hand with his tail wagging and returning any scratches with a relaxed doggy smile. Li Lianhua watches the exchange, smiling politely.]
Ah, that's Huli Jing. He's always glad to make friends. But Doctor Maruki, I wasn't expecting that gathering strawberries would be so dangerous. I'm afraid I won't be able to repay you for your life.
[He says this with a sympathetic wince, gesturing at the man's bandaged arm. Curiosity is a terrible thing.]
[ Thank god, the dog seems to like him. It's hardly a given! Maruki loves animals, but they rarely seem to feel the same way about him. What's that all about...
He scritches between Huli Jing's ears and laughs a little at Li Lianhua's obvious prodding. The urge to roll his eyes is sufficiently resisted. ]
Don't worry, this was completely unrelated to our little exchange. You don't need to repay me for anything.
[ Just the mooncakes, please!!
Palm coming down to cup Huli Jing's muzzle and give him a friendly little jostle between pets, Maruki takes a good, long look at Li Lianhua. His brows begin to draw together in clear concern. ]
But you aren't looking too well yourself, Li Lianhua. Is everything alright?
He scritches between Huli Jing's ears and laughs a little at Li Lianhua's obvious prodding. The urge to roll his eyes is sufficiently resisted. ]
Don't worry, this was completely unrelated to our little exchange. You don't need to repay me for anything.
[ Just the mooncakes, please!!
Palm coming down to cup Huli Jing's muzzle and give him a friendly little jostle between pets, Maruki takes a good, long look at Li Lianhua. His brows begin to draw together in clear concern. ]
But you aren't looking too well yourself, Li Lianhua. Is everything alright?
[So this counselor still can't be convinced to talk about himself as easily as most other people. Doctors really make the worst patients. Tsk.
Even Huli Jing seems to think all this jostling is a little much and pulls his head free from Maruki's grasp, shaking all that ruffled fur back into place before nosing at the man's pants in search of hidden pocket treats.
Li Lianhua chuckles, waving off the other's concern.]
No need to worry, Doctor Maruki, no need. I'm afraid I've never been blessed with the best of health and I'm just recovering from a recent cold. But let me tell you, making those mooncakes wasn't as easy as I thought it would be! I really hope whatever Doctor Maruki made for me wasn't too much to ask in his current condition.
Even Huli Jing seems to think all this jostling is a little much and pulls his head free from Maruki's grasp, shaking all that ruffled fur back into place before nosing at the man's pants in search of hidden pocket treats.
Li Lianhua chuckles, waving off the other's concern.]
No need to worry, Doctor Maruki, no need. I'm afraid I've never been blessed with the best of health and I'm just recovering from a recent cold. But let me tell you, making those mooncakes wasn't as easy as I thought it would be! I really hope whatever Doctor Maruki made for me wasn't too much to ask in his current condition.
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