A tea tasting date would be sweet! See, you have good ideas.
Then tell her that. Has she been on a date at all before? It might put her at ease to know that all you really want is to have time alone to talk.
For whatever it's worth, no matter what activity the date centers around, that's usually what they're about in the end. Just talking, getting to know one another - even for two people who have been friends for a while and know each other well already, like you and Aubrey-san do.
If not to put her at ease, then just to let her know. It's such a simple thing, isn't it? To be told that someone you care very much about just wants to talk to you. It's heart warming. She might like to hear it.
Yes, I think that's a great first date. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
Besides... You never know what this place has in store, and sometimes that's meant positively as well. I've heard of some rooms in the labyrinth that would be conducive to a date. Sharing a dream could lend itself to a date.
[ Killing an Archfey together could be considered a date. ]
[ Venat's arm briefly trapped around his chest by a moment of weakness, of affection, of honesty: It might take my own lifetime to hear it all, but I find that I want to know your whole life story.
Yeah, he gets it. ]
That's a sure sign that you love someone, as far as I'm concerned.
And in the meantime, I'll brainstorm more ideas for you. It really is unfortunate that there's only a fraction of what Tokyo has to offer here... I'll need to get creative.
Oh!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed them, and that Subaru-kun got to have a taste of home as well! I have more, if you'd ever like. I have... a lot... hah...
But yes, Tokyo is home to me. I lived my whole life there and never intended to leave. It's my favorite place.
It feels foolish to say hopefully you can experience it one day, but I experienced a bit of Shiganshina through dreams, so perhaps it's not impossible.
It's highly unlikely that we come from the same Tokyo, but I can find out fairly easily sometime. I still haven't actually met Subaru-kun.
I really was joking, though! I don't know everyone. Subaru-kun just happens to be one of the people I don't know.
And anyhow, people don't actually avoid me. If anything, when they think I'm up to something nefarious, they make it a point to hang around me more often...
[That's all he has to say about that, really. Trying to get through to Webby is probably one of the more frustrating things he's had to do in Somnius.]
You know, it's funny - I think you're one of the few people here who never questioned why I do what I do. You wanted to know how it worked, but you didn't have any doubts about my motives.
I should thank you for that. I didn't realize how rare it would be.
I did doubt you, for just a minute, that one time...
I regret that a lot. I never really believed you were doing it for the wrong reasons. The type of person you are is obvious. You just want to help people. I know that.
Maybe you'd put it differently, though. I don't think I've ever asked you why you do what you do either. In your words, I mean.
That was different. I don't regret it. If I'm honest, it did hurt at the time, but I understand now why you had questions... and I do think it was for the best that it happened. I don't want you to regret it either.
Hm. Do you really want to know? I'm happy to answer, but it might get long.
I do want to help people, more than anything. And if you had asked me this question a couple months ago, that's where the answer would have ended.
But it's that altruism that raises people's suspicions. Why would someone do something so emotionally taxing and thankless without getting anything in return?
I had a lot of trouble explaining that "why" in the beginning, even to people who were already familiar with counseling as a concept. It was never enough for me to say that I simply want to help people and it's what I'm meant to do. If anything, that answer only made people more suspicious. It was very stressful... and disheartening, if I'm honest.
Disheartening enough that I brought it up to Venat, who understands what I do better than anyone does. She very quickly helped me see that I do get something out of it, and that it's okay to admit that. It's a more honest answer, and hopefully one that will resonate with people.
So, I guess all that is to say... Why do I do what I do? Because I want to help people, yes. But also because doing so gives me a sense of control. Not over the people that I counsel. Just in the sense that... the world is a hellish place. It's torturous and painful. And it's difficult to feel like what I do matters at all, in the grand scheme of things, but at the end of the day... If I help alleviate even one person's emotional pains, then I'm doing my part to fight back against how deeply we all suffer as a people.
It's not a perfect answer. I'm still working on how to both be honest and have it make sense for anyone outside of my own head. But that's as close as I've come currently.
[Parts of it makes sense; wanting control - that makes more than enough. But Eren's never thought of kindness as a particularly powerful thing. It isn't a bad thing. It matters in its own way - he's never denied that - but it isn't enough; likewise, Maruki healing the emotional wounds of one or two people would have no effect on the tides of a war.
[In the context of one life, though, caged as it may be - well, the fact of the matter is:]
You've helped me. That's one person.
[Come to think of it...
[Maybe only someone like Maruki could have turned that tide. But that's just wishful thinking.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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The lanterns are a good idea. I thought different kinds of tea too, maybe. Like nice kinds.
Really, I just want to talk to her, more than anything.
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Then tell her that. Has she been on a date at all before? It might put her at ease to know that all you really want is to have time alone to talk.
For whatever it's worth, no matter what activity the date centers around, that's usually what they're about in the end. Just talking, getting to know one another - even for two people who have been friends for a while and know each other well already, like you and Aubrey-san do.
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[He...he thinks, yeah--]
I'll tell her, anyway, I guess. If it comes up, or whatever.
You really think that's enough, then?
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Yes, I think that's a great first date. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
Besides... You never know what this place has in store, and sometimes that's meant positively as well. I've heard of some rooms in the labyrinth that would be conducive to a date. Sharing a dream could lend itself to a date.
[ Killing an Archfey together could be considered a date. ]
Best to start simple, then.
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[...]
I want to know everything about Aubrey. I have for a long time.
It's selfish. I told her that I didn't want to tell her the truth about my future, so it isn't really fair that I want her to tell me everything.
Still, I want to know.
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Yeah, he gets it. ]
That's a sure sign that you love someone, as far as I'm concerned.
Don't let it go.
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I won't, then...
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And in the meantime, I'll brainstorm more ideas for you. It really is unfortunate that there's only a fraction of what Tokyo has to offer here... I'll need to get creative.
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I wonder if it's the same one...
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But yes, Tokyo is home to me. I lived my whole life there and never intended to leave. It's my favorite place.
It feels foolish to say hopefully you can experience it one day, but I experienced a bit of Shiganshina through dreams, so perhaps it's not impossible.
It's highly unlikely that we come from the same Tokyo, but I can find out fairly easily sometime. I still haven't actually met Subaru-kun.
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If you were going to see Shiganshina, I wish you'd seen it in a different way.
I'm surprised you haven't met him, yet. It kind of seems like you know everyone.
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And I just realized - you did see my office at Shujin, so at least there's that.
I'm surprised too! But there are a few people who have flown under my radar. Perhaps he avoids me purposefully.
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I CAN'T BELIEVE! I CAN'T BELIEVE! I DIDN'T GET THIS NOTIF!!!
NOT IT WAS FUNNY HE WAS BEING AVOIDED
I really was joking, though! I don't know everyone. Subaru-kun just happens to be one of the people I don't know.
And anyhow, people don't actually avoid me. If anything, when they think I'm up to something nefarious, they make it a point to hang around me more often...
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[No, Eren is not unaware that Levi has his eyes on Maruki, but he...prefers to mind his business about it.]
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She's signed up to be one of my patients.
We'll see what happens.
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Well, good luck with that.
[That's all he has to say about that, really. Trying to get through to Webby is probably one of the more frustrating things he's had to do in Somnius.]
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You know, it's funny - I think you're one of the few people here who never questioned why I do what I do. You wanted to know how it worked, but you didn't have any doubts about my motives.
I should thank you for that. I didn't realize how rare it would be.
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I regret that a lot. I never really believed you were doing it for the wrong reasons. The type of person you are is obvious. You just want to help people. I know that.
Maybe you'd put it differently, though. I don't think I've ever asked you why you do what you do either. In your words, I mean.
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Hm. Do you really want to know? I'm happy to answer, but it might get long.
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But it's that altruism that raises people's suspicions. Why would someone do something so emotionally taxing and thankless without getting anything in return?
I had a lot of trouble explaining that "why" in the beginning, even to people who were already familiar with counseling as a concept. It was never enough for me to say that I simply want to help people and it's what I'm meant to do. If anything, that answer only made people more suspicious. It was very stressful... and disheartening, if I'm honest.
Disheartening enough that I brought it up to Venat, who understands what I do better than anyone does. She very quickly helped me see that I do get something out of it, and that it's okay to admit that. It's a more honest answer, and hopefully one that will resonate with people.
So, I guess all that is to say... Why do I do what I do? Because I want to help people, yes. But also because doing so gives me a sense of control. Not over the people that I counsel. Just in the sense that... the world is a hellish place. It's torturous and painful. And it's difficult to feel like what I do matters at all, in the grand scheme of things, but at the end of the day... If I help alleviate even one person's emotional pains, then I'm doing my part to fight back against how deeply we all suffer as a people.
It's not a perfect answer. I'm still working on how to both be honest and have it make sense for anyone outside of my own head. But that's as close as I've come currently.
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[In the context of one life, though, caged as it may be - well, the fact of the matter is:]
You've helped me. That's one person.
[Come to think of it...
[Maybe only someone like Maruki could have turned that tide. But that's just wishful thinking.]
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cw: strong suicidal ideation
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oh lads have a fun follow-up conversation about this later
they sure do!