[ It's such a sincere offer, such an earnest promise, that Maruki can't help the affection that blooms in his chest and surely shows on his face.
I can handle it. For you.
And isn't that all there is to it, at the end of the day? For the people you love, you'll handle things that you otherwise couldn't.
He reaches out to clap Eren on the shoulder, laughing, overflowing with gratitude. ]
Thank you. I know that you will. I promise to be honest with you going forward.
[ About.............. most things, anyway. Look, no one in Somnius gets total honesty from him, not even Venat. ]
When I first arrived here, you were so concerned for my ability to defend myself and to fight if needed. Rightly so. I should have taken you up on your offer for training, but I was stubborn, and scared. So... I wanted to show you that you don't need to worry about me when things start to go bad. As it turns out, I can protect myself and fight harder than I knew was possible.
I didn't show it, though. Not knowing, I should have protected you.
[He should have done a lot of things; should not have done a lot of things.]
I think I probably made a lot of enemies. [There's no real...remorse to his voice, but he doesn't exactly sound happy about it.]
Anyway. Now, I know.
It's good.
[There's a...somewhat wary glance at Maruki, then, but that isn't really who Eren is looking for. He offers a cautious:] Thanks...Azathoth...[He doesn't quite get the pronunciation right, but...]
hehe we can wrap here or on yr reply.... i'm sob....... THEM...............
Maruki feels a lot when it comes to Azathoth. Its absence was as palpable as its presence. A constant, gentle pressure at the back of his mind, the base of his skull – a comfort more than anything else. Summoning it is like being filled from the soul up with unknowable power, pinpricks of light along each and every nerve. During battle it's as if a current of primordial chaos builds as a wave at the back of his mind and crests over all else, pooling in his temples, keeping him sharp and focused and ruthless. If he lets himself think of Actualization – and he doesn't, if he can absolutely help it – that golden chassis melts down into a thick syrup, seeps down the back of his neck, coats over every bit of pain he's ever felt.
There's no shortage of sensation.
This is a new one.
Like a log being thrown onto a smouldering fire, embers bursting and new flames coming to life. A flare in the back of his head, a warm glow. Contentment, pride.
Maruki startles a bit to feel it, then laughs at himself, fool that he is. ]
It's always with me, even when you can't see it. It felt your gratitude.
[ Maruki doesn't know if Azathoth itself has feelings – the rage they share was born entirely from him, he knows that – but that seemed true enough to say.
And then he gestures for Eren to join him, swings an arm casually over his shoulders as they walk back around to the front of the castle. ]
Come on, we can hang out a bit longer before you finish up your route.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I won't tell anyone.
Tell me anything you want. [There's a pause...] Really. Anything. I can handle it. For you.
I will.
no subject
I can handle it. For you.
And isn't that all there is to it, at the end of the day? For the people you love, you'll handle things that you otherwise couldn't.
He reaches out to clap Eren on the shoulder, laughing, overflowing with gratitude. ]
Thank you. I know that you will. I promise to be honest with you going forward.
[ About.............. most things, anyway. Look, no one in Somnius gets total honesty from him, not even Venat. ]
When I first arrived here, you were so concerned for my ability to defend myself and to fight if needed. Rightly so. I should have taken you up on your offer for training, but I was stubborn, and scared. So... I wanted to show you that you don't need to worry about me when things start to go bad. As it turns out, I can protect myself and fight harder than I knew was possible.
no subject
I didn't show it, though. Not knowing, I should have protected you.
[He should have done a lot of things; should not have done a lot of things.]
I think I probably made a lot of enemies. [There's no real...remorse to his voice, but he doesn't exactly sound happy about it.]
Anyway. Now, I know.
It's good.
[There's a...somewhat wary glance at Maruki, then, but that isn't really who Eren is looking for. He offers a cautious:] Thanks...Azathoth...[He doesn't quite get the pronunciation right, but...]
hehe we can wrap here or on yr reply.... i'm sob....... THEM...............
Maruki feels a lot when it comes to Azathoth. Its absence was as palpable as its presence. A constant, gentle pressure at the back of his mind, the base of his skull – a comfort more than anything else. Summoning it is like being filled from the soul up with unknowable power, pinpricks of light along each and every nerve. During battle it's as if a current of primordial chaos builds as a wave at the back of his mind and crests over all else, pooling in his temples, keeping him sharp and focused and ruthless. If he lets himself think of Actualization – and he doesn't, if he can absolutely help it – that golden chassis melts down into a thick syrup, seeps down the back of his neck, coats over every bit of pain he's ever felt.
There's no shortage of sensation.
This is a new one.
Like a log being thrown onto a smouldering fire, embers bursting and new flames coming to life. A flare in the back of his head, a warm glow. Contentment, pride.
Maruki startles a bit to feel it, then laughs at himself, fool that he is. ]
It's always with me, even when you can't see it. It felt your gratitude.
[ Maruki doesn't know if Azathoth itself has feelings – the rage they share was born entirely from him, he knows that – but that seemed true enough to say.
And then he gestures for Eren to join him, swings an arm casually over his shoulders as they walk back around to the front of the castle. ]
Come on, we can hang out a bit longer before you finish up your route.