[ What or who really is a great question. The figure is nothing like the spectral form of Robin Hood, and Maruki feels a much more personal connection to it than Akechi does. It feels more like a who than a what more often than not. ]
Thank you, I appreciate it. And, ah– Azathoth is its name. I know it's a bit of a mouthful...
[ He drops the hand resting on Azathoth's body to gesture vaguely as he speaks. It's fun, because he's still learning what the hell a persona is himself. Explaining it to someone else is probably good practice. ]
It's sort of like... A literal representation of my spirit. Or my will power, rather. I'm still very new to it – it only manifested physically to me right before I arrived here, and I just regained the ability right before– you know, before everything happened.
[ With one last look over at Azathoth, Maruki lifts his hand again, and it dissipates until nothing is left but that aurora – and then, nothing at all.
The Titan's carcass is still decaying behind Eren.
See? Things are much neater this way.
Maruki looks at Eren again and smiles bashfully, shrugs. ]
I didn't want to keep up the ruse around you any longer. You deserved to know the truth.
[It's just one or two seconds before Maruki recalls Azathoth that Eren reaches a hand toward it. When the aurora appears again, Eren upturns his palm like he might catch it as it falls, but...it never does.
Yes. Please keep that a secret as well. Although Night Sky has already insinuated it on the network, but she didn't know at the time that I wanted to stay out of it.
[ Hands in his pockets now, he looks at Eren with an expression that's plainly open and honest. ]
I value your friendship, Eren. I want you to know these things about me that few do.
[ It's such a sincere offer, such an earnest promise, that Maruki can't help the affection that blooms in his chest and surely shows on his face.
I can handle it. For you.
And isn't that all there is to it, at the end of the day? For the people you love, you'll handle things that you otherwise couldn't.
He reaches out to clap Eren on the shoulder, laughing, overflowing with gratitude. ]
Thank you. I know that you will. I promise to be honest with you going forward.
[ About.............. most things, anyway. Look, no one in Somnius gets total honesty from him, not even Venat. ]
When I first arrived here, you were so concerned for my ability to defend myself and to fight if needed. Rightly so. I should have taken you up on your offer for training, but I was stubborn, and scared. So... I wanted to show you that you don't need to worry about me when things start to go bad. As it turns out, I can protect myself and fight harder than I knew was possible.
I didn't show it, though. Not knowing, I should have protected you.
[He should have done a lot of things; should not have done a lot of things.]
I think I probably made a lot of enemies. [There's no real...remorse to his voice, but he doesn't exactly sound happy about it.]
Anyway. Now, I know.
It's good.
[There's a...somewhat wary glance at Maruki, then, but that isn't really who Eren is looking for. He offers a cautious:] Thanks...Azathoth...[He doesn't quite get the pronunciation right, but...]
hehe we can wrap here or on yr reply.... i'm sob....... THEM...............
Maruki feels a lot when it comes to Azathoth. Its absence was as palpable as its presence. A constant, gentle pressure at the back of his mind, the base of his skull – a comfort more than anything else. Summoning it is like being filled from the soul up with unknowable power, pinpricks of light along each and every nerve. During battle it's as if a current of primordial chaos builds as a wave at the back of his mind and crests over all else, pooling in his temples, keeping him sharp and focused and ruthless. If he lets himself think of Actualization – and he doesn't, if he can absolutely help it – that golden chassis melts down into a thick syrup, seeps down the back of his neck, coats over every bit of pain he's ever felt.
There's no shortage of sensation.
This is a new one.
Like a log being thrown onto a smouldering fire, embers bursting and new flames coming to life. A flare in the back of his head, a warm glow. Contentment, pride.
Maruki startles a bit to feel it, then laughs at himself, fool that he is. ]
It's always with me, even when you can't see it. It felt your gratitude.
[ Maruki doesn't know if Azathoth itself has feelings – the rage they share was born entirely from him, he knows that – but that seemed true enough to say.
And then he gestures for Eren to join him, swings an arm casually over his shoulders as they walk back around to the front of the castle. ]
Come on, we can hang out a bit longer before you finish up your route.
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no subject
Thank you, I appreciate it. And, ah– Azathoth is its name. I know it's a bit of a mouthful...
[ He drops the hand resting on Azathoth's body to gesture vaguely as he speaks. It's fun, because he's still learning what the hell a persona is himself. Explaining it to someone else is probably good practice. ]
It's sort of like... A literal representation of my spirit. Or my will power, rather. I'm still very new to it – it only manifested physically to me right before I arrived here, and I just regained the ability right before– you know, before everything happened.
[ With one last look over at Azathoth, Maruki lifts his hand again, and it dissipates until nothing is left but that aurora – and then, nothing at all.
The Titan's carcass is still decaying behind Eren.
See? Things are much neater this way.
Maruki looks at Eren again and smiles bashfully, shrugs. ]
I didn't want to keep up the ruse around you any longer. You deserved to know the truth.
no subject
[He looks to Maruki.]
What can it do?
Can it keep you safe?
no subject
Sorry– we're secluded, but not entirely safe. I worry about others seeing it.
[ And as for that question... Well. ]
Yes, it can battle. Quite well, as it turns out. It can heal me, or others... I'm sure there's more that it can do. I'm still learning.
[ ..................................... : ) ]
It does keep me safe. I would have easily died against the Green Knight if Azathoth hadn't been so hellbent on protecting me.
no subject
no subject
[ Hands in his pockets now, he looks at Eren with an expression that's plainly open and honest. ]
I value your friendship, Eren. I want you to know these things about me that few do.
no subject
I won't tell anyone.
Tell me anything you want. [There's a pause...] Really. Anything. I can handle it. For you.
I will.
no subject
I can handle it. For you.
And isn't that all there is to it, at the end of the day? For the people you love, you'll handle things that you otherwise couldn't.
He reaches out to clap Eren on the shoulder, laughing, overflowing with gratitude. ]
Thank you. I know that you will. I promise to be honest with you going forward.
[ About.............. most things, anyway. Look, no one in Somnius gets total honesty from him, not even Venat. ]
When I first arrived here, you were so concerned for my ability to defend myself and to fight if needed. Rightly so. I should have taken you up on your offer for training, but I was stubborn, and scared. So... I wanted to show you that you don't need to worry about me when things start to go bad. As it turns out, I can protect myself and fight harder than I knew was possible.
no subject
I didn't show it, though. Not knowing, I should have protected you.
[He should have done a lot of things; should not have done a lot of things.]
I think I probably made a lot of enemies. [There's no real...remorse to his voice, but he doesn't exactly sound happy about it.]
Anyway. Now, I know.
It's good.
[There's a...somewhat wary glance at Maruki, then, but that isn't really who Eren is looking for. He offers a cautious:] Thanks...Azathoth...[He doesn't quite get the pronunciation right, but...]
hehe we can wrap here or on yr reply.... i'm sob....... THEM...............
Maruki feels a lot when it comes to Azathoth. Its absence was as palpable as its presence. A constant, gentle pressure at the back of his mind, the base of his skull – a comfort more than anything else. Summoning it is like being filled from the soul up with unknowable power, pinpricks of light along each and every nerve. During battle it's as if a current of primordial chaos builds as a wave at the back of his mind and crests over all else, pooling in his temples, keeping him sharp and focused and ruthless. If he lets himself think of Actualization – and he doesn't, if he can absolutely help it – that golden chassis melts down into a thick syrup, seeps down the back of his neck, coats over every bit of pain he's ever felt.
There's no shortage of sensation.
This is a new one.
Like a log being thrown onto a smouldering fire, embers bursting and new flames coming to life. A flare in the back of his head, a warm glow. Contentment, pride.
Maruki startles a bit to feel it, then laughs at himself, fool that he is. ]
It's always with me, even when you can't see it. It felt your gratitude.
[ Maruki doesn't know if Azathoth itself has feelings – the rage they share was born entirely from him, he knows that – but that seemed true enough to say.
And then he gestures for Eren to join him, swings an arm casually over his shoulders as they walk back around to the front of the castle. ]
Come on, we can hang out a bit longer before you finish up your route.