[Eyn Sof is one of the only places Eren can sleep lately. He doesn't really do it on purpose, but still, he isn't surprised to find himself blearily waking, hands already wiping away warm tears. He yawns and pushes himself up on the couch.]
How long was I asleep...?
[Not too long, hopefully. Didn't he have something he meant to show Maruki?]
[ Maruki doesn't mind how Eren naps through most of their lunches and even the occasional session lately. He clearly needs the rest, and honestly... It's nice to have the quiet time.
He's slumped down in the armchair, legs stretched out to rest on the table before him, hands folded over his stomach. Was he dozing a bit too? Well, maybe.
He looks over at Eren, smiles. ]
Half an hour? Maybe a little longer. Just a power nap.
[Eren scootches over on the couch and leans down to dip into his bag. He's very careful with what he takes out, covered in a cloth in an attempt to protect it, though it probably wouldn't do much...]
Aubrey got this for me. [The cloth is unwrapped - lo and behold, your standard 1990s Polaroid camera. He stares at it once its in his hands.]
It's a camera. [He lifts his head to look at Maruki, some anxious curiosity in his eyes.] Have you seen one like it? It isn't like the normal kind that take a long time to develop, but not like our phones either. It can print a picture out right away. It's really cool...
[Ah. Of course Maruki would already know. Eren shouldn't be disappointed, really, but he'd thought he might get to explain. He stands up from the couch and takes a couple of steps back, snapping a picture of Maruki instead of answering. There's a bright flash, and then the picture is already printing. Eren's eyes fall to it, fingers very carefully pinching the broad edge of the frame. He sets it face down on the table between he and Maruki and sits down again.]
We didn't have cameras where I grew up. The first time I saw a photo...I haven't lived it yet, but I remember...I thought it was a tiny painting.
Edited (leave me alone I had this opened and noticed a mistake) 2024-07-15 04:32 (UTC)
Well, I'm glad you picked it up again. And honored that you brought it to me first.
[ He rests his elbows on his knees, bends forward to prop his chin up on both hands, a little stretch to his back before he slumps into it. ]
It is big news! I believe you're the only person in Somnius who has one of these. Besides, I always feel like I never took enough photos back home... It's good that you're capturing these memories now.
[ Maruki weathers the second candid with a little hey!! and nothing more – if he looks ridiculous in them, well, that should be Eren's first lesson in warning people before you take a photo of them.
It's funny, though. Adam did the same thing, just shoved a camera in his face snapped a candid photo. Maybe that's what friends do. ]
[Eren weighs the camera in his hands, lips tightening just a little bit.]
I remember sitting for that photo too. It isn't my memory, but I've seen it. It took a long time to get everyone to sit still, and then there was a bright flash - way brighter than this. It smelled, too, and there was smoke.
[Eren's quiet for a moment, brow pinched with focus. His mind sifts through memories that he shouldn't have - even some of which that are, indeed, his own.]
It's foggy. Like...seeing a memory through another memory, but...
For the longest time, I had this key-- [Eren pauses. He sets the camera down on the table, then pulls something out from under his collar - one of three chains, with a golden key attached to it. He takes it off and hands it to Maruki for a closer look. It's inscribed with letters that Maruki shouldn't recognize.]
My father gave it to me when I inherited his titan. He told me to make it back to the cellar - that the key to saving humanity was inside.
Years later - months, I guess, after the last thing I remember from home, we make it back to the cellar. We find that photo, and books that my dad wrote about the mainland, Marley, and what life is like outside of our island.
[He feels some brief glimmer of rage, but...nothing comes to the surface, this time.]
I think...that was the first time I experienced my father's memories - or...it should have been. But, because of the Labyrinth, and now having my abilities again...I remember them all the time.
[ Maruki stares down at the key as Eren speaks, turning it over and over in his hand.
How strange it is to hold something from another reality. An item as mundane as a key, with the knowledge now that it was anything but.
He glances up when Eren falters a bit in his explanation, an ache in his chest to hear it. Months after the last thing he remembers from home, but he was made to see it in his future and is now made to live with its memories too. It would be confusing to anyone. More and more, Maruki's grateful for his background when it comes to Eren's specific needs. He's a poor counselor to many here, but somehow, not to Eren. ]
I'm constantly impressed by your ability to remain present despite all the past and future that lives in your mind, Eren.
[ Another look at the key, warm from his palm, before he hands it back. ]
So until you found that, you didn't know life existed outside Paradis at all?
[ There's something so familiar nagging at the back of his mind. Something learned in a dream, long before he really had an idea of who Eren was, months ago. It's too hazy to recall in full, but... ]
[Eren takes the key back, lacing the chain around his neck again, and then tucking it back safely under his collar. It's funny that he still bothers, really. None of them need this key, anymore - especially here.
[His father gave it to him.]
We didn't. Our society lived behind three massive walls that kept the titans out for one hundred years. The Scout Regiment was responsible for exploring the area outside the walls, but for a long time, they couldn't make much progress.
We didn't know we lived on an island, or what an island even was. We didn't know our country had a name, or what a country was, either.
Our world was only those walls. [Eren's hand clenches into a fist and releases - again, again.] Everything was kept from us...
[ He's listening to Eren, he is, but he's also sorting back through his memories. Months of getting to know Eren in reality, yet what he needs was only ever experienced in dreams.
[ It slips out as soon as it occurs to him. Maruki's brow furrows down at once, irritated with himself for being unable to explain his muted dream memories better. ]
The– there was a book. About the outside world, I think.
Huh? [Eren knows which book he means right away, but it surprises him that Maruki does. The beginning of their first meeting is foggy - had truly felt like a dream - but...now that Maruki mentions it, Eren remembers him handing Eren Armin's book...]
That...was my friend Armin's book. It belonged to his parents. It talked about...fields of ice, and water that looks like fire - mountains that explode fire, too. Lights in the sky, and the ocean...a body of water full of salt, but so big that merchants could work their whole lives and never get it all out.
[There's a moment of quiet. He takes one of the photos from the table and glances at it. He doesn't see who he's looking for.]
I showed Armin all of those things when I said goodbye.
[ It's only been a few weeks since Eren told him about that ability of his, and–
At the time, it had put Maruki out of commission. An afternoon that blended into an evening and then a night without much input from his own mind. Had he made dinner for the castle? He must have. He can't remember it at all.
Things have happened since. Some good, some bad.
On the one hand, he knows now that Actualization doesn't work here. Even though it feels like it should be able to. Even though he can call it forth at will. Nothing happens. It doesn't take. So no matter how badly he may want to do it or how hard he fights against it, he runs no risk of altering anyone's reality, accidentally or purposefully.
On the other hand, of course, is his recent reckoning with his own mortality.
Eren created realities to say goodbye to his friends. Maruki hopes one day to be able to say goodbye to him too. ]
[ Wordlessly, Maruki gets up from the chair and comes to sit next to Eren instead. A palm flat beneath his shoulder blades, calming, steadying.
For a long moment, he's quiet, weighing his words against his own thoughts on the matter. When he finally speaks, it's quieter, a little strained. ]
I can't think of anything more loving than giving them the chance to experience an ideal life with you one last time before you were gone. It's a beautiful thing, Eren.
[ Minutely, he rubs his hand back and forth. ]
Goodbyes are impossible. You made them as easy as you could.
[It starts before Maruki sits down - Eren knows he'll cry. A palm is pressed between his shoulder blades, and he feels young. Maruki is a friend - Eren considers them to be equals, but sometimes Maruki's wisdom makes the scales feel so unbalanced. He's smart, and he knows what to say. He's honest when it matters, but knows how to lie. He's poised. Eren has a hard time picturing him actually being afraid...
[He's known someone else like that.]
You'd like him. [The tears, the tone - easy, uncomplicated longing. Eren's memories are his own, and he's simply far from home, right now. Two friends could be introduced in a room decorated by ocean paintings and soft blue blankets. He thinks their dorky jokes would make each other smile.]
You'd like him so much. He's just like you. He's so smart. [He bites off the last word, wiping at his eyes.] He could talk about all the smart shit you say - not like me. I bet you...you'd teach him something new, and just a couple of hours later, he'd be teaching you about it instead.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
( action ); WE'LL GET TO THE PHOTOS I HAD TO DO THIS FIRST
How long was I asleep...?
[Not too long, hopefully. Didn't he have something he meant to show Maruki?]
sleepy muki icon be upon ye
He's slumped down in the armchair, legs stretched out to rest on the table before him, hands folded over his stomach. Was he dozing a bit too? Well, maybe.
He looks over at Eren, smiles. ]
Half an hour? Maybe a little longer. Just a power nap.
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[There's still food out on the table. Did they both just pass out? Eren leans forward to start boxing it up, but there's still plenty of time.]
At least I know what year it is-- [Eh.] Well. You know what I mean--
Oh. [Hold please. Big yawn. He doesn't cover his mouth. Hoooo.] I wanted to show you something.
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Maruki doesn't bother to straighten up his posture, just watches curiously. ]
Yeah? What is it?
little hat
Aubrey got this for me. [The cloth is unwrapped - lo and behold, your standard 1990s Polaroid camera. He stares at it once its in his hands.]
It's a camera. [He lifts his head to look at Maruki, some anxious curiosity in his eyes.] Have you seen one like it? It isn't like the normal kind that take a long time to develop, but not like our phones either. It can print a picture out right away. It's really cool...
LITTLE HAT
A Polaroid! I had one of those as a kid. Instant cameras are still very popular in Tokyo.
[ Is he about to explain purikura to Eren Jaeger? No. But by god does he want to.
Instead he just meets his eyes with a grin. ]
They are really cool. Have you been having fun with it?
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We didn't have cameras where I grew up. The first time I saw a photo...I haven't lived it yet, but I remember...I thought it was a tiny painting.
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[ Oh, he can't imagine how stupid he's going to look in that. But he's laughing all the same, charmed by how into this Eren is. ]
I can see why you'd think that. It must have been a total shock.
[ I haven't lived it yet, but I remember. Eren's mind truly is a cluttered place...
He glances down at the Polaroid developing facedown on the table and then smiles back up at Eren. ]
I can bet you've been taking a lot of photos since you got it.
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I took some photos right before-- [...] Before the Green Knight, but I didn't pick it up again until today.
I guess it's not big news, or anything, but I wanted to show you.
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Well, I'm glad you picked it up again. And honored that you brought it to me first.
[ He rests his elbows on his knees, bends forward to prop his chin up on both hands, a little stretch to his back before he slumps into it. ]
It is big news! I believe you're the only person in Somnius who has one of these. Besides, I always feel like I never took enough photos back home... It's good that you're capturing these memories now.
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I thought so too. I took some...of-- [He keeps biting his tongue.] Of Mikasa. Before.
That made me think of it, I guess...
[He lifts the camera and snaps another candid of Maruki.]
The weirdest thing...
[He takes the photo out and places it face down on the table beside the other one; this one, he covers with a book lying nearby.]
You know how I told you about that first photo I saw, and thinking it was a little painting?
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It's funny, though. Adam did the same thing, just shoved a camera in his face snapped a candid photo. Maybe that's what friends do. ]
Yeah? What about it?
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I remember sitting for that photo too. It isn't my memory, but I've seen it. It took a long time to get everyone to sit still, and then there was a bright flash - way brighter than this. It smelled, too, and there was smoke.
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More importantly, though– ]
Do you know whose memory it was?
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My father's. It was a family portrait with his first wife, and my brother, Zeke.
Later, he left it as the only clue of humanity's existence beyond our island. It was in the cellar of the home I grew up in.
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You've mentioned the cellar before. What happened when you found that in there?
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It's foggy. Like...seeing a memory through another memory, but...
For the longest time, I had this key-- [Eren pauses. He sets the camera down on the table, then pulls something out from under his collar - one of three chains, with a golden key attached to it. He takes it off and hands it to Maruki for a closer look. It's inscribed with letters that Maruki shouldn't recognize.]
My father gave it to me when I inherited his titan. He told me to make it back to the cellar - that the key to saving humanity was inside.
Years later - months, I guess, after the last thing I remember from home, we make it back to the cellar. We find that photo, and books that my dad wrote about the mainland, Marley, and what life is like outside of our island.
[He feels some brief glimmer of rage, but...nothing comes to the surface, this time.]
I think...that was the first time I experienced my father's memories - or...it should have been. But, because of the Labyrinth, and now having my abilities again...I remember them all the time.
no subject
How strange it is to hold something from another reality. An item as mundane as a key, with the knowledge now that it was anything but.
He glances up when Eren falters a bit in his explanation, an ache in his chest to hear it. Months after the last thing he remembers from home, but he was made to see it in his future and is now made to live with its memories too. It would be confusing to anyone. More and more, Maruki's grateful for his background when it comes to Eren's specific needs. He's a poor counselor to many here, but somehow, not to Eren. ]
I'm constantly impressed by your ability to remain present despite all the past and future that lives in your mind, Eren.
[ Another look at the key, warm from his palm, before he hands it back. ]
So until you found that, you didn't know life existed outside Paradis at all?
[ There's something so familiar nagging at the back of his mind. Something learned in a dream, long before he really had an idea of who Eren was, months ago. It's too hazy to recall in full, but... ]
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[His father gave it to him.]
We didn't. Our society lived behind three massive walls that kept the titans out for one hundred years. The Scout Regiment was responsible for exploring the area outside the walls, but for a long time, they couldn't make much progress.
We didn't know we lived on an island, or what an island even was. We didn't know our country had a name, or what a country was, either.
Our world was only those walls. [Eren's hand clenches into a fist and releases - again, again.] Everything was kept from us...
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Everything was kept from them– ]
What about the book?
[ It slips out as soon as it occurs to him. Maruki's brow furrows down at once, irritated with himself for being unable to explain his muted dream memories better. ]
The– there was a book. About the outside world, I think.
THEY'VE COME SO FAAAAAAAAAR
That...was my friend Armin's book. It belonged to his parents. It talked about...fields of ice, and water that looks like fire - mountains that explode fire, too. Lights in the sky, and the ocean...a body of water full of salt, but so big that merchants could work their whole lives and never get it all out.
[There's a moment of quiet. He takes one of the photos from the table and glances at it. He doesn't see who he's looking for.]
I showed Armin all of those things when I said goodbye.
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When you created a reality for him, right?
[ It's only been a few weeks since Eren told him about that ability of his, and–
At the time, it had put Maruki out of commission. An afternoon that blended into an evening and then a night without much input from his own mind. Had he made dinner for the castle? He must have. He can't remember it at all.
Things have happened since. Some good, some bad.
On the one hand, he knows now that Actualization doesn't work here. Even though it feels like it should be able to. Even though he can call it forth at will. Nothing happens. It doesn't take. So no matter how badly he may want to do it or how hard he fights against it, he runs no risk of altering anyone's reality, accidentally or purposefully.
On the other hand, of course, is his recent reckoning with his own mortality.
Eren created realities to say goodbye to his friends. Maruki hopes one day to be able to say goodbye to him too. ]
So... You could tailor it to each person's wants?
KILL ME ACTUALLY
[Eren sets the photo back down. He'll appreciate it more later.]
I had never seen those parts of the world myself, but I could still see them when I looked at the world. I don't know how exactly it works...
[His fists ball up on his knees. Eren chews on the inside of his cheek.]
I wanted to show Armin the world we dreamt about.
Like...I wanted to give Mikasa a place to stay, far away from everything else...
HA HA WE HAVE FUN HERE
For a long moment, he's quiet, weighing his words against his own thoughts on the matter. When he finally speaks, it's quieter, a little strained. ]
I can't think of anything more loving than giving them the chance to experience an ideal life with you one last time before you were gone. It's a beautiful thing, Eren.
[ Minutely, he rubs his hand back and forth. ]
Goodbyes are impossible. You made them as easy as you could.
WHO'S HAVING FUN RIGHT NOW? (me)
[He's known someone else like that.]
You'd like him. [The tears, the tone - easy, uncomplicated longing. Eren's memories are his own, and he's simply far from home, right now. Two friends could be introduced in a room decorated by ocean paintings and soft blue blankets. He thinks their dorky jokes would make each other smile.]
You'd like him so much. He's just like you. He's so smart. [He bites off the last word, wiping at his eyes.] He could talk about all the smart shit you say - not like me. I bet you...you'd teach him something new, and just a couple of hours later, he'd be teaching you about it instead.
I bet...
: ))))))
I CANNOT BELIEVE
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cw suicide & murder mentions oh boy here we go
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NOT cryruki but tiredruki
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