[ And Maruki knows it. He knows how Eren would ask that of anyone else. He also knows Eren would never turn that same blade on him. As ever, he's the exception.
All the same, though... ]
Eren...
I really am.
You don't think that's a bad thing? Not even a bit?
[It's a difficult question, and it's not. Of course he's happy that his Other is happy. He just knows that it won't change his goal. He doesn't truly believe it will change Maruki's either.]
It's like I said. While you're here, you can rest. You should.
[Eren's didn't change. He wished twice for the power he needed to destroy his enemies. It came true once. Maruki doesn't want to save the world anymore, but surely he doesn't want people to suffer instead. This, Eren thinks, is the one place where they must differ...]
[ He feels oddly self-conscious sharing it with Eren, even though he knows he won't be judged. ]
I wished to be able to find my own happiness. To make the most of this second chance at my life.
[ It's so selfish.
It's so necessary. ]
In all my life, I've never wished for something like that.
Just like wish my last wish, there's no power in this reality that can grant it for me, and I don't labor under the delusion that it will. But this time, I think it's something I can give myself.
[If they were in person, Eren would be left speechless. With only their devices connecting them, his mind goes blank; blinding light. Only one thought becomes clear.]
[ It's beautiful, isn't it? The way he can stand there at the kitchen window, both arms outstretched for a bird to land on.
Eren could fly in himself, of course, but no– Maruki wants to be able to bring him inside, to hold him against his chest for a moment, safe and warm. ]
[ Neither of them see their own strength, then. Maruki smiles down at him, lets him burrow against his chest as he moves away from the window, over to the alcove off their dining area.
He sits cross-legged there, so that if Eren transforms back right there in his arms, at least they'll both have a softer landing than they would standing around. ]
[Maruki may as well be beckoning his human form, saying that. Eren appears in his lap, three times too big for it, not that it's ever mattered. He wraps his arms and legs around Maruki without much care for who might see.]
[Something has changed. Maruki's happiness is found in cooking dinner for the residents of the machiya. He loves them all, and he proclaims they love him too, that they aren't useless, that they give him something he wouldn't otherwise have.
[Eren still hates them. He's not even sure why he hates them, but he knows that he hates them.
[But if they're what Maruki wants, then fine. Eren will defer to Maruki's wish. He'll allow these people to be what they are, he won't complain.
[He'll try.
[He nods his head into Maruki's shoulder.]
Okay. I will.
[He's never agreed to it before, cooking in the machiya specifically. They'll probably realize Maruki wasn't working alone when they notice the flaws in his meal.]
[ His heart lifts in his chest at the agreement, the promise that soon they'll be cooking together–
Soon, but not just yet.
Maruki leans his head down against Eren's, voice quiet. ]
There's so much I need to tell you about what happened to me. I'm still finding the words for some of it, and... I'm afraid there are parts you'll hate me for, just a bit.
[ Anyone who knows Akechi Goro as well as they do should and would. If there is one thing Maruki doesn't deserve forgiveness for, it's that. ]
But what you said today, about balancing the scales... that helped more than you know, Eren.
[ He almost wishes Eren hadn't let go of his face. Maruki grabs his hand as if to bring it back up and only ends up squeezing it, a motion as anxious as his expression begins to turn. ]
I'm... trying not to. But that's a long uphill climb, Eren.
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I hope you're enjoying your time.
[To anyone else, those words would be biting, downright vicious, but he knows Maruki will sense that it's so very genuine.]
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All the same, though... ]
Eren...
I really am.
You don't think that's a bad thing? Not even a bit?
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It's like I said. While you're here, you can rest. You should.
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I never told you what wish brought me back here, did I?
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My old wish was to heal the world of all of its suffering, after all. I can't say I want that anymore.
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What is it, then?
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I wished to be able to find my own happiness. To make the most of this second chance at my life.
[ It's so selfish.
It's so necessary. ]
In all my life, I've never wished for something like that.
Just like wish my last wish, there's no power in this reality that can grant it for me, and I don't labor under the delusion that it will. But this time, I think it's something I can give myself.
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Every day I wish I was more like you.
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What? Why???
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[Eren has learned to appreciate happiness as it comes, but he could never seek it out for himself, never wish it upon himself.]
You're stronger than me. You're better.
sorry to do the behated text to action but like. gotta
[ ... ]
I'm not better than you. I'm not better than anyone.
Will you come see me? I'm just at the machiya.
OH HUSH ERERUKI IS EXEMPT
[Wide enough for a gull to fit through. Eren starts flying without another word. It will only take minutes to get there.]
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Eren could fly in himself, of course, but no– Maruki wants to be able to bring him inside, to hold him against his chest for a moment, safe and warm. ]
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[Eren nuzzles his soft head into Maruki's chest and peacefully settles, feathers ruffling in content.]
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I'm always thinking to myself about how much stronger you are than me.
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He sits cross-legged there, so that if Eren transforms back right there in his arms, at least they'll both have a softer landing than they would standing around. ]
Now you're a bird for Halloween, too.
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We should have gone to the Windmill instead.
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He throws his arms around Eren as well, because– ]
No one is home. And I want to start dinner soon. And before you say anything, that's part of finding my happiness, too.
[ A little squeeze around his ribs, brief but tight. ]
You can help me.
LMK IF U WANT TO WRAP OR KEEP GOING U KNOW I'M GOOD
[Eren still hates them. He's not even sure why he hates them, but he knows that he hates them.
[But if they're what Maruki wants, then fine. Eren will defer to Maruki's wish. He'll allow these people to be what they are, he won't complain.
[He'll try.
[He nods his head into Maruki's shoulder.]
Okay. I will.
[He's never agreed to it before, cooking in the machiya specifically. They'll probably realize Maruki wasn't working alone when they notice the flaws in his meal.]
OH NO <3
Soon, but not just yet.
Maruki leans his head down against Eren's, voice quiet. ]
There's so much I need to tell you about what happened to me. I'm still finding the words for some of it, and... I'm afraid there are parts you'll hate me for, just a bit.
[ Anyone who knows Akechi Goro as well as they do should and would. If there is one thing Maruki doesn't deserve forgiveness for, it's that. ]
But what you said today, about balancing the scales... that helped more than you know, Eren.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
I can't hate you. It would be impossible.
[He lets go.]
If it did...I'm glad.
Maruki. [The way he says it, so deathly gentle, so purely true.] I don't want you to hate yourself.
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I'm... trying not to. But that's a long uphill climb, Eren.
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[Maruki's anxious hand is taken in both of Eren's.]
You can make it, though.
[He knows Maruki can because he knows that he can't.]
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cries oh we wrappin finally..........
u can wrap on ur next one hehe
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