[ He almost wishes Eren hadn't let go of his face. Maruki grabs his hand as if to bring it back up and only ends up squeezing it, a motion as anxious as his expression begins to turn. ]
I'm... trying not to. But that's a long uphill climb, Eren.
[ If he had someone like Eren to tell him that in those lonely days and weeks following his change of heart–
If he hadn't had to pick his broken pieces up off the floor every night to try to reshape himself into a person worthy of this second chance, one who could go out and face the world he failed–
Maybe he would be stronger now. Maybe there wouldn't be so much of that mountain left to scale.
As happy as he is being back in this reality, every day that he's spent here in the company of so many he loves has made his circumstances back home feel that much starker.
It starts to set in once more, and–
He can't. Can't go into it, right here, right now. Can't think about it. Maruki brushes it away from his mind, reaches for Eren with both arms. ]
[ For as much progress as he's made, both in this reality and during his stint back home, he feels like the combination of the two has put him on the back foot somewhat. Hadn't he already learned to give himself what he so freely gives to others? That patience, that grace, that belief.
The urge to apologize for an unintentional backslide sits on his tongue, but it's swallowed down. He doesn't have to apologize to Eren for that. For anything about himself.
He only nods, face tucked into the curve of Eren's neck for a few deep breaths before he picks it up again and looks at him, eyes shining and serious all at once. ]
I will. I'll try. If you don't mind reminding me occasionally, like this... it really does help.
I want to stay with you every night. Of course I will.
[ And then, a gentle tug, a suggestion that they ought to leave this little alcove, this tangle of their bodies. A promise that they'll return to it later, in the privacy of his room. For now, though– ]
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I'm... trying not to. But that's a long uphill climb, Eren.
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[Maruki's anxious hand is taken in both of Eren's.]
You can make it, though.
[He knows Maruki can because he knows that he can't.]
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If he hadn't had to pick his broken pieces up off the floor every night to try to reshape himself into a person worthy of this second chance, one who could go out and face the world he failed–
Maybe he would be stronger now. Maybe there wouldn't be so much of that mountain left to scale.
As happy as he is being back in this reality, every day that he's spent here in the company of so many he loves has made his circumstances back home feel that much starker.
It starts to set in once more, and–
He can't. Can't go into it, right here, right now. Can't think about it. Maruki brushes it away from his mind, reaches for Eren with both arms. ]
You really think so?
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Yes.
[Eren wouldn't have said so before he left this place himself - might not even have said it a year ago, but now...]
You're stronger than you think. You're smarter. You have the right kind of heart.
My love... [He murmurs it against Maruki's ear, leaving a kiss.] Give yourself what you give me.
cries oh we wrappin finally..........
The urge to apologize for an unintentional backslide sits on his tongue, but it's swallowed down. He doesn't have to apologize to Eren for that. For anything about himself.
He only nods, face tucked into the curve of Eren's neck for a few deep breaths before he picks it up again and looks at him, eyes shining and serious all at once. ]
I will. I'll try. If you don't mind reminding me occasionally, like this... it really does help.
u can wrap on ur next one hehe
I will. Every night if I have to.
You'll stay with me tonight, won't you?
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I want to stay with you every night. Of course I will.
[ And then, a gentle tug, a suggestion that they ought to leave this little alcove, this tangle of their bodies. A promise that they'll return to it later, in the privacy of his room. For now, though– ]
Come on. Come cook with me.