OPEN POST

[placation]

if you can dream it, you can thread it

(you can pm me here or on plurk if you'd like to beforehand, but also if you'd just like to drop something at my doorstep with no preamble please do!!)

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I DROPED IT

[placation]

[ Oh, god. If he leaves the university now, he might be able to make it to the station in time to catch a train that Akechi might have been on, but that's a vanishing chance and he technically has office hours even though no one will come to them but– ]

Ah, did you tell one of the station attendants? Maybe they can catch it at the end of the line so we can go pick it up...

dROPED IT

[enteloki]

I did! I told the person standing there and they said 'Okay, we'll keep an eye out. Go tell your parents' and I said 'I have those - I'll tell them' and then I came home and then I called Rumi and she said to call you so I did.

[But now he's getting a SNACK. There's a crinkle of some kinda wrapper coming off something. IT'S RAMEN TIME BAEBEE]

[placation]

[ Of course she did. Well, he does work closer to home than she does... ]

Okay, I'll leave early so we can look for– hey, what are you eating?

1/2

[enteloki]

[Dead mother truckin silence.

Then plastic peeling away from a carton - so quiet. So soft.]

2/3

[enteloki]

[PUTS CALL ON MUTE.

Just kidding. He doesn't know where the fuck that button is. He sings the featherman theme, loudly, as a plastic lid 'POPS'. He's a master of deception. Catch him with a 30 step saw plan in another reality.]

[enteloki]

[Is gucci now. He can peel the powder part so quietly. Boiling water? He's got this shit down. He'll deal with that in a second.]

A carrot.

[placation]

A carrot, huh? Weird, we don't have any carrots in the house right now because I know a certain kid who won't eat them...

[ He's having a ramen snack, isn't he. A ramen snack before his ramen dinner. ]

[enteloki]

They're special carrots. I found them - they were in the bottom. They grew there.

[The phone hits the ground. A soft `I dropped it` as he drags his little step stool to the sink. Gonna wash his HANDS. Gonna put that sick hot sink water in this. Gonna commit CRIMES.

Phone back in his grubby little palms. ]

It's okay. It's okay. It didn't crack. We don't have to pay for a new one.

[placation]

Ah, the special mystery carrots! How could I forget.

[ Yeah, he's going to start packing up to come home early, office hours be damned. They have a backpack to save, after all. ]

Did you have a good day aside from losing your backpack?

[enteloki]

[Hot water in the cup!!! Good enough. He sets it to the side to "cook" and starts looking for his Featherman chopsticks. The phone lays flat on the counter as he talks.]

Yeah, I like this school. I made a friend, even though he likes Blue Swan more than Black Condor I think - it's okay.

[His opinion is shit. ❤️]

We ate lunch together and shared our bentos and he was really loud. He's funny, so I'm happy. I got to read at the library and then read a book and-

[CONTINUOUS STREAM OF BABBLE ABOUT HIS MUNDANE CHILD DAY. ]

[placation]

[ Parenthood suits Maruki; he could listen to that little kid babble all day. He tries to remember everything Akechi tells him, even the most trivial nonsense. It's so easy to make him happy, bringing up the things he says later.

And then that piping little voice! Gets!! Farther away!!! ]

Did you– hey! You left me in the kitchen!

[ Hello? Take the Mamaruki phone with you??? ]

1/2

[enteloki]

Oh!

[THE PATTER OF SOMEONE RUNNING BACK!!!

OH!!!!]

[enteloki]

[Phone clutched so close!!! To his chest!!! As he walks down a hall, plopping right under an affixed photo of his mom to enjoy his lukewarm, half cooked noodles. ]

Did you have fun at work? Did you make a friend? Are you in the unconscious?

[Phone at his side!!! Speaker on!! It's noodle time pogchamps. He makes a happy lil 'mm' as he munches.]

Are you happy today?

NOT UNDERNEATH THE PHOTO SHUT UP

[placation]

[ Maruki has to bite his cheeks to not laugh out loud; the way that Akechi tries to understand his research is so endearing... ]

No, I didn't make it to the unconscious today, unfortunately. Maybe next time!

[ Or maybe never. ♥ ]

But I did have fun! And I'm always happy when I get to talk to you. I guess students are kind of like friends... They don't come talk to me about Black Condor and Blue Swan, though. What a drag, huh?

family snack :)

[enteloki]

You can make them talk about it if you use your words. You have to say-

[In between happy little slurps of shitty noodles-]

'Hi, I like your keychain. Do you like Featherman?' and then they'll say yes and you can talk about it. I'll coach you.

[placation]

[ Painfully cute... ]

How about next time you have a school holiday, I bring you to my office? You can ask anyone that comes in about Featherman and show me how it's done.

[ That's enrichment for exhausted grad students and for Akechi. Win/win! ]

[enteloki]

I have a holiday tomorrow.

[He sure as hell doesn't, but he wants to Go There Now. His other families didn't pay attention to stupid things like school schedules!!! TRUST AND BELIEVE!!!]

I'll help you make a lot of friends.

[placation]

[ Too bad. This family has the school schedule stuck up on the refrigerator alongside every drawing he's ever done. But Maruki can play along. ]

Oh yeah? What's the holiday?

[enteloki]

[Fuck.]

I don't remember.

[A beat.]

I have a headache.

[Another slurp.]

Don't ask my teacher - she won't remember either, but it's an official holiday. They said it on the announcements.

[Oh, crunchy noodle blob. Big Munch.]

My legs hurt.

[placation]

[ Guess who's still too soft and gets duped by this? Maruki does!!! Rumi would call him out on his shit immediately, but not this man. Not this stupid, stupid man.

The headache only makes sense with all that sodium, but– ]

What happened to your legs!?

[enteloki]

I don't know.

[Because he's a fucking liar. Eren bit them. He hasn't a goddamn clue. Should he feel a sense of guilt for duping his guardian like this? TIME WILL TELL.]

You'll have to carry me to the train.

[placation]

[ That's not much different from always; Akechi usually asks, and Maruki's not strong enough to say no... ]

You didn't fall down or anything while you were trying to get your backpack, did you?

1/2

[enteloki]

[Big slurp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[enteloki]

Yeah, I fell. Really hard. I hit the ground and everything. I tripped.

[placation]

Are you bleeding?

[ Akechi. Please hear that very genuine concern in his voice. With great adorable beloved son power comes great adorable beloved son responsibility. PLEASE. ]