(you can pm me here or on plurk if you'd like to beforehand, but also if you'd just like to drop something at my doorstep with no preamble please do!!)
It's not cute and even if it made breakfast, it couldn't stay.
When you get back today, we'll have to deep clean the apartment and search for the way it got in. Birds carry diseases and your laptop will be the least of your worries if you fall ill.
[Maruki will receive the following phone calls in the next hour-
1. A neighbor.
2. Another neighbor.
3. The landlord.
4. The landlord (again).
And in the background of every call, is a lot of noise. Like, a lot of noise. Like so much noise. There's a manic sort of laughter accompanied by a bird's clear mimicry attempt, followed by some angry verbal assault, unintelligible. Repeated, by the goddamn bird.
Don't worry about it. Noise complaints are a suggestion, not a crime.]
[ And what is Maruki supposed to say to those calls, exactly? Sorry about his roommate, except he's not. There's a bird in their apartment and Akechi is handling it in the best way he knows. Frankly, they should be grateful he can't Megidolaon in the real world or the whole building might be Almightily leveled.
Besides, noise complaints during daylight hours? Get real jobs, idiots.
He does sound almost concerningly chaotic in the background of these phonecalls though. One might say that they're... Calls of Chaos........
[Thank you based roomie. The emotional support is #real.]
It knew your voice too. Please know you're also 'an enemy' of the bird for whatever reason. It heard you talking about Socrates during dinner last night and has been reciting it through the window for the last five minutes.
As for Akitsu-san, they should leave the complex if they're so bothered. Their feelings mean nothing to me.
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Sorry my wildlife videos aren't up to par. You're welcome to come back and take one yourself.
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Can you get it out??? It's probably scared, the poor thing...
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[His enclosure....invaded by bird, but not by man. Not yet.]
I'm not trying to make it a pet - of course I'm attempting to get it out. It's a delicate situation.
It's also being quite aggressive to the keys on your laptop. You're missing at least two now.
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Just open all the windows and try to shoo it... the door to the balcony too.
But don't let any other birds in if you do!
What the hell...
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And if I open all the doors and windows, bugs will fly in. That's a far more difficult task to handle than a bird.
I think it's a crow too. They tend to be quite smart and it doesn't seem eager to leave.
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Bugs won't try to destroy my laptop! I'm working on a paper right now...
You THINK it's a crow? Show me the bird Akechi
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[No cicada is getting in THIS apartment!!!!
ATTACHMENT.ONE]
I didn't realize your degree included ornithology. Please, enlighten me.
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Get it out, of course, but if it were less destructive maybe it could stay...
[ is this more or less how he took akechi in? well....... ]
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When you get back today, we'll have to deep clean the apartment and search for the way it got in. Birds carry diseases and your laptop will be the least of your worries if you fall ill.
I'll update you on the status of the bird later.
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But yes, point taken. We'll do that. We're overdue for spring cleaning anyway.
[ get ready for mamaruki to be in the whole cleaning kerchief and apron get-up! it's mandatory for akechi too!! ]
Are you sure YOU didn't summon it, though?
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I left a bunch of dorayaki crumbs on the table last night in order to summon a disease infested animal into my home.
Oh, but I didn't have dorayaki yesterday. Isn't that interesting? I wonder who left that generous meal for our feathered friend.
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LURE IT OUTSIDE WITH SNACKS
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Ugh. UGH.
And like they're back inside of Mementos, he follows the suggestion with an-]
Understood. I'll get that little shit.
[WILLPOWER PLAYS IN THE DISTANCE]
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I believe in you!
[ for god's sake, they've defeated the reaper how many times now? a crow should be nothing. less than nothing. GO FOR IT AKECHI ]
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1. A neighbor.
2. Another neighbor.
3. The landlord.
4. The landlord (again).
And in the background of every call, is a lot of noise. Like, a lot of noise. Like so much noise. There's a manic sort of laughter accompanied by a bird's clear mimicry attempt, followed by some angry verbal assault, unintelligible. Repeated, by the goddamn bird.
Don't worry about it. Noise complaints are a suggestion, not a crime.]
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1/2 i swear to goddhdhdhdjd
Besides, noise complaints during daylight hours? Get real jobs, idiots.
He does sound almost concerningly chaotic in the background of these phonecalls though. One might say that they're... Calls of Chaos........
😎 ]
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I fear you've made an enemy for life today though... the bird, but also Akitsu-san two doors down.
Alas. The hazards of the job.
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It knew your voice too. Please know you're also 'an enemy' of the bird for whatever reason. It heard you talking about Socrates during dinner last night and has been reciting it through the window for the last five minutes.
As for Akitsu-san, they should leave the complex if they're so bothered. Their feelings mean nothing to me.
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[ they're literally nice... ]
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I doubt we'll ever know, but it's a valuable lesson on remaining cautious in reality too. We were truly slacking if a bird could infiltrate our home.
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You know...
Ah, no, never mind. It would never work.
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Spit it out. What were you thinking?
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I was just thinking that if both of us had jobs, we could afford a better apartment. With better security. Against threats both avian and otherwise.
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