[Whilst nursing his drink, Adam's mind is still on the thought of Eren's parting words, of what he can do for Maruki. The more he drinks, the further away it all gets, the less responsibility he has to shoulder.
He was always very good at running away.
It's when he's dwelling on these thoughts that he hears his voice, and Adam starts like he's summoned the devil.
Not only that, but-]
Maruki?
[What is he saying? Adam's blood flows cold in his veins. He can't have forgotten, not after everything. Terrified of the answer, he asks:]
[ Oh, he can feel the dread radiating off Adam just from that question alone, and immediately his little joke feels not just foolish but entirely cruel. He'd hate for someone to do the same to him, wouldn't he? It's not fair to Adam...
So he turns to him at once, apologetic smile blooming across his expression. ]
I was only messing with you, but it was a poor joke... [ A beat. ] I'm sorry. And... I'm back!
[Adam slumps with relief. What joy he felt at hearing Maruki's voice again was overidden by sheer terror, and trickles back in slowly as the adrenaline subsides.]
Jesus - never do that again.
[He points a warning finger at Maruki before settling into a grin.]
Glad you're back. You really had me worried for a second there, you know?
[His tone tips more solemn, recalling his own return to his world. He plays with the small paper umbrella in his drink before moving on from welling in that feeling.]
[ Of course Adam knows. Of course he does. It isn't only their mutual grief over Omori's sudden disappearance, but his own experience, too. Adam hadn't meant to leave, hadn't wanted to any more than Maruki did.
A swell of gratitude crests in his chest, warms his eyes and his smile as he looks over at his friend. ]
Honestly, no, it was a rather harrowing experience. But I did come out the other side of it with a new career. I want you to guess!
[Harrowing raises some concerns, concerns that he'd like to dig into and uncover- but now's not really the time for that. He reciprocates Maruki's warm smile, just glad to have him back.
He can't imagine what new career Maruki would go for, or how it even came about in the first place. He tosses something stupid to the wind.]
Ah... forgive me, it's still difficult to explain succinctly.
[ With that laughter faded, a more pensive air falls around Maruki as he nurses the drink, knuckles rapping nervously against the bar counter before he speaks. ]
The research that I dedicated my life to wasn't healthy for me, in the end. A dear friend helped me have a change of heart. Unfortunately my job options are rather limited, thanks to said life-dedicating, but... there are worse things to do than help people get to where they need to be, right?
[Adam listens with great interest. Come to think of it, outside of Maruki having been a counsellor - and Azathoth, which he tries to forget about - he doesn't really know a lot about his life outside of here.
He wants to dig in deeper - achingly curious - but its clear it's something Maruki feels antsy about.]
Yeah. You could be taking pictures of strangers cheating on their wives.
[Just as an example.]
You gonna start up a taxi business here, then? Not that much different from being a counsellor, if you think about it.
[ A short laugh, barely more than an exhale, as Maruki shoots Adam a Look. ]
Adam.
[ It's not a reprimand. It's gentle, warm, as Maruki always is– but there's also the sensation that someone's given up on maintaining a mask he's long worn. ]
[He figures it's something boring and lofty that he couldn't possibly wrap his head around, that requires about 10 minutes just to explain. But since it's Maruki, and it's important to him, he wants to know.]
It's not something kinky, is it?
[And despite all that, he's gotta ruin the moment.]
[ There's no sense in explaining the vast intricacies of cognitive psience. At its core is what Maruki wants Adam to understand. ]
I dedicated myself to finding a way to remove all instances of pain and trauma from people's minds. Erasing all wounds of the heart, if you will.
[ He drums his fingers against the side of his glass, stares down into the liquid for a moment. ]
Counseling was a means to get closer to achieving that goal. It's for the best that I consider driving a taxi to be as different from that as possible.
[ Adam reacted so poorly to seeing Azathoth merely as a demonstration of the power he could use to help protect his friend – he can't begin to think how he would react to finding out the vast scope of that power, its ability to influence all of reality.
There are those he can tell the whole awful truth, and those he can't. So long as Adam understands what he has told him, that's all that matters – and he does, Maruki can tell he does. Even if he stumbles through an attempt at comfort, it's so earnest that he's touched down to the depths of his changed heart.
He lays a gentle arm around Adam's shoulders, gives a little squeeze. ]
It really does help to hear that. Thank you, Adam. I'm glad I'm back with you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He was always very good at running away.
It's when he's dwelling on these thoughts that he hears his voice, and Adam starts like he's summoned the devil.
Not only that, but-]
Maruki?
[What is he saying? Adam's blood flows cold in his veins. He can't have forgotten, not after everything. Terrified of the answer, he asks:]
You've never been here before?
no subject
So he turns to him at once, apologetic smile blooming across his expression. ]
I was only messing with you, but it was a poor joke... [ A beat. ] I'm sorry. And... I'm back!
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Jesus - never do that again.
[He points a warning finger at Maruki before settling into a grin.]
Glad you're back. You really had me worried for a second there, you know?
no subject
I can only imagine. Especially after...
[ Well, he doesn't have to bring up Omori. They both already know.
Maruki slides into the seat next to him then, leans over to knock their shoulders together. ]
It was never my intention to leave without notice, even if it was only for a short time. The whole thing was out of my hands, it seems.
[ A difficult thing for a tremendous control freak to admit, but unfortunately, it's the truth. ]
no subject
[His tone tips more solemn, recalling his own return to his world. He plays with the small paper umbrella in his drink before moving on from welling in that feeling.]
Get up to anything good?
no subject
A swell of gratitude crests in his chest, warms his eyes and his smile as he looks over at his friend. ]
Honestly, no, it was a rather harrowing experience. But I did come out the other side of it with a new career. I want you to guess!
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He can't imagine what new career Maruki would go for, or how it even came about in the first place. He tosses something stupid to the wind.]
Celebrity chef.
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[ Some sort of cooking job might be one he could be happy at in the future, once he returns and figures out if he'll stay in Tokyo or not, but... ]
Aim a little lower. No, a lot lower.
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Got it. You’re a photographer.
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You have a noble profession! But no, I don't have the eye for that sort of thing.
[ His drink arrives, and he takes a long sip before admitting: ]
I'm driving a taxi now. Quite the downgrade...
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[Adam stifles a laugh - even just the image of Maruki driving around in a little yellow taxi is hilarious.]
Come on, you can't tell me that and not explain how it happened.
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Ah... forgive me, it's still difficult to explain succinctly.
[ With that laughter faded, a more pensive air falls around Maruki as he nurses the drink, knuckles rapping nervously against the bar counter before he speaks. ]
The research that I dedicated my life to wasn't healthy for me, in the end. A dear friend helped me have a change of heart. Unfortunately my job options are rather limited, thanks to said life-dedicating, but... there are worse things to do than help people get to where they need to be, right?
no subject
He wants to dig in deeper - achingly curious - but its clear it's something Maruki feels antsy about.]
Yeah. You could be taking pictures of strangers cheating on their wives.
[Just as an example.]
You gonna start up a taxi business here, then? Not that much different from being a counsellor, if you think about it.
no subject
Adam.
[ It's not a reprimand. It's gentle, warm, as Maruki always is– but there's also the sensation that someone's given up on maintaining a mask he's long worn. ]
I've never told you what I researched, have I?
no subject
No.
[He figures it's something boring and lofty that he couldn't possibly wrap his head around, that requires about 10 minutes just to explain. But since it's Maruki, and it's important to him, he wants to know.]
It's not something kinky, is it?
[And despite all that, he's gotta ruin the moment.]
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Ah, how did you guess? Now I'm embarrassed...
no subject
[He smirks, then gives the man a nudge.]
No, but seriously, what was it?
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I dedicated myself to finding a way to remove all instances of pain and trauma from people's minds. Erasing all wounds of the heart, if you will.
[ He drums his fingers against the side of his glass, stares down into the liquid for a moment. ]
Counseling was a means to get closer to achieving that goal. It's for the best that I consider driving a taxi to be as different from that as possible.
no subject
Fair enough.
[He cradles his drink in his hands.]
I don’t think - there’s nothing wrong with trying to help people. Even if what you were trying to do sounds kinda impossible.
hehe we can wrap..... :3c
There are those he can tell the whole awful truth, and those he can't. So long as Adam understands what he has told him, that's all that matters – and he does, Maruki can tell he does. Even if he stumbles through an attempt at comfort, it's so earnest that he's touched down to the depths of his changed heart.
He lays a gentle arm around Adam's shoulders, gives a little squeeze. ]
It really does help to hear that. Thank you, Adam. I'm glad I'm back with you.