Ah... forgive me, it's still difficult to explain succinctly.
[ With that laughter faded, a more pensive air falls around Maruki as he nurses the drink, knuckles rapping nervously against the bar counter before he speaks. ]
The research that I dedicated my life to wasn't healthy for me, in the end. A dear friend helped me have a change of heart. Unfortunately my job options are rather limited, thanks to said life-dedicating, but... there are worse things to do than help people get to where they need to be, right?
[Adam listens with great interest. Come to think of it, outside of Maruki having been a counsellor - and Azathoth, which he tries to forget about - he doesn't really know a lot about his life outside of here.
He wants to dig in deeper - achingly curious - but its clear it's something Maruki feels antsy about.]
Yeah. You could be taking pictures of strangers cheating on their wives.
[Just as an example.]
You gonna start up a taxi business here, then? Not that much different from being a counsellor, if you think about it.
[ A short laugh, barely more than an exhale, as Maruki shoots Adam a Look. ]
Adam.
[ It's not a reprimand. It's gentle, warm, as Maruki always is– but there's also the sensation that someone's given up on maintaining a mask he's long worn. ]
[He figures it's something boring and lofty that he couldn't possibly wrap his head around, that requires about 10 minutes just to explain. But since it's Maruki, and it's important to him, he wants to know.]
It's not something kinky, is it?
[And despite all that, he's gotta ruin the moment.]
[ There's no sense in explaining the vast intricacies of cognitive psience. At its core is what Maruki wants Adam to understand. ]
I dedicated myself to finding a way to remove all instances of pain and trauma from people's minds. Erasing all wounds of the heart, if you will.
[ He drums his fingers against the side of his glass, stares down into the liquid for a moment. ]
Counseling was a means to get closer to achieving that goal. It's for the best that I consider driving a taxi to be as different from that as possible.
[ Adam reacted so poorly to seeing Azathoth merely as a demonstration of the power he could use to help protect his friend – he can't begin to think how he would react to finding out the vast scope of that power, its ability to influence all of reality.
There are those he can tell the whole awful truth, and those he can't. So long as Adam understands what he has told him, that's all that matters – and he does, Maruki can tell he does. Even if he stumbles through an attempt at comfort, it's so earnest that he's touched down to the depths of his changed heart.
He lays a gentle arm around Adam's shoulders, gives a little squeeze. ]
It really does help to hear that. Thank you, Adam. I'm glad I'm back with you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Some sort of cooking job might be one he could be happy at in the future, once he returns and figures out if he'll stay in Tokyo or not, but... ]
Aim a little lower. No, a lot lower.
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Got it. You’re a photographer.
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You have a noble profession! But no, I don't have the eye for that sort of thing.
[ His drink arrives, and he takes a long sip before admitting: ]
I'm driving a taxi now. Quite the downgrade...
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[Adam stifles a laugh - even just the image of Maruki driving around in a little yellow taxi is hilarious.]
Come on, you can't tell me that and not explain how it happened.
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Ah... forgive me, it's still difficult to explain succinctly.
[ With that laughter faded, a more pensive air falls around Maruki as he nurses the drink, knuckles rapping nervously against the bar counter before he speaks. ]
The research that I dedicated my life to wasn't healthy for me, in the end. A dear friend helped me have a change of heart. Unfortunately my job options are rather limited, thanks to said life-dedicating, but... there are worse things to do than help people get to where they need to be, right?
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He wants to dig in deeper - achingly curious - but its clear it's something Maruki feels antsy about.]
Yeah. You could be taking pictures of strangers cheating on their wives.
[Just as an example.]
You gonna start up a taxi business here, then? Not that much different from being a counsellor, if you think about it.
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Adam.
[ It's not a reprimand. It's gentle, warm, as Maruki always is– but there's also the sensation that someone's given up on maintaining a mask he's long worn. ]
I've never told you what I researched, have I?
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No.
[He figures it's something boring and lofty that he couldn't possibly wrap his head around, that requires about 10 minutes just to explain. But since it's Maruki, and it's important to him, he wants to know.]
It's not something kinky, is it?
[And despite all that, he's gotta ruin the moment.]
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Ah, how did you guess? Now I'm embarrassed...
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[He smirks, then gives the man a nudge.]
No, but seriously, what was it?
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I dedicated myself to finding a way to remove all instances of pain and trauma from people's minds. Erasing all wounds of the heart, if you will.
[ He drums his fingers against the side of his glass, stares down into the liquid for a moment. ]
Counseling was a means to get closer to achieving that goal. It's for the best that I consider driving a taxi to be as different from that as possible.
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Fair enough.
[He cradles his drink in his hands.]
I don’t think - there’s nothing wrong with trying to help people. Even if what you were trying to do sounds kinda impossible.
hehe we can wrap..... :3c
There are those he can tell the whole awful truth, and those he can't. So long as Adam understands what he has told him, that's all that matters – and he does, Maruki can tell he does. Even if he stumbles through an attempt at comfort, it's so earnest that he's touched down to the depths of his changed heart.
He lays a gentle arm around Adam's shoulders, gives a little squeeze. ]
It really does help to hear that. Thank you, Adam. I'm glad I'm back with you.