[And there's Maruki, of course, sitting right across from him. There's a book in Eren's lap. Green fires blaze, reflected in Maruki's glasses. He grips the leather-bound edges.
[He's sixteen.]
Why does it feel like I haven't seen you in a while?
[ It's utterly bizarre to dream of his old office once more; though it's been well over a year since he first arrived in this reality, a large part of Maruki will never forget how it felt to fall asleep in a strange new world and find himself in a dreamtime facsimile of his old one every single night. Armed with a dash more self-preservation and a lot of hindsight, he can see now how he was running himself ragged by counseling in his dreams...
But he can't ever bring himself to regret it. It's how he met so many people still important to him.
It's how he met Eren.
Maruki stares at him, this perfect image of his Other as he first knew him, the boy who became his first patient, his best friend. His expression is half awed, half fond. ]
I suppose... because it has been. [ He laughs, scratches at the stubbled line of his jaw. ] Do I look that much older?
[Immediately, Eren feels a lump in his throat. He doesn't like the sensation that they've been apart. Maruki's pain resonates in Eren's chest, and he reaches out to grip his friend's arm, pull himself up out of his chair.]
That must mean...it's him you're with... Is that right, Maruki?
[Maruki's love really does radiate. Eren becomes intensely aware, grip tightening on Maruki's sleeve, breath caught in his throat. It's you I'm with. Him. Them...]
Maruki... When you say that... [When Eren said it...] That you're with me...
[ Maruki's smile doesn't falter, but he does blink rapidly behind his glasses– he'd only meant it in the way he assumes Eren meant it, nothing more, but...
It must come through in his tone. He can hide it around most anyone else, but not Eren himself. ]
Ah... Well, that's...
[ A short, awkward laugh escapes his lips; his brows knit together, wholly unsure of how to answer that. ]
[It's like a tether is tugged, a rope, something that releases a trap door and allows Eren to exhale - forces him too, emptied and hollow and oh-so-calm. His eyes sparkle at his Other, though he doesn't know to call him that yet.]
[ Despite himself, Maruki's cheeks do color a bit at that. It is strange talking to Eren about it at this age, but... it's just Eren. No matter what, he's still his Other. ]
I do. I feel like I should clarify that I'm not... part of what you have with the others.
[ A beat.
He wants to believe this more than anything: ]
What we have is different than that. It's more than that.
[This ought to make it easier to believe; Eren's response is nearly immediate.]
I already knew that. I mean--
[Ah. And then the deeply ingrained embarrassment of being a teenager surfaces, and he has to look away, eyes slightly wide at his own odd confession. His hand flexes at his side, but he doesn't look...unhappy.]
Maruki doesn't doubt that. Eren told him he loved him after they'd only known one another for a couple months; I don't want you to understand. I love you too much.
No matter how he means that word, it's always been true. And if they were meant to meet one another here, then didn't they already love each other, even before they knew it?
Maruki's hands find Eren's, drawing them together so he can hold them tightly. ]
I'm so happy I get to see you again like this, Eren. Lately, these days...
[ Will Eren believe this? Surely not. ]
You smile so much around me. You seem so much younger and freer. I see you all the time in the man you become.
[Will Eren believe this? Surely not. It shows on his face, a skeptical look, almost as if he's waiting for some sick punchline, but Maruki wouldn't joke about this...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
first thread redux for the 2025 age & dream event
[And there's Maruki, of course, sitting right across from him. There's a book in Eren's lap. Green fires blaze, reflected in Maruki's glasses. He grips the leather-bound edges.
[He's sixteen.]
Why does it feel like I haven't seen you in a while?
no subject
But he can't ever bring himself to regret it. It's how he met so many people still important to him.
It's how he met Eren.
Maruki stares at him, this perfect image of his Other as he first knew him, the boy who became his first patient, his best friend. His expression is half awed, half fond. ]
I suppose... because it has been. [ He laughs, scratches at the stubbled line of his jaw. ] Do I look that much older?
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No. You look different, though.
We're dreaming again, aren't we? He's running out of ideas...
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Oh, this is fun.
Maruki crosses one leg over the other, ankle resting on knee, and folds his hands in his lap. ]
What if I told you Vaeros was dead?
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[Well. That gets his attention.]
What the hell do you mean by that? I'd tell you you're crazy.
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[ Maruki's head tips to one side, eyeing Eren curiously. ]
We always knew he wasn't the true ruler of this place, didn't we?
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[Eren weighs a serious look at his friend.]
You shouldn't know more than me about any of this. What's going on here?
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You were right. We're dreaming again. Back in reality... it's been a long time since I've seen you at this age.
[ A beat, heavy. Maruki can only ever be honest with Eren, now more so than ever.
There's just the slightest pained edge to his voice. ]
I missed you.
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That must mean...it's him you're with... Is that right, Maruki?
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It isn't a bad pain. Not at all.
Maruki lays a hand over the one Eren has wrapped around his arm now and smiles at him, radiating warmth, love. ]
It's you I'm with. You in the future. You're the same Eren as I've always known.
his dialogue looking like a laby sunny tag
Maruki... When you say that... [When Eren said it...] That you're with me...
How do you mean? What...are we like?
ASDHlkjsd STOP
It must come through in his tone. He can hide it around most anyone else, but not Eren himself. ]
Ah... Well, that's...
[ A short, awkward laugh escapes his lips; his brows knit together, wholly unsure of how to answer that. ]
It's odd, telling you when you're this age.
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Tell me anyway. Dammit, you're supposed to be able to tell me anything.
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The words come even weightier than the silence that precedes them. ]
You're important to me. More than anyone else.
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Do you really mean that...?
NOTTTTTT THE BLUSHTOLIVE
I do. I feel like I should clarify that I'm not... part of what you have with the others.
[ A beat.
He wants to believe this more than anything: ]
What we have is different than that. It's more than that.
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I already knew that. I mean--
[Ah. And then the deeply ingrained embarrassment of being a teenager surfaces, and he has to look away, eyes slightly wide at his own odd confession. His hand flexes at his side, but he doesn't look...unhappy.]
More? Yeah. Alright. Alright...
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You already knew that? How? You didn't know Vaeros was dead, and... all this happened after that!
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[His eyes are on Maruki again, cool green moss, some new sparkle.]
What we have is different. Haven't you always felt that way?
I have...
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[ Ah, are his cheeks getting even warmer? ]
This particular development took me by surprise anyway.
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Yeah, well...that doesn't surprise me.
[. . .]
I love you, though. I've always loved you. So...
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Maruki doesn't doubt that. Eren told him he loved him after they'd only known one another for a couple months; I don't want you to understand. I love you too much.
No matter how he means that word, it's always been true. And if they were meant to meet one another here, then didn't they already love each other, even before they knew it?
Maruki's hands find Eren's, drawing them together so he can hold them tightly. ]
I'm so happy I get to see you again like this, Eren. Lately, these days...
[ Will Eren believe this? Surely not. ]
You smile so much around me. You seem so much younger and freer. I see you all the time in the man you become.
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[He shakes his head.]
That's... That doesn't make any sense.
[Freer? Here?
[He squeezes Maruki's hands, anxious.]
That's wrong.
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I don't think it makes sense to you in the future, either. But that doesn't mean it isn't true.
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[It brings tears to his eyes, jealous and angry, even as he matches Maruki's breathing. His hands still grip his friend's, tight.]
That's not fair. After all he's done... How could he ever let himself be happy again?
EVIL ICON CHOICE
why didn't I upload any ugly wugly crybaby icons who AM I
god this is gonna be the most miserable wrap sorry