[If things had been different - if he had lived a different life, if he had woken up right in this world, he would know what the day is. He would know to handle Maruki like glass, to never call him out to the common area for a conversation, would simply sit in the quiet if that was all he needed.
But this Kurusu Akira has no way to know that. He's never lived that life, and no one has ever told him.
To Akira, it's only the anniversary of the day that Maruki found both him and Akechi covered in blood and half-alive. Not the best moment for either of them, but it isn't the focus of his thoughts. Maybe the competition nudged him along a little, but mostly by pure chance, he's thinking of something else entirely.
His arms are folded on the kotatsu , head resting atop it. He doesn't quite look up at Maruki as he starts to speak.]
If I were to ask you about someone you were close to... [slow, steady, like the heat is sapping away part of his worries] ...would you feel comfortable answering?
Not better than the last, but no worse, either. It's only different. Painfully, beautifully different; the day holds more weight for him than ever before, phantom bruises blooming across his jaw every time he looks at a Kurusu Akira who has no knowledge of his changed heart. Early in the morning, when he gratefully accepts a cup of coffee, he does consider if he should bring it up today of all days, but it still feels too fresh, too strangely intimate. One day, surely...
Still, he hasn't felt the same need to shut out the world that he did last year. The grief is still there, stinging keener than ever, but running and hiding is no longer an option. Maruki has gone about his day as normal, only a little quieter, a little slower to smile.
The smiles do come, though.
One dawns gently across his expression now, eyes tired but curious as he watches Akira not watching him. ]
I guess that depends on the question, but I can't imagine something I wouldn't tell you.
[ A little dread does gnaw at his gut; Chihaya managed to put a few pieces together about Eren and him. Has Akira done the same? ]
[There's too much on his mind these days, and Akira almost feels the compulsion to mention it jokingly. Something to keep the atmosphere light, a nice smokescreen to cover anything else that could slip through.
He doesn't. Akira only needs to be more careful with his words. Direct, but guarding his heart.]
Would you say that you understand Eren-san?
[With Maruki, who always sees straight through him, he must take great pains to be careful.]
[ The dread eases a bit. That's a far less direct question than what Chihaya asked. ]
Yes. [ Simple, gentle, warm. ] I'd say that I do.
[ Generally speaking, it's a fool's errand to ever say that one fully, completely, entirely understands another down to the darkest depths of their soul–
But if there is one person he can feel confident in making that gamble on, it is Eren Jaeger.
Still, Maruki isn't naive. He rests an elbow on the top of the kotatsu, props his chin up on his palm. ]
With that said, I know I see more sides of him than most do, so I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't understand him. I don't think that many people do. [ It's said non-judgmentally, and that's earnestly meant. There are a few others Maruki will always hold a bit of private ire toward for not extending more empathy to Eren, but Akira will never be one of them. ] Is there something you want me to clear up?
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action; 2/3, machiya
But this Kurusu Akira has no way to know that. He's never lived that life, and no one has ever told him.
To Akira, it's only the anniversary of the day that Maruki found both him and Akechi covered in blood and half-alive. Not the best moment for either of them, but it isn't the focus of his thoughts. Maybe the competition nudged him along a little, but mostly by pure chance, he's thinking of something else entirely.
His arms are folded on the kotatsu , head resting atop it. He doesn't quite look up at Maruki as he starts to speak.]
If I were to ask you about someone you were close to... [slow, steady, like the heat is sapping away part of his worries] ...would you feel comfortable answering?
ha ha yay <3
Not better than the last, but no worse, either. It's only different. Painfully, beautifully different; the day holds more weight for him than ever before, phantom bruises blooming across his jaw every time he looks at a Kurusu Akira who has no knowledge of his changed heart. Early in the morning, when he gratefully accepts a cup of coffee, he does consider if he should bring it up today of all days, but it still feels too fresh, too strangely intimate. One day, surely...
Still, he hasn't felt the same need to shut out the world that he did last year. The grief is still there, stinging keener than ever, but running and hiding is no longer an option. Maruki has gone about his day as normal, only a little quieter, a little slower to smile.
The smiles do come, though.
One dawns gently across his expression now, eyes tired but curious as he watches Akira not watching him. ]
I guess that depends on the question, but I can't imagine something I wouldn't tell you.
[ A little dread does gnaw at his gut; Chihaya managed to put a few pieces together about Eren and him. Has Akira done the same? ]
What's on your mind, Akira?
yay......
He doesn't. Akira only needs to be more careful with his words. Direct, but guarding his heart.]
Would you say that you understand Eren-san?
[With Maruki, who always sees straight through him, he must take great pains to be careful.]
no subject
Yes. [ Simple, gentle, warm. ] I'd say that I do.
[ Generally speaking, it's a fool's errand to ever say that one fully, completely, entirely understands another down to the darkest depths of their soul–
But if there is one person he can feel confident in making that gamble on, it is Eren Jaeger.
Still, Maruki isn't naive. He rests an elbow on the top of the kotatsu, props his chin up on his palm. ]
With that said, I know I see more sides of him than most do, so I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't understand him. I don't think that many people do. [ It's said non-judgmentally, and that's earnestly meant. There are a few others Maruki will always hold a bit of private ire toward for not extending more empathy to Eren, but Akira will never be one of them. ] Is there something you want me to clear up?