[ Not a single night has gone by since he returned that Eren hasn't held him until he's fallen asleep. He needs it – he's terrified of how badly he needs it – but still, it's never been quite like this. Skin to skin, he can feel every beat of Eren's heart and twitch of breath in his lungs as if it were his own.
Slowly, he tucks his face into the curve where Eren's shoulder meets his neck. Free from his glasses, he can press in there, hide away for a moment as he's held close. They'll get back to what they're doing, just...
For a minute, he needs this. He knows Eren will understand. ]
[Eren understands. He holds Maruki like a fragile bird, tucked there against his chest. Fingers soothe through the man's hair at his temples, tiny little kisses pecked to the top of his head. The windmill is silent, save for the dark wind outside. The candles flicker, making shadows dance on the walls, but they're safe. Maruki is safe.]
I love you...
did i spend half an hour rereading their labyrinth first time. yes i did
[ No one would ever understand this, would they? Even the people who love Eren most, who are lucky enough to be loved by him in return, wouldn't understand this. Even Maruki himself can't fathom the full extent of how deeply, profoundly lucky he is to be cared in totality by Eren Jaeger.
He breathes this safety in, holds it in his lungs until his head begins to swim. ]
I love you. [ It's sighed out, and then Maruki's lips begin to move along the line of muscle from Eren's shoulder to his neck, down to his collar bone, soft kisses planted everywhere he can reach without pulling away too far. ] I wish I could show you just how much I love you..
[A deep inhale; Eren breathes. His skin must be burning Maruki's lips, the air so cold, and Eren, blazing. He closes his eyes and makes a soft sound, something from the back of his throat that barely ghosts past parted lips.]
[ He takes his time kissing back up the column of Eren's throat, up and over the curve of his chin, until he reaches his lips again. Chest pressed to chest, he resumes his gentle scratching up and down Eren's back, words murmuring warm and close. ]
[ At least some, Maruki can likely guess. He's sure they're similar to thoughts he has. He wishes he could, in this world. He wishes his heart wasn't such a selfish, fearful, fragile thing.
The truth is, though... ]
I feel like... anything I could do would still be inadequate for how much I love you.
[ They were one, weren't they? Even if they didn't go all the way, Maruki still feels as if they were joined together in that empty world, the two headed beast they were always meant to be.
He shifts around on their nest until he's face to face with Eren again, fingertips trailing over his ribs, eyes warm and curious. ]
Maruki draws a deep breath, steadies himself. He feels weak too, but he doesn't want tonight to end in tears for either of them. They have what they have, and one day, they will have it all. And on that day– ]
I promise that I'll make it worth the wait.
[ One hand curves over his nape, draws him in close so Maruki can kiss his lips again, again, again. There's sweetness in that promise, but a steadily growing desperation in each kiss. ]
I love you. We can dream about it together right now, too.
[ Don't say it like that! Oh, god. There's an inferno raging just beneath his skin as he kisses Eren hard, clearly more flustered and trying to cover for it than anything else. ]
Maruki can't. He can't even try. Maybe in the future, he'll stretch his imagination, but right now– even the idea makes him feel too dizzy. He clings to Eren, fingers digging into bare skin, and tries to save face. ]
W-well, hah... you have a more active imagination than I do...
[It seems Maruki can't bear to talk about it anymore. Eren obliges and kisses him, lets the windmill fall silent again. He shouldn't be cruel - he's not trying to be, as endearing as Maruki is, blushing and stammering like that. Eren feels impossibly warm.]
[ Relief is there, palpable from how grateful he is to avoid continuing to talk about a topic like that– but there's clear hunger brought on by the conversation happening at all, too. Maruki pulls Eren in as close to him as he can, tangling their legs together, not cognizant of how it'll bring those sensitivities far too close. He doesn't care– he just wants to feel Eren against him, on top of him, enveloping him completely. Maruki kisses him until he's trembling and breathless, unwilling to let go. ]
[Of course, Eren feels it when he's pulled close, knees bumping between legs, bare stomachs pressed together, chests rising against each other. One arm wraps down low, the other around Maruki's shoulders, hand gripping the nape of his neck. He holds him there and kisses him - kisses him like he wants to devour him, tongue tasting.]
[ Just like that, they're back to where they started. Maruki's body arches against Eren's before going relaxed and pliant, all too happy to be wrapped up and kissed like they're both starved men. He does just as Eren asked before, lightly scratching blunt nails up and down the endless expanse of muscle that is his back, his torso, all the way down to his hips where his pants cling stubbornly and back up again.
It's enough. Just this– it's enough.
A soft, happy sound slips past Maruki's lips the next time he parts them for Eren to taste. He can't stop himself from smiling, even if it makes their kiss difficult. He'll never forget laughing in Eren's arms after they spilled against one another in their empty world. He couldn't be more content. ]
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Slowly, he tucks his face into the curve where Eren's shoulder meets his neck. Free from his glasses, he can press in there, hide away for a moment as he's held close. They'll get back to what they're doing, just...
For a minute, he needs this. He knows Eren will understand. ]
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I love you...
did i spend half an hour rereading their labyrinth first time. yes i did
He breathes this safety in, holds it in his lungs until his head begins to swim. ]
I love you. [ It's sighed out, and then Maruki's lips begin to move along the line of muscle from Eren's shoulder to his neck, down to his collar bone, soft kisses planted everywhere he can reach without pulling away too far. ] I wish I could show you just how much I love you..
ohhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH
I think about it all the time...
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What do you think about?
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A lot of things...
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The truth is, though... ]
I feel like... anything I could do would still be inadequate for how much I love you.
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It'll still be...
[He doesn't even know how to describe it...]
I don't know. We'll be one...
It almost feels like I should say "again".
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He shifts around on their nest until he's face to face with Eren again, fingertips trailing over his ribs, eyes warm and curious. ]
You think about that night a lot too, don't you?
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Of course I do. I dream about it.
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Maruki draws a deep breath, steadies himself. He feels weak too, but he doesn't want tonight to end in tears for either of them. They have what they have, and one day, they will have it all. And on that day– ]
I promise that I'll make it worth the wait.
[ One hand curves over his nape, draws him in close so Maruki can kiss his lips again, again, again. There's sweetness in that promise, but a steadily growing desperation in each kiss. ]
I love you. We can dream about it together right now, too.
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You won't have to try. Don't worry about that.
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But I want to try!
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I'll try. You just--
[Ah. Well...]
Just...enjoy yourself.
[A flicker of tongue between Maruki's lips.]
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You didn't picture it the other way, did you?
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I...
[ His eyes are closed. Don't look at him. ]
N-no, I didn't.
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I have. But I've pictured everything.
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Maruki can't. He can't even try. Maybe in the future, he'll stretch his imagination, but right now– even the idea makes him feel too dizzy. He clings to Eren, fingers digging into bare skin, and tries to save face. ]
W-well, hah... you have a more active imagination than I do...
[ Oh, god. ]
Kiss me again. Please.
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cries ohhhh do we wanna wrap
It's enough. Just this– it's enough.
A soft, happy sound slips past Maruki's lips the next time he parts them for Eren to taste. He can't stop himself from smiling, even if it makes their kiss difficult. He'll never forget laughing in Eren's arms after they spilled against one another in their empty world. He couldn't be more content. ]