[ It isn't regret, not really. Maruki feels a tremendous amount of guilt, and perhaps he always will, no matter how far he manages to walk on his changed heart's new path–
But he doesn't regret it. His dream, his promise to Rumi, his desire to help– he could never regret that.
This is just one more way in which he must atone. To regret would be to turn away from his own pain and the pain he caused others, and he can't do that. Not now, not ever again.
A deep, steady breath. His hands relax in his pockets, shoulders dropping down from where they'd tensed up around his ears. ]
Whatever it takes to return home, for good this time.
[ In truth, he'll do everything in his power to not see this reality torn apart at the seams when they leave–
But that's neither here nor there. ]
Akechi...
[ It catches in his throat. An apology Akechi doesn't want to hear. He doesn't give a shit about Maruki's remorse, he just said it himself.
He swallows it back. Approaches it sideways instead. ]
You didn't remember anything while you were there either, did you?
[ It's an ear piercing that starts to hum over static and the few pieces of Maruki's voice that work through -
Rage. Anger. He wants to slaughter him on the steps of a divine, holy place and-
Maruki is here, fulfilling a promise, waiting at the steps of a shrine in another world. Akechi knows no matter what happens he will arrive there on New Years day - alone. Maybe he'll remember why. Maybe he won't. He'll be alone in a place where a promise was made under every false pretense imaginable.
But he came now, despite the danger. He'll come later, despite-
It can't be grief. They don't have that relationship. Even when Maruki rubbed his back, chest, hair smoothed and body soothed at all ages-
No, it's not grief, because Akechi would not grieve him. He's worse than anyone. He's scum. He won't be upset, but he'll show up.
He'll show up. He shows up.
And the audacity of a man who-
Akechi realizes, now, never truly explained what happened. He acted on his urges. Power, ego - there were so many reasons.
Somehow, a loss of memory was the last explanation for it. Akechi isn't sure why he held that level of faith in him and-
He can't speak. He didn't remember either and maybe that's why his fingers dig so deep into his palms that he's sure he can feel blood through his gloves.
It's blinding. His eyes burn. He can't bring himself to blink. ]
If you must know, I didn't.
[ There's no reason to lie. Maruki wasn't important enough to recall. He hopes that stings too.
It stings. It stings. His eyes sting and burn and- ]
It looks like we were both fools, but I suppose it's hardly relevant now. Our outcomes are clear. Our path is obvious.
[ Maruki will ensure this world's destruction as penance. Akechi will get his revenge for once, once, for once in his life he will get his revenge against an unjust world and- ]
But in saying that, I'm not unconvinced there isn't a way to keep these memories. It's not a priority though. The goal is end this madness. That's all.
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But he doesn't regret it. His dream, his promise to Rumi, his desire to help– he could never regret that.
This is just one more way in which he must atone. To regret would be to turn away from his own pain and the pain he caused others, and he can't do that. Not now, not ever again.
A deep, steady breath. His hands relax in his pockets, shoulders dropping down from where they'd tensed up around his ears. ]
Whatever it takes to return home, for good this time.
[ In truth, he'll do everything in his power to not see this reality torn apart at the seams when they leave–
But that's neither here nor there. ]
Akechi...
[ It catches in his throat. An apology Akechi doesn't want to hear. He doesn't give a shit about Maruki's remorse, he just said it himself.
He swallows it back. Approaches it sideways instead. ]
You didn't remember anything while you were there either, did you?
no subject
Rage. Anger. He wants to slaughter him on the steps of a divine, holy place and-
Maruki is here, fulfilling a promise, waiting at the steps of a shrine in another world. Akechi knows no matter what happens he will arrive there on New Years day - alone. Maybe he'll remember why. Maybe he won't. He'll be alone in a place where a promise was made under every false pretense imaginable.
But he came now, despite the danger. He'll come later, despite-
It can't be grief. They don't have that relationship. Even when Maruki rubbed his back, chest, hair smoothed and body soothed at all ages-
No, it's not grief, because Akechi would not grieve him. He's worse than anyone. He's scum. He won't be upset, but he'll show up.
He'll show up. He shows up.
And the audacity of a man who-
Akechi realizes, now, never truly explained what happened. He acted on his urges. Power, ego - there were so many reasons.
Somehow, a loss of memory was the last explanation for it. Akechi isn't sure why he held that level of faith in him and-
He can't speak. He didn't remember either and maybe that's why his fingers dig so deep into his palms that he's sure he can feel blood through his gloves.
It's blinding. His eyes burn. He can't bring himself to blink. ]
If you must know, I didn't.
[ There's no reason to lie. Maruki wasn't important enough to recall. He hopes that stings too.
It stings. It stings. His eyes sting and burn and- ]
It looks like we were both fools, but I suppose it's hardly relevant now. Our outcomes are clear. Our path is obvious.
[ Maruki will ensure this world's destruction as penance. Akechi will get his revenge for once, once, for once in his life he will get his revenge against an unjust world and- ]
But in saying that, I'm not unconvinced there isn't a way to keep these memories. It's not a priority though. The goal is end this madness. That's all.