No. And if you knew anything about me, even by just what's in the myths, you'd know so.
[With a little scoff noise.]
But you're attempting to come at a very complex problem with lots of pieces to it that are variable. The very core though is that we have not and can not seem to get past the Labyrinth or into the castle without someone else's will allowing it--and that curbs quite a lot of what we can do overall.
[Loki took a drink of his tea, and blue-green eyes met Muraki's gaze. There was mischief, secrets, lies, truth, in those eyes. And determination.]
Do I think it's hopeless, no and that's not my style. I think we're limited in some ways, if you want to talk about what would be effective.
Ah–? I think you have me confused with someone else, Loki-san! I'm not coming at the problem at all... There's nothing a person like me can do about our circumstances, beyond my capacity as someone who listens to the worries of others.
[ Much has changed since the singular time they met in dreams. His public image is carefully curated. Lessons about revealing too much to those whose trust has not yet been earned and tested have been hard learned. And the bar of this topic is an extraordinarily high one to clear. ]
I was just curious about your take on things as someone who's been here longer. You're welcome to bounce ideas off of me if you'd like, though.
[Loki smiled as well, even took another sip of his tea.]
On the contrary, I'm not confused at all. In many ways you have to keep the larger problems and pictures in mind if you're going to help the rest of us get through all this. You need both the macro view and the micro view, yes? That, and based on prior conversations I believe you'd find an academic interest on the whys and hows this all works anyways.
[Pleasant, no judgement, entirely conversational.]
I'm not entirely sure what ideas I'd bounce off of you, but I did enjoy our last conversation so I'm glad to have another. I apologize for being so busy that I've not been able to check in.
Please! I'm the last person you have to apologize to for being busy. You've caught me in one of my rare moments of rest. This doesn't exactly happen every day.
[ He glances down at the notebook he'd been scribbling away in when Loki arrived, runs a finger around the rim of his tea cup. ]
An academic interest, certainly. I've been fortunate enough to speak to many people who know more about the history of this place than I do, so I'm aware that it's been possible to get past the labyrinth before. It's interesting that you described it as someone's will allowing it, though. Is there more you can say about that?
Because to my knowledge, no one has gotten past it without outside help. Either Vaeros allowing it and access to his cancel, such as the masquerade ball and feast last Year's turning, with the help of the dragons more recently to rescue the moon. Any of our own efforts to do so have had no success.
[Give a little information, perhaps get a lot, perhaps just have a nice conversation. Loki has another bite of his pastry, and a sip of tea before speaking again.]
Talking to people is good, and it's one of my main strategies when I'm first in a situation like this. Helps one get the lay of things, if nothing else. I assume most of your talking with people is done through counseling though. If I understand, that's meant to be private and confidential. Despite my curiosity, I won't ask then.
[ If will can allow it, then will can force it. Of this, Maruki is certain. Any efforts in the past lacked what he knows he and a select few others are capable of if their will is focused, honed, sharpened, weaponized. The creature born from his soul is proof enough.
That said – it's nothing he didn't know already. Noted anyway and moved past with kind efficiency. ]
Hah! Thank you for respecting the confidentiality of my patients – that's not always a given with folks here.
[ The Duck. ]
It's true that I spend most of my time speaking to people in my capacity as a counselor, but I've been lucky enough to develop some relationships outside of that. I do think that in the end, it will be the strength of our bonds that help us to break free of this reality.
[ And then he rests his chin on his palm and asks a genuinely curious question: ]
Who would you say that you're closest to in Somnius, Loki-san?
[If Loki knew Maruki's thoughts, he wouldn't disagree. Magic was all about enacting your will on reality. But so far the dreamer's will had not been enough.]
I've a vague idea of patient confidentiality, even if I'm not used to the idea of therapy as you practice it as a counselor.
[Loki raises an eyebrow with the genuine question, and the trail of the conversation. It's not anything that Loki hasn't thought about too, how the contract and conditions of the wishes were quite insidious. 'Live' was actually quite complicated an a nasty trap in some ways.]
Why do you ask? It's a difficult question, considering that until relatively recently I didn't really care for anyone but myself.
General curiosity, really. I've found that there are many here who didn't form bonds back in their realities and have been slowly learning to here. There's some significance to that, in my opinion – for all the faults in this reality, we are at least afforded the opportunity to connect with others we never would have otherwise met.
[ See also: Aforementioned statement about the power of bonds. I am thou, thou art I, etc. ]
What's the significance do you think? I've formed 'bonds' before back home, and certainly had them, but I wouldn't say I really 'cared' for them overall. Never one for sentimentality really. I still only do so in very rare circumstances now, despite that I finally have actual and proper 'friends' of my own. Even a family of my own choosing and making, as you know Alice Liddell is my adopted daughter while we're here.
[It did and didn't answer his question, but was part of an answer. Also nothing Loki really had hidden. Although he still was not fully prepared to share with just anyone how much he had loved his mother. How much he regret fighting with her, before her murder. He'd questioned his worth and bonds to Thor and Odin, but even at his worst--Frigga had made it clear she valued him, loved him.]
[ The significance is the aforementioned opportunity to form bonds with those who would never otherwise cross their paths due to disparate realities, or even disparate lives in the same reality, but that's neither here nor there as something else catches his attention. ]
You had people you were bonded to, but you didn't care for them? I wonder, how does that work?
A bond doesn't necessarily imply someone cares for someone else. It implies a 'tie'. A connection, whether it's wanted or not. A family is a set of bonds, and the one you're born too may include people you do not care for at all. They're simply tied to you by blood and by the 'bond' known as family.
[Whereas Loki thinks there's something more to that. This place does place significance on bonds though, as that's how they all gain shards if nothing else. By talking to others.]
You've never encountered someone with an unwanted and unlooked for bond?
You didn't say anything about the bonds we don't want having value. In any case, how lucky for you. Optimism, so long as it isn't blind, is a good trait to have I'm told. Keeps a person young and vibrant. Anything can be valuable if you look for it, but that doesn't mean it's wanted.
[Loki is still simply enjoying the conversation, and has a sip from his tea and another bite of pastry. His tone is entirely genuine too, with no hint of snark or sarcasm.]
True enough, I suppose. I think we simply differ on the personal definition of a bond, which is expected. We come from very different realities.
[ Maruki's tea is nearly gone, but he's slow to finish it, one more thought on his mind: ]
Speaking of, that's another thing I'm curious about with regards to the general populace... Is there anyone else from your reality here, or is it only you?
There's one other from my direct reality, and then one who's not from my direct reality, but an adjacent one that's very similar. The idea of a multiverse is not new to me, in other words.
Ah, that's good to hear– hopefully, anyway! So long as you can stand them.
[ Speak of the devil: In his pocket, his smartphone buzzes incessantly. With an apologetic smile and a murmured please excuse my rudeness, he pulls it out to check it, brows furrowing briefly before his expression smooths out again. ]
You might even be lucky enough to live with one of them, and be at their beck and call.
Unfortunately, that's the case more often than not. I'm rarely at rest.
[ He's sheepish about it, at least. ]
He'll be fine for a bit longer. What were we– ah, right, bonds and such. I just wonder, sometimes, about the patterns of those of us who are here alone, and those of us with others from our realities. And that's even before matters get complicated by people leaving and reappearing...
It is a whole lovely tangled mess of a knot we're dealing with, isn't it? When I arrived, the note left in my satchel said “Welcome to my Labyrinth. Per our agreement, you have consented to live your life here for an undetermined amount of time. In exchange, I will grant you the wish that you desire the most.” It's a very nice little terrible condition, isn't it? Live here.
[Living was actually very complicated. Loki moves to finish the pastry, aware that while Maruki is still here--he'll likely leave the cafe soon. At this rate, Loki will have to sign up for counseling just for conversation.]
It's certainly interesting wording. Rather open-ended, isn't it? If all we truly have to do is live, well... There are infinite ways to live one's life.
[ Two hands before him, palms up. A weighty gesture with one. ]
For some, living means getting to enjoy a reality that's comparatively less volatile than the one they left behind, or a second chance at life after death. Simply getting to live at all is enough, and they'll take whatever happens here as a natural consequence.
[ And then the other. ]
For others, living under contract is untenable no matter what else happens, good or bad. Living means fighting at all costs to be free again– or perhaps free for the first time in their lives. The things that happen here, then, become part of that fight.
[ A beat, and then he looks down at his hands and drops them, shrugging and laughing. ]
And a million other possibilities! I suppose everyone's definition of what it means to live here is different.
As I said, a wonderful, awful little knot isn't it?
[Loki chuckles, delighted with the conversation actually.]
I've only been here since just before the year's turning at winter. But I've been doing my best to keep detailed notes of the goings on, and gather as much information as I can. Looking for patterns, and the whys and wherefores.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[With a little scoff noise.]
But you're attempting to come at a very complex problem with lots of pieces to it that are variable. The very core though is that we have not and can not seem to get past the Labyrinth or into the castle without someone else's will allowing it--and that curbs quite a lot of what we can do overall.
[Loki took a drink of his tea, and blue-green eyes met Muraki's gaze. There was mischief, secrets, lies, truth, in those eyes. And determination.]
Do I think it's hopeless, no and that's not my style. I think we're limited in some ways, if you want to talk about what would be effective.
no subject
Ah–? I think you have me confused with someone else, Loki-san! I'm not coming at the problem at all... There's nothing a person like me can do about our circumstances, beyond my capacity as someone who listens to the worries of others.
[ Much has changed since the singular time they met in dreams. His public image is carefully curated. Lessons about revealing too much to those whose trust has not yet been earned and tested have been hard learned. And the bar of this topic is an extraordinarily high one to clear. ]
I was just curious about your take on things as someone who's been here longer. You're welcome to bounce ideas off of me if you'd like, though.
no subject
On the contrary, I'm not confused at all. In many ways you have to keep the larger problems and pictures in mind if you're going to help the rest of us get through all this. You need both the macro view and the micro view, yes? That, and based on prior conversations I believe you'd find an academic interest on the whys and hows this all works anyways.
[Pleasant, no judgement, entirely conversational.]
I'm not entirely sure what ideas I'd bounce off of you, but I did enjoy our last conversation so I'm glad to have another. I apologize for being so busy that I've not been able to check in.
no subject
Please! I'm the last person you have to apologize to for being busy. You've caught me in one of my rare moments of rest. This doesn't exactly happen every day.
[ He glances down at the notebook he'd been scribbling away in when Loki arrived, runs a finger around the rim of his tea cup. ]
An academic interest, certainly. I've been fortunate enough to speak to many people who know more about the history of this place than I do, so I'm aware that it's been possible to get past the labyrinth before. It's interesting that you described it as someone's will allowing it, though. Is there more you can say about that?
no subject
[Give a little information, perhaps get a lot, perhaps just have a nice conversation. Loki has another bite of his pastry, and a sip of tea before speaking again.]
Talking to people is good, and it's one of my main strategies when I'm first in a situation like this. Helps one get the lay of things, if nothing else. I assume most of your talking with people is done through counseling though. If I understand, that's meant to be private and confidential. Despite my curiosity, I won't ask then.
no subject
That said – it's nothing he didn't know already. Noted anyway and moved past with kind efficiency. ]
Hah! Thank you for respecting the confidentiality of my patients – that's not always a given with folks here.
[ The Duck. ]
It's true that I spend most of my time speaking to people in my capacity as a counselor, but I've been lucky enough to develop some relationships outside of that. I do think that in the end, it will be the strength of our bonds that help us to break free of this reality.
[ And then he rests his chin on his palm and asks a genuinely curious question: ]
Who would you say that you're closest to in Somnius, Loki-san?
no subject
I've a vague idea of patient confidentiality, even if I'm not used to the idea of therapy as you practice it as a counselor.
[Loki raises an eyebrow with the genuine question, and the trail of the conversation. It's not anything that Loki hasn't thought about too, how the contract and conditions of the wishes were quite insidious. 'Live' was actually quite complicated an a nasty trap in some ways.]
Why do you ask? It's a difficult question, considering that until relatively recently I didn't really care for anyone but myself.
no subject
General curiosity, really. I've found that there are many here who didn't form bonds back in their realities and have been slowly learning to here. There's some significance to that, in my opinion – for all the faults in this reality, we are at least afforded the opportunity to connect with others we never would have otherwise met.
[ See also: Aforementioned statement about the power of bonds. I am thou, thou art I, etc. ]
no subject
[It did and didn't answer his question, but was part of an answer. Also nothing Loki really had hidden. Although he still was not fully prepared to share with just anyone how much he had loved his mother. How much he regret fighting with her, before her murder. He'd questioned his worth and bonds to Thor and Odin, but even at his worst--Frigga had made it clear she valued him, loved him.]
no subject
You had people you were bonded to, but you didn't care for them? I wonder, how does that work?
no subject
[Whereas Loki thinks there's something more to that. This place does place significance on bonds though, as that's how they all gain shards if nothing else. By talking to others.]
You've never encountered someone with an unwanted and unlooked for bond?
no subject
No, I haven't. I tend to be able to find the value in any bond I'm lucky enough to forge.
no subject
[Loki is still simply enjoying the conversation, and has a sip from his tea and another bite of pastry. His tone is entirely genuine too, with no hint of snark or sarcasm.]
no subject
[ Maruki's tea is nearly gone, but he's slow to finish it, one more thought on his mind: ]
Speaking of, that's another thing I'm curious about with regards to the general populace... Is there anyone else from your reality here, or is it only you?
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no subject
[ Speak of the devil: In his pocket, his smartphone buzzes incessantly. With an apologetic smile and a murmured please excuse my rudeness, he pulls it out to check it, brows furrowing briefly before his expression smooths out again. ]
You might even be lucky enough to live with one of them, and be at their beck and call.
no subject
[Loki just raises an eyebrow.]
Seems like the best way to get you for a conversation without interruptions is to schedule an appointment.
no subject
[ He's sheepish about it, at least. ]
He'll be fine for a bit longer. What were we– ah, right, bonds and such. I just wonder, sometimes, about the patterns of those of us who are here alone, and those of us with others from our realities. And that's even before matters get complicated by people leaving and reappearing...
no subject
[Living was actually very complicated. Loki moves to finish the pastry, aware that while Maruki is still here--he'll likely leave the cafe soon. At this rate, Loki will have to sign up for counseling just for conversation.]
no subject
[ Two hands before him, palms up. A weighty gesture with one. ]
For some, living means getting to enjoy a reality that's comparatively less volatile than the one they left behind, or a second chance at life after death. Simply getting to live at all is enough, and they'll take whatever happens here as a natural consequence.
[ And then the other. ]
For others, living under contract is untenable no matter what else happens, good or bad. Living means fighting at all costs to be free again– or perhaps free for the first time in their lives. The things that happen here, then, become part of that fight.
[ A beat, and then he looks down at his hands and drops them, shrugging and laughing. ]
And a million other possibilities! I suppose everyone's definition of what it means to live here is different.
no subject
[Loki chuckles, delighted with the conversation actually.]
I've only been here since just before the year's turning at winter. But I've been doing my best to keep detailed notes of the goings on, and gather as much information as I can. Looking for patterns, and the whys and wherefores.