(you can pm me here or on plurk if you'd like to beforehand, but also if you'd just like to drop something at my doorstep with no preamble please do!!)
[ Maruki has taken the time to check in on all of the former Phantom Thieves here and there, both from the safety of his Palace and out in the real world. He doesn't harbor a single ounce of ill will toward any of them, and he cares just as deeply about them as he did before. Seeing them so peaceful and fulfilled warms him like nothing else. Personal satisfaction in seeing his work well done plays a role too, of course, but for the most part – he just likes to know they're really, truly happy.
And they are. But they're also largely the same people they were before. Sakamoto just as hotheaded and liable to shoot off at the mouth before thinking, Kitagawa just as lost in his own fanciful world, Sakura just as chronically plugged into the internet. They didn't wish for those core aspects of their personality to be changed, they only wished for fixes to their greatest pains.
Akechi is–
Different.
This is different.
Why is this different?
He is deferential, and complimentary, and chatty, and kind, so incredibly kind. Even when Maruki wished they could have met under happier circumstances to debate free will and all that entails, he didn't kid himself to think Akechi would act anything close to– this. For whatever reason, seeing this doesn't spike the same affectionate pride in him. Maybe it's because he never had a chance to counsel Akechi, never spent time forging that bond in the long shadows cast in the nurse's office even when nothing substantial was said. Or maybe– ]
I believe it. Dopamine is hugely important to cohesive teamwork, so anything that heightens that release could help.
[ He steps up to the mat for his final turn, aware that it's highly unlikely he'll hit the right number to get them down to zero. At least the machine is kind enough to tell him what to aim for, but he's definitely not good enough to guarantee any accuracy. Next time, he'll let Akechi go first so they have a fighting chance at winning. What a strange concession, considering– everything.
Maruki shakes the nervous tension out of his arms and shoulders before setting himself up, dart at eye level, squinting behind his glasses.
The way he sees it, there are three options for what's going on with Akechi.
One: The Akechi that he met in his Palace, in Jazz Jin, was never his true self after all. Whatever happened to him in Shido's Palace warped and twisted him into a vengeful, irritated young man with a white knuckle grip on his calm exterior. What he's seeing now is the truth, an Akechi that he never got to know. That Akira surely never got to know either. But if Akira wished to have him back, then that doesn't quite line up, there's a discrepancy that should have been addressed–
Single 9.
Two: Akechi's wish was to become a different person entirely. This Akechi behind him is the one who never existed, not even in concept. A fabricated identity that Akechi wanted to retreat into because living as himself was too painful. That feels closer, but still–
Double 11.
Three: Akechi's wish had nothing to do with this person that he is now. When Maruki gave him the gift of a painless life, it changed his circumstances so severely that he became someone else entirely. Which is fine – it's good, actually, because he never should have been put through such a hell in the first place, should have been allowed to live an easy life full of love and every opportunity to pursue his dreams. It's what Maruki wanted to do for everyone. It's what he did do for everyone. But this is the only one he's encountered who–
He remembers with a sudden spike of clarity: I will not turn into a puppet.
Single 5. Just a hair outside the bullseye.
Too many points left on the board for them to check out. He turns back to Akechi with an apologetic smile. ]
I definitely did better than I would have if I tried to learn to play alone, but I'm sorry we couldn't win.
[ There is no room for doubt in a perfect world. There is no reason to question anything. There is nothing to worry about. He removed those difficulties – for everyone else. It's a reprieve he won't be allowed in the same way, and until tonight, it wasn't really an issue.
An ache is starting to form just behind his eyes, but he soldiers on, raising his voice a bit to be heard over a sudden commotion from one of the billiards tables. ]
With defeat in a game, a loss felt and burning furiously in his chest. A pain ripping and searing every across his flesh like lashes from claws and teeth in a world blurred at the edges.
He didn't hear a word over the raucous group next to them. The man's voice drowned out by the-
[ Before the fusion of this perfect world, he was already extraordinarily skilled at picking up on subtle shifts in mood, tone, body language. Since then, even with his limited interaction with other humans, it's only been heightened. It must be part and parcel of being the one to stitch this world together. Of course any flicker of stress, unhappiness, confusion, pain registers to him. It shouldn't exist.
He sees Akechi's breath catch, hears the absent tone of his voice.
Azathoth is with him, always. They rarely have reason to communicate outside of his Palace, but now there is the familiar voice in his head, snaking around his senses like dark tendrils, telling him to either fix this or leave.
But Maruki isn't a god. He's a vessel, and one that's still all too human. His instinct kicks in before he can stop to consider anything else, and he leans in closer to be heard over the laughing group. ]
I only asked if you wanted to play again, Akechi-kun, but if you're not feeling well–
[ Panic squeezes his heart before he can finish.
Akechi never told him his name. ]
OH THIS IS QUITE THE PICKLE DICKLE A LITTLE PROBLEM WOBLEM
[That's his name That's his name That's his name that's his name that's his name-
it's his name that's his name and-
It's his name. He said his name. Akechi is his name. He knows his name. They've never met and the name falls from his lips with certainty, with confidence, with-
Knowing. Knowledge. He knows his name.
Nothing floods back.
Like an hourglass stuck mid drop, a vase drained of all but a single drop.
Nothing changes and everything does. It's being filled with nothing, ripped apart to air. For a second, split feels whole and-
He laughs - frazzled, saccharine, miserable and joyous all the same. A mixture of static as he threads both his palms through his hair, tugging at strands. As if the sting against his skull is enough to keep it there, keep him there, keep this feeling there with-]
Maruki.
[Inhale. Exhale. His hands still and affixed to his skull until-
It drops. Both hands fall, like a marionette snapped free from the shadows.
He smiles. It's normal. This is all normal.]
My apologies - I think I need some air. Will you come with me?
[Please come with him. He hopes Maruki comes with him. Dreams and thinks about all the times he came with him and filled an alleyway with blood splattered with him in a world that doesn't need him and-
He blinks.]
To-
[And again. What was he saying? More wants to come out and-]
I'm afraid I'll pass out and don't want to be stuck there alone.
[Is he even talking? And-]
I feel like a prince lost in my own palace right now. Is that weird?
stares up at the sun until my eyes burn out of my head
He freezes, gaze wide and wild and fixed directly on Akechi, a rush of blood pounding relentlessly in his ears over everything else he says.
Leave. He needs to leave. He needs to leave without Akechi, get away from Akechi, get himself back to the Metaverse, where nothing and no one can touch him, where he'll never venture out into this world long enough again to catch any sight of even the slightest imperfections, where he'll complete his life sentence alone, where he'll eventually die, if he can even still die–
No, he can. Not a god, but a vessel. He absolutely can.
Prince and palace seize him around the throat and hurtle him back into reality all at once, the overwhelming noise of Penguin Sniper flooding back in, the shifting look in Akechi's eyes. ]
No. I don't think that I should.
[ Azathoth first appeared to him in the true reality, both of them seeking one another out across time and space, that perfect moment under a bleeding sky finally making it possible to connect.
Just as Azathoth would not be able to use the Metaverse to bring about global change without him, Maruki cannot summon his power when he is outside of those bounds. That latent connection between them throbbing in his temples is a pale version of what they're able to accomplish together in their own realm, and it beats now like a warning signal, an alarm calling him back.
By not walking away at the first sign of Akechi, by indulging his ego enough to think he could slide comfortably around the shimmering edges of this reality, he's made himself a sitting duck.
Maruki swallows hard, stares Akechi down, horrified and furious in equal measure.
A crack. Plaster splintering, spreading, consuming-
It doesn't matter-
That reality is warping, twisting, churning in Akechi's mind alone. His heart alone. Fear in Maruki's eyes his to consume alone. A betrayal so vile the thought makes his tongue feel coated with acidic sick. The man in front of him is the cause. A temptation provided.
A knife in his back-
What he deserves
More than anything and-
A brewing, all consuming wrath in his chest that's no longer an ache - it's a numbing agent as his soul forces itself through every shattered piece of Akechi Goro that remains.
And Akechi Goro will make him pay.
The screams
Don't
Register.
An opportunity - a frayed edge. Akechi has always thrived with his back pressed into a corner, with an ever dimming room closing in around him.
The darts are in his hands and-
the pointed tips aim for Maruki's neck as he lunges across the table.
His mom, not his mom, never his mom, that wouldn't be his mom, that disgusting abomination of a copy isn't his dangling, step stool kicked under her, blue tinted body mom and it's not the mom of Akechi Goro so he doesn't register her splintered, ten splinters, ten pieces of glass shattering against the floor as she ring, ring, rings in a tone that compels someone who isn't Akechi Goro to pick up and -
[ The needle-sharp tips of the darts make impact and–
Reality tears. Rips. Shreds. Falls away, like so many scales from Akechi's eyes, furious gaze boring holes into Maruki's own as he dives, shoves, topples both of them over onto the ground.
Each point dug deep into his throat shreds, rips, tears, and if Maruki screams, if he cries out, if he makes any noise at all, then he can't hear it. Can't hear anything but the blood pounding in his own ears like ocean waves–
the weekend spent at Kamakura with Rumi, how she laughed when a rogue wave crested overhead and knocked him clean off his feet
–and the rumble of Azathoth's might, distant from him now, muted by layer upon layer of cognition holding this reality together as it rips, tears, shreds–
There's blood in his mouth and
streaked across her hands as she searched for any sign of life in her parents
streaking down his throat with
the delicate, graceful curve of her neck as she turned to call to him in that field of wildflowers
every gasping breath
quiet and even when she slept in on her days off, sometimes past noon, he could never bring himself to disturb her when she looked so peacefully content
and blind plea. ]
Get off–
[ Hands fisted in his shirt. Arms trying to shove him off. Reality unraveling beneath his fingertips as Akechi Goro only comes more alive.
Every word burns, chokes, but Maruki can't stop himself, could never stop himself. An appeal to the better nature that he knows must have existed once, that he ensured could exist again. ]
You don't want to do this, please, you aren't a puppet, you're–
[It won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter -
how Maruki struggles under Akechi's grip.
it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter because
He won't stop. He won't stop. He won't stop. He won't stop. He won't stop.]
I'll be joining you.
[Another needle to the eye, viciously dug until an offwhite liquid with streaks of red flow out and-
He won't stop it won't matter he won't stop it won't matter he's free he's free he's free he's free and-
He laughs - light, and airy. Bright, and joyous. Content and
free]
I'm Akechi Goro and we will never meet again.
[Wisps of smoke appear in his vision he remembers -
The first he killed someone in a terrifying, massive, overwhelming world - he can't remember who it was.
Can't remember how he felt. Only recalls the shadows pulled free from a false corpse that now return to pull him down, down down.
Drag him down. He deserves it. Maruki deserves it.
He remembers his mom as bruises form around Maruki's neck from fingers that lock together like rope -
Ten splinters on a rafter - he counts the veins popping in the man's neck. Not ten, maybe five, it's blurry.
A blinding television studio where he met Akira -
Maybe on the subway
Maybe on the street. Maybe passing forces on a sidewalk and their fates were intertwined from the second he stepped foot in Tokyo.
Akira betrayed him. Kurusu betrayed him.
Akechi will never forgive him. Wishes for him to be trapped in a false world he condemned them all too, even as reality crumbles.
He can't breathe. Neither can Maruki. Maruki isn't breathing. The chest under him stops moving, hands stop moving, Akechi-
stops moving
because he can't.
Because he isn't there. Because he is. Because there's a second, a minute, a moment where he wonders -
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
And they are. But they're also largely the same people they were before. Sakamoto just as hotheaded and liable to shoot off at the mouth before thinking, Kitagawa just as lost in his own fanciful world, Sakura just as chronically plugged into the internet. They didn't wish for those core aspects of their personality to be changed, they only wished for fixes to their greatest pains.
Akechi is–
Different.
This is different.
Why is this different?
He is deferential, and complimentary, and chatty, and kind, so incredibly kind. Even when Maruki wished they could have met under happier circumstances to debate free will and all that entails, he didn't kid himself to think Akechi would act anything close to– this. For whatever reason, seeing this doesn't spike the same affectionate pride in him. Maybe it's because he never had a chance to counsel Akechi, never spent time forging that bond in the long shadows cast in the nurse's office even when nothing substantial was said. Or maybe– ]
I believe it. Dopamine is hugely important to cohesive teamwork, so anything that heightens that release could help.
[ He steps up to the mat for his final turn, aware that it's highly unlikely he'll hit the right number to get them down to zero. At least the machine is kind enough to tell him what to aim for, but he's definitely not good enough to guarantee any accuracy. Next time, he'll let Akechi go first so they have a fighting chance at winning. What a strange concession, considering– everything.
Maruki shakes the nervous tension out of his arms and shoulders before setting himself up, dart at eye level, squinting behind his glasses.
The way he sees it, there are three options for what's going on with Akechi.
One: The Akechi that he met in his Palace, in Jazz Jin, was never his true self after all. Whatever happened to him in Shido's Palace warped and twisted him into a vengeful, irritated young man with a white knuckle grip on his calm exterior. What he's seeing now is the truth, an Akechi that he never got to know. That Akira surely never got to know either. But if Akira wished to have him back, then that doesn't quite line up, there's a discrepancy that should have been addressed–
Single 9.
Two: Akechi's wish was to become a different person entirely. This Akechi behind him is the one who never existed, not even in concept. A fabricated identity that Akechi wanted to retreat into because living as himself was too painful. That feels closer, but still–
Double 11.
Three: Akechi's wish had nothing to do with this person that he is now. When Maruki gave him the gift of a painless life, it changed his circumstances so severely that he became someone else entirely. Which is fine – it's good, actually, because he never should have been put through such a hell in the first place, should have been allowed to live an easy life full of love and every opportunity to pursue his dreams. It's what Maruki wanted to do for everyone. It's what he did do for everyone. But this is the only one he's encountered who–
He remembers with a sudden spike of clarity: I will not turn into a puppet.
Single 5. Just a hair outside the bullseye.
Too many points left on the board for them to check out. He turns back to Akechi with an apologetic smile. ]
I definitely did better than I would have if I tried to learn to play alone, but I'm sorry we couldn't win.
[ There is no room for doubt in a perfect world. There is no reason to question anything. There is nothing to worry about. He removed those difficulties – for everyone else. It's a reprieve he won't be allowed in the same way, and until tonight, it wasn't really an issue.
An ache is starting to form just behind his eyes, but he soldiers on, raising his voice a bit to be heard over a sudden commotion from one of the billiards tables. ]
Shall we have a rematch? You can go first.
no subject
Rebels.
It-
Aches.
It-
Stings
With defeat in a game, a loss felt and burning furiously in his chest. A pain ripping and searing every across his flesh like lashes from claws and teeth in a world blurred at the edges.
He didn't hear a word over the raucous group next to them. The man's voice drowned out by the-
fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fakefakefakefakefakefake-
Happy world around them.
Breath paralyzed, heart racing - recovering from a marathon instead of two step walk to a too bright machine.]
The air quality was supposed to be good today.
[Absent mindedly - like the woes of his current situation are due to smog on a hot summer evening, instead of-]
I'm sorry - what did you say? I couldn't hear.
hands you a tear in reality hands you a tear in reality :3c fuck it up king
He sees Akechi's breath catch, hears the absent tone of his voice.
Azathoth is with him, always. They rarely have reason to communicate outside of his Palace, but now there is the familiar voice in his head, snaking around his senses like dark tendrils, telling him to either fix this or leave.
But Maruki isn't a god. He's a vessel, and one that's still all too human. His instinct kicks in before he can stop to consider anything else, and he leans in closer to be heard over the laughing group. ]
I only asked if you wanted to play again, Akechi-kun, but if you're not feeling well–
[ Panic squeezes his heart before he can finish.
Akechi never told him his name. ]
OH THIS IS QUITE THE PICKLE DICKLE A LITTLE PROBLEM WOBLEM
it's his name that's his name and-
It's his name. He said his name. Akechi is his name. He knows his name. They've never met and the name falls from his lips with certainty, with confidence, with-
Knowing. Knowledge. He knows his name.
Nothing floods back.
Like an hourglass stuck mid drop, a vase drained of all but a single drop.
Nothing changes and everything does. It's being filled with nothing, ripped apart to air. For a second, split feels whole and-
He laughs - frazzled, saccharine, miserable and joyous all the same. A mixture of static as he threads both his palms through his hair, tugging at strands. As if the sting against his skull is enough to keep it there, keep him there, keep this feeling there with-]
Maruki.
[Inhale. Exhale. His hands still and affixed to his skull until-
It drops. Both hands fall, like a marionette snapped free from the shadows.
He smiles. It's normal. This is all normal.]
My apologies - I think I need some air. Will you come with me?
[Please come with him. He hopes Maruki comes with him. Dreams and thinks about all the times he came with him and filled an alleyway with blood splattered with him in a world that doesn't need him and-
He blinks.]
To-
[And again. What was he saying? More wants to come out and-]
I'm afraid I'll pass out and don't want to be stuck there alone.
[Is he even talking? And-]
I feel like a prince lost in my own palace right now. Is that weird?
stares up at the sun until my eyes burn out of my head
He freezes, gaze wide and wild and fixed directly on Akechi, a rush of blood pounding relentlessly in his ears over everything else he says.
Leave. He needs to leave. He needs to leave without Akechi, get away from Akechi, get himself back to the Metaverse, where nothing and no one can touch him, where he'll never venture out into this world long enough again to catch any sight of even the slightest imperfections, where he'll complete his life sentence alone, where he'll eventually die, if he can even still die–
No, he can. Not a god, but a vessel. He absolutely can.
Prince and palace seize him around the throat and hurtle him back into reality all at once, the overwhelming noise of Penguin Sniper flooding back in, the shifting look in Akechi's eyes. ]
No. I don't think that I should.
[ Azathoth first appeared to him in the true reality, both of them seeking one another out across time and space, that perfect moment under a bleeding sky finally making it possible to connect.
Just as Azathoth would not be able to use the Metaverse to bring about global change without him, Maruki cannot summon his power when he is outside of those bounds. That latent connection between them throbbing in his temples is a pale version of what they're able to accomplish together in their own realm, and it beats now like a warning signal, an alarm calling him back.
By not walking away at the first sign of Akechi, by indulging his ego enough to think he could slide comfortably around the shimmering edges of this reality, he's made himself a sitting duck.
Maruki swallows hard, stares Akechi down, horrified and furious in equal measure.
A statement, not a question. ]
You know who I am, don't you.
surprise
All at once-
He doesn't fucking care anymore.Controlled. Tamed. Leashed. Chained.
Manufactured.
Wanted pliable, malleable, easy-A wish.
A crack. Plaster splintering, spreading, consuming-It doesn't matter-
That reality is warping, twisting, churning in Akechi's mind alone. His heart alone. Fear in Maruki's eyes his to consume alone. A betrayal so vile the thought makes his tongue feel coated with acidic sick. The man in front of him is the cause. A temptation provided.
A knife in his back-
What he deserves
More than anything and-A brewing, all consuming wrath in his chest that's no longer an ache - it's a numbing agent as his soul forces itself through every shattered piece of Akechi Goro that remains.
And Akechi Goro will make him pay.
The screams
Don't
Register.
An opportunity - a frayed edge. Akechi has always thrived with his back pressed into a corner, with an ever dimming room closing in around him.
The darts are in his hands and-
the pointed tips aim for Maruki's neck as he lunges across the table.
His mom, not his mom, never his mom, that wouldn't be his mom, that disgusting abomination of a copy isn't his dangling, step stool kicked under her, blue tinted body mom and it's not the mom of Akechi Goro so he doesn't register her splintered, ten splinters, ten pieces of glass shattering against the floor as she ring, ring, rings in a tone that compels someone who isn't Akechi Goro to pick up and -He won't stop.
He'll never stop.
It was always too late to stop.]
I will never be your goddamn puppet!
S̵̬̚ ̸̭͊Ü̸͕ ̶̦̔R̴̺̆ ̵͚͝P̶̝̋ ̸͘ͅR̵̭͑ ̵̲̏Í̷͇ ̴̧̇S̸̈ͅ ̵͈̌E
Reality tears. Rips. Shreds. Falls away, like so many scales from Akechi's eyes, furious gaze boring holes into Maruki's own as he dives, shoves, topples both of them over onto the ground.
Each point dug deep into his throat shreds, rips, tears, and if Maruki screams, if he cries out, if he makes any noise at all, then he can't hear it. Can't hear anything but the blood pounding in his own ears like ocean waves–
the weekend spent at Kamakura with Rumi, how she laughed when a rogue wave crested overhead and knocked him clean off his feet
–and the rumble of Azathoth's might, distant from him now, muted by layer upon layer of cognition holding this reality together as it rips, tears, shreds–
There's blood in his mouth and
streaked across her hands as she searched for any sign of life in her parents
streaking down his throat with
the delicate, graceful curve of her neck as she turned to call to him in that field of wildflowers
every gasping breath
quiet and even when she slept in on her days off, sometimes past noon, he could never bring himself to disturb her when she looked so peacefully content
and blind plea. ]
Get off–
[ Hands fisted in his shirt. Arms trying to shove him off. Reality unraveling beneath his fingertips as Akechi Goro only comes more alive.
Every word burns, chokes, but Maruki can't stop himself, could never stop himself. An appeal to the better nature that he knows must have existed once, that he ensured could exist again. ]
You don't want to do this, please, you aren't a puppet, you're–
[ a̶͉̱͊ ̵̲̤̻̉͑h̸̨̞́͊ơ̷̺͊̏s̷̛̪͒̿t̴̳͂̍̕ǎ̷͔͊g̴̳͐e̸̱͋̍ ]
:̵̨̺̙͈̞̬̱̮̩̳̗̖͖͚̥̲̙̿̌͆͊̂̓͗̉͛͑̅̋̑̽̋͑̒́̿̈̇̇̑̓̂͌͘͘͘͜͜
how Maruki struggles under Akechi's grip.
He won't stop. He won't stop. He won't stop. He won't stop. He won't stop.]it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter it won't matter because
I'll be joining you.
[Another needle to the eye, viciously dug until an offwhite liquid with streaks of red flow out and-
He won't stop it won't matter he won't stop it won't matter he's free he's free he's free he's free and-
He laughs - light, and airy. Bright, and joyous. Content and
I'm Akechi Goro and we will never meet again.
[Wisps of smoke appear in his vision he remembers -
The first he killed someone in a terrifying, massive, overwhelming world - he can't remember who it was.
Drag him down. He deserves it. Maruki deserves it.Can't remember how he felt. Only recalls the shadows pulled free from a false corpse that now return to pull him down, down down.
He remembers his mom as bruises form around Maruki's neck from fingers that lock together like rope -
Ten splinters on a rafter - he counts the veins popping in the man's neck. Not ten, maybe five, it's blurry.
A blinding television studio where he met Akira -
Maybe on the subway
Maybe on the street. Maybe passing forces on a sidewalk and their fates were intertwined from the second he stepped foot in Tokyo.Akira betrayed him. Kurusu betrayed him.
Akechi will never forgive him. Wishes for him to be trapped in a false world he condemned them all too, even as reality crumbles.
He can't breathe. Neither can Maruki. Maruki isn't breathing. The chest under him stops moving, hands stop moving, Akechi-Because he isn't there. Because he is. Because there's a second, a minute, a moment where he wonders -
Where he wishes