(you can pm me here or on plurk if you'd like to beforehand, but also if you'd just like to drop something at my doorstep with no preamble please do!!)
Regardless of what he thinks, wants, wishes - Akira knows that there will never be a world where it isn't wrong, where it isn't something unfair to saddle onto Maruki. He doesn't bear responsibility for Akira's pain anymore than he does his grieving heart. Wouldn't it only be cruel, to make him witness a pain he can never fix?
He doesn't want to be selfish with Maruki. He's beeh selfish with Maruki back home, in the other world, in this one. He's seen some demands on him here. It isn't right, to ask more when he's already asked too much.
Akira opens his mouth, and something else seizes his throat.]
If it's you... [His own fingers tie themselves against the ones clumsily grasping for him.] ...I think I could try.
[His ally. One of his dearest friends in any world. Betrayal and forgiveness and the only one that could ever, ever just see.
The moment those hands reached for him, the answer was already sealed with wax against his soul.]
I hope you can forgive me, if I take just a little bit more.
They're each other's exception, special clause, final hail Mary thrown out at the last gasp.
But that's not just it for Maruki. If it's Akira, of course he could try, but– ]
Because it's you, I'll try too.
[ Kurusu Akira is his reason, his promise. There's nothing Maruki wouldn't try for him, because of him. Even something as terrifying as this, agreeing to bare his whole aching, grieving, exhausted heart without fear of being too selfish.
He squeezes Akira's hand, looks at him with such all-encompassing warmth. The flowers and vines will take hold again in time, it's inevitable, but for now–
Maruki breathes, and he can feel scar tissue forming where deep gouges have begun to heal. ]
Take everything you need. I'm giving it freely to you. There's nothing to forgive you for.
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7dead subject line vc i always knew you'd come back
Regardless of what he thinks, wants, wishes - Akira knows that there will never be a world where it isn't wrong, where it isn't something unfair to saddle onto Maruki. He doesn't bear responsibility for Akira's pain anymore than he does his grieving heart. Wouldn't it only be cruel, to make him witness a pain he can never fix?
He doesn't want to be selfish with Maruki. He's beeh selfish with Maruki back home, in the other world, in this one. He's seen some demands on him here. It isn't right, to ask more when he's already asked too much.
Akira opens his mouth, and something else seizes his throat.]
If it's you... [His own fingers tie themselves against the ones clumsily grasping for him.] ...I think I could try.
[His ally. One of his dearest friends in any world. Betrayal and forgiveness and the only one that could ever, ever just see.
The moment those hands reached for him, the answer was already sealed with wax against his soul.]
I hope you can forgive me, if I take just a little bit more.
[Because I'll never be able to forgive myself.]
big if true: i think this one's wrappin too
They're each other's exception, special clause, final hail Mary thrown out at the last gasp.
But that's not just it for Maruki. If it's Akira, of course he could try, but– ]
Because it's you, I'll try too.
[ Kurusu Akira is his reason, his promise. There's nothing Maruki wouldn't try for him, because of him. Even something as terrifying as this, agreeing to bare his whole aching, grieving, exhausted heart without fear of being too selfish.
He squeezes Akira's hand, looks at him with such all-encompassing warmth. The flowers and vines will take hold again in time, it's inevitable, but for now–
Maruki breathes, and he can feel scar tissue forming where deep gouges have begun to heal. ]
Take everything you need. I'm giving it freely to you. There's nothing to forgive you for.