(you can pm me here or on plurk if you'd like to beforehand, but also if you'd just like to drop something at my doorstep with no preamble please do!!)
[It's so loud. Resonating. It doesn't bother her there are no kids, suddenly.
That there won't ever be, maybe.
That there shouldn't be, probably.]
Even in high school, I was thinking of what we would name our kid someday.
I had imaginary arguments with you when I fell asleep - before we were dating! I remember one day I got so mad at you in my dreams, I thought I would never speak to you again in reality.
Is that why you would sometimes show up to school angry with me before I'd even said anything? You just solved one of the great mysteries of my life...
Because for every moment of their life spent together - from the ridiculous rumors at Seven Sisters to college to the first few months in their shared, shoebox apartment.
She's happy.
He's happy.
There's nothing left for either of them. She wonders how long it will take him to realize. Wonders if she should shatter that illusion.
Doesn't know why she's aware of it. Because he needs her, maybe. Because he can't handle it alone. Because she couldn't move on and waited for him until he fell from untold heights, in the shattered remains of a crystalline world, grasping a boy whose fingers slipped in those final moments.]
I was just feeling a little emotional.
You really are the man of my dreams, no matter how mad you make me sometimes.
I'm kind of hoping you get that sushi job. (˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ ) ✧ Let's go tonight and start scouting out future companies for you to work for.
[Maybe if he had-]
No matter how bad things get, no matter what you do or where we end up - we'll always find each other again.
Don't forget, Takuto. Just because we haven't made our vows yet doesn't mean that isn't true.
Things don't get bad, not for them. They get difficult, but not bad. Never bad.
And they haven't let one another out of their sights ever since they met. Where could they end up that would necessitate finding one another again?
His stomach twists into a knot he's unfamiliar with. Something sits heavy at the base of his skull, like one of his usual headaches, but worse. He doesn't understand. Somehow, he's never understood less than in this moment. ]
[They don't lie to one another - ever. Rumi doesn't plan to start now. Not when he needs it most. Not when they're both on the verge of another world.
A gunshot, then another. It makes it stomach churn. Makes her wonder if she met the same fate as her parents on some cold winter day.
She doesn't want to think about it. Can't. Focuses on the screen, the man at the other end.]
Yeah, something did. It's-
Well, let's talk at home, but don't stop texting me. I'm going to need your opinion on takeout in a second.
[Maybe - possibly. This street keeps repeating, no doors open.]
You know, my friends told me not to date you. They said you were too much of a nerd.
But that was part of the charm for me. I remember telling Ariko-chan that you were way better than that stupid track star she was dating. I thought you might be a secret bad boy deep down - you know, like those tv shows.
In the day, Maruki-kun is a humble, quiet student. At night, he turns into a anti-hero that steals candy from children and hotwires cars at the police station.
It sits in the pit of his stomach, at the base of his skull, a hulking, dark, unknown wrongness that only becomes more frightening the longer it refuses to take shape. That's not new, either – sometimes his anxieties get the better of him, they always have. Rumi has seen it more than anyone else has. Held his hands and rubbed his back as he tried to catch his mind before it could run away from him with a thousand possibilities of everything that could go wrong.
She can't right now. He's alone in the cramped supply room converted into his office, no windows, light flickering overhead. It makes him have to squint to read his papers through the dim. He always winds up with the worst headaches.
His heart races, and he tries to focus on her words on the screen, tries to feel her delicate hand pressing between his shoulder blades to get him to breathe. ]
Okay. I won't stop texting you. I wish you would tell me what happened, though...
(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)
Well, were you disappointed when you found out I wasn't a secret bad boy?
Wow, they really were gullible... I guess I would have been too, at the time.
Now I know you too well. If you told me something like that, I would say Rumi-chan is playing pranks again!
[ His heart hasn't stopped racing, and his chest feels heavy.
There's something... ]
Do your parents really like me?
[ That, at least, is a perennial worry. One day they'll visit so he can tell them he intends to marry their daughter, and he's been worried about it for months. ]
[It rings. Resounding. Painful. It's not gunshots, but screams. It's not bullets piercing window and wall, it's the agonizing wail coming out of her own throat, drowning all else.]
They do. You think they would let their little girl date someone this long otherwise?
[They were so happy when he visited that once pristine home.]
Let's go soon, okay?
[They can meet her parents again. They can see everyone again now. If she can get him to-]
How do you feel about moving in with them?
Just kidding. ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)✨
I know the countryside isn't for you. It is peaceful though. Louder than the city sometimes - I think it could grow on you.
[ She reassures him, and he believes her. This is how things work between them. It's never placation. It's always genuine. Rumi would tell him if he was being a blind idiot, but he's not.
[It will be. Was. Takuto discussed realities and worlds with her - all of it flying far over her head, but she listened. She loves him. She thinks of the few pieces her mind could grasp during one of his many animated talks in the kitchen.
Grief ruined her, for however long she was alive. Grief ruined him for years after and beyond. Alone. Will continue to, even in this bizarre place.
When they can talk - when they're face to face, they'll argue. She will. He'll sit with that agonized, guilt ridden expression. On the couch, slouched over, arms on his knees and hands folded between them. She's seen it before. He's done it before, but more than ever she needs him to look her in the eyes.
She'll make him.
He did what he thought was best, but all she wanted was to be with him. In the days, weeks, years - however long that might have taken.
What good is a life with Maruki Takuto?]
We're a team.
If you're bad luck, then that means one of two things-
I'm your ultimate lucky charm that will cancel out anything bad or-
We're bad luck together. Us. If anything happens, we'll deal with it. Just like always.
[ Even a perfect, painless world. Even if it kills him to see it through.
Something shifts. The single overhead light in this converted supply closet of an office has been flickering, in-and-out fluorescence making his already bad headache worse. He feels pressure against his eyes, removes his glasses – it doesn't abate. Like a solid plate of heavy gold digging into his skin. He doesn't understand. ]
I love you. I'll take care of you. That will always be true, no matter how mad you make me sometimes.
[It's not silent in that carbon copy apartment surrounded by liminal space. Their voices echo beyond it into a vision of Eden itself that surrounds all.
It's their home, it's nothing, it's a blooming field of vibrant flowers.
It can hardly be called an argument when only one party is speaking - her almost husband stoic on the couch. Silent. Arms folded over his knees. Slouched, like she suspected. He doesn't feel well, but this is all the time they have left. He doesn't feel well, and she wants him to know it's okay.
He doesn't feel well, even as the conversation dulls into nothing. Only the buzz of a too old refrigerator filling the gaps as she sits next to him.
Rumi doesn't know who starts crying first - him, her, it almost doesn't matter. He was always the more emotional one between them. That doesn't mean she doesn't have the capacity to hurt. He knows that - more than anyone. Tried to protect her from it. His rationale revolves around it. Her. All for her. A power she can't understand forming from more than her, but its depths are rooted in his memory of her.
It's silent again - confession after confession. It's quiet, until she breaks it with a crack about kicking his ass through her own tear stained face.
They wanted a family. A home. Her parents should have been in their lives until old age sent them to another world. They would inherit the house, live in the country, raise children who would one day live elsewhere, who would bring home grandchildren for them to adore in their final years.
She doesn't know where they are, but as the world around them starts to crack and shatter like Eden when a boy's hand slipped-
It's only their cognition that remains. It's only their hearts that exist. Wherever that led them-
She's grateful.
More than ever.
That her hand could clench his so tight as a perfect world of vibrant flowers falls again at the edge of their vision. That she could keep him on the couch with her, like a siren of death, as the liminal space starts to crumble in turn.
I love you a whisper over the crumbling ruins, the rumble of their own small world being ripped apart.
I forgive you - I will always forgive you as an encroaching darkness takes over and-
I'll find you - I will always find you turning into a glimmering, blue butterfly to echo in every lifetime after.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[The screams are louder than ever.]
You're happy with our life, aren't you?
Well, before you answer-
I am.
[It's so loud. Resonating. It doesn't bother her there are no kids, suddenly.
That there won't ever be, maybe.
That there shouldn't be, probably.]
Even in high school, I was thinking of what we would name our kid someday.
I had imaginary arguments with you when I fell asleep - before we were dating! I remember one day I got so mad at you in my dreams, I thought I would never speak to you again in reality.
Isn't that silly?
1/2 and i hate you double
no subject
Maruki doesn't hesitate for even a moment. He types the answer so quickly that he makes several clumsy typos that he has to go back and correct. ]
I'm happy with our life, too. Every day I only get happier. And I know that won't ever stop.
Even when things are hard. Even if my career goes nowhere and I end up putting sushi on a conveyer belt for a living.
Being with you is the only happiness I've ever known.
But why do you ask? (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)
no subject
Because for every moment of their life spent together - from the ridiculous rumors at Seven Sisters to college to the first few months in their shared, shoebox apartment.
She's happy.
He's happy.
There's nothing left for either of them. She wonders how long it will take him to realize. Wonders if she should shatter that illusion.
Doesn't know why she's aware of it. Because he needs her, maybe. Because he can't handle it alone. Because she couldn't move on and waited for him until he fell from untold heights, in the shattered remains of a crystalline world, grasping a boy whose fingers slipped in those final moments.]
I was just feeling a little emotional.
You really are the man of my dreams, no matter how mad you make me sometimes.
I'm kind of hoping you get that sushi job. (˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ ) ✧ Let's go tonight and start scouting out future companies for you to work for.
[Maybe if he had-]
No matter how bad things get, no matter what you do or where we end up - we'll always find each other again.
Don't forget, Takuto. Just because we haven't made our vows yet doesn't mean that isn't true.
no subject
Things don't get bad, not for them. They get difficult, but not bad. Never bad.
And they haven't let one another out of their sights ever since they met. Where could they end up that would necessitate finding one another again?
His stomach twists into a knot he's unfamiliar with. Something sits heavy at the base of his skull, like one of his usual headaches, but worse. He doesn't understand. Somehow, he's never understood less than in this moment. ]
Rumi.
Is something wrong? Did something happen?
no subject
A gunshot, then another. It makes it stomach churn. Makes her wonder if she met the same fate as her parents on some cold winter day.
She doesn't want to think about it. Can't. Focuses on the screen, the man at the other end.]
Yeah, something did. It's-
Well, let's talk at home, but don't stop texting me. I'm going to need your opinion on takeout in a second.
[Maybe - possibly. This street keeps repeating, no doors open.]
You know, my friends told me not to date you. They said you were too much of a nerd.
But that was part of the charm for me. I remember telling Ariko-chan that you were way better than that stupid track star she was dating. I thought you might be a secret bad boy deep down - you know, like those tv shows.
In the day, Maruki-kun is a humble, quiet student. At night, he turns into a anti-hero that steals candy from children and hotwires cars at the police station.
no subject
It sits in the pit of his stomach, at the base of his skull, a hulking, dark, unknown wrongness that only becomes more frightening the longer it refuses to take shape. That's not new, either – sometimes his anxieties get the better of him, they always have. Rumi has seen it more than anyone else has. Held his hands and rubbed his back as he tried to catch his mind before it could run away from him with a thousand possibilities of everything that could go wrong.
She can't right now. He's alone in the cramped supply room converted into his office, no windows, light flickering overhead. It makes him have to squint to read his papers through the dim. He always winds up with the worst headaches.
His heart races, and he tries to focus on her words on the screen, tries to feel her delicate hand pressing between his shoulder blades to get him to breathe. ]
Okay. I won't stop texting you. I wish you would tell me what happened, though...
(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)
Well, were you disappointed when you found out I wasn't a secret bad boy?
no subject
We take on all our problems together, side by side. A text doesn't cut it.
(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)
[Was she disappointed when he wasn't a knife wielding alleyway hooligan?]
But yeah - maybe for a second. My dreams of a motorcycling thug whisking me off my feet-
Well, it was more like a king did instead. I couldn't be mad about that. Plus, it made it way easier to get my parents to like you.
But....
I still told my friends you were one. That's why Miyako-chan gave you the stink eye for a year until I came clean. Sorry about that.
no subject
Wait, they actually believed you!?
Wow, they really were gullible... I guess I would have been too, at the time.
Now I know you too well. If you told me something like that, I would say Rumi-chan is playing pranks again!
[ His heart hasn't stopped racing, and his chest feels heavy.
There's something... ]
Do your parents really like me?
[ That, at least, is a perennial worry. One day they'll visit so he can tell them he intends to marry their daughter, and he's been worried about it for months. ]
no subject
They do. You think they would let their little girl date someone this long otherwise?
[They were so happy when he visited that once pristine home.]
Let's go soon, okay?
[They can meet her parents again. They can see everyone again now. If she can get him to-]
How do you feel about moving in with them?
Just kidding. ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)✨
I know the countryside isn't for you. It is peaceful though. Louder than the city sometimes - I think it could grow on you.
no subject
So... ]
I'm worried about visiting them.
I feel like it'll be bad luck, somehow.
I'm bad luck. Somehow.
no subject
Grief ruined her, for however long she was alive. Grief ruined him for years after and beyond. Alone. Will continue to, even in this bizarre place.
When they can talk - when they're face to face, they'll argue. She will. He'll sit with that agonized, guilt ridden expression. On the couch, slouched over, arms on his knees and hands folded between them. She's seen it before. He's done it before, but more than ever she needs him to look her in the eyes.
She'll make him.
He did what he thought was best, but all she wanted was to be with him. In the days, weeks, years - however long that might have taken.
What good is a life with Maruki Takuto?]
We're a team.
If you're bad luck, then that means one of two things-
I'm your ultimate lucky charm that will cancel out anything bad or-
We're bad luck together. Us. If anything happens, we'll deal with it. Just like always.
Promise me that we will.
no subject
[ He promises. ]
Of course I promise.
[ Of course he promises. ]
You know that I'll promise you anything.
[ Even a perfect, painless world. Even if it kills him to see it through.
Something shifts. The single overhead light in this converted supply closet of an office has been flickering, in-and-out fluorescence making his already bad headache worse. He feels pressure against his eyes, removes his glasses – it doesn't abate. Like a solid plate of heavy gold digging into his skin. He doesn't understand. ]
I don't know what I'll do when I lose you.
[ What? ]
If I lost you, I mean...
[ W̵̡̨̘̼̥͉̖͈͉̪̩͔͉̙̎̀̈́͜h̴̛̤͉͖̮̗̽͑̿̔̇͗͜ǎ̵̰̥̞̺̪̟͙̼͕̯̞̯̀̓͒ͅt̸͈͚̾̊̄̃́̂͆̎̏̇̂͘͝?̸̡̞͉̪̠̣̈́̽͂̒̇̅͛̑́͌̚͝ ]
I don't feel well. I'm coming home early.
Please be there.
no subject
I love you. I'll take care of you. That will always be true, no matter how mad you make me sometimes.
[It's not silent in that carbon copy apartment surrounded by liminal space. Their voices echo beyond it into a vision of Eden itself that surrounds all.
It's their home, it's nothing, it's a blooming field of vibrant flowers.
It can hardly be called an argument when only one party is speaking - her almost husband stoic on the couch. Silent. Arms folded over his knees. Slouched, like she suspected. He doesn't feel well, but this is all the time they have left. He doesn't feel well, and she wants him to know it's okay.
He doesn't feel well, even as the conversation dulls into nothing. Only the buzz of a too old refrigerator filling the gaps as she sits next to him.
Rumi doesn't know who starts crying first - him, her, it almost doesn't matter. He was always the more emotional one between them. That doesn't mean she doesn't have the capacity to hurt. He knows that - more than anyone. Tried to protect her from it. His rationale revolves around it. Her. All for her. A power she can't understand forming from more than her, but its depths are rooted in his memory of her.
It's silent again - confession after confession. It's quiet, until she breaks it with a crack about kicking his ass through her own tear stained face.
They wanted a family. A home. Her parents should have been in their lives until old age sent them to another world. They would inherit the house, live in the country, raise children who would one day live elsewhere, who would bring home grandchildren for them to adore in their final years.
She doesn't know where they are, but as the world around them starts to crack and shatter like Eden when a boy's hand slipped-
It's only their cognition that remains. It's only their hearts that exist. Wherever that led them-
She's grateful.
More than ever.
That her hand could clench his so tight as a perfect world of vibrant flowers falls again at the edge of their vision. That she could keep him on the couch with her, like a siren of death, as the liminal space starts to crumble in turn.I love you a whisper over the crumbling ruins, the rumble of their own small world being ripped apart.
I forgive you - I will always forgive you as an encroaching darkness takes over and-
I'll find you - I will always find you turning into a glimmering, blue butterfly to echo in every lifetime after.]