(you can pm me here or on plurk if you'd like to beforehand, but also if you'd just like to drop something at my doorstep with no preamble please do!!)
[ Maruki would be a liar if he pretended that he hasn't wondered about Yoshizawa over the past year.
He was lucky enough to make his peace with Kurusu during that brief taxi ride. But in the end, despite all that occurred between them during the month that led up to their confrontation on the shattered shards of reality high above Odaiba, to say nothing of the battle that left each other's blood on their knuckles – in the end, that reconciliation wasn't the one that frightened him most.
He did worse to Yoshizawa than nearly anyone. He doesn't expect Kurusu's level of forgiveness from her any more than he does from Rumi. Neither of them should want anything to do with him for the rest of their long, happy lives...
But he has wondered.
He isn't looking. Haneda is easy work. He can pull up to the curb at the arrivals level, lean an elbow out his window to prop his chin up on his hand, watch a plane or two take off, and by then another passenger will have found their way into his backseat.
He isn't looking, until he is.
That voice shatters his cognition first. Bright as the summer sun, perfectly polite, edged slightly with the exhaustion of travel but no less cheerful than ever. Maruki whips around, eyes wide behind thick glasses to confirm it – there must be nothing less than utter shock scrawled across his features, but his whole body feels too numb to register it, iced over dread replacing all else. ]
[She hears the last voice she'd ever expect to hear, and that's why her phone flies from her fingers onto the car seat. Somehow it doesn't slip off to the floor.
Her mouth parts in disbelief. In wonder, almost.
Coincidences aren't this convenient, are they? She thinks they mustn't be.]
Maruki-sensei...
[He doesn't even look a day older, although - there's something looser in his face that she doesn't even have time to narrow down. Not before she notices the rest of the shifts in his expression. The dread. The beginnings of hope, the beginnings of happiness - they are trapped under a rock that sinks to the pit of her stomach.
Why... is he looking at her like that?
Something insidious, dark and ugly, something cruel that Kurusu Akira has worked at gently pulling her away from by the hand - it rears up in her now like an old enemy and whispers right into her ear. Maybe because you're what his failure looks like.
Because you aren't Kasumi.
It hurts. It stings. She has learned to stand on her own with gentleness and grace for the sake of two, so she does not let the pain make her buckle. Regardless, Sumire can't keep the sadness out of her voice.]
I'm... I'm so sorry. Do- Do you want me to get a different cab?
[It would be so unbearable to leave without even getting to say anything that actually matters... but she'd hate being the cause of that expression far more.]
closes eyes. so much has changed in 9 months but not how insane this makes me
[ It bursts out of him before he can soften the desperation in his tone. He blinks, as if really hearing himself for the first time, then takes a breath to try to steady that panic away. ]
No, please don't go. It's just that–
[ The car is idling, and the other cabs constantly streaming out of the lot will surely begin to honk at him soon to get a move on, but Maruki doesn't care. He twists around more fully in his seat so he can face her head-on.
It's the least of what Yoshizawa deserves, after all. She was brave enough to do the same to him no matter how hard he fought against her. ]
I haven't seen you in so long. Not since...
[ Dread morphed quickly into panic before, but now it all falls by the wayside. Maruki's eyes soften, brows drawing together to meet in the middle and mouth twisting into a thoughtful little frown.
No, now he can only look at her with honest, sincere apology. ]
I would understand if you didn't want to see me after everything that happened. That's all.
No, I-! [The words rush out of her just as fast.] No... I don't want that at all. I-I've wanted to talk to you for so long, but I...
[Sumire finally breaks from looking at him, stares down at where her hands gather to clench in her lap.]
I tried, but I couldn't bring myself to contact you. Every time I thought of it, I got scared.
[What if she'd been wrong? What if she wasn't strong enough for two, to stand on her own feet and carry a dream?
What if she was, and he didn't want to see her like this?
What if he did, but it hurt too much to see every reminder of how she'd gone against his dream?
She doesn't want to disappoint Maruki. She doesn't want to hurt him. She's never wanted that...
I'm done running away.
...She'd said that, and then she'd gone it done it again, hadn't she?
Sumire has to carry Kasumi's portion. She'll hold up for her, for Senpai-
-and she should hold it up for Maruki too, shouldn't she?
So even if it's hard... she lifts her head again, and looks at him head-on.]
Even so, I... I really, really wanted to see you again. [It's small, and it's pained, but she manages a fragile smile.] I know you have to work right now, but I'd really like to talk to you. If not now, then maybe another time. Is that... alright?
[ It almost makes Maruki laugh, how ridiculous they both must seem right now, falling all over themselves to apologize for what the other thinks needs no apology at all. Almost– but he's too caught up for a moment in that admission that she was afraid to contact him.
His heart clutches in his chest, aches keenly. What could Sumire be frightened of? There's no one he's more proud of. ]
Of course it's alright. Yoshizawa-san, I–
[ Another cab does honk, then. Maruki leans apologetically out of his window, waves them around him, then turns his attention back to her, gaze softening. ]
I always find myself thinking about you. [ About all of them, of course, but her and Akira more than anyone else. ] I never thought I'd get the opportunity to see or speak with you again, but... I'm so glad I wa wrong.
[ His smile is gentle, hopeful. ]
Let me know where you'd like me to take you, and we can talk along the way. I want to hear how you've been doing.
[ The good and the bad. The joyous and the painful. ]
Oh, and– you can come sit up in the front, if you'd like! If that would make it easier to chat, hah...
Yes! [It barrels out of her without a second thought, and that makes her flush even harder.] Sorry, I just- Yes. Give me one moment, I'll switch seats...
[There's a flustered, confused little shuffle as she gathers her things, reaches for the door and stops, waits for it to open automatically- and then after he's opened it for her, she's finally sliding into the manual at the front of the car...
She feels fifteen again. She feels younger, stumbling around and trying to find her grace.]
Sorry... but also, thank you.
[She tucks a little bit of hair behind her ear, feeling a little bit more steady. It's odd, the way that just the invitation to come closer alone has made her feel a little more at ease.]
Maybe it'll tell you a little of how I'm doing too, but... I'm headed to Yogenjaya. [She doesn't reach for her map app to show him the directions, this time.] To Leblanc.
[I always find myself thinking about you.
He was thinking about her. Just like she always is... Maruki was always thinking about her.
She's been nervous, worried, scared... And yet all along...
I never thought I'd get the opportunity to see or speak with you again, but... I'm so glad I was wrong.
...Their thoughts weren't so different from each others', after all of this time.]
looking at the unused counseling sessions to see he calls her futaba instead of sakura.... weirdo
[ It comes out soft, almost disbelieving, as if he could have possibly misheard her. It's novel enough to have Yoshizawa seated next to him, so genuinely happy to see him again, but then to hear that...
There's a swooping sensation in his gut, like a dove descending from its flight, like looking down while dangling over a ledge. At least he and Akira left things on copacetic terms back in front of that train station, but still– Maruki hasn't spoken to him since. Not out of the same fear that drove him away from Yoshizawa, but out of a deference for Akira finally pursuing his own desires. His future was unfolding before him, filled with all the possibility his parole in Tokyo never could have afforded him, and it wasn't Maruki's place to re-insert himself.
He tries to swallow, throat suddenly dry. ]
Is he...
[ Is he back? Is he visiting, or is he back in Tokyo for good?
Something like hope begins to blossom in his chest, and he tries to smother it, to spare himself the pain of disappointment when things don't work out as perfectly as they have here with Yoshizawa. It would be impossible for lightning to strike twice. ]
Or are you visiting Futaba-san and Boss?
i'd think it's her being the youngest but she's a bit older than yoshizawa... what IS going on there
[With the way he reacted to her, it isn't a surprise to hear the soft disbelief in his voice. Even if she didn't witness all of it, Sumire still knows enough to recognize where his hesitation comes from.]
I'm visiting him.
[Softly, gently. She doesn't say his name, knows she doesn't need to. If he weren't in the driver's seat, if she felt she little a bit more certain - she knows she'd take Maruki's hand in her own.]
If you wanted to... You don't have to, but if you wanted to... I think he'd really, really like to talk to you.
[Sumire says it, and she already knows it to be true. She doesn't say it, because it isn't her story to tell.
But she knows that when it comes to this, her and Akira's hearts are entwined.
Late night after late night, phone call after phone call. They didn't used to know, at first, that they had the same longing to speak to Maruki Takuto at least one more time. But with the knowledge came long conversations wondering what he was doing, confiding in each other what they would say, both of them sitting with a number lodged into their contacts but unable to gather the courage to reach a hand out. Senpai had always felt impossibly brave in everything that he did, it never occurred to her that he could feel the same apprehension as her. There was something nice about it, even if she felt a little bad he had to experience it, too.
But it never shocked her as much as it could have. In hindsight, it only made sense, when they were the two that wanted to save him more than anything.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
howls weakly
He was lucky enough to make his peace with Kurusu during that brief taxi ride. But in the end, despite all that occurred between them during the month that led up to their confrontation on the shattered shards of reality high above Odaiba, to say nothing of the battle that left each other's blood on their knuckles – in the end, that reconciliation wasn't the one that frightened him most.
He did worse to Yoshizawa than nearly anyone. He doesn't expect Kurusu's level of forgiveness from her any more than he does from Rumi. Neither of them should want anything to do with him for the rest of their long, happy lives...
But he has wondered.
He isn't looking. Haneda is easy work. He can pull up to the curb at the arrivals level, lean an elbow out his window to prop his chin up on his hand, watch a plane or two take off, and by then another passenger will have found their way into his backseat.
He isn't looking, until he is.
That voice shatters his cognition first. Bright as the summer sun, perfectly polite, edged slightly with the exhaustion of travel but no less cheerful than ever. Maruki whips around, eyes wide behind thick glasses to confirm it – there must be nothing less than utter shock scrawled across his features, but his whole body feels too numb to register it, iced over dread replacing all else. ]
Yoshizawa-san?
wake up caitlin it's time for bullet
Her mouth parts in disbelief. In wonder, almost.
Coincidences aren't this convenient, are they? She thinks they mustn't be.]
Maruki-sensei...
[He doesn't even look a day older, although - there's something looser in his face that she doesn't even have time to narrow down. Not before she notices the rest of the shifts in his expression. The dread. The beginnings of hope, the beginnings of happiness - they are trapped under a rock that sinks to the pit of her stomach.
Why... is he looking at her like that?
Something insidious, dark and ugly, something cruel that Kurusu Akira has worked at gently pulling her away from by the hand - it rears up in her now like an old enemy and whispers right into her ear. Maybe because you're what his failure looks like.
Because you aren't Kasumi.
It hurts. It stings. She has learned to stand on her own with gentleness and grace for the sake of two, so she does not let the pain make her buckle. Regardless, Sumire can't keep the sadness out of her voice.]
I'm... I'm so sorry. Do- Do you want me to get a different cab?
[It would be so unbearable to leave without even getting to say anything that actually matters... but she'd hate being the cause of that expression far more.]
closes eyes. so much has changed in 9 months but not how insane this makes me
[ It bursts out of him before he can soften the desperation in his tone. He blinks, as if really hearing himself for the first time, then takes a breath to try to steady that panic away. ]
No, please don't go. It's just that–
[ The car is idling, and the other cabs constantly streaming out of the lot will surely begin to honk at him soon to get a move on, but Maruki doesn't care. He twists around more fully in his seat so he can face her head-on.
It's the least of what Yoshizawa deserves, after all. She was brave enough to do the same to him no matter how hard he fought against her. ]
I haven't seen you in so long. Not since...
[ Dread morphed quickly into panic before, but now it all falls by the wayside. Maruki's eyes soften, brows drawing together to meet in the middle and mouth twisting into a thoughtful little frown.
No, now he can only look at her with honest, sincere apology. ]
I would understand if you didn't want to see me after everything that happened. That's all.
me neither. that's how powerful they are.
[Sumire finally breaks from looking at him, stares down at where her hands gather to clench in her lap.]
I tried, but I couldn't bring myself to contact you. Every time I thought of it, I got scared.
[What if she'd been wrong? What if she wasn't strong enough for two, to stand on her own feet and carry a dream?
What if she was, and he didn't want to see her like this?
What if he did, but it hurt too much to see every reminder of how she'd gone against his dream?
She doesn't want to disappoint Maruki. She doesn't want to hurt him. She's never wanted that...
I'm done running away.
...She'd said that, and then she'd gone it done it again, hadn't she?
Sumire has to carry Kasumi's portion. She'll hold up for her, for Senpai-
-and she should hold it up for Maruki too, shouldn't she?
So even if it's hard... she lifts her head again, and looks at him head-on.]
Even so, I... I really, really wanted to see you again. [It's small, and it's pained, but she manages a fragile smile.] I know you have to work right now, but I'd really like to talk to you. If not now, then maybe another time. Is that... alright?
we need to nerf their power actually
His heart clutches in his chest, aches keenly. What could Sumire be frightened of? There's no one he's more proud of. ]
Of course it's alright. Yoshizawa-san, I–
[ Another cab does honk, then. Maruki leans apologetically out of his window, waves them around him, then turns his attention back to her, gaze softening. ]
I always find myself thinking about you. [ About all of them, of course, but her and Akira more than anyone else. ] I never thought I'd get the opportunity to see or speak with you again, but... I'm so glad I wa wrong.
[ His smile is gentle, hopeful. ]
Let me know where you'd like me to take you, and we can talk along the way. I want to hear how you've been doing.
[ The good and the bad. The joyous and the painful. ]
Oh, and– you can come sit up in the front, if you'd like! If that would make it easier to chat, hah...
God i wish SOMEONE would nerf them, actually
[There's a flustered, confused little shuffle as she gathers her things, reaches for the door and stops, waits for it to open automatically- and then after he's opened it for her, she's finally sliding into the manual at the front of the car...
She feels fifteen again. She feels younger, stumbling around and trying to find her grace.]
Sorry... but also, thank you.
[She tucks a little bit of hair behind her ear, feeling a little bit more steady. It's odd, the way that just the invitation to come closer alone has made her feel a little more at ease.]
Maybe it'll tell you a little of how I'm doing too, but... I'm headed to Yogenjaya. [She doesn't reach for her map app to show him the directions, this time.] To Leblanc.
[I always find myself thinking about you.
He was thinking about her. Just like she always is... Maruki was always thinking about her.
She's been nervous, worried, scared... And yet all along...
I never thought I'd get the opportunity to see or speak with you again, but... I'm so glad I was wrong.
...Their thoughts weren't so different from each others', after all of this time.]
looking at the unused counseling sessions to see he calls her futaba instead of sakura.... weirdo
No need even for an address. ]
Leblanc?
[ It comes out soft, almost disbelieving, as if he could have possibly misheard her. It's novel enough to have Yoshizawa seated next to him, so genuinely happy to see him again, but then to hear that...
There's a swooping sensation in his gut, like a dove descending from its flight, like looking down while dangling over a ledge. At least he and Akira left things on copacetic terms back in front of that train station, but still– Maruki hasn't spoken to him since. Not out of the same fear that drove him away from Yoshizawa, but out of a deference for Akira finally pursuing his own desires. His future was unfolding before him, filled with all the possibility his parole in Tokyo never could have afforded him, and it wasn't Maruki's place to re-insert himself.
He tries to swallow, throat suddenly dry. ]
Is he...
[ Is he back? Is he visiting, or is he back in Tokyo for good?
Something like hope begins to blossom in his chest, and he tries to smother it, to spare himself the pain of disappointment when things don't work out as perfectly as they have here with Yoshizawa. It would be impossible for lightning to strike twice. ]
Or are you visiting Futaba-san and Boss?
i'd think it's her being the youngest but she's a bit older than yoshizawa... what IS going on there
I'm visiting him.
[Softly, gently. She doesn't say his name, knows she doesn't need to. If he weren't in the driver's seat, if she felt she little a bit more certain - she knows she'd take Maruki's hand in her own.]
If you wanted to... You don't have to, but if you wanted to... I think he'd really, really like to talk to you.
[Sumire says it, and she already knows it to be true. She doesn't say it, because it isn't her story to tell.
But she knows that when it comes to this, her and Akira's hearts are entwined.
Late night after late night, phone call after phone call. They didn't used to know, at first, that they had the same longing to speak to Maruki Takuto at least one more time. But with the knowledge came long conversations wondering what he was doing, confiding in each other what they would say, both of them sitting with a number lodged into their contacts but unable to gather the courage to reach a hand out. Senpai had always felt impossibly brave in everything that he did, it never occurred to her that he could feel the same apprehension as her. There was something nice about it, even if she felt a little bad he had to experience it, too.
But it never shocked her as much as it could have. In hindsight, it only made sense, when they were the two that wanted to save him more than anything.]