There's nothing in particular that I have in mind... I just want to see how he's doing. Offer to listen, as I always do. He does sometimes take me up on it.
[ Hopefully this is one of those times. ]
I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that, though. That's good for both of you.
Are you thinking of asking him to stay? In your home, I mean.
[ what to say? vash's feelings are all over the place. vash is scared of what knives will do. vash is angry with knives. but more than that, dolph knows that knives is . . . integral.
because it was knives' departure that broke vash the first time. departures hurt dolph too. he's not connected to their worlds, only their hearts and even then it's flimsy. vash was the first real instance where it held true.
In a way. It's not disappearing. It's going home. Where you belong.
He may be angry at Knives right now, but Knives is important. When Knives left, Vash was . . . depressed. Found it hard. You probably saw it then too. I don't want him to go through that again.
[ . . . maybe selfishly, yeah, dolph does want him here. doesn't want to go through that again. watching vash slip away, no matter what he did. like livio had. ]
And. It's his brother. I don't want to get in the way of that either.
I understand that, and I don't want him to go through it either. But none of us have any control over that. If people were able to return home every time someone they loved did, we'd have a much smaller population.
If he does go through that again, you wouldn't let him deal with it alone. So why try to distance yourself now?
What do you think he'd say if you told him you didn't want to get in the way?
I could never do nothing. I had a whole life of nothing. I'll always do something.
[ but whether it's enough or not, that part feels more and more uncertain. alex's return had shaken him, even as dolph strives to move past it. he feels more and more like he could fade away too. and levi . . . levi was gone. would he even remember dolph where he is?
he feels like he's trying to grasp sand, squeeze it tight and turn it into diamond. or make himself so whole that he can be the hope people want to see. that they turn to.
captain laserhawk. a fantasy. ]
Do you think if we met somewhere. In another life. In another place. I could have been a guiding light to you?
[ Guiding light. That has to be an intentional use of the phrase. It stings a bit, but not in a bad way. Satisfying, the way pressing on a bruise can be. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
( text )
no subject
no subject
And now Knives is here.
no subject
You're kidding. Don't play jokes on me!
no subject
[ shame this is over text. ]
no subject
no subject
That's up to him. I've done everything I can.
no subject
I suppose I'll speak with him about his brother, so for now let's focus on the good - he told you he loves you?
no subject
And yeah. A few weeks ago. It's been good. We've been doing a lot together. He comes by the house a lot.
no subject
[ Hopefully this is one of those times. ]
I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that, though. That's good for both of you.
Are you thinking of asking him to stay? In your home, I mean.
no subject
[ what to say? vash's feelings are all over the place. vash is scared of what knives will do. vash is angry with knives. but more than that, dolph knows that knives is . . . integral.
because it was knives' departure that broke vash the first time. departures hurt dolph too. he's not connected to their worlds, only their hearts and even then it's flimsy. vash was the first real instance where it held true.
but can it withstand this? ]
Nevermind.
no subject
Come on, tell me what's up.
no subject
If Akechi and Akira left, you would too. There'd be no reason to linger. Right?
no subject
I suppose that depends on how much control you think we have over matters like that. But that introduces too many possible hypotheticals, so...
For the purposes of your question, no. Akechi and Kurusu aren't the only reason I'm here.
no subject
I thought you were going to save him.
no subject
You're worried Vash will disappear if Knives does. Right?
no subject
He may be angry at Knives right now, but Knives is important. When Knives left, Vash was . . . depressed. Found it hard. You probably saw it then too. I don't want him to go through that again.
[ . . . maybe selfishly, yeah, dolph does want him here. doesn't want to go through that again. watching vash slip away, no matter what he did. like livio had. ]
And. It's his brother. I don't want to get in the way of that either.
no subject
If he does go through that again, you wouldn't let him deal with it alone. So why try to distance yourself now?
What do you think he'd say if you told him you didn't want to get in the way?
no subject
I guess . . . I don't really know what to do. I'm doing all I can, it just . . . doesn't feel like it's enough.
no subject
no subject
I get your point. I just don't want to mess this up.
no subject
Take it from me. This is more or less part of my job, you know.
no subject
[ but whether it's enough or not, that part feels more and more uncertain. alex's return had shaken him, even as dolph strives to move past it. he feels more and more like he could fade away too. and levi . . . levi was gone. would he even remember dolph where he is?
he feels like he's trying to grasp sand, squeeze it tight and turn it into diamond. or make himself so whole that he can be the hope people want to see. that they turn to.
captain laserhawk. a fantasy. ]
Do you think if we met somewhere. In another life. In another place. I could have been a guiding light to you?
no subject
Of course.
You want that, don't you?
no subject
I want that for myself. I want to be that.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
throws a lil wrap on this..... for flavor
<3